“Yeah, I was tied up with a mission until last week. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make it back for Christmas, so I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up,” he replied, giving Lena an apologetic smile.
“Oh, you’re not getting off the hook that easy,” she declared, though her tone was teasing now. “When did you get in?”
“Just yesterday. The flight from Udari takes forever.”
“Where’s that?” Nate inquired, sparing Owen the indignity of asking the question himself.
“Kuwait,” Logan and Lena answered together.
“What took you there?”
“Unfortunately, it’s one of those things I can’t talk about, but… suffice it to say that it wasn’t my favorite mission,” Logan grimaced as he took a bite of his dinner roll.
Lena winced empathetically and took a moment to study him. She hadn’t given him a proper examination when she’d arrived, having been so thoroughly shocked and relieved to see him. Now that she had a moment to really look at him, however, she was concerned by what she saw. Logan looked like himself and yet… different. He looked exhausted, as though he hadn’t truly slept in months, and there was a haunted quality in his eyes that made her stomach clench anxiously. What happened to him?
Lena wasn’t the only one taking inventory of their dinner companion. Owen spent the majority of the meal watching Logan watch Lena, doing his best to reassure himself that the bright interest in the man’s eyes was nothing more than brotherly affection. Surely the coolness in Logan’s expression when he looked at Owen was simply the reaction of a concerned older brother.
He thought of Julia, whom he considered to be a sister, and he knew that there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do to prevent a guy from hurting her. Intimidation would be the easiest tactic, and Owen hoped that Logan’s loaded glances and jaw-clenching could be attributed to nothing more than the attitude of an overprotective brother. Fraternal love couldn’t account for the way Logan’s eyes seemed to shine with hope as they lingered on Lena, however, and the more Owen watched him, the more certain he became. He recognized the symptoms all too well.
Logan James was in love with Lena. And she had no idea.
“So, Owen, Nate told me that you’ll be graduating next spring?” Gregory said politely. “And you’re only nineteen?”
“Yes, sir. I’ll be twenty in June,” he replied. Lena smiled proudly at him, and Logan looked uncomfortable.
“Very impressive. What are your plans for after graduation?”
“I hope to continue working at GC, at least in the short term, and eventually I’d like to start my own company.”
“That’s only if we let him escape,” Nate chuckled. Lena scowled at her dinner plate but said nothing. “And how have things been going for you, Logan? Your dad told me you just earned your Army Commendation Medal. Congratulations.”
“Thank you, sir,” Logan replied stiffly. “Everything’s been great.” He faked a smile, unable to meet anyone’s gaze, least of all the inquisitive eyes of his best friend.
As the dinner conversation ebbed and flowed, Logan observed Owen with well-trained skill, mentally documenting every micro-expression and nuance in his tone. He was every bit as intelligent and charming as Lena had described in her emails, but what was even more obvious was his devotion to Lena. Owen was clearly in love with her, and as much as Logan might have wanted to pretend otherwise, he could tell that Lena reciprocated those feelings.
When Logan had left for basic training, it had been even harder to say goodbye to her than he’d anticipated. She’d broken down in his arms, and in that moment, he’d suspected that his feelings for her had begun to change. Lena had transformed from the scrawny twelve-year-old he’d befriended three years prior to a beautiful, kind, and intelligent young woman. The timing of his realization couldn’t have been worse, and Logan had forced himself to shove his feelings into a distant corner of his mind so that he could focus on his military career.
His observations of Lena over the course of the evening were both reassuring and painful. Although he didn’t quite understand her coolness toward Nate, it was clear that she was happier than he’d seen her in a long time. Judging by the sappy looks she kept giving her boyfriend, Logan assumed that Owen had a lot to do with that happiness, and that realization made his chest ache. Logan had waited four years to be able to tell Lena how he really felt, and now it seemed he’d missed his chance.
Fuck, he thought miserably as he watched Owen lift Lena’s hand to his lips in a gallant gesture. If she’s safe and happy with him… He didn’t want to complete the thought, knowing that he’d have to be willing to let go of the hope he’d been clinging to for the last few years. The hope that someday they might be more than friends…
As far as he could tell, Lena certainly seemed to be happy with Owen, but Logan wasn’t entirely certain about the safe part. He knew that Lena had a rebellious streak, and he hated it. He’d confronted her more than once about the underage drinking she’d gotten into during her freshman year, but unfortunately, his job had prevented him from being around to keep her out of trouble. Logan hated that he hadn’t been able to protect her from herself, and he wondered if Owen had managed to make any progress on that front.
Only one way to find out, Logan mused, vowing to keep an eye on Lena as much as possible for a little while.
Gregory and Nate had left the table in favor of Nate’s study, leaving the younger three to navigate the moderate awkwardness on their own. Owen was struggling to keep the animosity off of his face, surreptitiously checking the clock more frequently than necessary. Lena and Logan chatted amicably, sharing stories of the things they’d done together before Logan had left for the military. Eventually, however, they fell into silence, and after a few moments, Lena tilted her head to one side, gazing in concern at her friend.
“You look like shit, you know.”
“Well, thanks,” Logan chuckled hollowly. “Like I said… long trip.”
“I know you’re exhausted, but that’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it. What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing, Squeak, I’m really just tired. Feel like I could sleep for a year.”
Lena didn’t answer but merely held him in her gaze, seeing much more than he would’ve liked. Owen shifted uncomfortably but remained silent. Logan sighed wearily.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now, alright?”
“Is it your dad?” Logan’s expression confirmed her suspicion. Gregory was a good guy, but his rampant enthusiasm for the military had a tendency to grate on his son’s nerves. “What’s he gone and said now?” Logan shook his head.
“He’s just a little more gung-ho about my career than I can stomach right now. He won’t shut up about it.”
“Well, how long will you be home?”
“I… I don’t know yet,” he said evasively, his eyes flickering to Owen. It was one of several things he’d been waiting to discuss with her, but he wasn’t about to start that conversation in the presence of her boyfriend.
“Well, why don’t you come crash at my place for a little while? At least on the nights when you need a break from him.”
Owen suppressed a growl at the idea of Logan staying with his girlfriend alone. He trusted Lena implicitly, but all he really knew about Logan James was that he was ridiculously good-looking and was, by all appearances, head over heels in love with a woman who thought of him as a brother. A woman who belonged to someone else… Owen had been looking forward to a few weeks of nothing but working with Lena at GC, celebrating the holidays with their families, and lots of naked time. Unfortunately, Logan James seemed intent on ruining his plans.
“I’d like that,” the weasel smiled at Lena. “Maybe tomorrow evening, if that’s alright?”
“Tomorrow’s fine. I don’t have to work, so come over whenever.”
Neither of us have to work tomorrow, Owen grunted inwardly, wanting to remind her of the catching up they’d been planning to do
on sleep and sex. He glanced at her face, which was lit with a beautiful, happy smile, and he immediately felt guilty. She hasn’t seen her best friend in over a year, Langford. You don’t get to be pissy about this.
But he was.
No matter how many times he told himself to relax, Owen’s frustration only intensified as the evening drew to a close and the dinner party dispersed. As he and Lena drove back to her apartment, she gazed at him curiously in the darkness. His features were lit only by the occasional set of passing headlights, but she was all too familiar with the tension she could see in his expression.
“You’re very quiet,” she observed aloud. “Something on your mind?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not,” Lena disagreed. “What’s wrong?”
“I just…” he shook his head minutely. “I was hoping that we’d get to have more time alone together now that we’ve got a break from classes for a few weeks.”
“I’m sorry,” she replied sincerely, understanding the reason for his disappointment without him having to say it in so many words. “I just want to be there for my friend. I’m worried about him. I wasn’t kidding when I told him that he looked like he hadn’t slept in months. Something’s going on with him, and we need a chance to talk away from Dad and Gregory.”
“I understand. I’m just not sure where I come into that.”
“Well, you’re welcome to stay over too. I will need some time alone with him though. If I know Logan, he won’t want to open up about whatever’s going on if you’re there,” Lena explained.
Owen’s lips formed a thin, straight line, in spite of his best efforts to keep his features neutral, and Lena had no trouble deciphering his unspoken thoughts.
“Hey,” she frowned. “Don’t be like that. Logan isn’t some classmate who stares at my chest a little too long or some employee of my dad’s with a crush on me. He’s been my best friend since I was twelve years old.”
“He may not work for your father, but he’s definitely got a crush on you,” Owen muttered irritably, all pretenses of self-control abandoned.
“That’s ridiculous. You don’t even know him!”
“I know what a man in love looks like, Eleanore. I see it every day in the mirror.”
Lena would have melted at his words if she weren’t so irritated by his insecurity and presumption.
“You’ve got to be kidding. Do you really think that you know Logan better than I do? Is that why you were giving him the stink-eye all evening?”
“Trust me, he gave as good as he got. And did you not see the way he was looking at you? Flirting with you?? You can’t possibly be that naive,” he spat. Lena took a deep, calming breath, but she felt her temper flare a notch higher regardless. When she spoke, her voice was low and dangerous.
“Owen… I only want to say this once, so please listen. Logan is my friend. He’s like family. He may as well be my brother. It’s always been that way, and it will always be that way. He will always have a place in my life, so you’re going to have to get over it. He wasn’t flirting with me. He was just being himself. There’s no way in hell he’s in love with me. That’s just ridiculous! He’s known me since I was twelve years old, and it’s never been like that.”
“You’re just oblivious to it,” Owen retorted sharply. “Just like you are with every other fucker who wants in your panties. I don’t know if it’s low self-esteem or if you’re just blind -”
“That’s enough! I’m so fucking tired of you thinking that every person with a dick wants to fuck me!”
She had surpassed angry and gone straight to pissed off.
“You know what…” she paused, glancing at their surroundings to see that they were nearly to her place. “Just drop me off at home.” Owen’s eyes darted to her face in alarm.
“I was planning to stay tonight,” he reminded her, the frustration now absent from his voice.
“Yeah, well, I need some space right now. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Lena was out of the car the second he’d stopped at the curb in front of her building, and she slammed the door much harder than necessary. Owen watched her storm away, his gut clenching with anxiety.
What the fuck just happened?
Lena’s front door rattled as she slammed it shut and leaned heavily against it. She took several deep breaths in the hope of shaking off her agitation, but after a few minutes, she gave up. It would take more than yoga breathing to rid her of the overwhelming anger coursing through her system. She pushed away from the door and began to pace around her living room.
How fucking dare he? she growled to herself. What should have been a happy evening spent in the company of the best friend she hadn’t seen in so long had been shadowed by a shouting match with her jealous boyfriend. He’s being ridiculous, as always. He has got to stop this…
The more Lena paced, the more worked up she became, and it wasn’t long before the petulant rebellious teenager who sometimes made her decisions for her came up with a solution. Wouldn’t that just piss him off, she muttered inwardly. Her cell phone was in her hand before she could blink, her fingers quickly scrolling to Mateo’s name. It rang… and rang… and went to voicemail.
Fuck.
Lena shoved the phone back into her pocket and went across the hall, knocking loudly on Tessa and Mateo’s door. She waited, listening for sounds from inside, but all was silent. She wanted to kick the door in frustration, but she knew that would only bring pain. Lena stomped back into her own apartment and slammed the door again, wishing like hell she hadn’t given the rest of her stash to Tessa to help her get through finals.
Lena hadn’t seen much of her friends since she’d started dating Owen, but she didn’t feel all that guilty about it. They’d always been friends of convenience more than anything else, and she’d never had much in common with them other than the desire for the occasional night of recreation and questionable activities. Lena glanced at her kitchen, willing a bottle of tequila to manifest itself on her countertop.
It didn’t.
There was really only one thing that she knew would make her feel better. One person, she amended. He’d always been able to calm her temper when she was younger, and she had no doubt he could do it again. Lena pulled out her phone and scrolled to the number he’d given her only an hour ago.
“Hey,” she sighed, already feeling better at the sound of his voice. “How about we have that sleepover tonight instead?”
Chapter 27
“Tell me you brought booze,” Lena pled as she opened the door for Logan. He lifted the grocery bag he held in his hand and gave her a dubious smile.
“I figured a couple of screwdrivers might do the job,” he replied, placing a bottle of vodka and a carton of orange juice on her kitchen counter. It wasn’t the drinking he disapproved of so much as the fact that she did it in public with a fake ID. That was risky. He didn’t see the harm in it now, however, since he would be around to keep her safe.
“Perfect.”
“You going to tell me what’s got you so pissed off?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lena shook her head, pulling two glasses from the cabinet.
“Did something happen with Owen? Did he hurt you??”
“No, of course not. It… it was just a stupid fight.” She handed him the glasses and watched him mix their drinks with a practiced hand.
“He’s in love with you,” he stated bluntly.
“I know.”
“You’re in love with him too.”
“I know,” she smiled reluctantly. “He’s a really good guy. You’ll like him once you get to know him.”
“But he pissed you off?”
“Yeah, well, no one’s perfect. We’ll work it out. I just needed a little time. I’d much rather talk about you. I wasn’t kidding, you know. You really do look like shit, and I know there’s more to it than exhaustion. So, spill.”
“Thanks,” Logan said dryly. He sighed and shook his head. “I re
ally don’t want to burden you with my bullshit.”
“Shut the fuck up. There’s no such thing between best friends,” Lena insisted. He huffed a laugh in spite of himself and took an experimental sip of his drink. “Let’s go sit in the living room.”
“Let’s just say I’m… having some re-entry problems,” he hedged, taking a seat on the couch next to her.
“What does that mean?”
“I mean that all I want to do is pretend like the past few years didn’t happen, but my dad insists on talking about the motherfucking Army every second of the day.”
“No change there, but… What are you going to do?”
“It’s already done. I had a way out, and I took it.”
“You’ve been discharged?” Lena said, relief and excitement eradicating her previous mood. “Honorably?”
“Yup.”
“Well… how do you feel about it?”
“I feel… I don’t know. Relieved, terrified, guilty…”
“I’m guessing you haven’t told your dad yet,” she winced, knowing that Gregory had been way too peppy that evening to have just received this news.
“Of course not. He’s all ‘Special Forces’ this and ‘My Son the Army Ranger’ that. He’ll probably disown me for taking the coward’s way out.”
“You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You are not a coward, and I don’t want to hear you talk about yourself that way. You’re one of the bravest people I know.” Her tone was adamant, but Logan shook his head sadly. Lena saw a glint of the torment in his eyes that she’d spotted at dinner.
“You don’t know the kinds of things I’ve done,” he whispered.
“I don’t care,” she said firmly. “All soldiers have to do things they don’t want to do. Your dad was a soldier too. He’ll understand.” Logan gave a hollow sort of laugh.
“He won’t. I haven’t told him anything about my assignments. He’d be appalled. So would you.”
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