Igniting the Flame (The Ignited Girl Series Book 2)

by EJ Everette

  “I know, love. I am here to help you, my little minx. I did not want you to have to do this alone.” He pulls back enough to look into my eyes, probably all watered down because crying in my happy spot is apparently a thing. Lame ass happy spot if you ask me. I see determination in his eyes and I nod in agreement. Honestly I have literally no fucking idea what I am doing, having brought Charlie back with Mom’s help and only ever healing myself, so I am glad he is here.

  “Let’s get started. We don’t have long and I can feel Reid breaking into pieces.” I wipe my face before letting Rip take my hand to lead me over to a small grassy knoll I hadn’t noticed when I arrived. We sit next to each other, our bodies facing, and Rip laces our fingers together in between us.

  “I need you to focus on your energy. You have quite a bit of control of it already which surprises me and I have many questions for you, but they will have to wait. Now, you have to believe in yourself. I can offer you guidance, but from everything I have read, this entire process is based on you, love. You can do this, I have seen it, but you have to shake off all those doubts I see on your face right now and know without a doubt you have the power within you to bring me back. Can you do that?” His voice is soft, gently guiding me, but his words sting as I realize I had been sitting here thinking just that. I can’t do this. I am not ready. Too much depends on just me, Gray. I’m nothing.

  “Stop that! You are something. You are everything.” Shit, I must have said that out loud, but his stern voice pulls me back from my downward spiral. I can’t afford doubt right now. I can do this. I have healed myself over and over again. I brought Charlie back. I know how to siphon the energy I need now, I just have to figure out how to use it.

  “Okay,” I sit taller, nodding at him that I am ready. “I can do this. I can feel my energy already close to the surface, what do I do next? I don’t think it is enough.” As much of a boost that demon had given me when I siphoned from him, I could tell my jar-thingy wasn’t quite full and I have a feeling I will need it overflowing to pull this off.

  “Remember the night of the fire. Think back. I know you try to avoid it, but I need you to remember when you brought Charlie back. When you pulled from us for the first time.”

  Stop. That’s what that was? Had I siphoned from the guys that night without even realizing it? I let my mind go back to when I kneeled next to Char just like I am kneeling next to Rip in reality. The guys had all come and placed their hands on me while Mom’s voice guided me. Had I really taken energy from them then? Holy shit.

  “I… I had no idea that’s what I was doing,” I confess. Images of me draining the lifeforce from the pugger demon flash in front of me and I pull back from Rip. No. If I use the guys’ energy, I can’t guarantee I’ll stop myself from draining them, too. If that vision demon hadn’t gotten free from me earlier I wouldn’t have stopped, I could feel it. There is no way I am risking the guys’ lives. I can’t trust myself.

  “You can trust me, Gray. I will not let anything happen to you. None of us will.” Rip may think he is reassuring me, but he doesn’t realize the enemy here is me. I’m the one who can’t be trusted. Can I tell him? No. He would never forgive me. None of them would. They’d see the monster inside of me and run for the hills and I don’t think I can physically survive losing them at this point.

  “It’s not you I’m worried about,” I mumble. Shit, how do I do this without involving the guys?

  “Can I… can I do this on my own? Without you all?” If I can channel enough energy to do this by myself, I won’t risk them and I can still bring Rip back.

  “Actually, no. It is partially due to our bond that you are able to restore life. You can heal yourself and I imagine each of us on your own, but you need your bonded to pull this off. They will not mind, love. They know it is part of who they are and will aid you willingly.”

  I’m going to have to tell him. I can’t see any other choice in the matter. Fuck. I’m so not ready for this, but am I willing to risk Rip’s life to keep my darkness hidden? No. No I’m not.

  “I’m evil,” I blurt out. Well, as smooth transitions go, that confession was as bumpy as a backwoods dirty road after a rainstorm.

  Rip looks at me intently, so much love and understanding in his eyes. He shakes his head gently, a small smile lifting the edges of his perfect lips. Who smiles after hearing their beloved princess has turned to the dark side. Damn it's like my own version of Star Wars where Leia is tempted by the darkness instead of Luke. FML.

  “My gorgeous perfect goddess, you can never be evil. I can see your soul. We are linked in more ways than you can ever possibly imagine. And, I have seen your future, glimpses of it anyway. You are destined for so much greatness, Grayelle of Moriah. Whatever you are thinking, whatever your fear, trust me. We will not let you go dark, ever. You have my word. We are bound to protect you, heart, soul, and body, and we will. Trust us, trust yourself, and trust your destiny.”

  I want to believe him, I really and truly do, but something keeps me from buying into everything he said. It was beautiful, lifting my heart levels above the pit it had been in seconds before, but I am not completely convinced. Still, I need to focus on saving him now and we can work on the rest later. I will have to tell all of them about what happened in the dungeon eventually, but if I can just hold on enough to get through this one thing, this hugely important thing, we can deal with that when we get there.

  Taking another deep calming breath, I pull all of my doubts aside, releasing them with my exhale. Rip seems to understand my change, his hands tightening around mine, as he speaks.

  “Focus, Gray. Tap into your energy, let it fill every inch of your mind, course through your veins, and center you. When you open your eyes, I want you to let the guys come to you, pull from them, and channel everything you have into restoring. Think of the light moments in your life, the brightest points of happiness, and let them consume us both. Okay? Are you ready, princess? You can do this. Believe.”

  I nod my head, inhaling one more lungful before I open my eyes on the exhale to see I am back in the small meadow next to the park where we all gather around Rip and Reid. One of my hands reaches out, resting on Reid’s shoulder, triggering the guys to react as one, replicating my action. My left hand stays on Rip and once I feel all of us connected, using Reid as a sort of grounding place, I focus on my own energy first. Reaching inside, I tip the jar and watch as the golden lava that is my power pours out everywhere within me. I feel my body warm, my arms and hands heating to a nearly painful temperature at the use of so much at once. The flames I am accustomed to light up all over me, shocking Reid a bit at first but when he realizes they will not harm his brother, he returns to his statue demeanor.

  Trust yourself, Gray. You won’t give in. You won’t harm them. Take only what you need. You have to learn to let yourself be strong. See the beauty inside of yourself. You care about these guys even more than you are ready to admit. You will save them all, protect them as they protect you. Now, bring your guardian back.

  I chant this over and over in my head as I slowly begin to siphon power from the men connected to me. None of them block me, instead I feel a surge of energy as they all push their strength towards me at once. Flames now flicker over everything, my entire body as well as Rip’s. I shut my eyes closed again, letting myself focus on all of the wonderful bright moments like I did with Charlie that night.

  I think about the first time I saw Mom in my dream. The joy of getting to talk to her, be with her, after so much time apart. I think of her smile, how it lit up her entire face the first time I successfully healed myself, pride causing her to glow. I never thought I’d get to have those moments with her. Never thought I would ever get the chance to show her how much I love her. I remember her face, too, when she practically glowed telling me the story of when she first met dad. She looked so young, so happy, just picturing him in her own mind. I had never seen someone look so in love before and it stuck with me hard. Finally, I see Mom when
she appeared to me in physical form. She was even more beautiful in person and the feeling of her hands on my face, my shoulders, holding me… The moment she gave me everything she had left, sacrificed it all to save me…

  “Light from my life

  Peace from my soul

  Strength from my heart

  These things impart.”

  The chant Mom taught me the night I saved Charlie comes from my lips naturally, her smile still the only thing in my mind as I push everything the guys are giving me directly into Rip. Over and over I send waves of strength, restoration, love, and power into my fallen guardian. He will come back. We can do this. The flames burn much hotter now, nearly unbearable to me but the guys don’t move, even if they feel it too.

  “Come on Rip. Come back to me.” I whisper the words out gently, so soft I’m not even sure they left my mouth. With everything I have left, I cut myself off from the guys, already feeling the pull to keep going and gather their energy into me. I pull my hand from Reid’s shoulder, the limb feeling as if it weighs a few tons instead of the feather lite stick that it is. The minute the link is broken, I feel everyone react. Unable to hold myself up any longer, I collapse onto Rip, praying to whoever may be listening that it worked. That I didn’t lose yet another person who means something to me. Then, as is my new norm, the fire recedes back into my body and darkness takes me away with it.

  36

  Gray

  When I awake, strong arms are holding me tightly against them, the sensation of moving back and forth like I am on a boat somewhere startles me. Heavy waves of sadness move through the connection I share with the guys and my heart fucking breaks all over again. It didn’t work. I failed. No. I stiffen and the body currently wrapped around me does the same.

  “Gray?” Chance’s voice is so hard to make out through the tears. “Gray are you… oh thank fuck you are alive.” Someone squeezes me so tightly I almost stop breathing before hands are all over me. I open my eyes to see all of my guardians staring at me with so much anxiety and relief. All of them. Next to Chance, right next to his brother whose arms I am currently bound in, Rip is smiling at me, tears staining his face as they have everyone else’s.

  “Rip. Rip, you’re alive! I felt everyone’s grief and I thought you were gone. I thought… I thought I had failed you.” I move to leave Reid’s embrace but he continues to hold me, rocking our joined bodies back and forth again, explaining the boat feeling when I woke.

  “Silly girl, of course it worked. I told you it would.” Rip reaches down to run his hand down my cheek, cupping my chin briefly, before backing away.

  “Yeah it worked, but your fucking heart stopped beating the second he woke up. You just fell onto him, he started moving, and when we tried to wake you…” Dean runs his hand down his face, his long fingers wiping away at the tears still slowly sliding from his swollen eyes.

  “Wait, what? I died?” Holy shit. That’s new.

  “Not exactly,” Rip explains. “You just needed a few minutes for your energy to restore and it, well, it scared the shit out of all of us. For a moment, we all felt your loss as you all had felt mine. It was intense, love, but you were not really dead. Just drained.”

  Okay, no zombie Gray, so that’s good. But that whole heart stopping sounds so scary. “Do you think that will always happen? I don’t remember my heart stopping after Charlie. Did it?” They exchange looks, all shaking their head indicating this whole almost dying thing is just as unexpected for them.

  Reid still grips me, our bodies moving back and forth, his chin resting on the top of my head.

  “Umm, Reid. Can you let me up? Please.”

  “I doubt that will happen anytime soon, doll. The minute we realized you were, well you had stopped breathing and shit, Reid lost the very last bit of control he was holding on to. Even seeing his brother alive and well did nothing to stop him from spiraling. I have been trying to get a read on him, but his barriers are up, grief being the only thing he is allowing me to feel from him. Honestly, he may not even realize you are alive right now.” Mitch’s face is grim, concern for his brother evident in his voice.

  “Well I sure as hell did not go through all of that to bring back one twin just to lose the other. How do we, I don’t know, snap him out of it?”

  Mitch reaches for my hand to pull me from Reid’s arms. It takes a bit of maneuvering but eventually I am freed from the catatonic man still shifting around on the grassy ground beside me. I look to the guys for help, but seeing as how I am the one who broke him, I suppose I have to be the one to fix him. This should be interesting. Before I do anything, though, I step up to Rip and wrap my arms around him in the best damn hug I have ever given anyone ever. He is alive! I did it! We did it! He returns my embrace after a moment, as if he wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but that is fine. I’m enjoying just feeling his heart beat soundly in his chest as my head presses against it. I let a few tears slide down my nose, before I pull back from him. Our eyes meet, our shared experience, something unique between only us, fresh in my mind.

  “Okay, let’s get your brother back with us, shall we?” Reluctantly I release him, turning to his twin who has yet to even speak since I woke up. Damn, I have seen this a few times and it is never good. A few of the kids I have been in homes with over the years eventually hit this point in their abuse where they shut down completely, sometimes not speaking or moving for an entire day or more. I had a similar experience the first time I heard Charlie’s screaming in the night after we got to Grams’ house. I knew that kind of pain and the reality that my little brother had suffered as much as I had to experience it sent me over the edge. It was only my need to protect Char that brought me out of it.

  Let’s hope the same type of motivation works for my Joker. I plop down on the grass beside him. Rip leads the other guys back away from us a bit, giving me space. Here goes nothing.

  “Hey hun, it’s Gray. You in there?” My voice is weak even to my own ears so I clear my throat and try again. “Reid, hey it’s me. It’s Gray. I’m right here. Can you look at me?” Still nothing. Shit. Okay, umm, what else… “Hey there Joker, it’s your wifey. You have to wake up or else we can’t be engaged any more. Gotta have a functional fiance, you know.” My joke falls flat, lame as ever, eliciting not even the slightest twitch from Reid.

  Right now I wish I had Mitch or Dean’s ability to get into his mind a bit. Wait, that’s it. I wonder… Using only the slightest bit of my very sapped energy, I attempt to pull some extra strength from the earth around me. I lay my hands flat on the ground until I feel the small surges start to travel up my arms and into my little jar-thingy. Damn that feels good. Okay, energy restored, check. Now for the hard part. If I can heal mortal wounds, bring someone back from the dead, and stitch myself up, surely I can heal someone’s mind, right? Even just a little?

  I place my hands on Reid’s chest, hoping he will just snap out of it at my touch, but no such luck. Closing my eyes, I push some of the new energy into my sweet guardian, searching for where he is hurt the most. The flames begin to dance on my skin, surprisingly gathering around Reid’s chest. Of course! His mind isn’t broken, just his heart. Oh, Reid. Knowing it will take more than just some energy to heal his shattered heart, I add a little bit of my own emotion into it. This time, instead of happiness, I send him love. Warmth floods me at the change in emotion, but I continue to send him all I can. How much I love his smile. How his constant laughter makes my heart happy in the darkest times.

  It only takes a few seconds of me pumping loving warmth for my Joker to come back to me. His body relaxes, his breathtaking green eyes find mine, and he breathes in deeply.

  “Welcome back,” I smile at the relief and joy on his face. I expect him to say something, but after flicking his eyes around to take in the rest of the guys, including his brother, Reid lifts us both off the ground in one swift motion. Before I can react, he is spinning us around in circles, laughter coming from him caressing my heart and replacing litt
le pieces of my broken soul with happiness.

  “You are literally everything, you know that, right?” After setting me down, he is still grinning like a silly boy, but his words catch me off guard. There is so much sincerity in them, so much emotion. He truly means it. My barriers instantly want to go up, to block out this intrusion of friendship, of companionship, but I stop them. Mom told me I had to learn to love, to let others love me, and to trust these guys.

  “Everything and a bag of chips, you mean,” I snark, eliciting an even bigger grin from my goofy Joker. “Speaking of chips, I’m starving. I need to see Charlie and eat. Then sleep for like a month. In that order.” Turning to look at the rest of my guardians it dawns on me just how much we have all been through, how much they did for me.

  “Thank you isn’t enough, but I don’t really know what else to say. Thank you, for coming for me. Chance,” the brooding blonde looks over at me, his eyes meeting mine, “I didn’t say it before, but thank you for following me. I know you did. I don’t know how I know, but you chose to come in after me, and I…” my voice catches in my throat, the words no longer making their way out. Chance seems to think on it for a second before gently pushing past the others and walking up to me.

  “I will always come after you, Gray. Always.” His deep voice brings shivers down my spine and then he is hugging me. Oh mylanta, a Chance hug might just be heaven. His bare chest is fabulous for sure, but the certainty I feel from him behind it is the best. Slowly but surely, this big grumpy asshole is coming around. We remain in our warm embrace until Mitch speaks up behind Chance.

  “Uh, I hate to ruin your moment, but I don’t think we can go straight back to your house yet, doll.” Unwillingly, I pull back from Chance to lock eyes with the man who thinks he is going to keep me from seeing my brother.