The bridge between human life and the afterlife was cushioned with static. “Yes,” she finally said. “The last night I was here. She was so nervous. Wait, you made that huge bid for her, didn’t you?”
Her memory was much sharper than most new vampires. Olivia was not to be underestimated. “I did. Because of her, we found you.”
“You kept her?”
“I did. And once you’re ready, she’d love to see you.”
Chapter Sixteen
CORYNNE
“You changed her. Just like that.” I wasn’t mad that Olivia became a vampire before me. Really, I wasn’t. Envious? Hell yes.
Watching Nash get dressed was like watching performance art. He didn’t wear anything flashy, and I had no idea if his clothes were expensive or not, just that they looked amazing on him. But he took great pride in his appearance. Today he’d chosen a red shirt that someone had pressed perfectly. He’d tucked it carefully into his signature black dress pants, and looped a butter-soft leather belt around his slim waist. He didn’t look up from attaching his cufflinks as I sat on his bed and pouted.
“That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? She’d be dead if I hadn’t.”
“She’s dead now.” I laughed at my own joke. I shifted onto my stomach, but Nash wasn’t paying attention. It didn’t matter, I loved watching him, getting to know all his mannerisms, and trying to guess what he was thinking. The more of his blood I drank, the easier it became. Today he was nervous. The council had called a meeting, and my presence had been requested. That’s putting it mildly; more like demanded. “Maybe you should change me before this meeting and we can get the new vampire orientation program over with all at once.”
Nash’s face fell when he looked over to me. “When we’re at the meeting, please, let me do all the talking. While I find it charming when you challenge me, many members of the coven are looking for any excuse to get rid of you. I promise it would not be as painless as packing your bag and showing you to the door. Keep your mind as neutral as possible. We don’t need any surprises during the meeting. Can you do that?”
“Yeah.” I tingled all over when he admitted he liked anything I did. It was so ridiculous that this ancient, powerful vampire was pretty much my first boyfriend. “I think of the color pink when I can’t think of one good thing to concentrate on.”
“You can think of me.” He knelt down so we were face to face and hooked his finger around a lock of my hair. Our gazes locked, and he didn’t need to purposely glamour me. I was under his spell.
I shook my head, the lock of hair slipped out of his grasp. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. What if the negative crap sneaks in there?” I stopped to study him, to see if I scared him as much as I scared myself. Not yet. But it was just a matter of time. “I’d be lost in a nice little Nash daydream, and then everything would go sideways.”
He frowned. “Is it really that out of control?”
“Why do you think I’m here? I just meant to get back at Amber, not kill her.” The more time I spent with Nash, the more he drew the truth out of me. “Have you ever been to a carnival, and seen that thing that men hit to see if they’re strong enough to send the weight to the top? That’s what it’s like. I can’t control how high it goes. It’s too strong.”
“The reason I haven’t turned you yet is because I need to know you can control these thoughts before you cross over.” He sighed. “Making the transformation isn’t a cure-all, Corynne. We don’t turn anyone who has advanced cancer or dementia. We had hoped our blood could help them, even if they stayed human, but it made the disease run rampant. I worry that’s happening to you.”
“No! It has nothing to do with your blood.” He couldn’t consider me a lost cause. He couldn’t. Because without him, I was. “It’s gotten stronger on its own over the last few years. Being here is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Nash didn’t answer. He stood up and walked to his closet, considering his jackets. Sometimes he was so cold, in every sense of the word. I scrambled off the bed and grabbed his arm. It was possible to startle a centuries-old vampire. “You said you could teach me to control it. You haven’t even tried.”
He turned to me. “I thought the blood would do it. If I could get inside your brain...”
“Not a pretty picture, huh?” If I didn’t laugh, I’d cry. “Try living with it all the time. You do make it better, Nash. You make me happy. I like it here, and until everything happened with Sabrina, I felt safe. It’s when I think I’m under attack that things go crazy.”
“What happened, the night that you were in the forest? I know what you saw that made you run, but did you have visions of Sabrina after you left her?”
Images raced through my head, crashing into each other. At least I couldn’t hurt Sabrina any worse that I already did. “All lot of that night is fuzzy, thanks to Oscar glamouring me. When I got to the parking lot, he’d transformed himself into her image, and I relaxed, thinking everything was okay, we’d lost the police. But then he showed me who he really was. I remember a scream. I knew something was terribly wrong, and right now I’m remembering that I pictured her on the ground, and it wasn’t good. But I got the image out of my head as fast as I could, like I always do when I don’t want to hurt someone.”
“Does it always happen as you picture it?”
“Close enough that I’d run from the police.” I was so cold, thinking of that night. Nash may have glamoured me again to get me to remember. “But the thing is, I don’t know if my memory is influenced by what actually happens or if I cause the things to happen with this ‘power’ all the vampires say I have. I just know that what I picture and what happens are always the same.”
“Did you want to hurt Sabrina?” he asked. I’d been asked a form of this question a million times, by my parents, psychiatrists, doctors, and priests. My answer was always the same.
“Hell, no.” Every time I got defensive. “I didn’t do anything to Olivia, but I knew what happened to her. Same with Sabrina. What I’m trying to say is, I don’t know if I make bad things happen, if I’m a portal for whatever brings this evil to life, or if I’m clairvoyant. Everyone’s always been able to tie it to me, but no one can tell me why it happens.”
“Then it’s not a good idea for you to come to council.” Nash broke the spell and headed into the living room.
I chased after him. “Why not?” I already knew the answer, but I needed to hear him say it.
“Because you’ll be under attack. The council does not take violence against another coven member lightly. It doesn’t matter that we’re violent by nature, we protect our own. You’re not one of us—”
“Then make me one of you.” I stomped my foot and thought real hard about the color pink.
“You need to trust the process, love. Someday it will protect you. But the first step is for you to go into that meeting and get through it without incident. And there’s another thing.”
Nash licked his lips when my heartbeat sped up, pushing my blood to the surface of my skin. “Did something else happen?” I asked.
“No. It’s Olivia. She shouldn’t be around humans yet. She’s still becoming acclimated. Pay attention to what you see. That will be you, if I turn you. Soon I hope that Olivia will be able to participate as a coven courtesan, or that she’ll be chosen by another member as a mate, or she’ll be able to participate in the auction.”
Talk about things coming full circle. “Will I be able to bid on courtesans when you turn me?” I didn’t say if.
“No,” he said quickly.
“Why not?” I could barely contain my smirk. I knew exactly what he’d say.
“Because you’re mine.”
GETTING READY FOR ANYTHING vampire-related was absolutely joyless without my friends. Sierra was too overcome with grief to leave her room. I’d been assigned two new courtesans. Nash said it was their custom when a woman came to live at the coven, no matter what species she was, to have them. I couldn�
�t risk spitting in the face of this coven any more than I already had. All the new courtesans did was lay out clothes and stare at me blankly while I put my own makeup on. I tried to get them to talk, but they were having none of it.
They may have considered being assigned to me a death sentence.
“You look beautiful.” Nash waited for me in the hallway. He put his hand on my back as we started walking.
“Do I look like I belong here?” I dressed like I was going to a funeral in a somber black dress. With the exception of Lady Desiree, the vampires here dressed like they worked at an office. I’d thought the formality around here was silly, but now I was beginning to take comfort in it.
He didn’t answer for a few steps. “You belong to me, that’s what matters.”
Not exactly the answer I needed to hear, but sugar-coating the truth helped no one. He led us to the same room that I’d come to the first night I was here before he’d chosen me. The long table was the same, but instead of mostly naked courtesan wannabes getting tipsy on red wine, a coven of mourning vampires seeking retribution waited for me.
I pulled Nash back before he made it all the way into the room. “What do I do?” I whispered. He’d already given me my instructions, but seeing everyone in that room set me into full on panic mode. There wasn’t any oxygen in there.
“Don’t make it any worse.” His hand was on my back again, guiding me much more forcefully this time. He pulled out a chair for me and pushed me into place once I took it. He sat next to me at the head of the table.
I turned to see the commotion behind me. Two vampires led Olivia in. She made slow, awkward movements in her shackles. Her face lit up when our gazes met, and she attempted to wave her cuffed hands at me. I waved back, absorbing the incendiary looks shot at me from the rest of the table.
They had her so wrapped up it was hard for her to sit. Eyes wide, I looked back to gauge Nash’s reaction. He rolled his eyes but said nothing.
The courtesans and vampires I presumed that weren’t part of the council stood against the wall. Nash cleared his throat once everyone settled in the room. “A meeting of the council has been requested. Please state the occasion for this meeting.”
“We’ve lost a vampire and gained a vampire.” I didn’t recognize the vampire who spoke. All eyes in the room fell on me. I didn’t meet them, instead I looked down at the table and thought about every pink thing in the world. “And a human courtesan is responsible for both events.”
“If someone outside the coven had been responsible for Sabrina’s destruction, we’d stop at nothing to seek retribution.” No mistaking Lady Desiree’s voice. “But you’ve chosen to protect this courtesan, Nash. Even before she caused a disruption to our coven. Why do you think she brings value to us when she’s proven otherwise?”
“It’s in the contact. Every vampire added to the coven must bring a unique value,” another male vampire added.
“The only reason this meeting was called was to scare Olivia and Corynne.” Nash’s voice was sharp. “We’ve discussed all of this already. It’s in our best interest to welcome both of these ladies to our coven. Every coven in the area has their eye on us, knowing that we’ve lost ground to the rogue band of vampires in Greenwich Forest. If we have division within, they’ll attack.”
“Great way to protect your interests, Nash,” Desiree said. “What about the rest of the coven? My courtesan is dead. My companion. And you’ve chosen a child over your coven.”
“I take full responsibility for what happened to Sabrina.” Nash was more on trial than any of us. “As well as Oscar, Olivia, and what will eventually happen to Corynne. If there’s any retribution to be served, it’s on me. Tell me what my punishment is, Desiree. I’ll gladly serve it.”
A gasp rose from the table, and for once, Desiree was flabbergasted. I snuck a couple of looks at her. She opened her lacquered lips and pursed them repeatedly.
“I expected that would be your answer.” Nash drummed his fingers on the table. “If anyone deserves to be punished, it’s Oscar. Auctions are closed for the immediate future. Only our coven and vampires we trust may attend. The open door policy is too dangerous in the current climate. For the courtesans as well as our coven. The coven comes first.”
“Nash,” Pierce said quietly. “When will you turn Corynne?”
Was he planning a coming out party for me?
“Soon.” The word was sharp, and even though it was vague, it carried a finality.
“You can’t turn her.” Desiree rose from her chair. “There’s no guarantee that whatever’s going on in that head of hers won’t be intensified.”
“If she’s not turned, she can’t stay.” There were so many vampires here I didn’t know, but they knew all about me. “We’ve never kept a human long term. Even short term, it affects their mental health. And in this case—“
“That’s enough,” Nash snapped before the other vampire had a chance to call me crazy. “When Corynne is ready for her transformation, she’ll be turned. I won’t make another mistake we can’t fix. She’s already given us a reason to destroy the Greenwich Forest coven, which we’ve been trying to do for decades. Her power will help you all.”
Desiree sat back down, running her fingers over her chin. “We’ve trusted you so far, Nash. But two wrongs have never made a right.”
Chapter Seventeen
CORYNNE
“I’m not welcome here.” Nash and I were the last ones in the room. Both of us had untouched glasses of wine in front of us. “They’ll never be able to look at me without thinking of what happened to Sabrina.”
“Oscar glamoured you. Once their anger fades, they’ll realize it. It’s not you that they see as a weakness, love. It’s me. I created a power-hungry vampire who has caused nothing but destruction. Every bad thing humans believe about vampires can be tied to one person. Him. Because of my lack of judgment, I set us back decades.” Nash sighed. “We’re all gun shy. Olivia complicates things.”
“If we didn’t find her, she’d be dead. The kind you can’t wake up from.” Olivia’s days were numbered even if she’d never come in contact with a vampire. “She wants to be here. She’ll do whatever you need her to do to be a part of this coven.”
“I don’t doubt that.” Nash stood and held his hand out to me. “Let’s take a walk.”
I stared at him, open-mouthed. “You mean, like, outside.”
“Yes. Did you have any other ideas?”
“What if someone sees me?” Unless that was his plan, to be rid of me once and for all.
“There’s no better place to get lost than New York City.” That didn’t comfort me. “That’s why you came here in the first place, which I’ll forever be thankful for.”
The night was warm and humid, the middle of summer. Walking through the city streets, passing the small crowds that were still out even at this hour, was an absolute shock to my system. The world had gone on without me. I wondered if that’s how Nash felt after all these years.
I had to make him not regret his decision. He meant to keep me.
We stopped in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral. “I come here anytime I need to clear my head.” He squeezed my hand. “It’s as close as I can get to home without going back to England. It reminds me of who I used to be.”
“Do you miss being a friar?” I asked.
Nash looked up at the massive building, with its intricate, elegant architecture in stark contrast to the skyscrapers that rose around it. Just like him, it was a beautiful oasis in the ugly modern world. “No. The similarity between my past and my present is in both lives I believed in something bigger than myself. I still do. I have faith that if I act in the interest of the greater good, that things will fall in line. There’s always going to be evil in the world, love. You have to find the power within yourself to rise above it.”
I let go of his hand, needing to wrap my arms around myself. “You don’t think I should be a vampire, do you?” A hard lump formed in my throat.
“I’m too much of a risk to make the transformation.”
His hand was on my back. The simple gesture said so much. That he meant to protect me, yet he was in control. “No.” I gasped when he didn’t continue right away. “That’s not what I think at all. But I can’t teach you to control your thoughts. You have to do that on your own.”
My knees buckled. This was the end. He was handing me over to the man he’d never meet, and it was my judgment day. “I can’t do that.” I could barely see him through my unshed tears.
“I believe you can. The power attached itself to the negative activity in your life. People who’d rather see you fall than give you a helping hand up. Concentrate on what’s good, love. Your friends at the coven—”
“They hate me.”
Nash shook his head. “They’re in mourning. You fell into the grasp of a vampire who was ecstatic to play on your fears. Once Olivia is able to tell them of her experience in the forest, they’ll realize you were a victim in this, just as much as Sabrina. Maybe even more, because you have to suffer from the guilt of thinking your error led to her death.”
My mouth dropped. “You don’t think I did it, do you?”
“No, I don’t. The little things, like the glass you broke during your interview—” I had no idea Desiree told him about that, “—or when you light the fireplace without touching it, I think you’ve brought that about with the power of your mind. That power’s made you a victim of circumstance. It’s made you believe you’re capable of terrible things. Like what happened to your friend and Sabrina. If you believed you were capable of good—“
“Like taking out the feral vampires?”
Nash chuckled. “It would be good for our coven.”
“I want them to accept me.” So much. I let the tears fall. “There’s got to be one place in this world I belong.”
“You do.” Nash kissed each cheek, stopping the tears dead in their tracks. “You belong with me. Whenever you feel the darkness coming for you, think of me. Know that I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you. Ever. Don’t be ashamed of who you are, Andrea Davis, because I know you are capable of great things. Your power drew me to you, but more than that, I wanted your heart.”
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