by Mia Madison
Men ask me out now and again, but those dates never lead anywhere. Martin may be a protective brother, but he hasn’t actually had to fend off anyone. I do that for myself because guys can be such creeps. Sometimes, I think they only see my chest. “Look at me,” I want to say. “I’m up here.”
But it feels like Ward sees the whole of me and likes what he sees. He makes me feel beautiful and desirable. He makes me laugh. And that thing he did with his mouth. Just wow.
I lie in bed, thinking about him, my fingers brushing my nipples, my clit, teasing myself, wondering what it will be like with Ward in bed all night, when he takes me hard just like he promised. I want that. I don’t care if it hurts the first time. I don’t care how scared I am. I just want him. Inside me.
*
In the morning, I can’t believe I slept so well. I thought I was too excited to catch a single wink, but I fell asleep almost right away. I shower and then go out into the kitchen to find Martin sitting there already.
“You couldn’t sleep?” I ask.
“No, I did. Just a time zone rewind thing going on. I thought I heard a guy here last night. Must have dreamt it.”
I hope he can’t see the tell-tale blush on my cheeks. I turn and open the cabinet to get the breakfast cereal out. “Maybe I’ve got a whole slew of boyfriends. You know nothing, Martin Davis.”
“Never. My little sis has never gone and got herself a man. I thought you would always be here for me, baking me cakes and feeding me pizza.”
His words hurt me a little. Does he think I couldn’t get a boyfriend? Though I was beginning to think the same.
“You know nothing.”
“Tell me more. If you’ve gone and found a man, I’ll have to suss him out while I’m here.”
“You will not.”
“So you are hiding something.”
“No.” This is getting awkward. I need to get him off the subject before I have to tell any more lies. I don’t like hiding things from Martin. He’s done so much for me over the years. “Have you had breakfast?”
“I thought we might go out for it.”
“It’s Friday. I have to work, remember.”
“Tomorrow, then.”
“Okay, good idea.” When do I tell him Ward is back in town? Or do I just wait for Ward to call my brother? The sooner they meet, the sooner I can work out how Martin would react to me being with his friend. Maybe he won’t care at all as long as he doesn’t find us half-dressed at his homecoming.
“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” I ask.
When I find out his first port of call is going to be the Coffee Cup for a decent cup of coffee, instead of the kind I keep at home when he’s not there, I know just what to do.
CHAPTER 10
Ward
My phone lights up with a text message from Alyssa, and if I’m honest, my face does, too. Last night was so unexpected in every way. Not just seeing my old friend’s little sister, a reminder of happy times in the past. It was much more than that. Her kisses, her sexy looks, her scent—everything about Alyssa—took my breath away. And I kick myself because I didn’t look her and Martin up when I first came back to the area.
Her text tells me where to find Martin this morning if I want to catch him, and so that’s exactly where I go. It’s not as if I’m a stranger to the Coffee Cup. That’s where the guys from the fire station always go to get their coffee. It’s just unusual for me to hang around there on a day off.
I grab a newspaper and settle down to wait, but after a few minutes Martin walks in. He sees me before I see him, and before we know it we’re catching up and talking like we never lost touch.
“How’s that family of yours?” I ask. He hasn’t told me about the accident, and I can’t say I know already, so I’m hoping he tells me soon so it’s not some big thing hanging there unsaid.
His face clouds over. “You didn’t hear about them?”
“What happened?” I’m careful not to lie to him.
“Dad took a bend too fast and crashed into a wall. The car flipped over. One slip and he and Mum were both gone.”
“Fuck! I’m sorry, Martin. Your parents were really good to me. What about Alyssa?”
“She wasn’t in the car. She was a mess for a few years—we both were—but she’s okay now.”
“Not married?”
“My little sister? No way. She’s like a little mouse. Well, a big mouse, actually. You’d get a shock if you saw her. She’s put on a bit of weight over the years.”
I want to punch him in the face for dismissing her like that. He doesn’t have a clue. She’s a bit shy, but no way is she a mouse. “Maybe you just don’t see her properly because she’s your sister.”
“Oh, I see her all right. You can’t miss her.”
You’d think she was the size of a house the way he’s going on, instead of soft and perfectly formed, the way I see her. I’m starting to dislike my old friend, but I can’t fall out with him now, not if I want to see Alyssa again.
I hope he doesn’t say these things to her, even in teasing. But that would be typical big brother behavior if he did. We sometimes teased her way back then, but I don’t think we were ever cruel.
Now I want to make sure she knows how lovely she really is. Not just lovely. Hot. And her brother can fuck right off with his comments. If he prefers stick insects, that’s his problem.
“We should all get together. I said I’d take Alyssa out to breakfast tomorrow,” Martin says. “Are you around?”
I’m glad I’ll get to see her tomorrow. Awkward in front of her brother, but I’m not going to say no. I can’t wait to see her again.
CHAPTER 11
Alyssa
When I return home from work, Martin is full of bumping into Ward, and I’m glad that they still hit it off. I’m not so sure about the three of us having breakfast, though, much as I want to see Ward again.
Although I tell Martin it’s a good idea, I’m trying not to think about it because if I do, I’ll get all worked up and end up being more nervous than ever. Martin will know something is up before I can work out if I should tell him I want to date his friend.
“Has Ward changed?” I ask.
“He’s bigger,” he says. “But not big like you. More built.” The hurtful remarks about my size run off my brother’s tongue. I don’t even think he knows he’s making them, or how much they affect me, because I always pretend his words don’t mean anything. It’s about time I stood up for myself.
“Less of the big, you.” I dig Martin in the ribs, and he pretends to strangle me. I know he loves me. He just has a funny way of showing it sometimes.
“Ward’s a firefighter these days,” he says. “It must be all the training they do that made him the way he is.”
“Nice!” I say.
“Don’t get any ideas,” Martin says. “Ward’s too old for you, and besides, he always had women chasing after him. I bet it’s no different now.”
I don’t think Martin is wrong about girls liking Ward. How could they not? But my brother doesn’t know everything, even if he thinks he does.
Ward wants me. That’s pretty clear. For the first time, I wonder if I would be better off getting my own place. But no, that’s probably not the answer. I should just set Martin straight every time he insults me, even as a joke, and stop him putting me down.
If he did it non-stop, I would hate him by now. But it’s not all the time. Just the occasional comment that hurts. He’d probably be gutted if he knew how much his words affect me. And there’s so much more to my brother than a few remarks. I’d have been lost without him in the years following the accident.
When we go into the restaurant for breakfast, I notice Ward has already reserved a table in the corner. He spots me right away, and the obvious appreciation in his eyes negates all the veiled insults from Martin.
I smile at Ward, and he winks at me, making my heart speed up even more than it already did when I saw him sitting there. I’m
not sure I’ll be able to eat a thing.
Finally Martin notices Ward, and we make our way over to his table.
Ward gets up, “Hey, Alyssa, lovely to see you.” He kisses me chastely on the cheek, but I catch the wonderful waft of his cologne, and it goes right to my core, reminding me of his lips on me, how they were everywhere, all over my body.
“You must see quite a difference in her, eh?” Martin says.
“Yes, who knew little Alyssa would turn into a beauty?” Ward says. “I’d never have guessed.”
Martin pulls a face. “You haven’t changed a bit, Ward. You always had a way with women.” And then he says to me. “Just like I told you, he has them eating out of his hand.”
Ward doesn’t deny it, and I wish Martin hadn’t said that. It takes the edge off all Ward’s compliments. I have to calm down about him and not get carried away.
We order breakfast and Martin talks about army life as we eat. In the space of half an hour, I find out more about my brother’s life in Afghanistan than he ever tells me.
When he goes off to find the waitress to order more coffee, Ward says, “Don’t worry what Martin says about me and women. He exaggerates.”
Ward squeezes my hand. It’s going to be okay. His fingers send shots of excitement through me. I want more of his touch. I’d like to take him home with me and to my bed and never get out of it again.
“I’ll find some way to see you,” he says so quietly only I can hear, and he doesn’t drop my hand until we hear Martin speak to the waitress. He’ll be coming back over.
“What are your plans while you’re home?” Ward asks him.
“Chill out. Drink beer. Catch up with old mates.” He grins at Ward. “I have to go back on the twenty-third. I might go to London for a few days in a week or so. There’s someone I met when I was on my way home last time. I want to look her up. And a few of the guys from school landed jobs there. Any chance you can get away?”
“Not much. Got to keep fires from burning down the town. I’m still off tomorrow, though. I thought I might go to the cabin, if you two want to join me.”
“The cabin? Your family still has that?” Martin says. “Yes, then. We had some good times there, didn’t we? Remember when Chad got stuck on the roof trying to prove he was man enough to get up there?”
“Just nobody on the roof this time,” Ward says. “It’s my day off from rescuing people. Can you make it, too?” he asks me. “It’s not the best time of year at the cabin, but it should still be fun.”
“Yes.” I smile at him. The thought of a whole day in his company, even with Martin there, makes me happy. It hasn’t been as awkward as I imagined.
CHAPTER 12
Ward
I want to see Alyssa alone, but it’s probably best if Martin gets used to us all being friends first. The cabin seems as good a place as any to cement that. It will mean being together all day, not just a couple of hours for breakfast. I just wonder if I can act as if Alyssa is nothing more than a friend to me the whole time, at least when Martin is around.
When I pick them up, Martin slides naturally into the seat beside me, Alyssa behind. It means I can look at her whenever I glance in the mirror, and she is mostly looking back at me when I do. I’m glancing in the mirror so much, I have to be careful not to look like I’m taking a driving test. It’s as if I’m making sure the examiner knows I’m checking the rear view before I do anything.
“Okay there, Alyssa?” I ask, because I can’t help wanting to hear her. So far Martin has monopolized the whole conversation, reminiscing about the stupid stuff we got up to at the cabin. I’m not sure it’s the impression I want Alyssa to have today, but she giggles in the back.
“Just as well you two grew up, and the army and the fire department knocked some sense into you both.”
She’s probably not wrong.
“Remember, I used to ask if I could go to the cabin, too. But you never let me. And now I know why.”
“You’d have been shocked back then.”
“I’m pretty shocked now.” She laughs. “I can’t wait to see what shocking things you do today.” I glance over at her in the mirror, and her cheeks color. My cock springs into action. The things I’d like to do to her, though I won’t be able to touch her.
“I have a few things up my sleeve that would make a maiden blush,” I say. “But I’m sure today at the cabin is not the place.”
“You have other places where you do shocking things to maidens?” Alyssa teases.
“Plenty,” I say. “But I haven’t shocked a maiden for a few days.”
“You’re losing your touch,” Martin says.
“Maybe I am. I guess I’d find it again with the right girl,” I say and look at Alyssa again. I’ve got to stop this before Martin sees me looking in the rear-view mirror.
“You’ll be settling down next with a wife and two point two children. Tell me it’s not true. My old friend Ward has turned.”
“I might just surprise you one of these days.”
“And pigs might fly over Kabul airport.”
And we both laugh, because what else can I do?
CHAPTER 13
Alyssa
It’s hard seeing Ward and catching his glances in the mirror without being able to reach out and touch him. The atmosphere in the car should be relaxed because we are three friends going out on a day off, but I’m on edge. I want to be more than a friend to Ward, and I’m afraid if Martin notices what’s going on, it will spoil everything. Even so, I’d rather spend the day like this than not be with Ward at all.
When he comes out with his statement about having things up his sleeve that would make a maiden blush, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know how much of a maiden I am, but he must have seen my face redden at his words. I seriously need to get out of that habit.
All I really need to do today is enjoy the visit to the cabin with the guys and let things take their course. Though I ache to be alone with Ward, I’m so happy to have Martin home safe. It’s only his timing that is off. I want to make sure he has the best time here in England. He needs to go back to his unit without anything weighing on his mind. He has too much to worry about already when he’s away.
So when we get to the cabin, I don’t even think about finding time alone with Ward. There’ll be time in the future if it works out for us. And if not—no. I can’t bear to think that it won’t.
Once Ward gets a big log fire going, I lay out the food I brought on the coffee table in the living room and we eat. “There’s some beer in the fridge if you two want it,” he says.
“What about you?” Martin says.
“Someone has to drive back.”
“Oh yeah, that’s why we always ended up staying over. We should do that again.”
“We could do that if you like. I have to back by tomorrow evening, though. I’m on nights for the next four days. What do you think, Alyssa? But you have to work, don’t you?”
“I do. I have flexible hours, but the latest I can get there without getting into hot water is ten. Sorry to break up the party.”
“We could still drive back first thing if you like. Is that okay with you, Martin?”
“I’ll sleep in the car. You know me; I can sleep anywhere.”
So it’s decided. We’re staying the night. I’m happy that I’ll have more time in the company of my two favorite people, but it also means I have to keep up the charade for longer. Part of me wants to tell Martin now and get everything out in the open, but if I do, how do I explain not saying anything earlier? He’ll be upset that I kept everything from him.
After lunch, we go out for a walk through the woods to the lake. It’s freezing but beautiful here. Ward and Martin chat about guys they used to know at school. I recognize some of the names, but I don’t know them. We were so far apart in age, even a lot of the teachers were new by the time I went to high school.
I let the guys go on ahead. Now and again Ward glances behind, making sure I’m okay, but I�
�m happy watching them getting along so well. It’s not too much of a stretch to think that Martin might be happy I’m with his friend as long as Ward and I approach it right.
Back at the cabin, we settle down in front of the fire again. Martin nods off. I can see he’s still wrecked from his tour of duty and travel home.
Ward looks over at him and then smiles at me, a smile that reaches his whole face, and our eyes lock in one of those moments where nothing really happens, but I’ll never forget. I’m getting quite a collection of times like that with Ward, even though this is only the third day he’s been back in my life.
“Do you want coffee?” he asks and signals for me to join him.
And then in the kitchen of his cabin, while my brother sleeps next door in the living room, Ward kisses me, and I can tell he’s been hoping for a moment like this as much as I have. And yet again, it feels like my whole world shifts on its axis, and I’m under his spell. Every time he kisses me, I can’t get enough.
“I’ve wanted to do that all day,” he says. “I didn’t realize quite how much torture this would be, having to pretend you’re just a friend.”
“Me neither,” I whisper, hoping Martin stays asleep for a while.
CHAPTER 14
Ward
I just meant to have a good day with Martin and Alyssa today. I don’t know why I didn’t keep up with Martin after I moved. Just life, I guess. But it’s great we caught up again. And even better that Alyssa dropped back into my life.
I didn’t want to do anything to rock the boat here, but one look at Alyssa with Martin snoring away in the living room, and I can’t resist kissing her, though I want to do so much more.
As Martin shows no sign of stirring, surely it can’t hurt to kiss her again, and so I do. Thoroughly. I could cheerfully bury myself in her softness, in her smile, in the wonderful scent of her. But I have to keep things in check. This can’t go on forever, though, not the whole time Martin is on leave. He has to know about us before he returns to Afghanistan.