“Today sucked,” I whispered, “and-” My eyes watered. “I don’t know anything about babies.”
“May I?” He offered his arms, and I let him take her. He cuddled her against his chest, and she lay there, head supported against his arm, her eyes shut, her mouth quiet. She didn’t make a noise or even wake. Was she spelled to sleep? I couldn’t make a sound either, not around the lump in my throat. It was painful, spider-legs of agony running down my throat and into my chest.
“The fuck is going on?” Finn pushed through the brush to get to us, dirt and blood streaking his face.
“Shut up,” Charlie snapped, “there’s a fucking baby. So don’t fucking swear.” He paused, swallowed hard and then snorted with muted laughter. “Sorry,” he said, glancing at me, probably feeling bad for swearing too.
“She’s sleeping anyway,” I said as I peered down at her face. She was a tiny potato. A cute, sweet, tiny potato. And she had no idea of the torment and grief that surrounded her. A swell of urgent determination and passion-filled my chest. If I had my way, she’d never have to hurt for who her family had been. A smile cracked my face, and I released some of the stress pressing down on my shoulders. “And if she’s going to grow up around you five, she’s got to get used to the swearing.”
“Grow up?” Finn’s eyes widened, and he shouldered in beside Charlie, glancing down at my niece. “Was she-”
“I think my sister had given up before she even started fighting me,” I said softly. This could’ve been the only reason. She’d known she was outnumbered, and all she wanted to do was protect her child, in the only way she knew how.
“Nothing like a group of orphans to raise one,” Finn said, his voice rough and catching. I put my hand on his wrist, sliding it up his arm, my heart aching for him just as much as it did for the sleeping child in Charlie’s tight grip. “We’ll teach her good.”
“Everyone else okay?” I asked although it felt like they had to be.
It was the end of this. The fight was over. The universe couldn’t possibly have more grief lined up, waiting for me to experience. Not yet, anyway. I needed to sleep first. Please, universe, just one moment to catch my breath before you try to rip my heart out again…
“Everyone’s good,” Finn murmured as the baby sighed in her sleep, squirming slightly. “Give her to me?”
“You’ve got butter hands; it’s why we put you behind the mic and not holding an instrument,” Charlie argued without any heat and offered her up to Finn. The blond man took her, and she looked so small in his arms, perfect and sweet against the backdrop of his ripped and dirtied shirt. His eyes closed, and he dropped his head to plant a soft kiss on her forehead.
“Welcome to the pack,” he said to her, his breath ruffling her hair. I had to turn away, the tears welling up in my eyes as I felt something deep inside me that was a bizarre mix of pain, happiness, and arousal. Bulky dudes snuggling babies was a thing, and my lady bits had no problem letting me know they still existed and were ready to celebrate surviving.
“Let’s go introduce the pup to the rest of the pack,” Charlie said, “before you get any bright ideas to name her Finna or something.” Finn made a muted noise of outrage.
“Finna is a great name.”
“If you’re a dog. She’s a wolf. Totally different species.”
“She’s a witch,” I said, holding out my hands. “And my niece. So hand her over,” I gulped around the lump in my throat. Both men turned to look at me, Finn smiling gently before he offered to let me take her. “Let’s go show you to your uncles,” I said to the sleeping child, her weight comforting and warm against my chest as I held onto her. “I know they’re going to love you the instant they see you.”
“Well,” Finn said, with a backwards grin at me as he held some brush out of the way so I could walk without being smacked in the face by angry, broken branches. “We’ve kinda figured out that some witches aren’t so bad after all, so I’m sure they’ll at least give her a chance.” He winked at me. “Not sure about you, though. Having some regrets there.”
“You’re lucky I’m holding a baby, or I would smack you,” I said.
Charlie whistled innocently.
“You don’t need hands to give him the ol’ sparky-spark,” he teased and then dodged out of the way when Finn aimed a swat for his shoulder. “Hey guys,” he yelled back to the ruins of the house as we cleared the edge of the bracken. “We found a post-war snack!”
“They’re not going to eat you,” I promised her as she snoozed on, “they only bite me, and that’s one hundred percent consensual, but we won’t talk about that again until you’re at least thirty.” The murmur of voices rose to greet us as the guys came out of the ruins, looking exhausted and filthy. Gratitude filled me from inside out as I gazed down at her small face again. There were six of us and one of her. Maybe it wouldn’t be the same as having her own parents, but… I let my finger travel down her cheek, the soft plumpness of it startling on my senses after all the hell I’d been through.
No, it wouldn’t be the same, but it would be better. We would be better, I promised her.
And that was one blood-vow I was never going to break.
Twenty-Nine
My head hit the back of the seat in the plane, and I sighed.
“Alright, I definitely am okay with travelling this way,” Ace said, stretching his legs out in front of him. The baby was in Finn’s arms as he crooned to her quietly. I stared out the window at the clouds, the blanket of white that separated us from the earth. I wondered where they were, the rest of them, the former witches that had populated much of the world I’d grown up in.
We’d gone to the last of the council houses. Empty, every single one, the witches in them fled. And somehow, in my heart, I wasn’t worried about them coming back to get us. We’d sent the message. Enough families destroyed, their homes crushed, their magic bound away, that I’d made it very clear to the remaining: stay out of sight, or this’ll be you too.
I guess if I was willing to put my own flesh and blood down, I’d do the same to them.
And so they fled. Their homes still glowed with residual power, and the heartstone took care of each one, inhaling it like air until nothing was left. I carried the soul of so many old homes in that tiny stone that I knew it would power our pack forever. And that should be enough to terrify any witch who got the bright idea to start up a war again.
That, and Wolfe. He sat down on the seat next to Finn, gazing down at my niece. When he felt me looking, he met my eyes, a smile warming his face. Frank and Daria weren’t with him, and Levi and Landon were still out in the wind, but he’d come back to me.
And my heart was filled with relief over it. He got up and walked toward me, glancing at Ace.
“Alright, I’m moving,” Ace said with a laugh. “I know that look.” He got to his feet and walked down the plane, going to where the flight attendant was making tea in the kitchen.
“So,” I said, as Wolfe took my hand between his.
“I am ever so proud of you,” he answered my unspoken question. “A foe, vanquished-”
“Can you talk to me like a normal person would?” I pleaded, making him chuckle.
“Listen to me,” he replied. “And take the compliment. I am proud of you. I hope, if anything, you’ve learned from your past mistakes-”
“I didn’t get them all,” I said softly. “And part of me is scared that is a mistake.”
He closed his eyes and sighed.
“We won’t know for a long time if you made the right choice in not chasing them down, but…” He cleared his throat. “You won’t be alone in the fight. If it ever comes to that, which I highly suspect it will not. You’ve cleared, what, how many homes?”
“And the old council building,” I said, “we went, and I drained it. It’s done.” He nodded, a pleased, somewhat evil smile on his face.
“Your father would be twisting in his grave.”
“If he had one,” I muttered.
“That kind of power source takes generations and generations to build up, and without it…” He shrugged. “The best they can hope for is to convince someone to do their taxes for them for free.”
“That’s still pretty bad,” I said, but there were so few of the major families left, and the smaller ones, well, they’d never really figured in our every day lives. I wasn’t sure they’d be able to raise any kind of power to start taking on werewolves again.
“By the time it’s even remotely a problem again,” Wolfe said, “you’ll be long dead and turned to dust.”
I made a face at him.
“Gross. Thanks. And then what?”
“I’ll have to find some other young thing to be my protege, although next time, I hope she listens better,” he sighed as if I had personally offended him. I punched him in the shoulder, and he burst into laughter.
That’s when he hugged me suddenly, wrapping me in his arms.
“This world will be a little less sarcastic without you around,” he murmured into my temple. I relaxed into his embrace, feeling it with my full body. “Are you ready for your next challenge?” He asked. I groaned quietly and pulled away.
“I would fight my father again, then go back to the label and deal with her.” I sank down into my seat and closed my eyes.
“You’re going to do just fine,” Wolfe said affectionately, patting my knee. “And if she sasses you, just crisp her.”
My one eye popped open, and I glared at him with it.
“You know I can’t go around murdering mundanes. I’m honestly at the point where my murdering days are over.”
“It’s not murder if it’s self-defence,” Wolfe sing-songed and I sighed, rubbing my temples.
“You’re adorable and annoying,” I replied.
“And you’re going to be just fine,” he assured me. I gave him a weak smile. I hoped so. After everything I’d done, these next steps shouldn’t have been worrying me at all.
But there’s always something, somewhere, ready to throw a wrench into the works. And I keep expecting it to leap out at me from the shadows.
Guitar noises cut through the darkness, and then the screams started. It was like a horror show, except it wasn’t. It was just four thousand fans crammed into a venue, and I was curled backstage, too weirdly nervous about going to watch the guys.
“Hey,” Willa said, sitting down next to me on the couch in the greenroom. “You okay?” Her steady gaze, warm and kind, had my breath shaking in my chest.
“Yeah,” I said, “just some PTSD.” How many shows had we played and been attacked at? How many times would I walk down a lonely backstage hall and expect a hunter to come around the corner, lunging at me with a seax or some other chopping blade?
“Y’know, you’re the most unusual person I’ve seen come into the music industry in a long time, and I’ve worked with some pretty interesting people,” Willa says with a quiet laugh. The music is a hum in the background, and I can hear Finn’s voice over it, cutting clear through to the screaming fans. They’re dying out there, the fans that is, so excited to see their band after a brief break.
Well, we had some genocide to put a stop to, so we had to disappear for a few weeks. Had it really only been weeks?
I closed my eyes, and Willa comes close.
“Wanna touch the belly?” She asks, and that startles a laugh out of me.
“Oh god, is everyone asking?”
“Everyone except Troy. He seems horrified by everything that’s going on,” She said, gesturing to her body. The swell of her pregnancy is so noticeable now, and I’m kind of excited to meet the tiny human that she’s gestating.
I think of my niece, who’s little too. Maybe the two of them will be friends. I hope so.
“Troy-” I start, and she finishes it with me, chiming in. “Doesn’t like change.” We gaze at each other and then laugh. I collapse back against the couch.
“I’m just tired. This show was last minute-”
“And family stuff kept you away,” she says with a nod and a knowing look. “Is everything okay now?”
Was it? I informally had custody of my niece. I wasn’t sure where my mother was. If she’d died, or what.
And…
All my family were dead.
It was just that little girl and me currently being nannied over by a pinch-hitter babysitter that the record label had arranged for without even asking me why we suddenly had an infant we were caring for.
Thank fuck for rockstars, their weird lives, and the people who supported them.
“Yeah, I think so,” I breathed out all my stressors and looked over at her. “So. Baby shower?”
She wrinkled her nose.
“No baby guitars,” she said, “or tiny drum kits. I need diapers.” I nodded.
“Right, I’ll try to keep Cash in line.”
“I like how you said that because you know exactly who would buy me the ridiculous gift,” she laughed. I smiled at her.
“Let’s go pick out some fans to come backstage to meet the guys,” I said, “I need to do something nice for somebody.”
Willa tilted her head to the side and surveyed me, calm, knowing in her eyes.
“You’re always doing nice things for people, Darcy,” she said, “and I hope you realize that one day.”
I took a deep breath and thought about it.
“You know, you’re right,” I murmured. “I guess I want to do more nice things right now. Put a bit more goodness in the world than there is at this singular moment.” I wanted to wash my hands and leave the magic world entirely behind me. That probably wasn’t possible, given that my niece would have her powers, and I hadn’t had the heart to bind them from her. She was still a baby. She needed time. I needed time to heal and see if I could… help her. With them, later.
“I think that’s fair,” Willa said, then grabbed my hand. “Let’s go make some fangirls totally ecstatic.”
Later, as I leaned up against the wall of the hallway, twenty feet from where the guys were laughing and signing autographs for a group of fans, the warmth blossomed in my chest.
This was where we needed to be. This was where we belonged. And I would do anything to defend that, to nurture this place we were in, for the rest of my life.
Thirty
Gem glared at me from across the coffee table, her nails tapping on her notebook in irritation. Those notebooks. She took them everywhere. Wrote down everything in them. She was like a cop, always recording every detail of everything.
Well, she could write this down.
“The guys are not going to place their music in a commercial for, what was it?” I leafed through the brief. I made a face. “Deli meat.”
“The money is excellent.”
“It’s deli meat.” I shook my head. “Off-brand.” Gem raised an eyebrow at me.
“Off-brand?” She hissed and leaned forward, but I stood my ground.
“You have fought hard for this band,” I said because she had, behind the scenes, supporting as much as possible but also making some really questionable decisions. Sending me on a date with Eli, stirring up gossip tabloids about our relationship, had been one of my least favourite ideas of hers. “But in the end, I’m their management of record now-” I nodded to the little plaque on my desk. There. In my brand new office. For everyone to see. I was the manager, not her. “And they’re not advertising deli meat.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“There going to be a problem with that?”
Gem stared at me, her lips parting slightly. I didn’t hate her. I just hated how she figured she was the only one with good ideas, and most of her ideas tended to run to crazy-insane-spectacles that left me with a flood of social media snark afterwards to deal with.
No. Thanks.
“What are your plans for the band, then?” She challenged me, sitting back in her seat, glaring hard. Once I would have shrunk under her steel-eyed gaze.
Not anymore.
“We’re going to go to Europe. Finish our touring there. Come back and do a victory lap around the U.S., and then record another album,” I said. “The guys already are roughing out their demo tapes, and I’ll have something to hand in to you in a few weeks. Their social media is killing it, merch sales are up month over month and-”
“Will you have time to complete your degree with all of this going on? That sounds like a pretty packed schedule,” Gem’s words dripped sarcasm, but there was a hint of approval in her eyes. I sighed.
“You know, I think I’ve dealt with worse in the last year, so yeah, I’ll get it done.” I let loose a tight-lipped smile and glanced out my window. My very own window. The rain dripped down, steady outside. It was Seattle, after all. I was so tired of it. In fact, I was tired of it all. Fighting with Gem. The reminders of Max, well, everywhere. But I wasn’t going to run away. Not this time.
“And once I’ve put into place the team I want for the guys, honestly? We’ll take over the world. It’ll be over for the rest of those bitches,” I gestured out into the world through the window, meaning every other record label exec on the planet. Gem laughed, her fingernails tapping one final time on her notebook.
“Alright. Fine. I concede the floor. You’ll do nicely. Check-in with me, and let me know how it goes.” She got to her feet. “But don’t discount that you’ll need ‘those bitches’ out there too, hmmm?” She cocked an eyebrow at me and then left my office, closing the door behind her. I slithered down in my seat, exhaling slowly. I closed my eyes.
Babies were hard work, man. Even with five guys in the house, she was still my niece, and I felt like it had to be me who was doing most of the heavy lifting. Which sucked because I didn’t know the first thing about babies. Other than they were tiny and kinda breakable. My eyelashes were exhausted, and even though I’d just politely vanquished Gem so she’d get off our backs about the band’s future, I still had more hurdles to jump.
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