by Amy Richie
“Should I still not worry?” I sniffed. “Because it's starting to feel like I don't have a choice.”
“You don't have to do anything, Crazy,” he murmured against my ear.
I chuckled without humor. “And what happens if I do nothing?”
“I'll stay with you and keep you safe.” He lightly kissed the side of my neck. “Don't worry.”
Toby couldn't always keep me safe, though. Tonight had done enough to prove that. He couldn't even hear me in the next room when I was calling out to him.
No matter what Toby said, I wasn't going to be able to just do nothing. I had spent the last nineteen years doing nothing and it hadn't ended well. I was all alone in a cabin curled up with a ghost on the couch; afraid to close my eyes.
Toby had said I spent my whole life in fear. He wasn't wrong. There weren't many days that I could remember not being afraid. I stuffed it down deep and tried to ignore it the best I knew how, but it was always there.
Fear had become a living part of my life and maybe it was time to put a stop to it.
I wasn't a warrior though; and even if I was- I wouldn't want to kill Tristan. He was my friend. Sort of.
“I can tell you're not trying,” Toby accused.
“I'm not tired,” I insisted.
“Maybe a warm wash cloth will help.” He shifted slightly to push himself away from me.
“No,” I clutched tight to his arm. “Don't go anywhere. At least until I fall asleep.”
“I thought you weren't tired,” he grumbled. He settled himself back behind me anyways.
“I don't want you to leave me alone.”
“I told you- I won't.” He pressed his lips against my temple and again right below my ear.
Butterflies danced in my stomach, causing the first real smile I'd felt in what seemed like years. I tried to lay really still so he wouldn't move away from me.
If only I wasn't being asked to kill Tristan- I could be really happy; or at least as close as a crazy girl could hope to be.
Chapter Ten
My eyes opened slowly, not yet ready to be fully awake. The couch where I had made my bed the night before had somehow curved to fit my body perfectly. With Toby's help, I had managed to fall asleep and not have any more bad dreams.
Toby wasn't beside me anymore, I realized. Opening my eyes wider, I turned my head to stupidly search the tiny sliver of space between me and the back of the couch. A quick scan of the room didn't reveal him either. Had he left?
“You're finally awake?” he greeted from the kitchen before I could start to worry.
My grin automatically split across my face at the sight of him as he peeked around the partial wall at me. Self-consciousness kept me from going to him; I was still only in my bra and underwear.
“Is it late?” I pretended to search for a clock, all the while not really caring.
“Not really,” he shrugged. Since I didn't move, he came over to the couch, grinning back down at me. “Get up, sleepy face. I made you breakfast.”
My nose crinkled at this bit of news. “You can cook?”
“Back in my day, we didn't have TV dinners and the only fast food we had were deer and rabbits.”
“Eww.”
“Come on,” he laughed, offering me his hand.
“I can't get up.”
“Why not?”
“I'm not dressed.”
“And?”
“And... I need clothes.”
“Are you trying to pretend you're shy?”
“No.” My face flamed hot. I wasn't shy, especially not with Toby; but there was something awkward about being only in your underwear and bra.
“I put your clean clothes in the bathroom,” he declared, tilting his head in the general direction of the small bathroom.
My eyes widened briefly. Why did he put them so far away?
“Get up,” he tugged playfully at the blanket I was still hugging.
“Turn away first.”
“I promised to watch over you,” he cocked one eyebrow high on his forehead.
With a small grumble of annoyance, I swung the blanket off of me and rose up to two good feet. My ankle barely hurt at all after a good night sleep.
Before I could take more than two steps, Toby's hand shot out to encircle my bare waist. “What...?” My mouth fell open in shock.
“I'll be out here listening,” he told me with a seriousness that hadn't been there a minute ago. “If you need anything, call me.”
“Okay,” I breathed out as much of a response as my throat would give.
“I'm going to call your name and if you don't answer me, I'm coming in after you. Do you understand?” He dipped his head low to kiss my chin.
“Why are you so different now?” I blurted out instead of an answer.
“Well, I guess,” he squared his shoulders and dropped his other hand to rest on my hip, “losing you for those few weeks was a lesson I needed.”
“So... you don't hate me as much now?”
His eyes narrowed and he tapped my chin with one finger. “Hurry and get dressed so you can eat.”
So he wasn't going to answer me, I thought as I hurried back to the bathroom. Something had definitely changed between me and Toby. Maybe it had happened the night before in the woods or maybe he saw the change in me and decided I wasn't quite so worthless after all.
Either way, I wasn't so sure which version of Toby I liked better. This new playful one or the scowling ghost who always maintained his distance but I still somehow learned to trust. One thing the time apart had taught me too though was that I wanted to be next to Toby- no matter where he was.
The small pile of clean clothes were exactly where Toby said they would be. I hurried to pull them on before he had time to come check on me; I had already had enough embarrassing moments for one morning.
After a quick rinse of my face and a swish of the borrowed toothbrush, I glanced up at my reflection in the small square mirror above the sink. Mirrors had never been my favorite household object and this one was no exception.
Despite a decent night's sleep that was only interrupted by one unexplainable bad dream, dark circles still lined heavily under puffy eyes. Would I ever be able to sleep well enough for them to go away?
Along my jaw line and along my forehead were tiny cuts form my frantic run through unkind trees. An angry red burn mark snaked across my chin and part way down my neck.
A black eye was becoming visible to match my cut lip. It looked like I'd been in a fight. Which I kind of was. I hated to even imagine how the rest of my body looked.
“What's taking so long in there?” Toby boomed out, pounding on the bathroom door.
I considered trying to put my hair smoother, but the door burst open before I had fully made up my mind. “Nothing,” I shrugged, turning wide eyes to Toby.
“Why didn't you answer? I told you I would check on you.”
“You didn't give me a chance.”
“Are you done?” He scanned the length of my body and back up to my face.
“Yep.” I raised both eyebrows in his direction.
“Sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“No.”
I tucked my necklace into my shirt and followed Toby to the small table where Nona had watched me eat the day before. A plate piled high with eggs and sausage was sitting in front of me as soon as I sat down.
“Did you make all this?” I gasped, shocked at this unknown talent. I guess ghost-people could cook.
“Don't act so shocked,” he teased, tugging on a loose strand of hair before plopping down in the seat across from me.
I shoved my nose close to the plate and inhaled deeply. “Mmm, it smells good.”
“Don't just smell it, Crazy,” he grinned. “Eat!”
“I will,” I laughed, making my eyes go wide. The eggs
were the most perfect I had ever seen. We didn't get eggs very often at Nine Crosses. Maybe on the holidays- that was it.
Toby watched me while I ate, his head propped up on one hand as if it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen.
“This is good,” I mumbled through a full mouth.
“Glad you approve.”
I could only nod as I took another huge bite.
“Were you able to sleep last night?” he asked after I'd finished eating and was sipping at a small glass of orange juice.
“Yeah, there were no more bad dreams.”
“And that was all that was.” He made quick work of rewashing the one used plate and fork.
“You don't think that was really Tristan trying to talk to me?”
“I don't think so.”
“Why?” I kept my eyes on the cup, but my heart was barely beating as I waited for him to answer.
“Because you're wearing his Halskette. He won't be able to find you. Also,” he turned back to me, “did he have a message?”
“He just said he had been waiting for me.”
“Waiting for you? Where?”
“On the road.” At least that's where I thought he must have meant.
“It doesn't make sense for him to use so much energy to get to you and then not tell you anything important.”
I wracked my brain, trying to recall the details of the dream. He hadn't said anything else though. “He didn't use his voice,” I remembered out loud.
“What do you mean he didn't use his voice? How did he talk to you?”
“He used a voice- just not his own.”
“Whose was it?”
“I don't know.” But I knew it wasn't Tristan's voice; at least not the one he used outside my dreams.
“Hmm.” A line started low on Toby's head, but he didn't say anything else about it.
“Would it be okay for me to take a walk outside?” I watched Toby for direction.
“By yourself?”
“I need a minute to think,” I nodded. It wasn't like I didn't have anything to think about.
“Okay,” he surprised me by agreeing, “just don't go far.”
Chapter Eleven
The morning air was chilly, much colder than I had expected. I didn't know what the date was; or even the month, I realized with a start. What kind of person didn't even know what month it was?
Ones that only hung out with ghost-people.
I shoved my hands in my jeans pockets and started walking away from the cabin, unwilling to go back in for a sweater or long sleeves. I didn't know if I'd be able to find anything like that anyways.
It wasn't like I had packed a suitcase; the only thing I had was the battered red backpack that Toby had stolen for me so long ago. And there wasn't much in that either.
Careful to heed Toby's warning and not go too far fromm the cabin, I found a fallen tree close by and sat down on the squishy bark. We were in the woods, I told the part of me that cringed away, it wasn't like I could expect to stay clean for very long.
By putting my back towards the cabin, I easily created the illusion that I was all alone in the wilderness. That was mostly true. As far as humans went- as long as the owner of the cabin didn't return, I very much doubted I would run into anyone else clear out here.
Toby was with me, though. My lips curled up on their own, remembering the way he had kissed my forehead before I left the cabin. My cheeks flamed hot at the memory.
His kisses were so different than the way Tristan kissed me. When Tristan had kissed me, the whole rest of the world had ceased to exist. Toby's kisses left little butterflies dancing in my stomach and a smile on my face.
Not just their kisses were different though; in fact, the only thing they had in common was that they were ghost-people. Tristan cared about me, he cared about what happened to me and wasn't afraid to show it.
Of course, Toby didn't seem to mind much now either about showing how much he didn't hate me.
Where was Tristan now? The last time I had see him was a few nights ago on the side of the road. Zac had been close by then. Did Tristan go back for Zac? Was he hurt? Was that even possible?
Nona wanted me to kill Tristan, but how did you kill a ghost? Especially one as powerful as Tristan. He wasn't just one of the ghost-people; he created them. There was no way I could kill something like that.
“It's nice out here, isn't it?”
Nona's sudden appearance beside me on the fallen tree was enough to make me fall off my seat. To her credit, she didn't laugh as I picked myself back up and sat warily back down.
“It's peaceful,” she continued as if nothing had happened. “I've always loved nature.”
The woods hadn't been peaceful the night before when I'd been terrified and lost. The ghost-people had been chasing me and the stupid trees did nothing to help me then. I just didn't see the appeal.
“It's cold out here,” I commented instead of agreeing.
“Takes longer for the sun to get through the trees.”
“I know why you're here,” I blurted out. What was the point of small talk about the weather when my mind was nearly bursting?
“I know you do,” she didn't smile.
“I know you said before that I'm a warrior, but I really think you have the wrong girl.”
“I don't have the wrong girl,” she denied, still not smiling.
“I can't kill Tristan,” I gushed out, “I don't even want to.”
“Do you know how Tristan works?” Nona turned away from me to stare out into the trees.
“He,” I shrugged lightly, not knowing exactly what she wanted me to say. We both knew what Tristan did. “He makes people kill themselves.”
Her expression didn't change; no smile, no frown- nothing. “He torments people until they think death is the only way out.”
“The ghost-people do that.”
“Tristan controls the Cursed.”
I squirmed slightly where I was sitting. I already knew he did.
“He carefully chooses his victims. He watches people until he sees someone that he wants to add to his collection.”
Was she telling me this so I would hate Tristan?
“He's a monster and you mustn't make him out to be your hero.”
“He saved my life,” I said in a low voice.
“For what end?”
What did that mean?
“He killed your mother.”
My mother had tried to kill me. Trying to use her for leverage wasn't going to work.
“He killed Toby. And he killed Violet. He did it for fun,” she shrugged, “just because that's what he does.”
Killing Toby was a little worse- even if I never knew him when he was alive.
“The curse of the Seer was passed on to you, Ren.”
When she looked at me, her eyes burned with a strange light. “I don't want it.”
“It's your responsibility to destroy Tristan. We've been waiting for you for so very long.”
Her words stirred a distant memory, one that I didn't have time to explore.
“Only you can put a stop to this, it's been your fate since the day you were born.”
“I don't think I can, even if I wanted to. How can you kill someone who isn't alive?” It wasn't like I could shoot him or stab him. I couldn't even touch Tristan anymore.
”The Halskette.”
“What?” I automatically touched the pendant hidden underneath my shirt.
“Do you know what that necklace is?”
“It keeps me hidden from Zac.”
“It keeps you hidden from all the brothers,” she corrected. “But do you know what it actually is?”
I shook my head slowly.
“Inside the pendant are the tears of all the Cursed that Tristan created.”
My hand fell back to my side. “That's not true,” I accused.
“It is.”
“Ho
w is that even possible? There are too many Cursed, their tears wouldn't be able to fit in there.” That was just too creepy- and way too sad- to think about.
“You can't think of it in human terms.”
“I'm human,” I reminded her. She seemed to be forgetting that a lot.
“Not a normal one.”
“And the necklace,” I ignored her insult; I had heard that one before, “how will that help destroy Tristan?”
“If the pendant is smashed, his Cursed will be freed and the power that keeps him in existence will be gone.”
“The power- you mean the Cursed keep him alive?”
“They allow him to be in some form of existence, yes. Their torment gives him power- their tears.”
“So all I have to do is smash this?” I pointed to my chest, refusing to consider what else would be smashed if I killed Tristan.
“It's not an easy task to smash a Halskette.”
“Then...?”
“In ancient times, the brothers were just one creature.”
“One creature?”
“One creature with three heads.”
My nose crinkled at the thought, but I didn't interrupt Nona's story.
“Over time the three heads developed their own separate personalities and so they split apart and took the form of three human men.
Once the guardians of the creature saw it in human forms, they took pity on it and set it free into the world. Before the brothers set out, though, the guardians created the Halskette so that the brothers could be destroyed if they became uncontrollable.
The fact that you have one of the Halskette gives us hope. The brothers, of course, hid the necklaces so that no one would ever find them. Never before has one been given to a human- and for protection.”
“But you said I couldn't smash it,” I pointed out.
“I said it wasn't easy,” she corrected. “If one of the brothers were to turn on the other, it would weaken his power greatly.”
“Enough to smash the necklace,” I finished for her.
“Yes.”
“And you think...” It was really hard to wrap my head around what Nona thought.