Lena gazed at him through watery eyes as the truth of his words seeped into the dark corners of her mind. It was a light that eradicated the fear and insecurity that lived in those corners. Her lips parted in a silent gasp as something shifted in her mind, and suddenly she tugged him to his feet.
“I want to show you something.” Lena led him back to her bedroom, and Owen watched curiously as she plucked a few things from her bookshelf.
He’d noticed that she kept the majority of her books on a shelf in the living room, but she had a small shelf in her bedroom that seemed to be reserved for notebooks and journals. She was nervous and hopeful as she handed him the first object. It was a spiral-bound notebook like the ones he’d used in grade school, but Owen quickly realized that this one hadn’t been designated for academic use.
Hand-sketched green eyes stared back at him from every page, some drawn in pairs and others solitary. They weren’t the ones he saw in the mirror every day; these seemed to belong to a small child. He smiled in amazement, not needing to ask what had inspired her. Lena had also transcribed his name over and over, in dozens of various fonts and colors.
“You were my constant too,” she said softly, handing him a second book. This one was a journal, and the green eyes had clearly been drawn by a more practiced hand. Interspersed with the sketches were small snippets of poetry and prose. “I had my dad too, of course, and Logan. But I never felt like I deserved either of them. You… you were always there. You were the person I thought of when I felt lost or alone.”
Owen’s brows contracted slightly at her words, but his smile didn’t fade. She handed him a third notebook, and this one was filled with page after page of her familiar handwriting. It was slightly less mature than what he’d seen in class, and he guessed that she must’ve been in high school when she’d written all of it.
“I always wondered what had happened to you, and I must’ve written your story a hundred times,” Lena confessed. “Or at least, what I thought might be your story. But now I want to know the real one. I want to know the real you, not the one I invented.”
“You will,” he promised, his heart skipping wildly. “Can I read them? I promise I’ll give them back.”
“You’re the only one I’d share them with,” she whispered, closing her eyes as she added, “The only one I’d share myself with.”
Owen’s breath caught, and a hopeful smile lit up his handsome features. He opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a hand.
“But school comes first. For both of us. I can’t afford to let anything slide, and neither can you.” Her stipulation did nothing to diminish the brilliant smile on his face, and he quickly placed the notebooks on her desk so that his hands were free to touch her.
“Does that mean you’re going to stop fighting me and admit that you want to be with me too?”
“Well,” she shrugged, her lips curving upward as she rolled her eyes playfully. “I figure it’s like you said… We’re supposed to be together.”
Owen gave a short ‘ha!’ of victory and wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off her feet a little as he held her tightly against him. Lena’s arms went automatically around his neck, and he kissed her fiercely. Their lips moved against each other in a dance so perfect it made her chest ache, and she threaded her fingers into his dark hair in an effort to bring him closer still. Owen’s hands were everywhere, trailing fire over the curve of her spine, around the swell of her hips, across her full breasts, and up to her jaw as he worshiped her lips with his own.
Lena moaned softly, and her hands fell to his waist, tugging his t-shirt upward and over his head. She tossed it blindly across the room before allowing him to remove her own shirt. Owen sighed with longing and pulled her against him once more, relishing in the sensation of skin-on-skin. She was always so warm, and he realized in that moment that she made him feel that way on the inside as well. Lena’s glow had kept him warm and safe for fifteen years, and now she was truly his. The swell of elation that rose in his chest was the most intense happiness he’d ever felt. Even the thrill he’d felt at being liberated from his mother’s house had been nothing compared to this.
Owen backed her slowly against the bed, devouring the fragrant skin at her neck as they moved. Her fingers gripped his biceps as though she feared she might fall were it not for his strength. He lowered her onto the mattress, and Lena gasped when his lips found her breasts and feasted on the tender flesh. She bucked wildly against him, arching her back upward and attempting to wrap her legs around his waist to bring him closer.
Their typical frenzied pace was absent, but the longing and desperation they felt was even more intense. They took their time with each other, savoring every second, every touch, every kiss, until at last they were completely bared to one another, body and soul.
“Mine,” Owen groaned as he filled her completely. The proclamation was both loving and triumphant, and Lena’s response came instinctively.
“Yours,” she breathed, shuddering at the truth of her words.
Owen kissed her again as he moved slowly inside of her, thrusting so deeply that it felt as though he wanted to crawl right inside of her and never leave. Lena’s eyes locked with his, and it became impossible to look away. It was as though every nerve, every atom of her body was resonating with his, tuned to perfection and dancing to the symphony of their lovemaking. The moment was profound, and they hung suspended within it as they shattered together.
He gazed at her in wonder, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would never feel for another person the way he felt about her. It was inconceivable. She was an irrevocable part of him now, as though their souls had blended into one being. Lena stared back, lost in his magnificent eyes and stunned at the love that shone back at her from the verdant depths. There was no denying it. There was no need for him to actually say the words; it was written all over his face.
The weight of her realization made it difficult for Lena to breathe, and she didn’t have to look far within her own heart to know that she loved him back. But while the love came easily, the words did not. She couldn’t bring herself to say them out loud, and as much as Owen would have liked to hear them at that moment, he didn’t feel the need to rush her. He knew that she wasn’t ready, just as he knew with certainty that she loved him too. For now, that was enough.
Owen smiled, brushing her hair gently away from her face as he hovered over her, propped on his elbows and still buried inside of her. He leaned down to touch his lips to hers once more, pouring into the kiss everything that he knew she needed to hear. To feel. His love, his patience, his compassion, his heart… All of them belonged to her.
He was hers, and she was his.
Chapter 20
Tuesday
Owen’s steps felt lighter than air as he and Lena made their way from their business lecture to the student union the following Tuesday. He’d never held a girl’s hand in public before, and he was amazed that such a small act could feel so satisfying. As mature as he might be about some things, in many ways he was still very much a teenager, and he wondered happily if holding hands made everyone feel like this.
They’d spent the majority of Sunday studying for midterms together. Once they’d dragged themselves out of bed, that is. They still had a lot of things to discuss in regard to their pasts, but Owen was willing to continue taking things slowly. For the time being, he would be happy with whatever parts of herself she wanted to share with him, particularly if it meant they could have more days like Sunday. It wasn’t until he’d woken up screaming in his own bed later that night that he realized he’d slept soundly next to Lena for the second time. As eager as he was to repeat the experiment, Owen was determined not to push her too far too quickly.
“You never did tell me how you ended up at the club,” Lena reminded him as he opened the heavy glass door for her.
“I forgot my wallet in your car on Friday night, so I came by your apartment to get it.” When she still looked mystified
, he added, “I got there just in time to see a very different version of my Lena standing on the sidewalk with her friends.”
“I’m surprised you even recognized me. Wait, so… you followed me?”
“I only recognized you because I’d know that body anywhere and you were showing quite a lot of it… and yes,” he admitted, doing his best to look contrite. Owen still believed that he’d been right to follow Lena to the club, even if it meant overstepping a few social boundaries in the process.
“Wow, that’s some first-rate stalking you did there,” Lena teased, her smile relaxing him instantly. They got in line at one of the small restaurants, still holding hands.
“Just you wait. When I have more resources to work with, I’ll be able to keep an eye on you all the time.”
“Cause that’s not creepy at all.”
“I just want you to be safe,” he pouted. She wanted to be irritated, but he looked so adorable.
What the hell is he doing to me?
“I can be perfectly safe without a GPS tracker or an overpaid babysitter. I don’t even put up with that crap from my dad.”
“All evidence to the contrary. And what do you mean by that? Your dad tried to fit you with a GPS chip?” Owen seemed impressed rather than alarmed at the notion.
“No, even he wouldn’t go that overboard. I meant the babysitter. A security detail. I had one for a little while, but luckily I didn’t have to complain too much to put an end to that.”
“Why did you need security?” Now he was alarmed.
“It was just for a little while a couple years ago when we were receiving some threats,” Lena shrugged. “It happens more than you’d think when you’re talking about a company the size of GC. You didn’t notice that my dad’s ‘driver’ was packing a thirty-eight under his blazer?”
“No… Jesus, Lena. Why don’t you still have one? It’s not like you keep your connection to GC a secret. What if…” Owen trailed off as his eyes darted around the crowded student union, sizing up possible assailants.
“Okay, we’re not going to get into this right now,” Lena said quickly, rolling her eyes and laughing in spite of herself. The image of him angling his body to shield her from rogue lunch ladies was amusing, but she recognized the need to change the subject. “I’m assuming you got your wallet. Or is this my treat?”
“I went out and got it before you woke up on Sunday,” he nodded, still frowning.
As they waited for their food and then found a place to sit, Owen’s thoughts returned to the subject of Lena’s safety. Eventually, he would have enough money to make sure she was well-protected at all times, but in the meantime, he was of half a mind to suggest to Nate that Lena might just need a security detail again. Permanently. Lena must’ve had more sway with her father than she realized, because there would’ve been no amount of wheedling that would’ve convinced Owen to dismiss her protection.
His brows pinched together a little more when he noticed how little she’d gotten for lunch, and although he was accustomed to her eating habits now, he still couldn’t resist the urge to push half of his fries onto her plate. Lena looked at him inquisitively.
“So, now that I’m officially your girlfriend,” she stressed the word knowing it would bring back his smile, “will you finally explain your fixation with food? If I remember correctly, the first word you ever said to me was ‘eat.’ Even then, you were bossing me around,” Lena said gently, hoping to keep things light. She knew that the reasoning behind his food issues was probably something dark, but she’d been dying to ask for months.
Owen had indeed grinned at her use of the word ‘girlfriend,’ but his smile had faded just as quickly. A shadow crossed his features, and Lena began to backtrack.
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to -”
“No, it’s alright,” he assured her, holding up a hand to stop her from retracting the question. “You’re right that food has always been a sensitive area with me. I didn’t have a good childhood, and food was always used against me.”
“Against you?” Lena echoed in confusion.
“Withheld as a punishment,” he clarified. Her mouth fell open as she stared back at him, utterly appalled.
“Who did that to you???” she demanded angrily.
“My mothers. Both of them. It’s a very long story that we don’t really have time for right now, and it’s certainly not the sort of thing we should talk about over a meal. I will tell you though. I promise.”
Lena nodded, her guilt pulsing hotly in her chest. Fuck, I actually teased him for his food issues. I’m such a bitch. If Owen had actually been starved as a punishment, then it was no wonder he hated the idea of hunger so much. She felt the urge to cry for the hungry little boy he’d been all those years ago, but she knew that it wasn’t the time or place for that. Although Lena wasn’t particularly hungry, she picked up two of the fries he’d shared with her, reached over to dip them in his ketchup, and smiled at him as she chewed. Owen’s face lit up, and she felt her own smile growing brighter as well. It was amazing that such a small thing could make him so happy.
“So… I’m thinking we should do dinner tonight?” He phrased it like a question, and he wasn’t all that surprised when she tried to decline.
“I have to study for my Finance midterm. It’s tomorrow,” Lena winced.
“Then aren’t you lucky to have a boyfriend who’s already taken that class,” Owen grinned. “I’ll help you study, we can eat, do any other homework… And when we’re done, we can do… other things.” Lena bit her bottom lip, finding it extremely difficult to argue with him. “I promise I won’t distract you. I haven’t forgotten your stipulation. If I make it too hard to focus, I won’t be offended if you feel the need to kick me out.”
“Alright,” she sighed, unable to summon a better argument. “But I’ll hold you to that.” He smirked and leaned forward to steal a kiss.
“Baby, you can hold me to anything you want.”
November 2011
Saturday
Lena sighed and sipped her morning coffee, scrolling through Logan’s most recent email as Owen drove them to GC. In spite of their late night and the tenacity with which she clutched her insulated mug, she wasn’t really all that tired. Instead, she craved the caffeine for therapeutic reasons. Sometimes it was the only thing that made the prospect of a long day at her father’s office even remotely tolerable. Well, she amended silently, one of the only two things.
Lena glanced at Owen, who looked every inch the businessman he was hoping to become as he sat in the driver’s seat in his well-tailored suit. The charcoal color brought out his eyes and complimented the silver tie he was wearing. His expression was relaxed and optimistic, and Lena couldn’t help but feel a little envious of him for it. Owen was actually excited to go to work. He’d been doing very well at GC thus far, and she was proud of him. This would be the third Saturday since he’d started there, and Lena had been given the responsibility of overseeing his first few department rotations. It felt slightly strange at times to be in a position of authority over him, but Owen didn’t seem to mind it.
“Remind me to give you a tour of the executive floor today. I think that’s the only part of the building you haven’t seen yet,” Lena told him as she locked her phone and slipped it into her purse.
“Okay. Everything alright with Logan?” he asked politely.
“Seems to be. The only real information he can give me is that he’s still alive. We talk about other things… mundane things. But I think it helps him a little,” she shrugged.
“I’m sure it does.”
Owen reached over to squeeze her hand encouragingly. He’d decided not to consider Logan James as a threat until he actually met the man. If his original suspicions about Logan’s not-so-platonic feelings had been accurate, Owen knew that it would be easy to detect in the man’s behavior. Until then, he would support their friendship.
“So, I’ll get to see your father’s office then? If he’s not busy?
”
“Probably. He knows we’re coming.”
“Good.”
In the three weeks that had passed since Owen and Lena had made their relationship official, Lena had only been back to Nate’s once for their usual Sunday dinner, and she’d gone alone. Nate had been away on business the second week, but he’d invited both Lena and Owen to join him the following evening. Lena hadn’t told her father about her relationship yet, and she wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to react.
On the rare occasions that Nate had even known about any dates she might’ve had, he’d reacted as a typical father of a teenage daughter. He’d instructed her to carry pepper spray in her purse and had grilled her for information on each boy, both before and after the dates. He’d warned her about the danger of getting distracted from her responsibilities as well, and eventually, Lena had stopped sharing details about her personal life with him.
Things were different this time, however. She was in an actual relationship, which was something she knew she ought to share with the only parent she had. Lena crossed her fingers that Nate would keep his warnings to himself when she told him about Owen, hoping that by now her father knew that such warnings really were unnecessary. She was moderately optimistic, especially since she knew that Nate was fond of Owen.
Lena and Owen waved hello to the weekend receptionist as they passed through the lobby at GC and took the elevator to the ninth floor where the intern offices were located. The offices were generally occupied only during the summer months, so it was an ideal place for Lena to stash her coat and purse on the days that she worked. She’d staunchly refused Ben Kearney’s offer to set her up with a permanent office, insisting that it made no sense for someone who only worked part-time. What she hadn’t told Ben was that having her own office at GC was a step she simply wasn’t ready to take yet; she wanted to delay it for as long as possible.
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