“You’re going to be tired tomorrow.”
“Fuck o—"
I screamed when the window exploded. Glass sucked out of its frame. Beid was on top of me within a second, shielding me with his body. Whispers crawled along the walls.
“Give up.” “What’s the point?” “Just let go.” “He doesn’t care.” “Easier to be alone.” They were my thoughts, on full volume. Played on a loop. “Not his type.” “Not pretty enough.” “Stupid.” “Why would he care?”
Tears shot through the fear, and shame drowned out my will to fight. Beid could hear all of it, all of my deepest doubts and fears. I sobbed and screamed, gasping for air. Pale faces pressed against the ceiling, bulging, and stretching.
Suddenly hands covered my ears. “Don’t listen to them, Mira. Look at me. Don’t listen.” Beid kept repeating it, until we locked eyes.
“Your fault.” “Liar” “No one loves you.”
The whispers changed when they couldn’t reach me behind Beid’s hands. They attacked him now, vicious words slicing for the jugular.
“She’ll never love you.” “You killed her.” “Judas.” “Betrayer.” “Do it again.” “She’ll always love him.” “Always choose him.” “Worthless.” Expendable.” “No wonder she chose him.”
I flinched when tears hit my face. Beid had pressed his eyes shut, tears forcing their way between his thick lashes. His lips trembled, his hands shook over my ears. My heart rushed. I struggled my hands free and pressed them to his ears. We needed Cas. Or Lux. I wanted Lux. I pulled Beid’s head to my shoulder, and deep sobs rattled his body as the brutal whispers bounced between the walls.
“Don’t listen. Don’t listen. Don’t listen.” I repeated it until the words lost their meaning.
“Nothing you can do.” “You’re worthless.” “Nobody cares.” “She died because of you.”
Another brick outside the door to my emotions, and another. Had to close it off. No room for feelings. Had to shut it off. My eyes flew open, the cold hammered through my chest. I pushed at Beid, struggled to get him off me. He rolled to the side, hands to his ears, curled up into a ball. I climbed off the bed. The voices stuttered. Faces, pale and eyeless, faded in and out around the room. I studied them and the way they swayed, as if displayed on white sheets drying in the wind.
“He doesn’t want you.” “You’re…” There’s…” The sentences never finished. The wailing increased with every unfinished whisper.
“Get out!” I pointed a finger to the window. “You can’t hurt me.” Another brick. “Leave.” Rage rose through my legs, boiling into my groin. The pressure rose. “Get out!” I roared. Light exploded through the room, blinding me. I shielded my eyes with my arm, and blinked to adjust to the darkness that followed. Silence. I straightened my back. Ice settled around my heart.
“Beid? Are you okay?” I asked over my shoulder. My hair tussled in the cold winds rushing through the broken window. “Beid?” I spun.
He sat on the bed. His eyes shimmered when the pale light of the moon got caught in them. “Mira?”
“What?” I hurried to the bed, hand reaching for his arm. “Oh, my god.” I stumbled back. A soft violet light shimmered on my skin. “What is this?” I swatted at the flames.
“We need to call Cas.”
“No!” I gasped. “We can’t. Please, don’t tell anyone.”
“Mira. We have to.”
I flexed my hands. Studied them. Beid sucked in a sniveling breath.
“Oh. I’m so sorry. Hang on.” I hurried to the bathroom, and brought him a box of tissues. I sat next to him, doing my best to ignore the glow radiating from me. “Are you okay? What were those things?”
“Breakers.” He blew his nose. “One of the many ways the Sins like to torment their souls.”
“That? They weren’t that bad.” I shrugged.
“I’ve never seen anyone… How did you do that?”
“I just stopped caring.”
He glanced at me, brows pulled low. “Stopped caring?”
“Yeah.” I smiled. The glow dimmed around my hands. “Sweet. It’s going away. Is this something they do too? Cover you in flames?”
He slowly shook his heavy head. “No. That’s something Stars do.”
My jaw dropped, and I stared at him. “What?”
“We need to call Cas,” he insisted, and pulled the phone from his pocket.
“No.” I grabbed his hands. “Please, don’t. Not tonight.”
A deep sigh escaped his lips. “Fine. But we can’t stay here.” He nodded to the broken window.
“Right, okay.” I gathered up the phone, and my toothbrush. “Lead the way.”
“Wow...?” I gawked at the brightly patterned pillows on the bed. “Sure this is the right room?”
“Yes,” Beid grumbled. “Why?” He scratched the back of his neck and his eyes fluttered.
“It’s just… I didn’t imagine you having such… colorful decorations.”
“I like colors.” Something tugged at his lips.
I clasped a hand over my mouth with a squeal. “Oh, my god. Beid? Were you almost smiling right now?”
His face closed, but a flush rose to his cheeks. “Shut up.”
I bit my lips to stop from laughing. “I thought that was my line.”
“Fuck off.” He surrendered to the twitch and laughed, and his face transformed with the release of his smile. Warmth seeped into my soul at the sight of him. “You should laugh more often.”
“Really? Why?” The chuckle continued, to my delight.
“It makes you look human.”
“I’m not.”
“Who cares.” The smile faded, and I berated myself for it.
“Thank you.”
My breath hitched. “What?”
Beid's eyes locked on mine. “Thank you. For not asking questions.”
This was usually where I made a joke, or said something sarcastic to break out of the emotionally uncomfortable moment. But after what we just went through, I just smiled, and replied. “You’re welcome.”
“How about we grab some coffee? I doubt we’ll get much sleep anyway.” He shuffled out of the moment, and guided me through the door.
A girl padded past us in the otherwise quiet hall. Her passing, however, pulled my attention with a familiar scent, and barbed wire tangled around my senses. Cedar. His scent on her? Dryness clung to my mouth, and my throat tightened.
Beid caught a glance of my face, his brows knitting above the bridge of his nose. “What’s wrong?”
Hands drove deep in my pockets, I shrugged. “Nothing,” I said in a hushed voice. With a cough, I cleared the lump from my throat. “Please. Can we keep the glowy thing between us? I’m weird enough as it is.”
Beid shoved his hands into his back pockets, shoulders pulled tight to his ears. “Sure.”
“Thank you.”
Chapter 36
One week, that’s how long I lasted in Beid’s room before I gave up. The constant parade of girls entering and leaving Lux’s room was enough for me to wish for Breakers. The wall around my heart grew, brick by brick.
“Find me somewhere else to stay, or at least fix the window in my room.” I hated being the one to put more shit on Cas’ plate, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed room to breathe. He looked at me with hollowed eyes. Guess sleep wasn’t coming easy with his girlfriend missing. Not to mention Bjorg. Most of the students had been sent home after the disappearance, but there were still plenty of people left for him to worry about. There’d been no sign of Bjorg or Caroli, but Cas was relentless in his search, driving himself into the arms of exhaustion.
“I promise to take care of it. Just try to put up with Beid for a few more days.”
Unaware of what had happened, he still thought Beid was the problem. That wasn’t good. That meant he hadn’t heard me. “Okay.” Guilt reared its ugly face. I scratched my earlobe, and coughed. “No luck, huh?”
He rubbed his face, agony chise
led in every line. “No. I can’t hear them, and Beid can’t sense them. It’s bad.”
“Beid can sense people?”
He scanned the paper on the desk with tired eyes. “He’s a tracker. The best one we have, but it’s no use.” With stiff fingers, he crumpled the paper. “I don’t know what else we can do.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No.” He exhaled noisily. “But thank you.”
For someone like Cas, someone always ready to lead, and set on finding solutions, the realization that he faced a problem he couldn’t fix, was clearly killing him.
“Cas?” I edged closer. “Have you eaten anything?”
“I’m sorry.” He raked a hand through his tangled waves. “Go. I don’t want you to miss lunch," he said with a strained smile that didn’t quiet reach his eyes.
With careful hands, I moved the papers away and laced my fingers around his. “You need to eat. You can’t find them if you pass out.”
His eyes lifted, blinked, as if he saw me for the first time. “Can you call Aym?”
“Yeah. I’ll do it as soon as you’ve eaten.”
His head drooped over the desk, and he untangled from my fingers. “I can’t. I have to keep looking.”
“Okay. I’ll go get you a plate, and as soon as you’ve eaten I’ll call for Aym.”
“Thank you.” The flat tone strangled my heart. I paused at the door, and with a tight chest watched his slumped figure lean heavily over the desk. Altair was still out looking for the girls, along with Aris and Rigel. My soul ached at the sight of Cas’ desperation. I closed the door behind me, and my eyes caught a glimpse of Lux disappearing into the library. I gritted my teeth. Annoyance slithered its sticky tentacles along my back. He clearly didn’t care about the missing girls. He didn’t care about anyone. I clenched my fists at the storm clouds gathering in my mind.
Chapter 37
I curled around my plate, my shoulders pulled tight. Cas had taken a few bites of the food I brought him, and I’d called for Aym. But he didn’t show. I hadn’t seen him since our visit to the portal, and when he didn’t show, I couldn’t help but worry.
“What’s up with you? How’s life?” Kaito asked after taking a seat at my table.
“I’m great. Dandy. Over the moon, and on top of the world.” I stifled a yawn, and stabbed an unsuspecting piece of potato with my fork. “How’s the love life?”
Salma bent her head deeper over her plate. I looked to Kaito, who grimaced at me with a scowl.
“What?”
He shook his head and slapped his fork on the table. “I have no idea. Aris’ not talking to me, he completely blanked me, and now he walks away every time he sees me.”
“Sorry, dude. I know how you feel.”
“Lux?”
“Cold shoulder. Completely ignored.” I pined. “You’re lucky you’re not chasing after guys.” I leaned my head on Salma’s shoulder, and got a front row seat to the crimson creeping up her neck.
“You are?”
She waved her hands in front of her. “No, no. Walla, I’m not.”
I glanced over at Kaito.
A flash of guilt, and he said, “You know what? I’ve been a shitty friend. I’ve been so wrapped in myself I forgot to check in on you.”
“Me too. I’m sorry.”
We shared a glance when the uncomfortable feeling of being the center of attention brought tiny beads of sweat to Salma’s upper lip.
“So? Who is he, or she. We’re not judging.” Before Salma could answer, Tell tossed himself into the chair next to me. “Hello, wha’d a miss?”
Salma gathered her books together. “I have to go.” She refused to look at me or Kaito when she got to her feet and hasted out the door.
“Was it something a said?” Tell chuckled.
“Oh. This is amazing.” Kaito’s eyes shone with excitement. He bounced to his feet. “I’ll be back, as soon as I get her to spill.”
Tell snatched the last piece of my sandwich from the plate when Kaito rushed after Salma.
“Bonnie? Where’s Beid? He ain’t run off I hope.” Tell asked, mouth full of bread.
“Nah, he forgot his phone, and said something about talking to Ain.”
“Ya look like sheit.”
“Such a charmer.”
Black boots landed nonchalantly on the table, and he laced his fingers behind his head. “Ya look like ya need an adventure.”
My eyes narrowed at his use of that particular word. I moved my plate a few inches away from his boots, and cradled my cup of coffee. “Not really, no.”
The prospect of having to spend another night next door to Lux chiseled at the bricks in my chest.
Tell tossed his legs off the table and bounced to his feet. “Enough. Yer killin’ me with the sad face.” Fingers gripped my wrist, and I was whisked to my feet.
“Where are you taking me?” I leaned back against Tell’s grip.
“The gym.”
The swift exhale through my nose lured a chortle from him.
“Why? Seriously, I’m not that into training.”
“Just shut yer trap, and trust me.”
My feet dragged across the green floor, the squeaks echoing between the walls. “Now what?” Air lurched through my mouth when my feet lost contact with the ground.
“What is this?” I searched for Tell, who was still on the floor. His pale lips curled into a joyful smile, hand tilted, palm up.
“Ya trust me?”
Fingers splayed for balance, my heart raced in my chest. Warmth tingled down along my legs. “Yes.”
I shot through the air, screaming laughter bubbling up my stomach. “This is amazing.” The walls flew by, team jerseys created a colored blur around me.
“Glad you like it,” Tell hollered.
“Are you kidding? I love it!” I stretched my hands in front of me. “Look. I’m Superman.”
Tell’s hearty laughter followed me around the gym, as I dipped and pivoted through the air. I ran a finger across the ceiling, my hair brushed the floor. I shone down on Tell when he brought me up to the ceiling again.
“Stop that. Right now!” The furious roar reached every inch of the room, and I dropped, almost as fast as my mood, to the floor. Lux thunderstormed his way to Tell, grabbing him by the sweater, and shaking him violently. “Are you really that stupid? What the hell were you thinking?”
Tell held up his hands, stuttering between the brisk shakes. “She needed a break. A canny watch her burn out.”
I dashed across the floor as jealousy and embarrassment boiled in my gut. Every emotion I’d worked so hard to kill during the isolated weeks in Beid’s room, images of Lux with random women in his bed, the memory of his kiss, and the callous way he’d walked away—
The sound my hand made when it hit Lux’s cheek rang in my ears... and all the way to the sliver of self-preservation I had left in my soul.
Crap! He was gonna kill me. I gaped at the increasingly red mark decorating his cheek. My fingers on display, for the world to see. Or at least the people at this school, cause that wasn’t going away anytime soon. Fire flashed behind his eyes. Time slowed. Northern lights exploded across his dark blue irises. I swayed, my mind numbing. A melody played lovingly in my head.
Surrounded by a warm blanket, I fell back into a sea of silk.
Chapter 38
"Mira? What are you doing?"
The demanding voice pulled me from the soft susurration of warm winds over flowery meadows. I blinked away the daze. “Where am I?” Frayed cardboard boxes, stacked along the walls. A ripped curtain swayed as the wind grabbed it through the cracks around the window. The attic floor chilled my bare feet. “Where are my shoes?”
“What are you doing up here? The whole school’s been looking for you for hours. You scared us.”
“I did?” What happened? I reached into my memory, but the darkness grew, cutting off every attempt to remember. “I should let them know I’m okay.” Head
throbbing with confusion, I turned to the door.
“Are you?” Daniel’s voice rose to a piercing pitch. Shrill laughter bounced along the damp attic walls. “Are you, Mira?”
Spine rigid, I turned to face Daniel. His body cracked, and twisted. A mask of lifeless pain contorted through the fine lines of his face. Icicles pierced through my heart. My breath stuttered. “No. Please. Not him.” I stumbled back, hand to my chest.
“Give me the key!” Daniel sneered, his eyes flashing a venomous green under lowered lids.
I put my palm up, and edged back. “What are you doing? Please stop hurting him.”
The demon’s voice burned through his chest, acerbic, and raw. Daniel’s neck cracked with every twitch of his head. Lips pulled back in a snarl. “Key!”
My fingers closed around it. “No. I can’t. Please, don’t do this.” I knew it wasn’t Daniel anymore, and by the unnatural angle of his head, I knew it would never be Daniel again. The monster inside him had ended every wish and dream Daniel ever had. I blinked rapidly to keep the tears from blurring my vision. This was my fault. The weight of it all bound itself around my chest, and burrowed its claws into my heart. Stealing each breath.
The door rattled. “Mira?”
The monster’s eyes gleamed, and fingers flicked. “The key, or I’ll kill more of your precious friends.”
Sweat gathered in the lines of my cold hands. Cas’ voice vibrated with worry through the door. “Mira? Are you in there?”
The monster possessing Daniel’s body put a finger to his lips. He stretched out a hand, gesturing with his fingers at the key. I couldn’t. The trembling of breaths pierced my ears while I waited, hoping Cas would leave. A sigh of relief escaped me when the door didn’t rattle again. The fear dripped off me, slipping off my fingers, leaving me cold.
With my thumb, I pulled the chain free from under my top. Green eyes gleamed at the sight of the key. “How do you plan on taking it from me? Since you can’t touch it?” A spiteful laugh tinkered inside my mind. I tilted my head, eyes pinned on the still shifting parts of Daniel’s face. The door exploded into a million pieces behind me, and rained over us.
Before Limbo (After Life Book 1) Page 13