“Beautiful,” Tom said. Then a thought came to him, and he grinned. “He’d better not get around that camp of ours. He’d find himself roasting over a fire somewhere.”
Sarah sat on a fallen log. She looked up at him, and the sun flickering through the green foliage overhead fell on her with an amber light. Her dark hair and dark blue eyes were beautiful. He studied her oval face, noting again the beautiful creamy complexion.
“Was it very bad?” she asked gently. “The fighting?”
“Yes, terrible,” Tom said frankly. He sat down beside her, picked up a stick, and began to draw a pattern on the ground. “I thought I knew what to expect, but it wasn’t anything like that.” He began to tell her a little of the horrors of battle, of the men that fell like bundles, the screaming of the wounded, the crying out for water. Finally, he tossed the stick away and turned to face her. “It’s the most terrible thing in the world, war. I wish I didn’t have to go back to it.”
Sarah reached out and took his hand.
She was not a demonstrative girl, and this surprised him. But her eyes were intent as she whispered, “I wish you didn’t have to go back at all, Tom. I wish there wasn’t any war, and things were back like they were when we were younger.”
“That was a simple time, wasn’t it?” He was very conscious of her hand on his, and he caught the scent of violets, which she always wore. Without thinking he reached over and pulled her forward.
It was a natural thing to do to kiss her on the lips, and she clung to him for a moment.
“Oh, Tom,” she whispered, “will we ever be able to have each other like we’ve always planned?”
“One day.” He held her close and ran his hand down her silky black hair, the blackest hair possible, and then held her out at arms’ length. “One day,” he said, “it’ll be over. Then we can get married.”
She bit her lip, and he saw that she was not far from tears. “I try to think like that, Tom. Then I think about Royal and about you and your father and Jeff, about thousands and thousands of young men just like you. And sometimes it seems like there’s no hope.”
He pulled her close again and held her. The quiet ran on for a long time. Finally, he drew back and sighed. “Some day it’ll be different. But until then, we’ll just do what we have to do.”
Sarah brushed her eyes with her hands. “Come on,” she said, “let’s go back to the house. I’m going to make one of those squash casseroles you like so well—and anything else you want to eat.”
“That’s the way I like to hear you talk.” Tom grinned. The moment had passed, but as they returned to the house he knew that there was a sadness in him that was tied up with the doubts that the war had brought. It’ll be a long, long time before I can have this girl, he thought. A thousand things could happen. I could get killed or even wounded so badly I couldn’t ask her to marry me.
When he saw Jeff sitting on the front steps playing with Esther, he breathed a little prayer. Lord, you’ve brought us this far, now take us the rest of the way.
17
We Just Have
to Believe God
Jeff, I can’t believe you’re really here.”
Jeff grinned self-consciously as Leah came up to him. He thought for a moment that she meant to throw her arms around him. Then she must have seen her parents smiling—and Tom and Sarah as well.
Awkwardly he put out his hand. “Why, it’s good to see you again, Leah!”
Leah took the hand he held out and held on to it. Her eyes were on his face. “You’re so brown!” she exclaimed. “And I declare, I believe you’ve grown taller! Isn’t he taller, Pa?”
“I think he is, Pet.” Her father smiled. He looked tired, for the trip had been wearing—but he was obviously glad to see the two boys. “Let me get some of this dust knocked off of me, then I’ll tell you about your pa.”
His wife led him off, asking about his trip, and Leah looked down at herself. She was wearing a pair of faded overalls, which would have been very comfortable on the trail, but now she seemed embarrassed to be dressed in such old clothes. She said, “Let me go wash up too, Jeff.” She could not resist squeezing his arm and saying, “I’m so glad you’re here!”
She ran lightly away, and as her footsteps echoed on the stairs, Jeff gave another self-conscious look toward Tom and Sarah.
“Well, what are you two laughing about?” he demanded, his face growing rosy. “I don’t see anything funny.”
Sarah took pity on him. “We’re just happy to see Pa and Leah,” she said quickly.
Tom, taking the hint, agreed. “Yes, that’s it. It’s good to see them both.”
Thirty minutes later the men were all sitting at the table preparing to eat the meal that Mrs. Carter had put together—baked ham, potato salad, corn-bread, fresh onions, and two loaves of freshly baked bread.
When the food was on the table, she went to the landing and called up, “Leah, get yourself down here. These men are starving to death.”
“That girl’s going to be late for the resurrection,” her father said, but he smiled. “I don’t think I could’ve made it without her. She’s got enough energy for any two girls I ever saw.” He continued to talk about how well Leah had done as they followed the troops. At the sound of her footsteps in the foyer, he looked up and urged, “Come on in, daughter—” and then he stopped abruptly.
Everyone turned to look and discovered that the dusty girl in overalls had disappeared.
“Well,” Tom said, “who is this young lady? I don’t believe I’ve ever met her before.” He winked at Sarah, who smiled back.
Leah had put on her best dress, something she usually wore only as Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes. She wore a deep green, cotton sateen dress with bands of satin ribbon stitched into place with white silk thread. A pair of fine black shoes that she had been saving for a special occasion peeked out from under her skirt. Her fine, blonde hair was parted in the middle, and the curls were pulled to the side from the center part. They curled in front of her ears, giving her a rather saucy look. The hairstyle made her eyes seem larger, and it appeared she had borrowed some of Sarah’s rice powder for her face.
Now that she was the target of every eye, she suddenly blushed. “Well, I don’t know what you’re all staring at! Can’t a girl get dressed up every once in a while?”
Tom grinned at her. “You look fine, Leah, just fine.” He couldn’t resist adding, “If you drop dead, we won’t have to do a thing to you except stick a lily in your hand.”
“Tom, what an awful thing to say!” Sarah admonished him but could not restrain a giggle. “Come on in, Leah. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you look so pretty.”
Leah took the seat across from Jeff, who was staring at her with wide-open eyes.
“Shoot,” he muttered, “you make me feel like a tramp, Leah. I didn’t know we were supposed to get dressed up just to eat dinner.”
“Stop picking on her, Jeff,” her mother said. “After weeks of traipsing all over the country wearing those old overalls, I don’t wonder that she wants to dress up. You look beautiful, dear. Now, ask the blessing, Dan, and make it a short one—everyone’s hungry.”
He looked up at her with a smile. “I’ll be as brief as possible, but I must give thanks for having these special guests with us.”
He prayed, and then they all plunged in. As they ate, Dan Carter, who ate little himself, reviewed what had happened to the boys’ father. He did not try to lessen the seriousness of his illness. “He really ought to be in a regular hospital. I’m afraid that the authorities give the Northern boys the best of things, and the prisoners have to take what’s left over.”
Tom said sharply, “That’s not right—” Then he paused and shrugged his shoulders wearily. “But I guess it’s probably the same in the South.”
Jeff said, “How did he look when you left?”
Leah and her father exchanged a quick look.
She said, “He was better than when we first saw him, Jeff
. But they’re going to transfer him to the old Capitol Prison.”
Jeff caught something in her voice, glanced over at Tom, and then back at Leah. “What’s the old Capitol Prison?”
“It’s an old building that they’re using for a penitentiary now. We heard they’re going to put the Confederate officers in part of it,” Mr. Carter said.
“What’s it like?” Tom demanded.
Dan described the poor conditions, and finally Leah said, “But we’ll be going back, and we’ll be able to visit him regularly. We’ll see that he gets good food and blankets and things like that.”
Tom shook his head, and Jeff knew his brother’s dissatisfaction was mirrored on his own face. “I wish we could go be with him.”
“You wouldn’t last long in that place,” Dan Carter said sharply. “They’ve got secret agents out looking for Confederate spies. You’d get picked up in two days.”
Jeff said, “They wouldn’t be looking for a boy. I don’t see why I couldn’t go.”
“You’re in the army, Jeff,” Tom reminded him. “We’ve both got to be going as soon as we get the horses together.”
Little more was said, but all that day Jeff was very quiet.
Leah noticed that he was not cheerful, and late that afternoon she said, “Jeff, let’s go down and try to catch old Napoleon.” She had changed the fancy dress for a simple blue one.
Jeff did not feel like fishing, but at her urging they dug some worms, grabbed the poles, and made their way down to the river. It was growing late when they got there. The sun was red in the sky and cast red reflections on the water.
“Too hot to fish much,” Jeff said idly, “but I guess we might as well try.” They baited their hooks and found a deep pool where they had seen old Napoleon many times.
As they fished, Leah tried to be cheerful, but she could tell that Jeff was depressed. She said, “It’s been hard on you and Tom, hasn’t it?”
Jeff nodded. He looked miserable, and his face was drawn. “I worry about Pa,” he said quietly. “If there was only something I could do for him!”
Leah put her hand on his forearm. “We’ll do all we can, Jeff.”
He managed to smile. “I know you will, Leah. You’ve been swell. You’ve been great to take care of Pa the way you have. I just don’t know how to thank you—”
Suddenly Jeff’s cork disappeared with a loud plop! He let out a yell. “It’s a big ’un!” He heaved back on the pole and set the hook, but the line zigzagged frantically across the water. He held on.
Leah knew that if he gave any slack, he would lose the fish. “I wish we had a net!” he shouted. “I don’t think we can land one this big! He’ll flop off.”
“You can do it, Jeff!” Leah threw down her pole and watched with excitement.
Jeff fought, but the fish pulled so hard that she was afraid the pole or the line would break. Finally, however, he brought the fish to the surface and as soon as he did he yelled, “It’s him! It’s old Napoleon!”
“I’ll get him, Jeff. Pull him in! Pull him in!” Leah screamed. She waded out into the water, and when Jeff worked the fish ashore she put her thumb inside the huge fish’s mouth and clamped down on it.
“I’ve got him!” She squealed and turned to move to shore. But then she stepped in a hole and fell splashing into the water.
“Don’t let him go!” Jeff cried. He sloshed over, put one arm around her, and pulled her to her feet, still holding the fish. He picked her up and carried her ashore saying, “You hold on to the fish, and I’ll hold on to you.”
“All right,” Leah said, “but hurry up! He’s so heavy!”
Jeff carried her ten feet away from the bank, put her down, then reached out carefully and took the fish. The huge bass flopped frantically as he removed the hook, then seemed to give up.
Jeff stood watching as the red beams of the sun played over the beautiful scales of the fish. Then he gave Leah an odd look. Without a word he turned and walked back to the river. Leaning over, he slowly put the fish into the water and released him.
There was a powerful splash and the silver glint of scales as Napoleon disappeared into the reeds that lined the bank.
Leah walked up and stood beside him. “You let him go, Jeff?” Her voice was a whisper, and when he didn’t answer she pulled on his arm until he turned around. “Why did you do that?”
“I don’t know. He put up such a good fight. And somehow I want to think about Napoleon being in this river. Maybe when the war is over I’ll come back and have another chance at him. I’ve thought about him so often. I just want him to be here.” Then he said suddenly, “I’m going to see my father, Leah.”
She gasped. “But, Jeff—you can’t!”
“I’m going to see him,” he said stubbornly, “and that’s all there is to it.”
“But if you get caught they might hang you for a spy!”
“They can’t hang me but once, can they?” He found a smile. “I don’t know if I’m an actor or not—but I’m sure going to act like a good Yankee just come to visit the soldiers in prison.”
Leah looked up at him. My, he did seem taller. She looked down at her dress, which was soaked and clung to her. Then she looked up again. Her lips were soft, and her eyes were filled with a strange affection. She said, “Well, if you go, I’m going with you. They’d spot a Rebel like you a mile off!”
“Why—you can’t do that!” Jeff argued. “You stay away from me. If I get caught I don’t want you caught too.”
Leah’s eyes flashed. “I can be just as stubborn as you can be, Jeff Majors, and we’re going to do this thing together.” She thought a moment. “Maybe we can pretend to be brother and sister—that’d be a good thing, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Jeff said, wonder coming into his voice. “That would help, wouldn’t it?” He grinned at her and said, “I’ve never had a sister like you. Just a baby one, like Esther.” Suddenly he put his arm around her and said, “All right, Sis, we’ll do it!”
Leah liked the pressure of his arm around her. She liked the way his teeth flashed white against his tan skin. But she said sharply, “I’m not really your sister, Jeff—we’re just pretending!” Somehow the thought of their being just brother and sister disturbed her.
He looked at her, puzzled, and said, “Sure, that’s right.” Then he said, “Come on, I’ve got to go tell Tom.”
When Tom left the next morning after arguing half the night against the scheme, he had finally given in. “All right, I’ll get you some extended leave, even if I have to go to General Jackson. But you watch yourself, you hear me?” Looking over at Leah, he said, “You mind what she tells you. That girl’s not only good-looking—she’s got a head full of sense.”
Tom kissed Leah, shook hands with his brother, and then gave Jeff a hug. “Write as soon as you find out something about Pa.”
When Tom had left, Jeff felt a little lonesome and a bit frightened.
They had told her parents and Sarah what they intended to do.
Mr. Carter said, “I guess I’ll have to be a part of it. Maybe I can pretend to be an old uncle or something like that. Anyway we’re going to get Jeff in to see his daddy—that’s the important thing.”
“Thank you, Mr. Carter,” Jeff said. He looked around and said, simply, “I thank all of you. I don’t understand this war—people like us, closer than anybody, yet on different sides.”
Mrs. Carter put her arms around him. “It’ll be over soon—someday—and then we’ll start living again.”
Later, Jeff and Leah walked along the road watching the stars, which looked like flickering candles high overhead. They were silent most of the time and then began to talk of how they might get in to see Jeff’s father.
Finally, Jeff turned to her and said, “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Leah. You’re like old Napoleon.”
“You mean I’m like a fish?” Leah exclaimed indignantly.
“Oh, shoot, no! I didn’t mean that!” Jeff stammered. �
�I mean like I wanted Napoleon always to be there. Well, when I think about this place—” he hesitated and his voice dropped to a whisper “—I always think about you being here.”
Without warning, Leah reached up, pulled his head down, and kissed him.
Jeff blinked. “Best friends, aren’t we, Leah?”
Leah looked up at him, took his hand, and led him along the road. “Yes, best friends always, Jeff.”
They glanced up as an owl passed over their heads, making a mournful sound. Somehow the cry of the night bird filled Leah with a sense of some sadness that lay ahead.
But she said, “We are best friends, Jeff. And whatever is ahead, our best-of-all friend Jesus will make everything right.”
Then Leah laughed and pulled at his sleeve. “Come on, let’s go home, and I’ll make you an apple pie!”
The Bonnets and Bugles Series includes:
978-0-8024-0911-9 Drummer Boy at Bull Run—#1
978-0-8024-0912-6 Yankee Belles in Dixie—#2
978-0-8024-0913-3 The Secret of Richmond Manor—#3
978-0-8024-0914-0 The Soldier Boy’s Discovery—#4
978-0-8024-0915-7 Blockade Runner—#5
978-0-8024-0916-4 The Gallant Boys of Gettysburg—#6
978-0-8024-0917-1 The Battle of Lookout Mountain—#7
978-0-8024-0918-8 Encounter at Cold Harbor—#8
978-0-8024-0919-5 Fire over Atlanta—#9
978-0-8024-0920-1 Bring the Boys Home—#10
Drummer Boy at Bull Run Page 14