by C. J. Miller
Putting on their jackets they stepped outside. The air was dry and cold and Gemma pulled her hands into the sleeves of her coat.
“Gemma, I know I come across like a tyrant sometimes. I am doing my best.”
She wasn’t in the mood to talk about work. Rafe had turned her on and those emotions persisted. Couldn’t they talk about that? “You can do your best without being rude to the people around you.”
“I don’t mean to be rude.” He appeared ashamed. Or was the pink in his cheeks the cold?
“Then what do you mean?” she asked.
“I mean to keep you safe. I hate that you’re working in that lab with that virus, one that we know could kill you if you were exposed.”
Just her? The entire staff was at risk. “Same goes for you.”
Rafe shook his head. “With the exception of Danny, I don’t have people counting on me. You have your brothers and this town. They need you.”
He sounded disgusted when he said “this town.”
She wanted to refute his words and tell him that she needed him. But speaking the words would have cost her too much. She wasn’t ready to let him know how badly she wanted him. Even if it was an attraction-only thing, a one-time experience, she wanted Rafe in her bed. She wanted him to look at her like he had looked at other girls in high school, a look that promised pure pleasure.
“Now you’re cold,” Rafe said. He put his arms around her and pulled her against his jacket.
“I needed to cool down,” Gemma said. She slipped her arm around his waist, feeling the tightness of his back. He was in good shape.
A laugh rumbled in his chest and then Rafe did the most unexpected thing. He tipped her mouth up to his and kissed her.
Softly, gently on her mouth. No feverish, frantic, desperate hunger, but the impact was thoroughly arousing. A shower of sparks ignited around them and her surrender was immediate. She let her body sink against his and his arms went around her waist.
Gemma wanted this to go on forever. His mouth explored hers and this kiss was more potent than she had imagined. She was his in every sense of the word, and all from a kiss.
Having their coats between them frustrated her. She wanted bare skin and his big body over hers, sinking into her. Her insides clenched with longing, and heat pooled between her legs.
He could have pushed her up against the wall of the clinic and stripped her naked, and she wouldn’t have stopped him.
He pulled away first and stared at her. It was the look she had dreamed about being on the receiving end of a hundred times before and it was so much better. She read possessiveness, heat and desire in his expression.
“Why did you stop?”
Rafe ran his thumb across her lip. “I needed to do that. I’ve been thinking about doing that for far too long.”
“It wasn’t enough,” she said, not embarrassed by her words. If she’d learned one thing in a relationship, it was that she had to ask for what she needed.
“Not enough?” Brown eyes met hers in question.
“If that was a sample of what this could be, more will be better.”
Rafe’s eyes lit with excitement. “I never imagined I would hear those words from your mouth.”
“You went away from this town and came back a changed man. I might not be the woman you knew either,” Gemma said, feeling bold.
“Flint will kick my butt for kissing his little sister and I think I just made a colossal mistake. Kissing you is one thing. Not doing it again is another.”
“Then let’s go inside and finish our shift. Then come home with me.”
Rafe jammed a hand through his hair. “I didn’t bring you out here to kiss you. I thought we needed to calm down.”
“It didn’t work.”
“Clearly,” Rafe said. “But this can’t happen again, Gemma. You’re Flint and Theo’s sister.”
“That means I can’t have sex?” For the first time in a long time, Gemma wished her small town innocent reputation would disappear.
Rafe seemed flustered. “I’m sure you’ve had sex. Plenty of it. Look at you. How could you not have men pounding down your door? But even as I’m saying this to you, I’m realizing I shouldn’t be included in that. I’m not good for you, Gemma. You deserve better.”
* * *
Kissing Gemma had driven home the idea of having sex with her and unless he was misreading her, she was offering it to him on a silver platter.
Go home with her? Hell yes, he wanted to. Rafe wanted to strip her out of her loose scrubs and touch her everywhere. He wanted to use his hands and his mouth on her and make her come until she screamed his name. He wanted her on her back, on her knees and on top of him. The Gemma Wish List was long and getting dirtier by the minute.
But how could he think of her that way? She was Gemma. Resident good girl. Sweet.
She indicated she wasn’t a virgin and of course he didn’t expect her to be, but thinking of her in another man’s arms was driving him insane.
After their rounds, which had a sobering effect on his libido, they returned to his trashed office to review their notes. His replacement computer was working, although it was old and slow. They hadn’t recovered his other one after the break-in.
He waited for the patient records application to load.
“Who was it? Josh Hadaway?” The EMT was handsome and single, as far as Rafe knew.
“Who was what?” Gemma asked.
Was he having this conversation with her? “You dated men in the past. Men I know?”
Gemma shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Are you trying to make me jealous?”
Gemma straightened. “Not at all. I pointed out to you that I am a woman and I have had boyfriends. You seemed confused by the idea that I would...” She blushed and looked away.
Her behavior now was more what he had expected. Her boldness outside the clinic, while surprising, had utterly aroused him. “That you would have sex?”
“Yes, that,” Gemma said.
Rafe rubbed his eyes. “You’re a surprise, Gemma. I knew you were smart and sweet, but you’re stronger and sexier than I realized.”
She smiled. “It’s taken me awhile to move out from my brothers’ shadows. They’re larger than life. It’s hard to grow up with them hovering.”
“They still hover,” Rafe said. Maybe their hovering would keep him from doing something monumentally stupid, like sleeping with her.
“Not as much,” Gemma said.
The software loaded and Rafe turned his attention to the computer. Gemma circled the desk to look over his shoulder. She leaned on his chair and her hip brushed his arm.
He closed his eyes against the assault of sensations. Her scent, light like jasmine, her ponytail swinging off her shoulder and brushing his neck.
“Are you doing that on purpose?” he asked, not sure he could resist. From the time they had started working together, they’d had an unspoken, understated chemistry. Now that they had brought it out in the open, it seemed to sharpen and strengthen.
“Doing what?” she asked. Her green eyes danced with amusement.
He would teach her to play with fire. If he showed her the man he was, she would back away. Gemma was too innocent, despite her assertions she’d dated.
Rafe stood and pushed her against the wall. He watched her face for a sign of fear. She didn’t look afraid. She looked turned on.
He pushed her feet apart and positioned his hips between hers. “Don’t toy with me, Gemma.”
Gemma set her hands on his shirt and he anticipated she would shove him away. Instead, she held him close. “I am not toying with you. You don’t seem to know what you want.”
“I am not interested in a girlfriend.”
Gemma blinked, but she didn’t look a
way. “I don’t need a boyfriend.”
“Are you suggesting colleagues with benefits?” he asked.
She pressed her hips into his and rocked slowly. “I am suggesting that we see where this goes before telling ourselves it won’t work.”
Now that she was calling his bluff, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t like backing down. “This will interfere with our work.”
“Stop making excuses,” Gemma said.
Rafe bought his mouth to hers and kissed her in shameless abandon. He slid his hands to her waist and then under her shirt, his hands lingering at the bare skin of her taut midriff. He lifted her, to better align his body with hers.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and he had a preview of exactly how he planned to have sex with her the first time.
“You’re holding back,” Gemma said.
He was keeping his emotions in check. He wouldn’t strip her naked in his office and have sex with her here. “We’re in my office.” If they had sex now, it would be off the table and out of their system.
The phone rang and stopped Rafe from taking this further.
Rafe set Gemma down and answered the phone. It was food delivery from the Blue Bear. Since the break-in, they’d started keeping the clinic doors locked. All patients, visitors and deliveries had to be buzzed inside.
“I’ll meet you out front,” Rafe said to the delivery person.
After gathering the food, he and Gemma sorted it and loaded it onto the food cart to be delivered to their patients.
Once Gemma had left to complete the task, Rafe was alone. Mercifully alone. He had to stop thinking about the feel of Gemma pressed against him.
He opened the spreadsheet he was using to track their patients’ symptoms. He needed to determine which observations were relevant to the virus and which were unrelated.
Gram Dottie, Gemma’s grandmother, was sick with the Dead River virus, but she also had arthritis in her knees and hands. The arthritis, as far as he knew, was not related to the virus, but he was looking for complications that could arise so he could head them off.
He was relying on his instincts, observations and experience. The likelihood of missing a warning sign was high and Rafe didn’t want any more patients to die.
He had books that Dr. Goodhue had brought with her and he had access to the CDC databases. He was doing some cross-checking, hoping that somewhere else in the world, another clinician was dealing with the same virus and had found a cure.
Rafe had complicated matters by kissing Gemma. Twice. Blaming the pressure or the stress was nonsense. He lived with pressure and stress every day of his life. He had no one to blame for the decision to kiss her but himself.
Now, it occupied far too much of his thoughts. Her responses to him tonight had been like nothing he would have expected from Gemma. She was beautiful and intelligent, but had never been so overtly sensual. Her words, her body language and her tone had given him a glimpse into how hot it would be to sleep with her.
He didn’t need another reason to consider it.
Gemma Colton had always appealed to him on some deep, primal level, but she’d always been too good for him. Too beautiful. Too smart. Too pure. Too everything. He’d been the boy from the trailer park without a future and nothing to offer a woman.
He’d run into people from high school who hadn’t aged well. Women and men who had been beaten by life and seemed haggard, tired and used. Not Gemma. She was as fresh-faced as she was in high school and the traits she’d added to her list of good qualities—supportive, independent and honest—appealed to him.
This wasn’t a school-boy crush. When he looked at her, he saw a vibrant and remarkable woman.
Gemma returned with two brown bags. She set one on his desk. “It’s a gourmet hamburger. Eat. Please.”
She opened another across from him.
“Thanks, Gemma.” He was hungry and maybe food would take the edge off.
Gemma wiped her mouth and took a drink. “Before the lab was trashed, we were thinking the virus could be some mutation of the flu, stronger, more lethal. Any more thoughts on that?” She seemed to be directing the conversation away from what had happened before the phone call and Rafe let her.
“I’m not ruling it out,” Rafe said. “If we can classify the virus, we can look at similar ones and how a cure was manufactured.”
“We haven’t found an exact match, but why don’t we review the viruses that are close and see if anything else jumps out at us?” Gemma asked.
It was as good a technique as any. The more they studied this virus, the more likely they’d find ones similar and close in on a cure.
Dr. Lucas Rand appeared in his doorway and Rafe’s appetite flattened. Dr. Rand’s accusations of Danny rubbed Rafe the wrong way. “Chief Colton doesn’t seem to be making any progress on apprehending the person responsible for the problems we’ve had.”
“Flint is doing everything he can,” Gemma said, sounding defensive.
Dr. Rand sniffed. “Maybe his best isn’t good enough.”
Rafe sensed Dr. Rand would push Gemma too far. “Have you reviewed our lab notes?” Rafe asked.
Dr. Rand shook his head. “I haven’t had time. Since my attack, my head is throbbing.”
“Take an ibuprofen,” Rafe said.
Dr. Rand chuckled. “I am a doctor. I know how to treat a headache.”
“Some headaches go beyond medical treatment,” Rafe said. He looked at Rand for an extra beat. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Rafe considered him an enemy.
Gemma lowered her head to cover her smile.
Rafe knew he was being hostile with Dr. Rand, but he was angry at his false accusation and his inability to admit that he could have been mistaken about Danny being his attacker. How much could he have seen in a few brief seconds?
Dr. Rand stood taller. “I’ll review your notes after my meeting with Dr. Goodhue. We’re meeting for a late dinner at the diner.” He left and Rafe closed the door.
“That guy gets under my skin,” Rafe said.
Gemma set down her hamburger. “This is a tough situation for everyone. I know you’re feeling protective of Danny and we’re tired and stressed out—”
“Gemma, stop. You don’t have to play peacemaker.”
“I wasn’t playing anything.”
“It’s okay not to get along with everyone.”
Gemma inclined her head. “I want everyone working together to find a cure. There are no leaders or followers here. Just everyone doing everything we can. You think it doesn’t bother me that he blames Theo for what happened with Mimi?”
“I’m sure it does.” Rafe had heard bits and pieces from rumors, Theo and Flint. After Dr. Rand and Mimi had divorced, Theo had slept with Mimi, and their one-night affair had resulted in a baby. From what Theo had said, he hadn’t known Mimi was pregnant until she’d shown up with baby Amelia.
“It doesn’t matter if it bothers me. I have to get over it. If we let problems fester between us, it will be that much harder.”
She’d made the point he’d been thinking about. “Problems. Like sleeping with a colleague?”
Gemma gave him a long look. She picked up her hamburger and strode to the doorway. “You’re good at that, Rafe. Pushing people away. Just be careful. You push everyone away and you’ll end up a lonely, old and bitter man.”
Chapter 4
Gemma would rather eat alone while she sorted files and folders behind the reception desk than eat with Rafe. He said he knew what he wanted and maybe in his career he did.
When it came to her, he was sending mixed signals. She hated the confusion that came along with it.
Had she been too forward with Rafe? He had told her to speak her mind and she had. Ever since she had left Dead River for nursing
school and had a taste of freedom, she had learned she liked kissing men. She liked sex, most forms of it. She was willing to try things with a trusted partner and she didn’t need to be ashamed of it.
That persona seemed to be at odds with the person she had been in high school, when Gemma hadn’t even kissed a boy. She hadn’t been asked to a school dance. She hadn’t gone to prom. Her grandmother had told her that her brothers had frightened away possible suitors, but the more likely reason was that she just hadn’t known how to talk to boys, how to flirt, and with her father abandoning her family, she carried an inherent distrust of men.
While that distrust was often present at the start of a relationship, she wouldn’t lose her ability to trust because of the men who had disappointed her.
She could trust Rafe, couldn’t she? He had always made her feel safe.
Rafe hadn’t wanted her to play peacemaker between him and Dr. Rand. Was that what she had been doing? Theo and Flint had often accused her of taking on that same role between them. They’d fight and she’d jump in the middle of it. Her grandmother and her father—when he bothered to show up—would fight and Gemma would try to smooth the problems over.
It was who she was. It was better when everyone got along. Doctors were competitive. Nurses were sometimes, too. Doctors, in the struggle to be placed in the right job at the right hospital, needed the conflict and the competition to propel them.
An alarm blared, the shrill sound of a problem in the virus wing. They had practiced drills for a patient going into distress, for a breach in the ventilation system and for other emergencies. Which was it?
Gemma met Rafe in the suit room and they hurried to pull on their protective gear. As she zipped her suit, she imagined what they would face on the other side of those doors.
Before they opened the doors, Rafe grabbed her hand. He wanted to hold hands now?
“Your glove,” he said.
Gemma looked down at her hand. In her hurry, the seam of her glove had torn. His attention to detail might have saved her life. “Thank you. Go on without me. I’ll fix it and be with you in a minute.”
She hurried to put on another pair of gloves and reseal her suit. She entered the double enclosure and then when the second doors released, she entered the virus wing.