by Kevin Kwan
Trapped by her own suggestion, Lucie could say nothing. She got out of the car again as Marian drove down the block to Cissinghurst. A few minutes later, Marian returned with a frown on her face. “No Charlotte, but it’s the oddest thing, Lucie. There were movers at the house, packing up all of Rosemary’s belongings. They couldn’t tell me much, except that she was moving out.”
“Rosemary’s moving?” Lucie pretended to be surprised.
“Yes, but I thought she had taken a one-year lease on the house. It’s so strange. No sign of Charlotte?”
“Nope.”
“Then let’s go. I’m done waiting.”
As they drove past Cissinghurst for the second time, Marian said, “I hope nothing bad has happened. Why would Rosemary suddenly give up the house? She said nothing to me Saturday night at the gala. I hope she’s not having to leave New York for good. I would be so sad. She’s become a good friend, and for the first time in ages I feel like I’m reconnecting to my Chinese roots.”
Lucie pondered her mother’s words, feeling a piercing sense of guilt. Her mother’s phone let out two chirps.
“I’m sure that’s Charlotte. Will you check it?” Marian asked.
Lucie picked up her mother’s phone and read it in annoyance. “You’re not going to believe this. For some reason Charlotte found her way to Auden’s Preppie Guru Lounge in Amagansett, and she’s requested that we pick her up there.”
“Oh, for Chrissakes! Classic Charlotte Barclay!” Marian sighed.
* Even the New York Times had to concede in 2018 that Los Angeles had become “America’s best and most exciting food city.”
XIX
The Preppie Guru Lounge
AMAGANSETT, LONG ISLAND
Lucie wandered through the healing center, peeking into the various spaces. There was an afternoon Ashtanga class in the big lotus lounge, a five elements acupuncture session in the chakra lounge, and no sign of Charlotte in the juice bar. Where could she be? Lucie walked to the back where the staff offices were and heard some voices coming from Auden’s private lounge. She poked her head in and saw Charlotte relaxing on the Flag Halyard chair facing the door.
“Lucie! Come in,” Charlotte said with a little wave.
Lucie entered the room, expecting to see Auden seated at his usual place on the sofa against the wall, but in his place sat Rosemary.
“Oh! Hi,” Lucie said, recoiling a little.
“Rosemary is here seeking temporary refuge from her movers. I took an Uber here when I found out where she was.”
“I hope I’m not interrupting you two.”
“Not at all, Lucie. Not at all,” Charlotte said with a strange look on her face.
“Um…Mom’s outside waiting.”
“Yes, I’m sure she is.” Charlotte got up from her comfy perch reluctantly and said, “I shall go to your mother.”
Lucie attempted to make a quick break for the door, but Charlotte blocked her way. “No, no, you stay.”
“What?” Lucie said in shock.
“Yes, be a dear and keep Rosemary company for a while,” Charlotte said with a smirk as she left the room.
As she arrived at the car, Marian sighed in relief. “Oh, good, Lucie found you!”
“Yes, thank you so much for coming all the way here to pick me up!” Charlotte said as she got into the convertible.
“But where’s Lucie?”
“Lucie won’t be joining us. We’d best head home first.”
“Huh? What is the girl doing now?”
“Don’t worry, she’s going to be quite occupied for a while.”
“I don’t get it. What’s Lucie up to? If she thinks I’m driving back here to pick her up, she’s out of her mind.”
“You’re quite right. She has been out of her mind, but I think she’s going to be fine now. Rosemary will set her straight.”
“Rosemary? Rosemary is here at the Preppie Guru Lounge?”
“Just drive, Marian, and I’ll explain.”
* * *
—
After Charlotte had left the room, Lucie turned to Rosemary with a sense of dread. She had known she would have to face the music eventually for all her machinations, but she didn’t expect it would happen now. She assumed Charlotte and Rosemary had talked, and all hell would break loose now.
But instead of being angry, Rosemary gazed at her mournfully. “Lucie, this is very hard for me to say, but I am sorry. Very, very sorry. I truly am ashamed.”
Lucie was baffled. “Ashamed of what?”
“I’m ashamed for my son. He finally told me everything, on Sunday morning. How he loves you. How he hurt you and embarrassed you. I’m sorry, I never knew a thing, dear. I didn’t know you two had a little romance in Capri, and I certainly didn’t know about the terrible drone thing until Charlotte just told me. Oh my, what you’ve been through all because of my silly son!”
“It’s okay, Mrs. Zao. It was a long time ago,” Lucie said, rather surprised at Rosemary’s words.
“And then for George to try to win your love again in East Hampton, when you are already engaged. Aye yie yie, my son has no shame. I know how he must have offended you and Cecil. As his mother, I am ashamed too. Because it’s all my fault.”
“How is any of this your fault?”
“I have always encouraged George to pursue his passions, to always seek out his truth and follow his heart. I just didn’t know he would go so far following his heart that he would end up hurting you like this. That’s why I have to leave.”
“You’re leaving?”
“I moved out of Shittinghurst today and I’ve also retracted my offer on the cute little apartment in your building. Who was I kidding? I would have never been accepted by that board anyway. It’s such a nice building, I’m sure they don’t want more than one Chinese family.”
Lucie sank down on the Wegner chair, not sure what to say. She had succeeded beyond her wildest imagination in getting rid of the Zaos, and now she was flooded with guilt.
“But where will you live?”
“Don’t worry about me. I have so many houses. I think I want to go back to Hong Kong for a while, and then I’ll see where George lands.”
“What do you mean ‘where George lands’?” Lucie asked.
“George resigned from his job this morning.”
“Noooo!”
“Yes, he’s going to look for a job in another city. He says it’s too painful to be here.”
“No, no, no. Can you stop him? He really shouldn’t have to give up his job.” Lucie rose from her chair in alarm.
“He wanted to quit his job.”
“But he was doing so well there! Isn’t he about to start a big new project in Queens? The apartments made out of trash?”
“It’s out of the question now, Lucie. Come on, how can my son be here, after all he’s done to you?”
“But I don’t mind, Mrs. Zao. Really, I don’t. Besides, I’m going to be away. I’m going to be traveling for the next four or five months at least with the Ortiz sisters. I’m going to Mongolia, and then I’ll be driving along the Silk Road from China to Italy. George doesn’t need to give up his job. He shouldn’t give up his job!” Lucie found herself pacing the room, hyperventilating. She was overwhelmed and angry with herself. She couldn’t stand thinking that she might have ruined George’s career.
“I don’t understand why you’re driving from China to Italy. Doesn’t Cecil have his own plane? Don’t you have to plan your big wedding?”
“There isn’t going to be a wedding, Mrs. Zao.”
“Why? Are you going to elope in Vegas?”
“Cecil and I aren’t getting married,” Lucie blurted out before she could help herself.
“Whaaaat?!”
“Yes, I ended things with Cecil last week,” Lucie confes
sed.
Rosemary’s jaw dropped, and then she said almost in a whisper, “Last week?”
“Yes.”
“Now I know why Cecil didn’t show up to your mom’s gala. I thought it was because he was scared of Cornelia Guest!”
“Well, I’m scared of her too, but that wasn’t the reason.”
“Then I’m confused. Why did you break up with Cecil? I thought you were so excited to have that big lavish wedding in Abu Dhabi.” Lucie could see Rosemary’s mind going into overdrive.
“I realized I didn’t love Cecil. I realized that I would never be the perfect trophy wife. I want a chance at a new life. I want to travel and move to Los Angeles to become an art dealer. And that’s why George should stay here. You both should stay here, Mrs. Zao. You shouldn’t have to leave your comfortable house in East Hampton. My mother would miss you so much,” Lucie pleaded, fighting back tears.
“I would miss her too. But we’ve done enough damage, Lucie. It would be too awkward for you to have to be around me and my son all the time.”
“No, it wouldn’t, Mrs. Zao. It wouldn’t at all!”
“Really? Then why did you tell him you never wanted to see him again? Why did you make him promise to leave you alone?”
“He told you that?”
“Yes, he said you commanded him never to set foot in any of your houses again. And so he won’t.”
“But I didn’t really mean it that way…”
“What did you mean then? Because he took you at your word, dear. That’s the kind of boy he is. He is true to his word, and the last thing he would ever do is hurt anyone. He would never wish to hurt you. He still loves you so much, the poor boy. I can see how he’s suffering every day.”
Lucie suddenly burst into uncontrollable sobs.
“Hiyah! Now you’re crying. Why are you crying?”
Lucie couldn’t answer through her heaving sobs.
Rosemary narrowed her eyes. “Is it because there’s some tiny part of you that actually has feelings for my son?”
“Of course I do.”
“What, you’re feeling sorry for him now?”
“I don’t feel sorry for him. I love him,” Lucie cried.
Rosemary tilted her head dubiously. “You really love my son?”
“I’ve always loved him!” As much as it hurt, Lucie felt an intense relief to finally say it.
“So why did you tell him you didn’t? Why did you have to go and break my boy’s heart?”
Lucie crumbled onto the sofa. “I don’t know. I was confused, I was ashamed. I was afraid of what my family would say…”
“Your family? Do you mean your mother?”
“My mother, yes, but also my extended family. You don’t know what it’s like for me. Ever since I was little, it’s always seemed like my mother’s only wanted me to be around my dad’s family. It’s as though Mom’s ashamed of her Chinese roots—I hardly ever see my Chinese grandparents. I know she rebelled against her parents by marrying my dad, and I didn’t think she’d ever want me to fall in love with a Chinese boy either. And I thought my father’s family would be disappointed in me if I didn’t marry some billionaire prince. I’ve been in a no-win situation all my life. My Chinese relatives treat me like I’m some sort of precious unicorn, too good to be one of them, and my WASP relatives treat me like I’m not good enough for them,” Lucie cried.
Rosemary put her arms around Lucie as her tears kept falling. “You poor muddled girl! You’ve been deluded into being racist toward yourself! You don’t even know how strong your mother is. She’s not ashamed of her Asian roots at all! Do you want to know what she told me a few weeks ago? We had a long talk late one night on the beach, and she told me she made a decision to sacrifice her own family so that you and Freddie could spend as much time as you could with your Churchill family. Because she felt that you got plenty of Chinese influence with her at home, she wanted the both of you to maintain as strong of a link as possible to your father. She was so sad that you lost him at such a young age, and she felt terrible that she got so sick she couldn’t help you deal with it properly at the time.”
Lucie was stunned. “Why did she never tell me this?”
“I don’t know.” Rosemary sighed. “Why do mothers and their children never tell each other the most important things?”
They sat silently next to each other for a long while. As she dried her tears, Lucie spoke up again.
“Mrs. Zao, it’s my turn to say sorry. I’m so sorry for all I put you and George through. I never wanted to hurt him either, and I hope he’ll be able to forgive me.”
“I know he will.”
“I love your son, and I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks anymore!”
“No one will think anything, dear. They will keep loving you, and I know they will love my son. It makes me so sad that you’ve wasted so much time deceiving yourself thinking that it would be any different.”
Lucie broke into a smile. Cornelia was right. Lucie had done nothing but deceive herself, and the deception hadn’t just begun this summer. It had started all those years ago in Capri, at the moment she had been caught with George at Villa Jovis. That moment had changed everything. It had threatened to explode her whole world, and it sent her into a tailspin. It had forced her unconsciously to lock up her body and soul, and it made her seek out safe harbor with Cecil Pike, a man who she knew could never break her heart.
“I don’t know what came over me, Mrs. Zao. It’s like I’ve been trapped in a bubble for so long…since Capri, actually…It’s like I’ve been sleepwalking through my life ever since.”
“I understand. Something fateful happened in Capri that changed you and George. It changed the both of you forever.”
Lucie sat up properly and gave Rosemary an awkward look. “There’s something else I really need to apologize for, Mrs. Zao…”
“If it’s about the co-op thing, I already know.”
“You do?”
“Yes, Ms. Ferrer sat next to me at your mother’s party. We had a very long talk. She wanted to know all about my years as a prostitute in Lan Kwai Fong.”
III
· MAY 2019 ·
From: Charlotte Barclay
To: [email protected]
Subject: Catching up!
Dear Lucie,
Thank you for the lovely postcard. It’s filling me with wanderlust and making me wish I had more time to travel! Speaking of which, guess what I’ve managed to convince your mother to do? After the huge success of her Chinese cooking classes with Rosemary at the Preppie Guru Lounge last fall, we are bringing their classes to London this summer! Yes, it’s high time Londoners experience some truly authentic Chinese home cooking, and I’ve already found the most wonderful venue for them, thanks to the generosity of my friend Yotam Ottolenghi, and I can’t wait for everyone here to experience their double act.
I don’t know how much you’ve been keeping up with the news since you have been so busy, but I think you’ll be amused to know that Cecil’s torrid romance/international incident has been filling up tabloid space both in the U.S. and here in the UK. He helped this beautiful Middle Eastern princess, HRH Sheika Kiza,* whom he met at the Paris couture shows, escape her awful husband. Apparently she was so taken by Cecil’s knowledge of Judy Chicago and feminist art that she decided to reclaim her divine feminine power, fled in the dead of night, and was taken aboard Cecil’s super yacht, which was secretly anchored in the Gulf of Aden. They are now safely ensconced in London, where she is suing her husband for divorce and seeking full custody of their child, the little prince. No doubt she will be well protected by Cecil and his mother’s lawyers! Mordecai told me that Cecil’s tapped him to oversee a new decorating team to make his mansion fit for the princess, and Olivia is in talks with them to do a documentary about the whole situation. BTW, how
is her film project going with George?
Meanwhile, the new Preppie Guru Lounge in Shoreditch is progressing nicely. Auden and I hope we can open by September (fingers crossed!) and I’ll be able to transition from full-time with Mary Berry to a project-by-project basis as I help Auden launch in London. He’s back in New York teaching a flower essence therapy class at the moment, and as much as I adore him, to tell you the truth it’s nice to have the flat to myself for a few days (the towel alignment training is still under way). We’ll know before the end of the month whether we can visit you in July. I know I sound like a broken record, but I’m trying to work around some deadlines.
I saved the best for last…I saw Cacky at the Central Park Conservancy Luncheon (wearing the most ridiculous hat!), and of course she couldn’t wait to casually drop that she has been given an audience with the pope this summer—thanks to the intercession of her new BFF Renée Pike—and she’s bringing Granny along to the Vatican. After Rome, they want to visit you and Prince George in Capri. Believe it or not, Granny wants to spend more time getting to know George, because some Norwegian countess who’s part of her bridge club in Hobe Sound told her that he’s a direct descendant of Qing dynasty emperors! You’ve been warned.
Love,
Charlotte
* Before marrying one of the richest royals in the world, converting to Islam, and taking on her Arabic name, Her Royal Highness Sheika Kiza was married to two of the wealthiest men in Asia. Kiza in Arabic, by the way, means “kitty.”
From: Lucie Churchill
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Catching up!
Dear Charlotte,
I can’t believe that silly story that Cecil made up about George is still making the rounds. Is Harry Stuyvesant Fish spending my tax dollars bragging about his precious tenants over lavish diplomatic dinners at the U.S. Consulate in Norway? If Cacky and Granny do end up coming to Capri, I’m sure George will be gracious enough to give them the royal treatment. (Not sure about me.)