by LuAnn McLane
“Are you asking me to?”
“Yes.” He stepped back so he could look at her face. “This house belongs to you too.”
“I adore this house and the fact that you put so much love into building it,” she said, but she avoided directly answering his question.
“Well, I sure as hell belong to you too.” He tilted her face up and gave her a long, deep, tender kiss. “Hey, no more secrets. I want to discuss everything with you and know what’s going on in your life, Arabella. It doesn’t mean I have to come to your rescue.” He grinned. “You’re a modern, kick-ass princess.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “But you can come to me with anything, okay?”
Arabella nodded but glanced away. Grady wanted to take the conversation further but they’d covered a lot of ground and he didn’t want to push her too hard and have her back away.
“Are you ready for that beer?” she asked.
Grady grinned. “You betcha. And I gotta tell you that when you’re pissed, it’s super sexy.”
Arabella laughed. “You’re crazy.”
“Part of my charm,” he said, and then dipped his head and kissed her again. He tried to process that she’d said she’d made him her priority. That had to mean she would stay, but he wasn’t going to press her, at least for now. “Let’s celebrate.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
DON’T WANNA LOSE YOU NOW
“If I sign another sheet of paper, my fingers will fall off,” Arabella complained to the empty room. The last few days had flown by in a flurry of legal documents. But on the plus side, Hip, Hop, Health would live on with her continued involvement. Arabella rolled her head from side to side, thinking she’d have to entice Grady into giving her a much-needed full-body massage. The last several days had passed by in a blur of activity. In addition to running the Heartbeat rehearsals, she’d terminated her lease on her apartment and sold the furniture to the current tenant. Because her personal items were already in storage, Jenna had set up a moving pod to send her stuff to Florida. After doing some research, Arabella had found an auto-transport company to deliver her little VW Beetle. She couldn’t wait to have her cute car back.
With a long-suffering sigh, she scooted back from her desk in the small office connected to the bedroom. After a hands-over-her-head stretch, she headed into the kitchen to try to scrounge up something to eat. Last-minute details with Devin, press conferences, and interviews had kept Grady so busy that she’d barely seen him all week. And it was making her seriously grumpy. “I need a Grady fix and I need it now,” she said while staring at the meager contents of the fridge. And tacos. Tacos would be amazing right about now. But unlike LA, Sea Breeze didn’t have delivery for much of anything, so Arabella stood there and pouted. She spotted a bag of salad greens, some sliced ham, and some leftover Buffalo-chicken pizza, but nothing sounded as good as tacos. “And it’s not even Tuesday.” She shut the door with a bit of irritation and her stomach growled in protest. She put a hand over her tummy. “I know, but I want tacos!” In fact, she’d been craving Mexican food all week long.
“Oh . . . God!” Her knees went weak and she slid to the floor. When she’d been pregnant, she’d craved Mexican food. She counted back and then pulled herself up to locate her phone. She opened her period tracker.
She was late.
Arabella’s heart pounded. “How could I be so careless?” she whispered, but then again, a part of her would welcome a baby . . . Grady’s baby. But how would he react? She closed her eyes, remembering a couple of times when she’d known she’d been rolling the dice and passion had overruled caution. But maybe deep down she didn’t want to be cautious.
Desperate to know for sure, she slipped on her shoes, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door. She slid behind the wheel of the MINI Cooper that Grady had loaned her to replace her rental. She drove out of town, not wanting to be spotted in the local drugstore buying a pregnancy test, so by the time she arrived back at the beach house, she was frantic with wanting to know the results.
Dropping everything but the box, Arabella raced into the bathroom. Her fingers shook so hard that it was nearly impossible to follow the simple directions, and yet she finally managed. When she saw the results, she burst into tears.
Still in the bathroom, she heard Grady arrive. “Arabella?”
Her heart hammered and she couldn’t stand up, couldn’t find words.
“Bella?”
She heard him walking around, and he finally knocked on the door.
“Babe, are you in there?”
“Yes.” She tried for a light response but her voice sounded like a croak.
“Are you okay?”
Arabella cleared her throat and tried to pull herself together.
“Can I come in?”
“No!” she nearly shouted.
“You’re scaring me. I don’t care what you’re doing, I’m coming in.”
Arabella looked up from where she sat on the tile floor. The instructions, the box, and the results were scattered around her. His eyes widened as what she was doing registered. Another tear slipped out and she tried to speak.
“Are we going to have a baby?” Grady asked in a voice laced with emotion.
“No,” she answered softly, and then squeezed her eyes shut.
“Oh, Bella.” Grady sat down beside her and took her hand. “I guess I should feel relieved, but I kinda feel disappointed.”
“Really?” Arabella looked at him, loving him even more than she already did. She gave him a wobbly smile.
Grady raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. “Were you worried that I’d be upset?”
Arabella shrugged, trying to rein in her emotion. “I don’t know.”
“How about you?” He tilted his head, waiting for her response.
“I guess, truly, I’m a little bit disappointed too.” She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Not that I was trying to get pregnant! I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“I know that.” He squeezed her hand. “So, you’re sure?”
Arabella showed him the stick. “Yep.”
Grady nodded. “What made you think that you could be?”
“Well, I had this super craving for tacos and because of the last time . . .” she said, and then stopped. She felt him stiffen beside her.
“Wait, the last time?”
“Oh, Grady . . .” Arabella said, trying not to tremble. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, trying to maintain her composure and failing miserably.
“Arabella, were you pregnant before?” he asked in a soft voice.
“Yes,” she replied, and heard his sharp intake of breath. “The . . . the . . . night I found you with that girl.”
“You were coming in to tell me you were pregnant?”
Unable to look at him, she nodded. “I’m so sorry.”
Silence filled the room.
Finally she said, “Try to understand. I was so emotionally strung out already. You were in the middle of the tour and I wasn’t sure how you would react . . . and well, then you know what I walked into.”
“Except I was innocent,” he said flatly.
“I freaked out.”
“I know.”
Silence.
“So, do I have a child?” he asked hesitantly.
“Oh, Grady.” Arabella started to cry. “I . . . I . . . miscarried,” she said in a broken tone. “Only eight weeks into the pregnancy.” Sobs shook her whole body. She needed him to hug her but he didn’t.
“Were you going to tell me?”
“Back then?”
“Yes.”
Arabella gazed up at the ceiling and then mustered up the courage to look at Grady through a veil of tears. “I wouldn’t have kept your child from you.”
He nodded but looked stricken, and she felt a flash of fear.
“Granny York was the only person who knew.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I was so young. Scared. And when I miscarried, I was . . . so destroyed for a long time.” She swiped at tears with the sleeve of her shirt. “I wondered if there was something I’d done wrong. Something to cause . . .” she said, and then started crying harder. “And I was so mad at you.”
“But I didn’t deserve it.”
“Don’t you see? I didn’t know that then. I thought that if you hadn’t been with that girl and I hadn’t been so upset . . .”
Grady frowned, and to Arabella’s horror he brushed away his own tears. “God, you placed blame on me?”
“I placed blame on everything. I was an emotional hot mess. And of course I missed you. Needed you.”
“You refused my calls,” he said in a weary tone. “But you were able to grieve. And now I have to deal with . . . a loss I never knew I had. It was my baby too.”
“I’m so sorry. But then you seemed to be with another girl at every turn.” She shrugged. “And so I didn’t see the point.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“I’ve wanted to. Started to. But then I told myself, what good would it do?”
“It was something I had the right to know. We can’t have secrets like that between us, Arabella. Secrets will always come out and undermine trust.”
“I’m sorry. All I can ask is for you to put yourself in my shoes and try to understand what I was going through at the time.” She looked at him through a blur of tears. “And right this minute.”
Grady nodded and put his arm around her, pulling her close. She leaned her head on his shoulder, letting her tears flow. “This is so hard, but I’m glad that you know now, Grady.” She felt his intake of breath. He reached over to the toilet-paper roll and gave her a long piece. Thankful, she blew her nose and blotted at her eyes.
“Funny, if not for this concert, you would never have found out the truth. You would have gone through the rest of your life thinking the worst of me. God, that would have been such a tragedy.” His voice sounded distant, as if he were trying to process everything all at once.
“You’re right,” she admitted, and felt him tense up. “But at least you know what I was going through at the time.”
“I can only imagine.” He nodded absently, making her heart constrict. For the first time, everything in her life seemed to be coming together. And in one afternoon, their bubble of happiness had burst like a giant balloon, raining like tears all around them. Arabella swallowed hard, wishing she’d had the courage to tell him sooner.
“I have an interview to do in less than an hour. I just hadn’t seen you all day and wanted to stop by for a few minutes,” he said. While there wasn’t any anger in his tone, Arabella felt him pull away and it scared her to the bone. But she knew he needed time to digest the loss of the baby.
Grady kissed her on top of her head and stood up, offering his hand for assistance. “I’ll give you a call later,” he said, but made no mention of coming over.
Arabella nodded. “Okay.” She followed him to the door, and when he drove away she felt a sense of loss. She put a hand to her chest, wondering if anything could ever be the same.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND,
Jesse splashed water at Grady. “Who the hell pissed in your Cheerios?”
Grady wiped the warm droplets from his face and shot a glare at Jesse. “I have a lot on my plate, okay?” He stepped into the hot tub on the other side of Jesse, wishing Arabella was in the tub and not his brothers. They’d rehearsed so much yesterday that they’d decided to take a well-deserved day of rest to save up energy for the concert, which was set to go off in two days.
Grady needed a soak in the bubbling water, but he wanted Arabella in his arms more.
“I think we all really know what’s making you cranky, bro,” Oliver said. “Why in the hell have you been keeping your distance from Arabella?”
“I’ve been busy!”
“Not in the middle of the night,” Oliver said. “We know you’ve been staying here instead of the beach house. What gives?”
“None of your business,” Grady growled.
“Uh, it’s my business when you don’t have your head screwed on straight two days before we perform,” Oliver said. “Not to mention that we all care about you.” He hesitated. “And Arabella too.”
“Want to talk about it?” Jimmy asked.
Grady sighed but shook his head. “No.” He couldn’t tell them what Arabella had revealed to him. He was still trying to wrap his head around the loss of a baby he hadn’t known about. And it wasn’t just the loss—it was the realization that he hadn’t been with Arabella while she went through what had to have been a horrific event. So young . . . damn, he should have been at her side.
“Is she gonna leave after the concert?” Jimmy persisted. “I thought she sold her business and wanted to stay here.”
“She did. I don’t think she’ll leave,” Grady said, wishing he had a beer in his hand. He knew his brothers loved her, but it hit him hard how much they’d missed her too. She was the sister they’d always wanted and now they had her back, and he could tell that they didn’t want to lose her again either. She was a bright spot of energy and brought laughter with her.
“Grady,” Oliver said, “if you’re stressed about the concert, don’t be. We’ve got the show down pat. We could do it with our eyes closed . . . backward and sideways. The sound system is perfect. I’ve checked it, like, a million times. Our suits are super smooth and so are the hats. I know we’ll sell out of them at the concert.”
“They are pretty sweet,” Jesse said. “Just when I thought I couldn’t get any sexier . . . bam.”
Jimmy rolled his eyes. “You’re a piece of work. Just don’t fall off the stage.”
“You mean get pulled off,” Jesse insisted, then turned to Grady. “The weather forecast is sunshine, breezy, and mild. Perfect for an outdoor concert at the Sea Breeze amphitheater. The merchandise has all arrived and looks badass, by the way. We’re sold out! I mean, we couldn’t squeeze one more body into the venue without getting in trouble with the fire marshal. Media coverage has been awesome. And you said that we already have more donations to the Susan Heart Lupus Foundation pouring in. This is even more than we’d hoped for. Our handsome mugs have been plastered everywhere. Yesterday, after the Entertainment Tonight piece, we were trending on Twitter. I think we still are.”
“And look at how cute I am.” Jesse drew a circle around his face and then flexed a muscle.
Grady had to chuckle despite his mood.
“We’re all pretty damned ripped, even Jimmy,” Oliver said. “All that rehearsing Arabella made us do whipped us into shape.”
“I know how hard you guys have worked,” Grady said, trying not to react to Arabella’s name. “And I’m stoked over how much money we’ve already raised. Donations really are pouring in on the website. It’s more than I imagined.”
“Then what the hell is wrong with you?” Jesse asked. “Come on, spill.” He looped his arms over the side of the hot tub and waited. “At least give us something to chew on. And don’t tell us it doesn’t have anything to do with Arabella.”
Grady shifted on the slippery seat. “I guess it still gets to me sometimes that Arabella ran off, thinking the worst of me,” he said, and his answer was partly true. But now he knew that she had been pregnant and hadn’t told him. A whole lot of maybes started skittering through his brain and wouldn’t stop.
“You’ve got to get over that,” Oliver said. “Damn, I thought you’d worked that shit out. Grady, leave the past where it belongs.”
“That’s not as easy as it sounds,” Grady said.
“You were both so young,” Jimmy reminded him. “Don’t tell me you’re going to blow this secon
d chance with her. I don’t get it. You’re not one to hold grudges.”
“This goes way deeper than a grudge.” Grady felt a stab of pain at the thought. He knew his absence over the past few days had to be bothering her. And the anguish on her face when she’d revealed the pregnancy haunted him when he tried to go to sleep at night. He loved her so much, but this new revelation was so damned difficult to get past. More what-ifs banged around in his brain.
“Is there something you’re not telling us?” Jimmy asked, always the intuitive one.
Grady gave him a long look, wanting so much to spill his guts, but this wasn’t his story to tell. If Arabella wanted them to know, it was up to her.
“What goes down in the hot tub stays in the hot tub,” Jesse said.
“Dude, that doesn’t work for this situation,” Oliver said. “You’re such a tool.”
“I just pissed,” Jesse said.
“You better not have,” Oliver sputtered, but Jesse only laughed.
“And I farted too.” He pointed to the bubbles. “Fart bubbles.” He waved them in Oliver’s direction.
Jimmy laughed. “You’re both a couple of tools.”
Grady chuckled and felt himself relax just a little bit.
“I still think it sucks that we can’t drink,” Jesse complained. “I don’t know what harm a few beers could cause.”
“No toxins in the system!” Oliver shook his head firmly. “We can party after the concert,” he said. “And I plan on it.”
Jesse groaned. “No beer. No shitty food. You’re killin’ me.”
“You’ll live,” Oliver said.
“Really?” Jesse asked. “Because that kale salad you forced on me for lunch nearly did me in.”
“It’s a superfood.”
“Yeah, super gross.” Jesse made a gagging sound. “Those fart bubbles are kale fart bubbles.”
“You sound like a five-year-old,” Jimmy said with a laugh. “There’s more to life than pizza and beer.”