I'm Doin' Me

by Anna Black

  Stop textin me, I don’t wanna C U or TTY!

  He continued to text her for another hour. Finally tired of hearing the notifications going off, she put her phone on silent so she could get some sleep.

  Chapter Four

  Day two of writing was exhausting, and Tiffany couldn’t wait to call it quits. She headed back to her office and stopped by Myah’s desk to see if anyone had returned any of her calls. No one had. She’d called every network in the book, trying to get an appointment, but kept getting the same “I’ll have someone call you back” response.

  Frustrated and tired, she sat at her desk and kicked off her shoes. She undid her suit jacket and then opened her right bottom drawer and pulled out her bottle of Remy. It was her pick-me-up on days like this, when she needed a hug. She grabbed her empty coffee mug and poured some in and took a sip.

  “God help me,” she said out loud. Her line rang. “Yes, Myah?” Her assistant announced that someone was on the line from UVN, Urban Views Network, a place where Tiffany knew the show would continue to be a success. “Hi, this is Tiffany,” she said when the call was patched through.

  “Hey, Tiffany, this is Amanda. How are you today?”

  “I’m great, Amanda. It is so good to hear from you.”

  “Likewise. What’s going on, Tiffany? What can I do you for?”

  “Well, as you know, Boy Crazy is going into its final season,” she explained. “KCLN is not on board with some of the producers, writers, and cast members’ ideas and they may not give us a new contract.” She hoped to hear positive news over the phone, but she ended up being transferred to Amanda’s assistant to set up an appointment. Which was fine after she thought about it; at least she had made one contact.

  She was shocked by the lack of response she was getting. Boy Crazy was such a brilliant show, and she just wanted somebody to give them a break. She made a few more phone calls and then decided she’d call it a day.

  Now that work was left at the office, Kory was the first thing that jumped into her mind when she got in the car. She fished for his card and called him before pulling out of her parking space.

  “This is Kory,” he answered.

  “Hi, Kory, this is Tiffany. How are you?”

  “I’m great, Tiffany, how are you?”

  “Good,” she said. Then it was dead silence. That was bad. “I, ummm, just wanted to touch base with you and see if you were free for dinner.” Nervous, she hoped he wouldn’t say no.

  “Well, tonight I’m not, but tomorrow is good for me,” he said.

  She accepted. That was only one day. She had gone without seeing her high school love for years, so twenty-four hours would be a piece a cake she thought. “Sure, tomorrow would be perfect. There is a Fig & Olive on Melrose, say around seven?” she asked and hoped that would be acceptable.

  “I’m familiar. That will be great.”

  She smiled. “Cool, I look forward to seeing you.”

  “You too, Tiff, take care.”

  They hung up. She scrolled through her numbers until she got to Rose’s name. She wanted to call her before she called Asia. She wanted to go by Asia’s to see Asia in person and fill her in on the details about Kory because she had never mentioned him to her before. To run into him in L.A. was mind-blowing. She couldn’t wait to tell her friend the entire history of her high school crush.

  She squealed when Rose answered, “Okay, he agreed to meet me for dinner tomorrow.”

  “Tiff, that is like the best news I’ve heard all week. I mean, like, are you going to tell him that you were in love from the first moment you saw him?”

  “Ummm, no,” Tiffany said and laughed.

  “Why not?”

  “Because that sounds corny and juvenile, Rose. I can’t come off like a stalker.”

  “Yeah, you’re right, that may come off a little too strong.”

  “Yes, I am going to take my time, play it cool, and then I am going to devour him,” Tiffany joked.

  “Oooh, girl, you so nasty,” Rose said playfully.

  “Yes, I am. I feel like a horny teenager, Rose, just thinking about it. God, I loved me some Kory back then.”

  “What about now?”

  “Rose, come on, be serious. I like him. He’s still sexy as hell, but I don’t know that man. He could be a beater, or weird, you know, like have some crazy-ass foot fetish or worse.” Tiffany paused, and they both said, “Gay,” and burst into laughter. “Oh Lord, Rose, if he is gay, I may slit my wrist,” she joked.

  “Well, you said he was dressed nice, and you do live out in L.A. A bus ride from San Francisco,” she joked.

  Tiffany didn’t like that one bit. “Shut up, Rose, don’t jinx it. I am so sure he isn’t gay, okay? And we will never say that about my future husband and baby daddy again. Understood?” She cranked the engine, because she was starting to sweat in her hot-ass car.

  “Understood,” Rose said.

  The two women got off the phone and Tiffany went home to her lonely place and poured herself a glass of merlot and pulled out the manuscripts of the show from her bag. She had the first two episodes to proof, so she decided to work until she was ready to go to sleep. She put on her pajamas and wrapped her hair, sat in her favorite chair, and put her feet up on her ottoman. She had just grabbed her red Sharpie to get started when her doorbell rang. She looked at the clock and wondered who it could be. She tossed the script onto the ottoman and went for the door.

  It was Jeff.

  She paused, but opened the door. “Why are you here?”

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  She folded her arms. “No, you can’t, Jeff. Why are you here?”

  “Listen, Tiff, I fucked up, okay? What I did was wrong and it is eating me up inside. I came by to ask you to forgive me and to give me another chance.”

  “Are you serious right now, Jeffrey? Two days ago, I come home and catch you in my bed with the hired help, and you thought I’d give you another chance? I forgive you and accept your apology, but another chance is not going to happen.”

  “Come on, Tiff, please. I am so sorry. I had a weak moment. She was here sashaying her ass around and in my face and I did a stupid thing. I was wrong. I am admitting that. I love you.”

  She wanted to laugh in his face. “Oh my God, Jeffrey. Listen, I have work to do and I don’t have time for this. Good night!” she yelled.

  She tried to close the door, but he stopped her. He grabbed her and kissed her deeply. She didn’t stop him at first, but when he touched her breast, she pulled away.

  “Jeff, you need to leave,” she said and backed up.

  “I need you, and I want another chance,” he said.

  Her eyes welled. “Jeff, the wound is still open, and I can’t do this right now. I forgive you, okay, but that is all I can give you right now.”

  “Fair enough, Tiffany. You take all the time you need. Just know that I am sorry for what I did, and if you allow me another chance with you, I’ll never hurt you again.”

  She wanted to believe him, but somehow she didn’t. “Good night, Jeff.” she said.

  He walked away. She shut the door and contemplated whether she should open the door and let him in, but decided she wasn’t going to let him come back so easy. She didn’t want him to think for one second that what he did was okay.

  Tiffany tried to get back to work, but now she couldn’t focus. She cared for Jeff, yes, but she doubted she loved him. She was hurt by his actions, but for some reason, she wasn’t hurt that the relationship ended. She wondered if she meant it when she said “I love you,” or did she say it back because it was the thing to say when someone said it to you? Thinking about it, she realized she truly didn’t mean it. At least she assumed she didn’t, since she didn’t feel like she was going to miss him much. Or maybe she already had high hopes for Kory and her judgment was being clouded.

  She grabbed the script and managed to get back to work. She reread it a few times and when she looked up again, it was after
midnight. After taking her glass into the kitchen, she went back to her room and went to her closet to pick an outfit to wear to dinner the next night. She decided on a sleeveless, low-cut number that was made to undeniably get a man’s attention. She hadn’t worn it in months, so she removed it from the hanger to try it on.

  “Perfect,” she said, admiring her curves in the mirror. She stepped into her pumps and turned to the side, admiring her ass in her three-way mirror. It was plump and looked sensational, she thought and smiled. That would be her “first date with Kory” dress.

  She took it off and hung it back up and headed to bed, but couldn’t fall asleep. She lay awake imagining what the date would be like. Finally, she fell asleep, and before she knew it, her alarm was blaring.

  Too tired to move, she called Myah and said she would be in later and then she went back to sleep for a couple more hours.

  Chapter Five

  Tiffany was dressed and ready to leave the house, but she couldn’t relax. She felt like she did the night she lost her virginity to her boyfriend Shawn Knight, in her senior year of high school. The same butterflies she had then were flying around in her belly as she made her way to her car. When she walked into the restaurant, she felt sick. She rushed into the ladies’ room and took a couple of deep, cleansing breaths. “Get it together, Tiffany,” she told herself. “You are a grown-ass woman, and you should not be trembling.” She took a couple more breaths before exiting the ladies’ room. As soon as she opened the door, she spotted him. He is looking damn good, she thought as she moved toward him. When she got closer, she noticed a woman standing near him, and she almost fell on her face when she saw him put his hand on the small of her back. Just then, he saw Tiffany and waved her over.

  “Tiffany,” he called.

  Caught off guard, she put on a smile. “Hi, ummm . . . Hi.”

  “Tiffany, how are you?” he said. “This is my fiancée, Tressa. I hope you don’t mind her joining us. When I told her that I ran into an old friend from high school who happens to be the producer for her favorite show, Boy Crazy, she begged to come along,”

  “Well, I didn’t beg,” the woman said. “Okay, I did, maybe a little.” She extended her little, pretty hand. She was drop-dead gorgeous. There was not one imperfection about this woman that Tiffany could see. Even her hairline was flawless.

  Code red. Code. Code red. Or blue. Hell, I don’t know, whatever code they call when a person is dying, Tiffany thought as she shook Tressa’s soft hand. Rose. She needed Rose to call at that particular moment and say there was an emergency. She couldn’t stay because she was sure she’d pass out.

  “No, of course I don’t mind,” she said. “Why would I mind a fan joining us for dinner? And you are getting married, that is great.” She hoped it didn’t sound as fake as it was.

  “I knew you wouldn’t,” Kory said. “Are you ladies ready?” He held out his arms to escort both of them in.

  They sat and Tiffany ordered a martini and asked for a shot of vodka. She felt herself shaking, and she kept blinking as she watched the love of her teenage life sit across from her with his beautiful fiancée.

  They made small talk during their meals and Tiffany mostly poked at her food because she knew she’d vomit if she ate. Tressa was perfect, from her even white teeth to the deep dimples in her cheeks. This was the longest dinner ever, Tiffany thought, hoping the server would bring the check soon.

  Tressa took a sip from her glass. “So, Tiffany, please tell me what’s going to happen next season. I know it’s going to be awesome.”

  “Tressa, you know I can’t spill. That would go against my contract. But I will say that we are going to go out with a bang. KCLN is going to regret not renewing us after the next season.” Tiffany waved for another drink. She knew she was overdoing it, but she wanted to relax. She was trying not to break out in tears.

  “What? The other woman sounded shocked. “Get out. This is going to be Boy Crazy’s last season?”

  “Sadly, yes,” Tiffany said despondently. “Unless we can get another network to take us.” The waiter came back with another apple martini and she grabbed it as soon as he placed it on the table.

  “Well, why don’t you come to us?” Tressa said.

  “Us who?”

  “TiMax,” she said as if Tiffany should have known.

  “Come again?” Tiffany said. Now she was interested in what the young beauty had to say. TiMax was a premium channel: a network on cable and dish where they said dirty words and had sex scenes.

  Tressa slapped Kory’s arm. “You didn’t tell her, Kory?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “Langley Green is my father. He is one of the network’s owners,” Tressa proudly announced.

  “Shut up!” Tiffany yelled in disbelief.

  “No, he is.”

  “Shut up!” Tiffany said again in a higher pitch.

  “Yes, and I can set you up to meet with him. And once I tell him that Boy Crazy is my favorite show and maybe whine a little, okay a lot,” she said (Tiffany quickly realized that was her thing, her way of expression), “I’m sure my favorite show will have a slot, and boom, everybody wins.”

  Tiffany no longer felt sick to her stomach. “You’d do that for me?”

  “Of course. You are my fiancé’s old best bud.”

  Tiffany nodded, although she and Kory were never best buds. He didn’t know about the hearts she drew around their names on all of her notebooks or the fact she would name her sons Kory One, Kory Two, Kory Three, and Kory Four. George Foreman did it, so why couldn’t she?

  “Tressa, that would be great. I don’t know what to say. Thank you, I mean, wow.” Tiffany was overjoyed. She couldn’t wait to tell her team. This could be Boy Crazy’s big break. More money and more creative freedom.

  “No, it would be my pleasure. Just give me a card and I’ll have someone get in touch with you soon.” Tiffany handed Tressa a card so fast she almost knocked over her drink. “Now, I need to run to the ladies’ room,” Tressa said and stood. She smiled and walked toward the rear of the restaurant.

  “Kory, wow, I had no idea that you were engaged. That is awesome, and I am just, like, blown away right now trying to take it all in.”

  “Thank you, and I am still trying to take it all in myself. Tressa and I haven’t been together too long, but she is amazing. A little whining, okay a lot of whining,” he said imitating his fiancée. “Before I knew it, we were at the store picking out an engagement ring.”

  “Well, if you’re marrying her, she must be special.”

  “Yes, she is. Spoiled, but special. My family has money too, but we grew up working hard. Reesy, Tressa, hasn’t worked for anything.”

  “Well, I’m with you on that. My family didn’t have money. My mom struggled with me and my brother, and when my brother was killed, my mom had a depressed moment and I became the woman of the house. I had to take care of her and me, so it was difficult.”

  “I remember that. I’m sorry; I forgot your brother was killed.”

  “It’s okay,” Tiffany said and gave a faint smile.

  “Listen, we are having a cookout on Saturday. You should come and bring your boyfriend.”

  “What makes you think I have a boyfriend?”

  “Come on, Tiff, you gotta be dating somebody. Look at you; you are smart and gorgeous as ever. I knew you’d blossom into a gorgeous woman.”

  She couldn’t tell if he was sincere or being polite. “Come on. Kory, you barely noticed me in school.”

  “I noticed you; you just didn’t know that I noticed.”

  Tressa returned to the table. “So, do we need another round or should we call it a night?” she asked.

  “I think we should call it a night,” Tiffany said. She tried to keep her eyes on Tressa to keep from looking Kory in the eyes. At that very moment, she wished Tressa would have never gone to the ladies’ room and left her alone with him. His words were so smooth and tender. She wondered if he meant them or if he wa
s just trying to make her feel good.

  When she got into her car, she immediately dialed Rose. “What’s up, diva? How was your date with your first love?” Rose asked.

  “You mean with my first love and his fiancée? It was fabulous,” Tiffany said with sarcasm.

  “Hold the damn phone. Did you say fiancée?”

  “Yes, his drop-dead gorgeous, perfect size-four fiancée. She looks like she just stepped out of Essence magazine. She isn’t Jet’s beauty of the week beautiful, no. No, she is Nia Long, Paula Patten, slap yo’ momma beautiful. Her skin, flawless. Her legs, silky. Her ass, plump. Her waist, tiny. And her breasts, oh my Lord, Rosie, only surgery could get my breasts to look that beautiful. I felt like an idiot.” Tiffany took a breath. “Here I am, primping in the mirror, thinking I looked like Janet Jackson. But standing next to her, I look like Freddie Jackson.”

  Rose laughed.

  “It’s not funny, Rose,” Tiffany moaned.

  “Listen, Tiff, it couldn’t have gone that bad. And you know skinny don’t make you pretty,” she reminded her. That’s what they always said to cover their spite for the slimmer girls.

  “I know, Rose, but she is truly gorgeous. I just wish he had told me he was engaged. I would have never asked him to dinner if I knew he was engaged.”

  “Awww, Tiff, I’m sorry it didn’t go well,” Rose said.

  “Well, actually it did. Turns out that she is the daughter of Langley Green.”

  “Who is Langley Green?”

  “One of the owners of TiMax. She is going to hook me up with a meeting with him to save my show.”

  “Get out. Tiffany, that is wonderful. See, it was meant for you to go on that dinner date.”

  “Yes, the Lord does work in mysterious ways. Oh well, I guess I need to stop dreaming about Kory. He is not available.” She sighed. “My love life sucks.”

  “Girl, join the club. Whose doesn’t?”

  “Tressa and Kory’s,” Tiffany said.

  Rose laughed again. “Girl, you are silly.”