by Brandi Evans
“Born that way.” Maddox pushed from the table, grabbing his half-eaten bagel and Yeti mug as he moved. “Hope to see you at the club soon, Raven.”
“You know I’ll be there.” She stood too and turned to Carter. “I’ll walk you out.”
“You don’t have to, Genny.”
“I know.” Grinning, she stepped around him and grabbed a second Yeti mug from the counter. “I poured you some coffee, too. Morning’s aren’t complete without coffee.”
No, they weren’t.
He took the mug. How had he not noticed the coffee sitting right there in the middle of the counter? Easy. He’d been too caught up in the sight of her and Maddox laughing to see the bloody obvious.
Christ.
He hadn’t been this situationally unaware since the night Emily—
Nope. He wouldn’t let himself go there.
They walked in silence to Maddox’s black SUV. His partner climbed into the driver’s seat, leaving Carter and Genny in relative privacy.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be,” Carter said, “but I’ll call.”
“I know.” She stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “And if worst comes to worst, I have your car.”
He shook his head. “You, my pet, are incorrigible.”
“You knew what you were getting yourself into.”
“True.” He kissed her again, longer and hotter than the one at the kitchen table, but he pulled back before it descended into something more along the lines of the kiss in the shower.
She took two steps backward, blew him another kiss, waved goodbye to Maddox, and then headed back the way they’d come.
Carter stayed put, watching the sway of her hips until she disappeared into the darkness. She had such a fantastic ass, and he’d much rather be sidled up against said ass than partake in whatever conversation was awaiting him in Maddox’s SUV.
“Shoot me now,” he groaned as he turned on his heel and climbed into the vehicle. “Don’t fucking start with me,” Carter said the second he’d closed the passenger’s door.
Maddox waited about five seconds after pulling from the drive before ignoring Carter’s demand. “Genny?”
“I said not to start.”
“I know what you said.” Maddox accelerated out of a curve. “Genny?” he asked again.
“It’s her name.”
“Yeah, I know it’s her name. I also know she doesn’t use it. I also know why. So, I say again… Genny?”
“You do?” Carter turned in his seat and glared at his partner.
“Yeah, I do.” But Maddox didn’t elaborate on the how.
Even Carter didn’t know why exactly. He’d surmised why, but it hadn’t been a topic they’d discussed. Maybe Maddox had surmised the reason as well; they were both cops after all. Noticing details and understanding things not said were vital elements to the job.
Maddox slowed to a stop at a four-way intersection. “Combine actual name usage with the fact you brought her back to your place, I’d say things are going well.”
“How many times do I have to say I don’t want to talk about it?”
“Well, tough shit, partner, because I do.” Maddox shoved the vehicle into park and turned to Carter. “I care about Raven. A whole hell of a lot. And I want to make sure you do right by her. If this isn’t gonna go anywhere, you need to fucking tell her. Now. Before things go too far.”
Carter gaped at his partner. Maddox cared for Genny? A lot? Carter wasn’t sure how to decipher the revelation. Sure, Maddox and Genny had always gotten along at the club, but he’d assumed they’d struck up a friendly relationship based on the fact they both bartended at the club, but maybe Carter had been way off.
Holy shit, was his partner in love with Raven?
They rode in silence the rest of the way to the precinct.
Carter’s house was more beautiful in the light of day.
Raven sat on the back porch, cup of coffee in hand, Buddy laying contentedly beside her, and watched the shimmer of the rising sun as it played on the water. She hadn’t been able to go back to sleep after Carter had left, which would probably come back to bite her later. The club was closed today, so she had the day off. Still, she envisioned several more pots of coffee in her near future, so in a lot of ways, it was like her usual day. In others, however…
She hugged her mug to her chest. Carter had destroyed her the night before, and this time, a man had destroyed her in ways she hadn’t known possible. She couldn’t decide quite how she felt about it. On the one hand, having someone to lean on for a change was nice. She was willing to admit it. On the other hand, however, she could easily see this relationship turning into an addiction, and she had an inherent loathing for any type of addiction. A lifetime with Brenda Malek had taken its toll.
Addiction left a sour taste deep inside her. To lean on someone was to risk losing herself, and if she lost herself, the damage could be irreversible. For so long, she’d only had herself to lean on. If she relied on Carter too much, would it interfere with her ability to help herself? Like she’d told Carter multiple times, she didn’t need saving. Not by him. Not by anyone.
But what about want?
She could certainly see how being with him could affect her ability to maintain her independence. She kept thinking about them in terms of we instead of him and her. With him, though, she liked feeling we, even as it drove her nuts.
“Too deep,” she said to no one, and taking a sip of her coffee, pushed to her feet and headed toward the water.
Carter’s houseboat rocked gently on the pristine waterway. From the outside, the boat wasn’t too impressive; nor was it the barely-floating POS she’d envisioned after Carter’s description. The craft just looked like a tiny house on water.
A white-ish fiberglass hull, maybe thirty-five or thirty-six feet long, made up much of the outside frame. A single black stripe ran down the middle, and tinted windows spanned the frame. A deck sat atop, enclosed by a metal fence. Was it still considered a fence if it were on a boat?
The boat’s name, written in simple black lettering, was easily the best part of the entire scene. Detective Carter Burkes had christened his houseboat with the name Crime Pays.
That man.
Shaking her head, she gripped the metal railing at the stern and stepped aboard. Buddy, not wanting to be left alone, barked.
She turned back to the animal. “Does he usually let you aboard?”
Buddy sat, cocked his head to the left, and gave her an expression only a psychopath could say no to.
“Fine. But if he gets mad at me, I’m blaming everything on you. Everything. Got it?”
Buddy wagged his tail and let out an emphatic bark.
If the outside of the floating house was average, then the inside was amazing. He said he’d refurbished the interior, and man, he hadn’t been kidding. He’d laid laminate floors throughout, the kind which looked like hardwood, and the faux wood perfectly matched the trim running through every room.
The captain’s chair and the built-in sofas in the cabin were upholstered in deep red, setting off a nice contrast to the white walls. The galley kitchen was a few steps lower than the main cabin. Along the port were storage compartments, and to the starboard was a mini-fridge, stove, and double-basin sink, all positioned in front of a long window showcasing the beauty of the waterway as it stretched out before her.
The bathroom was filled out with a sink, commode, and even a tiny bathtub/shower combo. The stateroom—or bedroom—was cozy but completely functional. Oh yeah, she and Carter could fit there comfortably. And wouldn’t it be romantic? Making love while they rocked with the pulse of the water—or better yet, anchored a long, long way from civilization, somewhere so far away the memory of her mother’s betrayal couldn’t reach her.
Oh yeah. Forget buying a house. Maybe she should see if she could rent some space from Carter and moor a boat of her own next to this one.
She returned to the cockpit and drew her
fingertip over the chrome steering wheel. Before they could venture out farther into the water, however, the engine needed some TLC, something she could do. She could work on the boat in secret and surprise Carter with a day trip.
True, it’d been a while since she’d thrown herself into a rebuild, but she had the time. Plus, she had Google, and with Google on her side, she could figure out most anything.
She looked at Buddy. “What do you think, boy? Should we see if we can fix this engine for Carter?”
He barked.
“I’m gonna take that as a yes.”
Raven leaned against the bar, resting on her forearms, and surveyed the club. She’d never been so grateful for a moment of rest. Plumb exhausted didn’t begin to describe how she felt. Carter and Maddox had spent the past two days out of town because of his work. How was it the simple act of missing someone could zap her energy like a motherfucker?
Carter had said the sudden trip was because of the case he’d mentioned earlier, but he’d only spoken in generalizations when he discussed leaving. His absence, however much she missed him, had given her plenty of time to work on the houseboat’s engine. She was making great progress, too. If she were lucky, she’d have it ready within the week. She’d spent the night on the boat the evening before and had loved every second. The weather had been cool, but under the blankets, she’d been toasty warm. A girl could certainly get used to living like that.
Many of the Doms from the class mingled amongst Restrained Fantasies usual colorful clientele. The boss and Viv were in their usual spot on The Dark Side, snuggled on a bed. Neither had been super engaged in any actual BDSM play; they were just together. And being together was something Raven didn’t fully understand—but would like to.
Viv’s ex-husband—Brock’s half-brother—had been doing everything in his power to make things miserable for them, and the fucker was succeeding. Raven hated that her friend had to go through this shit. Their dilemma served as a reminder to Raven what was at stake when other people held power over her, even a seemingly sweet, handsome man like Carter.
Damned if I do; damned if I don’t.
In her back pocket, her cell phone dinged. It wasn’t the Wicked Witch theme from The Wizard of Oz, so at least, her mother wasn’t calling. Thank the cosmos for small favors. Dealing with her mother’s shit wasn’t even a teeny bit related to anything Raven wanted to do.
Raven pulled the phone free. A single text message from Carter shown on the screen. Our flight’s been delayed, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it to the club before closing. Sorry.
Raven fought off the sigh building in her chest. It’s okay, she texted back. Don’t worry about me. Do what you’ve got to do.
I know. I wanted to see you.
She couldn’t stop the smile curving her lips any more than she could stop the setting sun. Right back at ya, Sir.
She hit send as Steel arrived at the bar with his brother, Ewan, at his side, so she slid her phone back into her pocket. Steel and Ewan looked about as similar as a grizzly bear and a cheetah. Steel was large, stocky and, as Viv had said once, looked like he should be competing with Atlas for the honor of holding up the world. Ewan, on the other hand, was much more svelte and suave. Where Steel was intimidating in his leathers, Ewan was almost dangerous-looking. James Bond to his brother’s Hercules. Still, they made quite the striking pair.
They looked so at ease together she’d often wondered if their ‘brothers’ line was just that, a line. A little lie to cover up a more sexual relationship, but she’d never seen them interact with any men at the club, so it was probably only a fantasy in her head. Still, the idea had been hard to kill once her imagination had gotten started.
“You guys want your usual?” she asked as her cell phone dinged again; it took every ounce of effort she possessed to keep from reaching for it.
Ewan nodded. “Can I get a bowl of pretzels, too?”
“Sure ‘nuff.” She turned to Steel, waiting for his response.
Nothing.
He stared at her, an expression on his face she couldn’t entirely read, one which made her feel ten degrees of uncomfortable. And granted, Steel usually made her uneasy, but this was different. And she couldn’t quite put her finger on why.
Still, she stood her ground and didn’t look away. She met Steel’s penetrating gaze with one of her own, and finally, the left corner of his mouth tipped up.
The Dom grinned.
He fucking grinned.
And it was disconcerting.
“I’d never have thought there was a submissive bone in your body if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes,” Steel said. “Still, Master Carter has his work cut out if he ever expects to tame you.”
“Tame me?” Every hair on the back of her neck stood on end.
“Brother,” Ewan said, his voice soft but balancing on a razor’s edge.
Steel leaned over the bar and whispered to her, his voice menacing and deeper than humanly possible. “Feisty subs do make the best quarry.”
“Quarry?” She bit back a million swears; she’d be damned if she let this asshole get the better of her—even if he had.
Steel pulled back enough to rest his elbows on the surface of the bar. “And, yes, little sub, I’ll take my usual as well.”
“I’m not your sub.” She spat the words at him.
“Oh, I know.”
Fucker.
Would she get fired if she punched Steel upside his stupid, fucking head?
Ewan placed a hand on his brother’s forearm and bent close. He whispered something to Steel, but Raven couldn’t hear the words. A moment later, Steel gave her a cocky wink and sauntered off. Okay, saunter might not be the best word, but it was damn close.
Ewan turned to her and offered a slight smile. “He really isn’t a bad guy.”
If you say so.
She barely managed to hold the words back, but something on Ewan’s face made her pause. He truly believed what he said; it wasn’t some half-hearted ploy to calm her ruffled feathers. He meant it. To him, his brother wasn’t a bad guy.
And maybe he wasn’t?
She’d never had any strong emotions toward Steel before. He’d been cordial enough to her, not particularly friendly but not an asshole either. It was almost as if two men occupied the same body, the hard-ass Dom and Ewan’s ‘not a bad guy’ brother. Two parts of a whole who coexisted peacefully. It was an idea which wouldn’t leave her for the rest of her shift.
“Where to?” Maddox asked.
Carter stared at the unanswered text message on his phone, the one he’d sent to Genny at the airport, a simple idea he hadn’t thought would, eventually, drive him mad.
Still want company when I finally make it back?
At first, he’d kept telling himself she was busy, but the excuse had become harder to believe once her shift had ended. Over two hours ago.
He should tell his partner to take him home, and then, he’d get in touch with Genny tomorrow. He was exhausted, but goddamn it, he wanted to see her. Now. To hold her and, heaven help him, to spend yet another night in her arms, her body.
He glanced at his partner. If ever there was a time he wanted to talk to his best friend about something, this was it, but given the fact things had been tense between them since their exchange in the car the other day, Carter wasn’t so sure he wanted to upset the status quo.
“I take it Raven hasn’t texted you back?” Maddox asked, cutting through the bullshit.
“What?”
“Don’t play stupid. Is there another reason you’re cradling your phone like an overprotective mother hen?”
Carter sighed. “No, she hasn’t texted me back. I’m trying not to take that as a bad sign and failing miserably.”
Maddox shrugged, but otherwise, he remained emotionless. “I’m sure she just got busy at the club. But then why hasn’t she answered since the club closed? Okay, okay, I see your dilemma.”
“Usually I wouldn’t care but—”
“But usually, you don’t care enough about a woman to give a damn.” Maddox turned to him. “But Raven’s different.” The latter bit didn’t feel like a question.
Carter didn’t elaborate, just nodded.
Is Genny ‘different’ to you, too? Carter wanted to ask, but he was already treading on thin ice.
There’d been a lot of subs who’d come and gone over the years, for both of them, but neither had gotten attached to any of them. The job had always come first. Being a cop wasn’t a nine-to-five deal; it was a twenty-four-seven/three-sixty-five lifestyle. It didn’t leave time for pursuing relationships. Then throw in what had happened with Emily, and Carter had never wanted to make the time.
And then he’d made the mistake of taking Genny as his sub for his stupid fucking class, and his entire world had gone topsy-turvy.
On a groan, Maddox let loose a string of expletives. “All right, asshole, talk.”
“Seriously?” The word slipped out.
“Yes. Something has your guts twisted into pretzels, and you’re obviously too emotionally constipated to figure it out on your own, so fucking talk.”
“Harsh, man. Harsh.”
“But am I wrong?”
“No, but you’re still a bastard.”
“I know. A complete bastard.” It was the same banter they’d shared throughout their partnership, only the emotion and joy Maddox usually took from the verbal jabs was lacking.
Closing his eyes, Carter rested the back of his head on the headrest. “I can’t get her out of my head. Every fucking minute of every fucking day since I started teaching that class, there she is, front and center in my thoughts. I feel like I’m about to lose my mind.”
“I hate to tell ya this, man,” Maddox said, “but it sounds like you’re in love.”
“Why not punch me in the jaw and knee me in the balls next time? I think it’d hurt less.”
Maddox laughed, although not much joy resonated in the sound. “I said you were in love, not that your mom looked like Swiss cheese who was fucked by radioactive waste.”
Carter would have preferred the latter. “I’m not in love with Genny—er, Raven.” Even to him, the words fell flat.