by Lynn, Davida
“Just take the job.” The chill of the night was starting to get to me, or maybe it was the creepy midnight rendezvous in a parking lot.
“Yeah, but why?”
My face twisted in confusion, “Okay, I don't even know where to being answering that question. Let's start with the $1,300 sitting in front of you.”
“Thirteen hundred ain’t that much. You're talking like I need the money.” He shrugged at the envelope sitting on the hood of my car.
“You do need that money, Kyle.”
“Keep convincing me.”
He was really getting on my nerves and making me almost regret requesting this meeting with him. “This job is right up your alley. I figured you'd be all over this.”
“If that's the case, why are you trying to ply me with money?”
“I’m not asking for charity, Kyle. I'm asking you to do a job. People get paid for jobs.” I clenched a fist, then released it. I didn’t want to have to say what he wanted me to say. I really didn’t.
“Paid way more than this, usually. Keep convincing.”
The look on Kyle's face told me that he wouldn't agree until I gave in. My time was limited, so I caved. “Because, Kyle, you are the best driver in California. Is that what you needed to hear?”
His smile said it all. What a narcissistic son of a bitch. After ten years of knowing him, it's my own fault, really. “You know? It really does help. It’s not about the money, anyway.”
I couldn’t help but throw that back at him, “Oh, then you won’t mind if I just keep it then, will you?” As I dragged the envelope away from him, Kyle reached out and snatched it back. He turned it over after wrinkling his brow, feeling a spot that stuck out.
He pried the flap open and turned the envelope upside down. The ring slid down the paper and bounced into his hand. The parking lot was dark, but a distant beam of light from a streetlamp found the ring. The sparkle of the large diamond made itself known. Kyle looked up to me, his eyebrows knitting together. “What the fuck is this all about?”
“I really don’t want to talk about it. I knew thirteen hundred wouldn’t be enough, so…” My voice shook. “It’s yours tomorrow night. Hock it, trade it, I-I don’t care. I don’t want it on my finger, and I don’t want it in my life anymore.” I didn’t even want to look at that engagement ring. If he wouldn’t take it, the ring would find its way into a sewer before I got into Kyle’s car.
After stuffing the envelope of cash into the back of his jeans, Kyle rolled the ring between two fingers. “What’s going on here?”
“Don’t get angry.” I knew those words would fall on deaf ears. “Just take the job,” my voice cracked, so I squeezed the rest out as a whisper, “Please, Kyle.”
Everything that could go wrong was. Maybe I should have let go of the truth, but Kyle had a temper. He had one hell of a temper, and I was trying to avoid setting him off. If there was anybody else I could’ve gone to, I would’ve left Kyle out of it. The way my life turned out, he was it. He was all I had.
The puzzle pieces fell into place in Kyle’s mind. “I’m not getting some girlfriend of yours out of Davis. I’m getting you out. I’m getting you away from him, right? What. Did. He. Do?” His last question came out through clenched teeth. Once his anger took him over, I didn’t think there was any way to pull him back.
“It’s not what he did, it’s what he didn’t.”
Kyle waved the envelope back and forth. “No, no. No way.” He dropped the ring back in and pushed the envelope against my chest. I took a step back to keep my balance. The envelope dropped down, dancing away from my fumbling fingers. I gave up and let it drop to the damp asphalt. Kyle was already walking back toward his motorcycle, and I chased after.
“Kyle, wait!”
His motorcycle boots echoed in the abandoned parking lot. He splashed through a puddle or two before reaching his Harley. “I knew he was a bad idea from the motherfucking start.” He threw one leg over just as I caught up to him. “It’s not what he did. Horse shit. Nobody wears shades to a midnight rendezvous. Why don’t you take those sunglasses off and let me see what he didn’t do? Then we’ll talk about the job.”
I stood before him with no argument. My hands shook as I raised it up and pulled the shades down. His wide eyes were cold as he looked into mine, hurting me more than the punch that caused bruise. Even more than the last six months of my caged life. It hurt more than anything.
His look hurt more than anything because it was the same one he gave when I had to tell him I was choosing Conrad. One year had gone by, and every memory and hurt was as fresh as it was then. Fresher, actually. Living your life knowing you made the wrong choice is like smoking through lung cancer. In the end, six months of abuse was what it took for me to reach my limit, and after a year without speaking to Kyle, I needed him on my side more than ever.
Kyle’s gaze fell to the ground. He let out a sigh that turned to a low rumble. “Fuck.”
There was no hiding the emotion at this point. “I know it’s totally, totally unfair for me to come to you. You don’t owe me anything. The ring is probably worth ten grand, maybe more. You have every right to say no to me, Kyle, but you’re my only shot. I need to start over. I need to get away.”
His gaze stayed down on the damp pavement as he said, “I was no good for you, but at least I wasn’t bad for you. Our life together wouldn’t have been as glamorous, but at least it would’ve been honest.”
I looked down just as a tear fell from my cheek. It landed in a small puddle and shattered the liquid reflection of the streetlight. I whispered, “I know. God, do I know.”
Kyle turned away for me as if he was scanning for the enemy. “Does he suspect anything?”
“Why?”
“Because if he does,” he spun back to me, “he’s going to send guys after you.”
Kyle was right. Conrad would. He would do everything in his power to stop me from leaving. He had money and he had powerful men in his pocket to help him.
The Harley roared to life, making my body jolt. I was already afraid, and Kyle wasn’t helping much. He twisted back the throttle and let the Harley scream out. “Be ready tomorrow night. I’ll make a call down to Bakersfield and set something up. If you go, you go for good. As long as Conrad’s around, you can’t be.”
I hid my hands in my pockets, so Kyle didn’t see them shaking, but I was terrified at the prospect of leaving. I was escaping from a pitch black prison, and I knew the bright world outside was going to blind me.
He nodded to the envelope behind me. “And I don’t want your fuckin’ money. You’re going to need it to start over.”
I looked back at it. The stupid thing was filled with every cent I could scrounge and the ring that might as well have been handcuffs. Kyle pulled away into the night. I stood frozen until I couldn’t hear the Harley’s deep and throaty groans anymore.
I pulled my Lexus around the circle driveway. The light in the master bedroom was out, but it was on in Conrad’s study a few windows down. As usual, he was working long into the night. Since things started getting violent, I was more than happy to fall asleep in the guest room. I worried that stress wouldn’t allow for sleep that night. I threw the car into park and sat for a while. The envelope with my escape money rested on the passenger seat beside me.
After a few long, slow breaths and a pep talk, I reached into the envelope and pulled out the ring. It pained me to slide it back onto my finger, but there’d be hell to pay if Conrad saw I wasn’t wearing it. Of course, I’d try to sneak passed without him noticing, anyway. Sometimes it worked…Sometimes it didn’t.
When I w
as able to go out on my own, it had to be for a damn good reason. Doctor’s visits, clothes shopping, and emergencies were about the only valid reasons that Conrad accepted. It took some serious convincing for my fiancé to allow me out. Playing off his absolute hatred for cheating, I told him I had to console a girlfriend because her husband had stepped out on her.
Conrad had flown into a fury. It wasn’t about my girlfriend, anymore. He went on a tirade about devotion and loyalty, screaming at me as if I was cheating. It was a risk I had to take. Again and again, I told him I would never do anything like that. I was fully devoted to him and our relationship. Once Conrad was pacified, I told him I would be explaining the same thing to my girlfriend. Apparently, it was enough for him to justify allowing me a night out by myself. He explained that if work hadn’t kept him so busy, he would’ve come, too. Thank god for work, or that would have been it.
I was home before my curfew, but I knew I would still have to explain the entire night to my fiancée. He asked about locations, who I met, what I did. I knew it was coming ahead of time, and I had my story as straight as an arrow. If Kyle kept his promise to me, it would be the last night I’d spend trapped with Conrad Blythe.
Before I could get out of the car, one of the security guards tapped on the driver’s side glass. I nearly had a heart attack. I covered my face with my hands, tightening my muscles to try and stop the shakes. “Jesus!”
“Are you all right, ma’am?” There was no empathy—or even emotion—in his voice. He merely noticed something was out of place. Luckily, the darkness hid the envelope from him.
I gave him a nod without looking over. The sight of the guards made me sick. They were everywhere around our estate. At any given point during the day, five or more of them strolled the grounds. Each of them was a large, dangerous man, and had guns to match just beneath their jackets. Conrad said they were there to protect us, but to me they were just prison guards, there to make sure I couldn’t get away.
Shutting down the Lexus, I waited until the guard wasn’t looking and grabbed the envelope. Pain gripped my heart as I looked at the stale mansion I called home. I was terrified to leave it, but far more terrified to stay. It would suffocate me after draining every good memory I had left if I didn’t leave.
My shoes echoed on the marble floor just inside the front doors. Even filled to the brim with opulent shit, the place still felt hollow and empty. Perhaps Conrad did that to mirror his own heart. With Kyle on my side, I could see the hint of light at the end of the tunnel. I could also feel that the tunnel could seal up on me in a heartbeat. The next twenty-four hours would test my spirit. With the money tucked into my purse and the engagement ring back on my finger, I attempted to make it past Conrad’s study undetected.
“Ah, Celeste.” Conrad stood right in the doorway. I reached my hand up to my chest out of instinct. My other hand tightened around my purse. As if my heart was racing enough. He knew I would be walking past and caught me completely unaware. The guard that had tapped on my window must’ve alerted my fiancé. “And how is your girlfriend?”
I hated his boarding school accent. It was as fake and shiny as the mansion. I gave him an equally disingenuous smile. “As good as can be expected, dear. I feel terribly for her. She didn’t seem enthused by any of my suggestions, but I think it helped for her to talk it out a little bit. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
His eyes never left mine. I knew the Conrad was looking for some crack in my story; anything that would give me away. I’d lived a lie for six months, and I had gotten very good at deception. Once he was satisfied that I was telling the truth, he gave me a curt smile and a nod.
“I certainly hope things end well for her.” He turned back to his office, “I’ve still quite a bit of work to do. South America doesn’t seem to be playing ball with me at the moment. I expect I’ll be quite some time.” He eyed me the way a slave owner must have eyed the workers in his fields. It was a cold stare that iced my heart over. Despite the pain, it was just something I had almost gotten used to.
“I understand, dear. Take all the time you need. Hearing about all her problems has exhausted me, as you can imagine. I’m going to get some much needed rest.”
Conrad nodded, giving me permission to head upstairs and to bed.
Once the door to the guest bedroom was closed, the tears came. The shake in my hands was worse than ever, and I fought down a panic attack. The weight of everything crashed down on me. I grasped my purse with both hands. My knuckles went white as I squeezed the leather. Over and over again, I told myself it would all be over soon. Just twenty-four hours.
As I packed a small overnight bag, I thought about Kyle. I tried to tell myself that the past was the past, but I knew that wasn’t true. Conrad and Kyle were so similar, but so different at the same time. They both had a temper that could tear down cities. Kyle had never, ever directed that anger toward me, though. He was the kind of man that got mad on my behalf. He’d stuck up for me more times than I could remember. Kyle stood behind me through school, even when my family disagreed with my decision to hold off on college for a while. He even understood my decision when I told him I was going to marry Conrad instead of him.
I saw that this was more than just a favor in Kyle’s eyes. I saw that every bit of our history was still alive and well in his mind. I hid my bag in the back of my closet. Man, I was going to owe my ex-boyfriend something major.
Sitting through dinner while Conrad talked about business was probably the most torturous hour of my life. Knowing just a short time later I would be abandoning that life forever only made things harder to sit through. Conrad went on and on about trades in South America. It couldn't have meant less to me. He couldn’t have meant less to me.
The last few years of my life played in my mind; not a flash but a slow slideshow like an old carousel. Kyle and I had flirted on and off for a few years during my wild child phase. I was sure that we would be together forever right up until the accident. After that, Conrad swept in when I needed it most. My mother’s care became more and more expensive, and even Kyle had to admit that Conrad’s wealth came in very handy.
When he asked me to marry him, I couldn’t understand what Conrad saw in me at first. I was a mess at that time. The accident and caring for my mother had taken its toll on me. Kyle and I had grown apart as Conrad and I grew closer out of necessity. His proposal ate at me, but in the end, I had no choice but to say yes. Telling Kyle was probably the hardest thing I’d ever done. Much harder than abandoning Conrad in the middle of the night.
The reason I had agreed to marry Conrad was clear to us both, but in the year since my mother's accident, it was never spoken of. The truth was like a ghost, though. That coldness was always there to make me shiver harder on lonely nights. My mother even refused to talk about the accident. She would go on and on about what a good man Conrad was, and I was expected to believe the same thing. When I tried to mention anything bad about him, she would hush me up like I was telling a lie. There was no point trying to tell her about the abuse. He was a saint in her eyes. Conrad may have planned that from the very start.
No one in my family would understand what I was going through. He was everyone’s savior but mine. To me, Conrad Blythe was a rich man, and I was his prize. His prize that could accompany him to gallery openings in Los Angeles, pose with him for pictures in prestigious magazines, and look beautiful in his mansion with other purchased items. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry him. Conrad promised me a life without wanting. He was right: I didn’t want anything. I didn’t even want my freedom anymore; I needed it.
Inside the guest room, I waited. I couldn’t stop checking my phone for a text from Kyle. After midnight, the guards would all be stationed in the carriage house, preparing for their hourly walk-around. At quarter past, I’d head for my car. It was facing out of the drive, waiting for me to hop behind the wheel. I would ditch it when I met Kyle. It would be another part of my life I was going to a
bandon. Fear and apprehension battled inside my mind. I knew I had to get out, but I also knew that Conrad was a man capable of anything. I hoped to God that Kyle was capable of even more.
My phone vibrated as I held it in my hand.