Chapter 7
Things were different now. Very different. And I was smart enough to realize it. My first Cold Fusion concert had changed me. I could no longer pretend to be unmoved by Cold Fusion’s rock star status. Seeing them perform live had sucked me into their world. The performance had mesmerized me until I could see nothing but stars.
It was clear already; I was in love with Tyler. Not just in the funny way that I eventually obsessed over all my projects, but in that teenybopper all-encompassing crush sort of way. It was the kind of love that kicks you in the stomach with all its ferocity.
I couldn’t help but groan miserably when I recognized it. With my job, I couldn’t maintain a distance from him. Even when I wasn’t actually with him, his presence would surround me as I watched hours of footage of him and spent hours crafting a storyline around his life. I often felt an intimate connection with the subjects of my documentaries. This time, the word ‘intimate’ took on a whole new meaning.
I stood on the side of the stage watching Tyler thank the massive crowd for attending the concert. He had been breathtaking to watch. I barely knew him, but I could pick out the little things he did during the set that were only part of his stage persona. He was confident and in command on stage. Not to mention, downright sexy as sin.
The intensity of my feelings was frightening. From my location, I could see all the girls staring up at Tyler with naked longing and I could understand it perfectly. In fact, I felt it acutely. My heart had been pounding in my chest as I had watched him perform. For a moment I had been sure that he had seen me, even with those damn sunglasses on, and butterflies danced through my stomach. I had never felt such a sexual pull to someone before; a tingling sensation flooded my body as my blood buzzed with excitement. My imagination had run wild with crazy thoughts and my panties were soaked just by the thought of him touching me. Doing sexy things to me. Embarrassed by my own reaction, I had come to the side stage to watch him in secret where he wouldn’t catch the naked longing in my eyes.
I quickly melted into the shadows as I saw the band heading off stage. I didn’t want Tyler to see me before I could get my emotions under control. The fans screamed, desperate for the band’s return. Earlier, I had learned from Scott that they would wait about five minutes and then go back out for an encore of two songs.
The guys didn’t wander far from the stage. They seemed to bypass the bottled water that was offered them and chose to drink alcohol. They all looked happy. And pumped. I could feel the energy bounding off of them in waves. Their elation was contagious and I felt myself caught up in their moment. I saw a cameraman was filming from afar, capturing the instant for our show.
Tommy peeled away from the group and left. Tyler did another shot and then looked around. I was certain I was fairly invisible until Tyler started walking my way. My stomach clenched. It was hard to think with any semblance of reason when I was feeling so aroused by him. I had a pretty good idea of what kind of man he was, but none of that seemed to matter.
How was I going to control all of this when most of me didn’t really want to? Most of me just wanted to give into this crazy lust. It was pretty evident why he had that huge ego and I just couldn’t let him see how weak I was, how deep I had fallen for all the wrong reasons. Because that didn’t matter to him. He would take what he wanted and leave me shattered.
The only logical thing to do was to shut down my feelings. I was going to do my job properly, make Rock Star Diaries a huge success and more importantly, escape with my dignity and heart intact.
The cameraman followed Tyler’s progress until he saw me in the shot. I waived him off. “Joe, keep the cameras rolling on the other guys.”
The intensity burning in Tyler’s eyes took my breath away. “Tyler, you can’t talk to me. You shouldn’t even acknowledge that I’m here. When you talk to me; all the footage is unusable. I can’t be in any shots.”
Tyler just shrugged and leaned against the wall next to me. “What did you think?”
I tried to keep my answer lighthearted. No need to gush all over him. “It was fantastic. You’re all so amazingly talented. I just hope we can successfully capture the atmosphere of the show, the incredible rush, the adrenaline high…”
I could hear the rumble of the crowd in the background, hoping to draw the band back on stage for a few more songs.
Tyler rolled off the wall and stood so close to me that I could feel the heat coming off his skin. Every receptor in my body seemed attuned to him. He leaned closer. “Did you like the song I played for you?”
My body felt feverish. My nipples ached as his eyes slid over my cleavage. My brain seemed delirious; I couldn’t get it to come up with a suitable answer.
My voice unintentionally came out a sultry whisper as I grappled for words to say. “Yes. I loved it.”
Shivers ran down my spine when my eyes slid upwards to meet his. What I saw in them had me reeling. He was going to kiss me. And all I could think about was pressing my body into his. Pressing my lips against his. Tasting him…
“C’mon, Ty. We’re ready.” Tommy called out to him.
Tyler smiled. “I’ll catch you later.” He walked away like nothing had just happened.
I stood motionless trying to catch my breath. That one moment of anticipation had been pure heaven. I hadn’t even thought of refusing him. Oh lord! Of course he felt pumped up in the middle of a rock concert. And I happened to be the most convenient female around. It didn’t mean anything. And it would be best if I remembered that in the future.
***
Nothing Cold Fusion did was going to be spontaneous any more; the key was not to let them know that. The legwork done prior to the tour was massive. At every stop we had scouted out and pre-arranged a spot for the band to party. And every person that stepped into that party would have to sign a waiver first. But if we did our jobs properly, Cold Fusion would be none the wiser.
The roadies had given us a pretty good idea how the after parties sprung up. A few well-placed suggestions and Cold Fusion and its entourage were partying right where we wanted them to that night.
I was surprised at how small the bar was, but it was packed wall to wall with people, which would make good visuals for the show. My crew and actors were all in place. Now it was a matter of sitting back and waiting for something to happen.
The band had been celebrating together for the past hour while I watched from a distance, but Nick was suddenly heading off from the group.
I spoke into my headset microphone. “Nick is heading towards the back of the bar. Make sure a camera picks him up and follows him.”
“Got it.”
I scanned the crowd. No one seemed to mind the overly bright bar lighting or the lower than normal volume of music. “Give me a report.”
It was probably Stuart speaking on my headset, but I wasn’t entirely sure. “Tommy’s got shadows on his face. Getting someone to adjust him now. Some noise on lavaliere mic 2. That’s uh, Alex. Probably clothing noise.”
Not too bad considering so many unknown variables with the huge crowd. “Okay, you may need to adjust his mount.”
A new voice spoke. “Tyler’s on the move. Camera 3, that’ll be you.”
I frowned as I watched Tyler heading my way. He had that sexy grin on his face that caused my heart to flutter.
He made it over to my side. I scowled at him. “Tyler, I’m working.”
He motioned to the camera right next to him. “So am I. Haven’t you noticed the cameras shoved in my face all the time?”
I sighed. “You’ll get used to it. Just ignore it for now. Do what you normally would do.”
“I am. I’m talking to you.”
I was hyper-aware of the camera trained on me. I motioned for the cameraman to stop filming and turned back to Tyler. “Didn’t I already tell you that this was a bad idea?”
He seemed unconcerned. “Yeah, but I didn’t believe you.”
How could I convince him to ignore me? “Tyle
r, you can’t interact with the crew. There are plenty of girls in here for you to talk to. Now, go do it.”
He didn’t budge. I imagined the crew, who could hear Tyler’s feed, snickering. I spoke into my headset, “Cut Tyler’s mic until I tell you.”
I heard the response in the headset, “Okay, it’s cut” before I pulled the headset off my ears.
I looked at him imploringly. “You’ve got to stop this. You’re messing up my shoot.”
I longed to reach up and remove his sunglasses. How I wished I could see what was in those expressive eyes right now. Was he just trying to cause trouble? Or did our moment backstage mean something to him?
He was standing so close that I could smell the scent of his cologne. His hand reached up and brushed against my cheek. “I thought maybe we could sneak out of here for a minute.”
He was outrageous, but I was secretly pleased by his proposition. I ignored my body’s immediate reaction to his words and instead fed off the embarrassment I felt for myself for almost falling for his bullshit.
“Did you forget that I’m working? That I’m in charge of this whole thing? I just can’t sneak out of here. And, for what? To fool around with you? I told you that that was never going to happen.”
He looked a little too sure of himself with his cocky grin. “Maybe not now, but it will.”
I stepped back from him, getting angrier by the second. “You have some ego! Do you think that no woman can resist you? Well, think again. I already told you that you’re not my type. And, besides, I already have someone. A boyfriend. So get over yourself and leave me alone.”
The lie had been percolating in my brain for a while now. I instinctively knew that if I didn’t get him to back off, that sooner or later, I was going to throw caution to the wind and give in to his advances. I was that attracted to him.
It had started off a purely physical attraction combined with some undeniable sexual chemistry. If it were just this egotistical rock star personality that I was dealing with, it would be easy to discount the attraction. But now that I was getting glimpses into the real Tyler behind the rock star persona, complete with all the insecurities and doubts that came with it, it was far more difficult.
But I knew that indulging in my fantasies would be a fatal mistake for the show. And for my career. What would Hugo say? I could picture the pained expression on his face as he lectured me: You ruined your career to jump in the sack with a rock star that doesn’t give two shits about you? One that goes through women quicker than a hot knife through butter? You’re smarter than that Kaitlyn.
Tyler’s boyish smile remained. “So, you have a boyfriend. I’m not asking you to dump him or anything. Just to have a little bit of fun.”
And that was the crux of the problem. This was just business as usual for him. There was nothing special about me. A sharp pang of disappointment twisted in my gut as the reality of the truth finally settled upon me.
I tried to keep the bitterness out of my tone. “Go have fun with someone else and leave me out of it. Now, I’ve got a TV show to make, so start doing something interesting. So far, you guys are about the dullest rock stars I’ve ever met.”
Luckily, Tyler laughed before he walked away.
Dark emotions were circling my head. I shooed them away and snapped my headset back on. “Bring Tyler’s mic back up.”
Hours later, I tried to watch dispassionately as I saw the touches exchanged. A brush of the shoulder, a hand around her waist, a rub of the hip. All easy to chalk up as accidental touches in the crowded club. But when his thigh settled between her legs and her breasts were squashed against his solid chest, I couldn’t deny it.
Girls had been swarming him all night, including some of our actresses. The blonde that seemed to catch his attention was gorgeous, of course. When she lifted her eyes to him, practically offering up her pouty lips, I knew they would kiss. A sour feeling churned in the pit of my stomach.
My view was suddenly blocked by the cameraman closing in on the shot. But not before I saw her perfectly manicured fingernails pressing into his ass, pulling him firmly against her body.
He was doing exactly what I had told him to do. But it was nothing that I actually wanted.
Chapter 8
Tyler rolled over; his legs tangled hopelessly in the bed sheets, and glanced at the clock. “It’s almost 2 AM – the bus is going to be rolling out soon. Do you want me to call you a cab or something?”
Karina sat up, the sheets slipping down and exposing her breasts. “Are you trying to chase me away so soon, Tyler? Don’t worry about it. I’m heading your way actually, so it’s no big deal if I stay.”
He asked surprised, “You’re heading to Minneapolis? That’s kind of random.”
She smiled seductively. “Yeah. I thought I’d hang around and try to catch a few more concerts. Have some fun.”
Tyler grabbed her wrist and pulled her against him. “In that case… let’s have a little more fun right now.”
She smiled but pulled back from him. “Hold on a sec. I need to use the bathroom first.”
He flopped back against the pillow and rested his hands behind his head. “Hurry up. I’m an impatient man.”
Karina glanced down at his thickening cock and arched an eyebrow. “I’ll hurry. Can I wear your shirt?”
“Yeah, go ahead.”
It was probably better that she dressed before leaving the back room of the tour bus. The guys probably came back already since it was close to the departure time, and if the last two weeks were any indication, they didn’t have any company to occupy them. Tyler seemed to be the only one who was having sex any more.
He couldn’t figure it out. Yeah, he kind of figured Alex was going to continue pulling his mopey without his girlfriend shit this leg of the tour, but Nick and Tommy were perplexing. Tyler kept pressing them separately about it until they had gotten angry. He even thought Nick was going to knock him in the face at one point. He had finally given up. As long as no one expected him to turn into a monk, what did he care?
Karina had put on his shirt, but now she was digging a hairbrush out of her bag and brushing her hair. What part of hurry up did she not understand?
This chick had been annoying him all night. He couldn’t put his finger on it, something about her had been bothering him, but she had seemed very eager to please and that had always been good enough in the past.
When he saw her applying fresh lipstick, he spoke up. “Why the fuck are you putting on lipstick? It’s just going to get all over my cock in a few minutes.”
She laughed as she held up a compact mirror to her face. “I just want to look pretty for all those cameras out there.”
Her answer gave him pause. The cameras were hidden so well, they were almost impossible to detect. He didn’t even know where they were all located, except that the band was promised privacy in the sleeping area and bathroom. “Yeah, the cameras. How do you know that there are cameras on the bus?”
She glanced at him nervously. “Oh. Well, I don’t really know. I’m just assuming because of the show and all…”
She dropped the compact back into her purse and stood up. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”
Maybe that was what was bothering him. The fleeting thought that she was just using him to get her 15 minutes of fame – to get an appearance on Rock Star Diaries. And he was essentially just using her for sex, so what did that matter then? Nothing. He should stop over-analyzing everything and just enjoy himself.
***
It was 10 AM before Tyler could convince Karina to leave. After primping for the cameras, she pulled him to the front of the tour bus and draped herself all over him, obviously exaggerating their relationship for the cameras. Following an awkward good-bye full of PDA, she had simply walked off the bus, in the middle of nowhere, claiming that she could easily get a ride to wherever she was going.
Tyler had a sneaking suspicion he hadn’t seen the last of Karina, and he wasn’t too excited
by the prospects of that. Repeat sex always led to trouble. It had been the band’s mantra and had served them well for years, even if he was the only one who seemed to remember that. And he sure wasn’t about to forget that now, especially when warning bells were ringing in his head about this particular girl.
Alex was sitting at the small dining table eating a bowl of cereal and looking at his phone.
Tyler rifled through the food cabinets and then peeked in the refrigerator. “Anything good to eat besides cereal?”
Alex didn’t even look up. “Nope. Somebody’s got to stock up soon.”
Defeated, he closed the refrigerator. “You want to run into town and get some breakfast? I’m starving.”
Alex finally looked up. “You must have worked up a big appetite last night.”
Tyler had a sarcastic reply on the tip of his tongue, but he let it drop. That was the kind of shit that would get edited and aired for drama, even if they were just joking around. Best not to give them too much ammunition.
“Where are Tommy and Nick?” Maybe one of them wanted to go out for breakfast.
Alex answered while he was texting. “Tommy’s sleeping one off. I’m surprised he made it back to the bus in time. When I last saw him at that bar, he was barely standing. I haven’t seen Nick all morning.”
Tyler’s stomach grumbled as he headed to the back of the bus. Ten minutes later, he had showered and thrown on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. It looked cold and windy outside, so he put on a knit hat and gloves before he stepped off the bus.
He started heading over to the Rock Star Diaries’ production bus without even thinking. It had become a habit of his to visit with Katie each day. She had objected at first, but after he told her that he just needed to get away from the constant cameras on him all the time, she seemed to sympathize. It was slowly becoming the highlight of his day.
Rock Me: Sexy (New Adult Rockstar Romance) (New Adult Rock Star Erotic Romance) Page 7