by J. J. Sorel
I headed for the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills I’d spied earlier in the cabinet. I sprinkled two little tablets onto my palm.
“They’re strong. Take only one. You’re not used to them,” said Aidan, who had done nothing but follow me from the moment we’d arrived back.
I swallowed one pill and chased it with a palmful of water from the basin.
A large bath of hot water awaited me. I disrobed and tested the water with my hand. In better times, Aidan would jump in with me. His muscular thighs would wrap around me while his heavy erection, hot and ready, pushed impatiently against my skin.
Aidan’s eyes darkened with need as I stood naked before him, leaving a burn mark on my cold skin. I could smell his desire. I could also see it. Aidan’s large cock, as always, gave the game away in the shape of a large bulge tenting out his gym pants. “Is that a good idea, Clarissa, with the sedative?”
I shrugged.
“Please talk to me.” His eyebrows drew in tight.
“Aidan, I have nothing to say at the moment. I’m kind of barren.” A tear rolled down my face.
He held me, but instead of melding into his big frame and regaling in his masculine form, as my body normally did, I was frigid and tight. Aidan removed his arms.
“I love you so much, it hurts. I have never loved anyone like I love you, Clarissa. Without you, I can’t function. I’m just as fragile and vulnerable as you, if not more. The love I feel for you has made me that way.”
“Then I’m not good for you if I make you that fragile.”
He combed back his mess of hair. “It’s not what I meant.” He touched his heart. “You’re a part of me, Clarissa Moone. We’re sewn at the hip, the heart and the soul.”
A tear chased the other. My eyes drank his softened blue gaze. Their enchantment radiated through to my body, which had started to thaw. How could a man be even more beautiful when torn? Aidan, with that mess of hair from his incessant fingering, made my heart melt.
“That’s how I feel too, Aidan. I can’t breathe without you. But I also couldn’t breathe seeing Jessica touching you.”
Aidan pulled down his pants and lifted his T-shirt over his head. He approached the bath. His hard, naked body, combined with the heat of the bath, had relaxed the noisy confusion in my mind. The sedative helped. I made room for him in the bath.
“That’s what she wanted to do. She wanted to tear us apart,” he said as he lowered himself into the water.
He took me in his arms and kissed my cheek. This time, my body softened into his big, curvy strong arms.
My heart unraveled and started to pump warmth around my veins again.
I licked my lips to accommodate Aidan’s crushing mouth, which expressed the desperation of one who had almost lost something desperately dear.
The sedative, the heat of the bath, and Aidan’s big, beautiful frame holding me sent a reassuring and divine ache through my body.
My back fell sedately into Aidan’s arms as he wrapped his strong thighs around me.
“Let’s get married tomorrow, then we’ll go to Europe the next day,” he said with that clit-swelling rasp that tickled my ear.
“No. Let’s do it properly. I’ve got a beautiful dress. I like the idea of seeing photos of me in it and you looking all dishy in a tux.”
He laughed. “Yes, something to show to all our children.”
I pulled away and looked at him. “All our children? How many do you
want?”
He shrugged. “As many as you want, princess. I must admit the thought
of a dark-haired, large-brown-eyed little cutie running around sends shivers of warmth through me.”
“Will you still want me after I’ve had babies? I’ve heard that a woman’s body changes.”
Aidan stroked my hair, and my heavy head fell onto his shoulder. “I will love you and desire you forever, Clarissa. Of that, I am more than certain.”
My eyes struggled to stay open. I slurred, “That’s nice.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
The next day I awoke and found Tabitha sitting by the bed. I looked up at the French clock on the mantel and saw that it was midday. My eyelids were heavy, and I felt groggy.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” she said with a large smile, placing a tray of coffee and muffins down by the bed.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “Shit. It’s really late. I don’t think I’ve ever slept this late. Where’s Aidan?”
“He had to go to the police station. He dropped in first thing this morning and asked if I’d come over and babysit his favorite gal. And mine too.” She was as ebullient as always. Like darkened eyes to sunlight, I had to adjust my sleepy brain to accommodate her exuberance.
“Oh?” I sat up and placed cushions against my back. I was naked and looked about for something to put on.”
“Shit, Clary. I forgot how huge your tits were. No wonder Aidan can’t keep his hands off you.”
I had to laugh. “Can you pass me that T-shirt over there, please?”
Tabitha picked up Aidan’s Led Zeppelin T-shirt off the chair and handed it to me.
As I slipped it over my head, a whiff of Aidan flitted up my nose, sending an immediate whoosh of heat through me. It was the first morning since moving in with Aidan that we hadn’t made love. My body complained, especially with that addictive scent dazzling my senses.
“Thanks for the coffee,” I said, leaning over to the tray. My stomach rumbled. I realized I hadn’t eaten anything much the previous day.
I took a blueberry muffin and bit into it. Oozing warm, runny jam, and melting in my mouth, it was almost as good as sex.
“Yum,” I said. “I’m starving.”
“Good to see.” Tabitha took one, as well. “Wow, they’re yummy, all right.”
“Cooked here daily. Can you imagine how fat I’m going to get?”
“You’re not fat, Clary. If anything, you’ve lost weight, except for your boobs. They’ve gained. I think you’re the envy of every female in the world.”
I giggled. I was glad she was there.
“Did Aidan tell you what happened?”
“Yep. That’s why he dropped in. It was great timing,” she said with a wry grin.
“Let me guess, you and Grant were at it?”
She nodded with a twinkle in her eyes. “It just gets better, Clary. He’s fucking hot sex on tap.”
“Okay, okay. Tell me about that later. But first, tell me about Aidan coming over.”
“Yeah, well, he looked as if he’d had a big night. Grant could see he needed him, so I left them to it. But Aidan asked me to stay. Which I liked, you know? It made me feel like I was part of the family.”
“You are part of the family, Tabs. Aidan probably drank too much last night. That’s why he looked the way he did. I was knocked out by a sedative.”
“I know. Fuck, Clary. What an ordeal. Aidan told us all about it.” She took a sip of her coffee and touched my hand. “Are you okay now?”
“I suppose so. I was pretty freaked out last night. But a bath and a sleeping pill kind of helped me regain some sense of proportion. I mean, for a while there, I went haywire. My mind did. Aidan said some bone-melting things, and slowly, I came back.”
“He loves you madly, Clary. All he did this morning was pace in our kitchen, combing his hair back with his hands and talking about what he would have done if they had touched you. Fuck, he’s intense. Just like his yummy dad.”
I could just see him doing that and smiled. “Did he tell you that Jessica tried to make him fuck her in front of me?”
Her lips twisted downward. “Uh-huh.” She shook her head. “Fuck, she sounds really twisted.”
I sighed deeply. “She’s seriously still in love with him. I can understand it. He’s like nothing else. In fact, half of the time, I feel like I’m tripping or that I’m in some film that has an extended happy ending.”
Tabitha laughed. “Speaking of fairy tales, there’s your wedding, whi
ch is now only four weeks away. What about if the service is under the arch, with the roses creeping around it? Just like your father’s wedding. Since you want a garden service.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, it’s hard to surpass. In the rose garden. I love it there. It’s where Aidan first asked me out.”
“Really?”
“It wasn’t really a date as such. A bit more organic than that. It was so sweet.” I smiled, reliving our first time, as I’d done on so many occasions. It was as though there was a happy switch in my mind. When I needed a hit, I’d bring up the scene of Aidan and those breathtaking turquoise eyes. Not to mention his lips, which were like magnets for mine.
“He asked me to go for a walk with him, and before I knew it, I was having dinner on his yacht.” I cocked a brow.
“And he took your innocence.”
My body liquefied with warm, fuzzy feelings as I replayed the magical night. But then every night with Aidan sent the same shivery sensations sweeping through me.
“The garden it is. And for catering, I’ll talk to Will.”
“I’m just looking forward to wearing that dreamy thirties dress.”
Tabitha stretched her arms. “I can’t wait to see you in it, Clary.” Her eyes sparkled with contagious excitement. My good friend had managed to sweep the cobwebs from the previous day’s drama away.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
AIDAN
“Hey, Kieren, thanks for seeing me quickly,” I said, stepping through the door that he held open for me.
“That’s what I am here for.” He stretched out his arm. “Go on through.”
I lowered myself onto the armchair, and immediately, my muscles relaxed into the comfortable cushions. As always, whenever I visited that room, my eyes zeroed in on the colorful fish swimming behind the glass tank. I reminded myself to arrange for a large tank to be installed at the estate. If only to give my mind, which tended to overthink, a meditative focus. Art did that for me most of the time, but the floaty little exotic creatures took me somewhere else.
Kieren sat down. “I read about the abduction. It was in the media.”
I scratched my prickly jaw, which was crying out for a razor. “Yeah, the goddamn circus is out and about. I tried to keep it out of the spotlight, but with the police involved, it’s not possible.” I exhaled a tight breath. “John Mansfield, Jessica’s father, cornered me, and with that dogged businessman persistence, tried to make me agree not to press charges, even though that’s up to Clarissa. He promised he’d send Jessica overseas for a long stint. He assured me he’d deal with her his own way.”
“You don’t sound too pleased with that arrangement,” said Kieren.
“You got that right.” I sat forward and rested my chin on my hands. “When I was in the Forces, I had to make decisions on the spot. Decisions that had life-or-death consequences. But in the war zone of love and romance, I’m in a fucking haze. My training has gone out the window. I’m just a muddled mess.”
“I take it you left it open for the moment.”
“I didn’t tell him my decision. I need to discuss it with Clarissa. It will be her decision in the end, though I suspect she’ll probably leave it up to me, because being the kind-hearted soul she is, Clarissa will find it difficult to press charges. For a moment there, after hearing Mansfield’s proposal, I was fine with the idea of sending Jessica off and strapping an order against her not to approach Clarissa or me, but then, as she was leaving she threw me this smug look, telling me she hadn’t finished with me yet.”
“She’s determined.”
“Jessica’s a deranged drug-addict. She’s a spoiled brat who has had everything given to her all her life. If she can’t have something, it takes over her life. I will do my utmost to get Clarissa to press charges.” I sighed loudly.
“Your voice is filled with dread, Aidan. It is the right thing to do, though. She had murderous intentions.”
“I totally agree. But it’s the court hearing and media frenzy. And it will go on and on. All my dirty laundry on display to the world. I couldn’t give a shit about me. It’s Clarissa that I’m trying to protect here. She’s such a sweet, sensitive girl, and to be dragged through this bullshit...”
“I can understand your predicament. What about Clarissa? Have you asked her how she feels about pressing charges?”
I shook my head. “I’m trying not to bring it up. She’s teetering on the verge of leaving me, I think.”
“What gives you that impression? The gossip columns show constant images of love between you. I can see it in her eyes.”
“You’ve seen those?” I was unable to hide my surprise. Kieren was a pipe-and-Hemingway kind of man, similar to Julian.
“You forget I have an eighteen-year-old daughter.” He cocked his head.
I nodded. “Clarissa was so cold and withdrawn last night. I felt that she was blaming me. And to be honest, it is my fault. If I hadn’t been with Jessica, all of this wouldn’t be happening. Clarissa was also the victim of an incident on the highway that nearly took her life. Jessica hired a hitman to kill Clarissa.”
Kieren sat up, his brow lowered. “That’s very serious. Clarissa must be traumatized by all this. Anybody would be.”
I nodded. “She is. I’ve tried everything to get her to a counselor or to visit you, but she doesn’t want to. Instead, she has her close friend, Tabitha, who she talks to about everything, I suspect.”
“You told me that her mother died in a car accident that Clarissa was a passenger in. And that she didn’t speak for a year after that.”
“Yeah, poor baby,” I said. “You know, it’s not indecision about Jessica that brings me here, even though I wouldn’t mind getting your thoughts on that. It’s this rage that’s burning inside of me. I wanted to knock Jessica out. Even when she tossed me that smarmy, I-get-whatever-I-want gaze, my fists were so tight, I had to use all my inner strength not to hit her.”
“Are you frightened that you might try to hurt her?”
I exhaled a tight breath. “When I was in that room with her, I squeezed every ounce of self-control I could muster. I ended up putting a hole in the wall above her head.”
Kieren peered down at my knuckles and noticed the bruising. “But you didn’t, which proves your cut-off switch is functioning.”
“Yeah, well, sort of, I suppose. It causes tightness in my chest that hurts. But look, I just needed to speak honestly about it to someone. I can’t tell Clarissa that I wanted to knock Jessica out, because I don’t want her to get the impression that I’m one of those uncultivated brutes.”
“It’s instinct, Aidan, that desperate need to protect those we love dearly. The primal survival mechanism in the brain doesn’t distinguish between genders. As it is, Jessica was threatening Clarissa.” He paused to reflect. “Tell me, what did she make you do?”
My back stiffened. “She wanted me to have sex with her in front of Clarissa.”
His brows drew in tight. “That’s wielding an ax, for sure. Had it taken place, it would have strained your relationship. I take it you didn’t get that far?”
I shook my head. “To be honest, I was flaccid. But she was about to blow me.” I shifted awkwardly. It felt as if I were confessing something sordid to an old relative. “You know how the male anatomy is when it’s coaxed.”
“One does hear of females raping males. It’s not common, but it happens.”
“Anyway, it didn’t, thank God. My wedding is four weeks away.”
“Oh good, you’ve made a date.”
“You didn’t get the invite?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“I’ll get onto it. I’d love you to come along with your family, and for you to finally meet Clarissa. I only hope…”
“You only hope?”
“It goes ahead.”
“Aidan, I’m sure it will. With regards to the media circus and getting Jessica put away... I, personally, would charge her. But do what you think best. Would her fathe
r be able to tame her?”
“He told me he’d cut off her funds. Jessica has lived a very privileged existence all her life, so I imagine that would be serious punishment.”
“Well, then, you could try to risk it, I suppose. But she doesn’t strike me as someone who will stop harassing you.”
“That’s what I think. I have enough evidence to link her to the attempted murder. That alone would see her taken down.” I stood up, feeling decisive and determined. “You know what? I’m going to make sure she has her day in court. I won’t be able to rest, knowing that she could harm Clarissa again.”
“I agree, Aidan. It’s for the best.”
I shook Kieren’s hand. “Thanks for finding time for me. And I look forward to seeing you at my wedding.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
I sat in my car and made the call. My hand trembled. Media circus or not, Jessica was going to have her day in court. With Chris’s testimony, no fancy lawyer would be able to get her off. Or at least I hoped. I even called Chris again to check to see if he was still on board. He was more than determined to help. He was very fond of Clarissa, and for once, I wasn’t jealous.
When I returned home, I found Clarissa in the office with Tabitha. They had been drafting the invites and were giggling and being rowdy.
I poked my head in, and Clarissa gazed up at me with her big, velvety eyes and smiled. All the tangled mess of tight muscles loosened as warmth swept through me.
I was determined not to talk about Jessica and the police. It was going to be our night.
“Can you include Kieren Tyler and his family in the invite list, baby?”
“Of course.”
Tabitha looked up and said, “The more the merrier. I’m trying to convince Clary to have a big fat wedding.”
I grinned. “Make it any way you want. As I long as you’re there on the day, I don’t mind who’s watching.”