by EJ Everette
Ugh. Fine. “I don’t know what happened, ok? I touched her hand to give her some cash and, I don’t know, my whole body felt warm. Kind of like it used to when you touched me. Before I, you know, ignited and stuff. Anyway, I felt better, actually. And then shit got really weird when she recognized me because of my Grams and showed me a photo of her when she was younger.” I pull the picture up in my mind, the image burned into my memory of my Grams, mom, and a group of ladies I don’t know, all together and happy.
“It’s nice to know you at least believe us,” Rip says calmly, like it means something to him that I don’t think they made all that shit up. Well I am still confused about a lot of stuff and definitely don’t think they’ve been completely honest with me but, yeah, it’s kind of hard not to believe with everything I have experienced. I looked down at my arms where Chance had mentioned my wounds were healing. Sure enough, the areas I had left unbandaged that needed the air to finish healing are practically nonexistent.
“Did she heal me or something?” I ask, ignoring his revelation.
“No, Gray. She didn’t heal you. She just sort of boosted you. I think. I believe she was a witch, based on what I saw.” Rip sounds like he is thinking out loud more than answering me.
“What does that mean? Boosted me? And witches aren’t real. Right?” Ugh. This is too much. No wonder I passed out. First I’m a princess goddess or whatever, then I see my Mom in a photo with my Grams where they look the same age which couldn’t have been much older than I am now, and now Rip tells me witches exist. I need a really long nap.
“Witches are, in fact, real. I am beginning to think Gia…” Rip trails off but I catch exactly what he is implying. Does he think my Grams had been a witch? What does that even mean?
“The witch lady boosted you because you could have healed yourself but you’re too stubborn to listen to us and have locked it all out. So she pushed into your mind and, well, you can see for yourself.” Sometimes his blunt nature can be endearing. Not right now, nor any other time I have been around him, but sometimes, I am sure it’s nice. Chance is no longer looking at me and his body is pressed into the opposite side of the backseat. Thankfully his truck is roomy otherwise the already squished giant would struggle to move even a smidge back here.
“Maybe I’m not stubborn so much as protecting myself. Ever think of that, ass?! Maybe I hate being lied to and manipulated and I am keeping myself from falling for yet another stupid deception. Maybe, just maybe, I don’t like feeling like I am someone’s job. Like they are forced to spend time with me out of some stupid ass obligation made before I was even born. Some people have their own shit going on, Chance. We can’t all walk around brooding and letting everyone else deal with our problems for us like you do!” Rip is pulling into Leanne’s driveway and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see her car is already back home. I yank the door open and practically fall out of the truck, slamming it shut behind me. Rip goes to open his door behind me but Leanne is standing right there, arms crossed in her pissed-off stance.
“Don’t even think about it. Leave. We can take it from here. You are not welcome. Go now before I call the police and have you escorted off my property.” Her voice is so strong, confident. She is royally pissed at the guys and I don’t blame her. I stumble up toward the house. Charlie rushes out the front door, reaching me in seconds. He looks over my shoulder at the guys, a look of confusion and maybe some anger crossing his face. Then he slides an arm under mine and helps me inside. I hear the truck leave a few moments later, meaning Leanne must have said something to the guys I didn’t hear.
“Lay down, Gray. I’ll get you some water and you can tell me what happened today.” Charlie sets me down, gently, upon the couch then heads into the kitchen. Leanne is standing in the front door, arms still very much folded in anger. How did she open the screen like that?
“You can tell both of us what happened today. And no cover-ups. It’s time for you to come clean and explain some shit. Now.” She stomps over and plops down into the recliner across from me. Her glare game is strong, the sharpness of it slightly painful as she focuses on me and only me.
“Leanne, I just don’t want to get into it right now, okay? Can you just give me some time? It’s been a rough few days. I promise to tell you everything soon.” I huff out, exhaustion overpowering me. Healing is rough work and that shit takes a lot out of you.
“Oh it’s been a rough few days, has it? My bad. I didn’t realize. I mean, it’s not like I got a phone call saying you had been in a fire and were rushed to the emergency room a few days ago. It’s not like the doctor’s told me they couldn’t share any information about your situation with me because I was just a friend. That they could only tell me you were stable and alive for now. FOR NOW, Gray! It’s not like I didn’t spend days hopping from the bed of one best friend who was nearly killed by some homophobic assholes to the bed of another friend who wouldn’t wake the fuck up after rushing into a burning house like some psycho and almost dying, herself. Shit. It’s not like I haven’t realized you’re keeping things from me but I'm terrified to push you in case something happens again and I lose you for real this time.” Tears are pouring down her face in gushes, buckets on buckets just falling to the ground beneath her. Her mascara is running down her cheeks, mixing with the onslaught of waterworks, causing her to look like some dark entity from a horror film.
“Damnit, Gray. You're not the only one who has been hurting here. I am trying. I have been tough for Tanner. Tough for you. I have waited for you to open up to me. And then, today, we were really having some good moments, and you collapse in front of me out of nowhere? If I hadn’t been so angry at the guys for kidnapping you, I would have been so fucking scared. As it is, I can see you are fine, even better than fine really, and I am still shaking. I can’t lose you, babe. I just can’t.” Oh, Le. I move over to the floor next to the recliner to comfort her but she throws herself into my arms and we both end up hugging it out on the floor. Charlie comes into the room, places a few water bottles on the table alongside a box of tissues, then steps back out, heading upstairs to give us privacy, just like Leanne did when we needed it.
“Le, I am so sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean… I haven’t… It’s just been so hard. I love you. You know that, right? Like I epically love you, want to have your babies, can’t live without you even if Zac the fucking idol Efron offered to whisk me away for pure sexual bliss the rest of my days, kind of love you. I’ll be a better friend, I swear.” I am squeezing her so it takes a moment for her to breathe and respond. She pushes up after we cry our hearts out.
“Gray. I’m not really mad at you. Of course none of this crazy shit is your fault. You are just the victim in this shit. I’m sorry. I’ve just been so scared and, well, you never cry Gray. Ever. And I’ve seen and heard you cry so much lately. I want to help you but… you have to let me in.”
Sitting there, on the floor of her living room, covered in salty tear streaks, I know she is right. Leanne truly is my best friend in the entire world. I can trust her, and she deserves to know the truth.
“You’re right. There is a lot I have kept from you. But, that ends tonight. You remember Petra, right?” She nods her head while blowing her nose from all the snottage we just produced in our cryfest. Handing me a tissue, she starts to wipe at her face next, as if she could actually rid herself of the horrid streaks of black marking her cheeks. It’s almost comical but, right now, I need to finish before I chicken out. She deserves to know the truth and I think I have the perfect way to show her just how much I trust her.
“Well, she knew my Grams, right? And she told me to contact her when I’m ready. She gave me a box that belonged to my Grams. She told me there were answers there that I would need. Answers about who I really am, my past, and my future. I haven’t touched it yet. I’ve been afraid. But I know now there are a great deal of things I don’t know, and I need answers. So, if you’re up for it, I’d like to find the answers. Together.” I expect h
er to ask questions since that was cryptic as fuck, but she merely stares at me with best friend love written all over her face, nodding slightly, then pulling me in for another hug.
It’s settled then. Tonight Leanne and I are going to open the box. The box that holds all the answers to my questions and probably a shit ton more questions than I know to have. Here goes nothing.
11
Gray
“Dinner was great, Mrs. S. Thank you, again, for letting us stay with you,” I smile at Leanne’s Mom as we finish straightening up the kitchen space. Charlie and Leanne are cleaning the dining room and we just loaded the dishwasher. While Mrs. S. isn’t Grams when it comes to homemade meals, she gets the job done. As if reminding me just how much of the lasagna I ate tonight, my tummy rumbles a little bit in satisfaction.
“Gray, honey, I have told you and Charlie both you need to stop thanking us. Oh sweetie,” she walks over and pulls me into a tight hug. Not one for hugging, even when it’s someone as awesome as she is, I stand stiff until she decides to release me. For a moment I imagine it was my own mother hugging me, providing love and affection to me when I need it most, but the image doesn’t last. Some things just aren’t ever going to happen, one of those being me ever seeing my mother again. I turn away to wipe the counter despite having scrubbed it clean already, just to avoid Mrs. S.’s pity. “Gray, if you ever need to talk, you know I am here for you don’t you? I can’t imagine what you are dealing with, but you are a part of this family, hun. You're not alone.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate it. I really appreciate all of it. I know Charlie does too.” I smile up at her so she knows I mean it. Mrs. S. is shorter, like her daughter, with long jet black hair that falls straight down her back. She is all warm tones with lightly tanned skin and long eyelashes that frame her dark brown eyes. She came home from work just a few hours ago, heading straight to the kitchen to prepare dinner for us, so she is still dressed in her black slacks and beige sleeveless blouse. She somehow pulls off the business woman look while giving off a sense of comfort and motherly affection. She has always been kind to me, her and Mr. S. opened their home to me from the first day Leanne drug me through the front door to introduce me.
She gives me a knowing look before hanging the towel to dry and walking out of the kitchen. I follow after her a moment later, noticing the dining room is already empty. Charlie and Leanne no doubtedly finished before we did. Heading upstairs I make a point to direct myself to Charlie’s temporary room. My palms are sweating in anticipation of going through the box tonight, but I need to check on the squirt and make sure he is okay.
I knock on the door a few times, stepping back when Charlie opens it slowly, peering out.
“Oh, it’s you,” he says, his shoulders dropping a bit.
“Uh, yeah, it’s me. Who were you expecting?” Pushing past him, I walk in and flop down on his bed. It is cold in here, though not because of the air conditioning. Without any personal touches, the room looks like it could be any one of the many motels Dean and Sam stay in as they travel the US hunting all the baddies they can find on my favorite show, Supernatural. For a moment, my mind compares the two Deans in my life. The one I have lusted after on the show for years and the one who never left my side after the fire. Well, until I forced him away. Ugh, no time for that, Gray. So many other things to deal with right now. The guys and their feelings will have to wait.
Charlie closes the door then comes to sit down next to me. “Mr. Sweeten keeps stopping by to try and talk to me. Like, I get that he is being nice and all, but I just want him to leave me alone. You know me.” And I do. Charlie is anything but chatty in the best situations. Add in personal trauma and living through hell and, well, Mr. S. might as well be talking to a brick wall. He pushes his too long hair back away from his face, twice, finally managing to uncover his eyes enough to show me just how crappy he is feeling.
“Well, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk. Just a little.” He rolls his eyes at my suggestion, flopping backward onto the bed with a grunt. “I’m serious, Char. I have Leanne and Tanner. I have Finn. Who are you talking to?” Angling my body so I can see his face better, I wait. How was it just a few weeks ago when I thought he was looking older, stronger. Now I can see how baggy his clothes are on his thinning frame. He looks more like a lost child these days. Shit. I need to do something better for him, but what? Maybe he does need to talk to someone. Professional even.
He lays there for a few more minutes, both of us in our own worlds as we contemplate how incredibly jacked up our lives are. Finally, so softly I’m not sure if I hear him or I am imagining it, he answers me.
“I talked to her. She’s gone now. I talk to you. I can’t talk to anyone else. I can’t. Not yet.”
I reach over to squeeze his hand before standing up to leave. He is just staring up at the ceiling and I know there isn’t anything I can say right now that will help anyway. This is Charlie. I guess the best I can do is make sure he knows I am here when he is ready, and I am willing to help any way I can. Before I open the door, I turn to look at him over my shoulder.
“Well, I’m still here. Always will be. You’re stuck with me, little brother. Remember that.” Teasing is most often the best approach to deal with heavy shit with him. Sure enough, I see him smirk a little before I walk out of the door, heading to the room I share with Leanne. Maybe I can see if Finn will talk to him. I know Charlie was just starting to open up to Mitch but that situation is far too complicated right now and I have too many questions that need answers before I let Charlie around the guys again.
Holy shite sandwich! Is Charlie a god too? Why am I just now really thinking about this? I have been so busy trying to separate everything going on in my life into categories: goddess who is probably going to destroy the world, lost princess with assigned babysitters, girlfriend to human guy, best friend who needs to know the truth, brother who is dealing with loss and trauma… oh yeah, and I have some powers and shit that lets me heal myself and bring people to life or something but to be honest I’m just nowhere near ready to process that last one. The reality is, though, that I am just one person. As much as I want to keep everything in its own little bubble, all of these things are my life. And Charlie’s. Damn, I am going to have to talk to the guys whether I want to or not. For Charlie’s sake, if nothing else.
Stumbling into the bedroom, Leanne is already situated criss-cross applesauce on her floor, bouncing in anticipation. Oh right, the box. Gah! One extreme to another. Okay, give it a few days, then get to sorting all of this out and figuring out a way to be all of these things I am supposed to be. I just need some time.
Focusing back on the task at hand, and my nervous looking roommate, I walk over to grab my pjs off the dresser. Might as well get comfortable. Leanne is already dressed in her matching pink and white polka dot top and bottom set with her fuzzy slippers on. Add in the neon bright strips of fuschia in her short hair and she sort of looks like candy. I laugh a bit as I step into the bathroom to change, my oversized tee and sweat shorts a stark contrast to Le’s attire, but I am comfy as hell so I could care less.
“Oh my god, Gray! Just hurry up already and get your stalling ass out here!” Chuckling louder now, I open the bathroom door, giving Leanne a good dramatic eye roll, before retrieving the box Petra had given me from the bottom drawer of the dresser I am using.
“Keep your panties on,” I snark at her. “I needed to change.” I stick my tongue out at her and she just rolls her eyes back at me. Sitting on the oversized bean bag in the corner, to the left of where Leanne has herself seated, I lay the box on the ground at my feet. She goes to lift the lid off but I reach out my hand to stop her.
“Before we do this, there are some things I need to tell you. A lot of things. Some of them are going to seem really insane. Like really insane, Le. But, I need you to trust me. To trust that I’m not fucking with you and that as totally ridiculous as it all sounds, I would never lie to you. This is all real. Terrifyingly loony, bu
t real. Okay?” I have no idea what is in that box but, based on the way the lady in that voodoo shop acted before I passed out earlier, I imagine it has to do with the revelations the guys dropped in my lap yesterday. I must be more nervous than I thought because I catch myself wrapping my hands into my shirt, pulling tightly at the material.
“Gray, you’re really fucking scaring me right now. Like, of course I will believe whatever you say. You’re my best friend. But seriously, what the hell is so bad you’re going full Girl Interrupted right in front of me?” Her eyes are practically bulging out of her head and I need to bring myself down about fifty-seven levels if I am going to get through this without sending her running and screaming throughout the house. She may think she can handle whatever it is, but whether or not that is true is going to depend on how well I deliver the news. I take a few deep breaths, followed by a few more, and place my hands in my lap gently.
Guess there is really only one way to get started. Thanks Reid.
“I ignited.”
Leanne looks at me, her face twisted in a look of confusion, eyebrows raised just slightly.
“The fuck does that mean? Is that like code for pregnant or something because I swear to God, Gray, if that boy has gotten you pregnant before you even tell me you had sex I will never forgive you! I mean, seriously? You told me you’ve had some pretty epic lip-action and got all tingly in your girl parts and shit but you never said you did the dirty sideways tango! I may never speak to you again!” She crosses her arms in anger, the now intensely pissed off glare she wears sending conflicting vibes thanks to her cutesie pjs. I know she is beyond angry right now but, pregnant? I laugh. A full belly laugh, tears in my eyes, pain-staking guffaw.