by J. M. Nevins
* * *
Kyle paced in the physicians’ lounge ten minutes after he had finished a debriefing with his superior, Dr. Perry. He had received massive kudos and even more hints at an offer of a permanent position on the cardiothoracic surgical team soon after he completed his residency in six months. Dr. Perry had been impressed with Kyle’s performance in Kit’s surgery. It had been a massive success. He held up well under a the pressure of a stressful, live-saving, four-hour surgery.
Seeing Kit, though, had thrown him into a tailspin evaluating his life trajectory more than he had anticipated. To get his bearings back, he had asked for some time off. Dr. Perry easily approved it, encouraging Kyle to take an extended period since he had not taken a vacation or even a planned day off since he started his residency at the hospital two and a half years prior.
There was only one matter of business that Kyle had to attend to before he could sign himself out on vacation. That sole task left him in a complete state of resistance. Dr. Perry was off his shift for the night and asked Kyle to speak to Kit’s husband about her improving condition and recovery.
He was seized with internal conflict as he struggled with his moral conscience. Part of him wanted more than ever to have another chance with Kit, yet a nagging feeling remained telling him he had given up his option years ago. She had moved on, married, and he had to deal with it. Seeing her in person again, reopened all of those old wounds as if they were freshly inflicted. The mere thought of talking with a man he knew Kit would be spending the rest of her life with angered him.
Always the professional, he threw on his white lab coat over his scrubs and headed out, grabbing her chart on the way. He scanned a nurse’s note listing family member names and recognized Spencer’s name as the next of kin below Sully. He had no idea how he would explain himself to Spencer after all these years, but he knew he had to get his job done.
He closed the chart and approached the waiting room, expecting to see Moira and Spencer, but they weren’t there. Only the larger than life rock star, Sully Foxx, and an attractive, petite, brunette young woman remained. Sully, fueled by tremendous anxiety and concern, paced like a caged tiger.
Kyle swallowed hard and approached. Giselle noticed him coming and tugged on Sully’s arm. He shifted his focus up to Kyle and met his lucid, sage green eyes.
Kyle nodded and extended his hand. “I’m Dr. Nicholls. I was one of the surgeons working on Kit McKenna this evening along with Dr. Perry who I understand you’ve already spoken with. I’d like to take a moment to brief you on her current condition.”
Sully shook his hand vigorously and bobbed his head with approval. “Sully Foxx, Kit’s husband. It’s great to meet you, Dr. Nicholls. Dr. Perry said she made it through surgery well, but was still in critical condition. How is she doing? Is she going to be ok?”
He paused for a moment, stuck on the word ‘husband’ that Sully uttered confidently with ease. He forced his personal feelings aside to do his job.
He met Sully’s eyes and nodded. “Yes, she’s making progress. She’s still in critical condition, but her vitals are improving consistently. Unfortunately, due to the trauma she endured, she suffered a miscarriage. I’m very sorry for your loss. She’s going to need a lot of support and recovery time. It’s important that she take it easy. No stressful situations as that can exacerbate her condition.”
He continued, providing details of her anticipated recovery process and the next steps needed to return her to normal day-to-day life. Once he was finished, he forced a grin. “She should be alert in the morning and I’m sure she’ll want to see you. I suggest you head home and getting some rest.”
Giselle couldn’t hold back. She was so relieved to hear the good news that she leapt forward and hugged Kyle tightly. He stared at her awkwardly as she pulled back and looked up at him. “Thank you. You saved my boss’s life. She means the world to me.”
Kyle nodded and grinned. “You’re welcome. Now, go get some rest.”
Sully met his eyes and reached out to shake his hand again, wanting to be polite and appreciative despite the bittersweet news. “Really, thank you. She’s my life.”
He was grateful Kit was going to be ok, but devastated about the news of a miscarriage. He had no idea she was pregnant. He figured she hadn’t had the chance to tell him yet and was probably planning on sharing the news in person. He felt sadness overcome him, yet a glimmer of hope still remained since she was ok.
Kyle nodded again. “Certainly. Have a good night. Get some rest. She’ll need your support tomorrow.”
Sully grinned. “Will do, Doc. Thanks again.”
Despite the doctor’s urgings that he should go home and get some rest, Sully remained, lightly snoozing in the private lounge. Sully knew Alexa was due to arrive soon, and he didn’t want to cause confusion by leaving. He notified a nurse to send Alexa in when she arrived.
An hour had passed since Kyle had notified Sully, and he was restless. He finished his rounds and decided to go downstairs to get some fresh air. He listlessly headed toward the elevators.
His eyes widened when the doors opened, and he saw Alexa rushing out toward the nurses’ station. He froze for a moment, stunned by how quickly his past flooded his mind and clouded his judgment.
Before he could move, she glanced over and caught a glimpse of him. He immediately felt anxiety jolt through his body as he hastily turned on his heel and quickened his pace in the opposite direction of her.
He was alarmed when she turned her full attention to him and approached in hot pursuit. He glanced over his shoulder, hoping she had given up when their eyes met. He promptly turned back around, cursing under his breath and opening up into a full jog down the hallway.
Alexa loudly called after him, startled and confused. “Kirby? Kirby Nelson is that you? Kirby!”
He immediately turned the corner and ducked into one of the rooms that contained cots and bunk beds for the physicians to catch a wink between rounds. He leaned against the door, closed his eyes and let out a long breath.
Moments later, Alexa stared at the sign on the door that read, “Authorized personnel only.” She frowned and shook her head, wondering what was going on.
She headed toward the windows to take a moment and compose herself. She chalked up her heightened emotional state to the stress of learning of Kit’s shooting and the exhaustion from an impromptu six-hour flight to Los Angeles. Something in her spirit wouldn’t let go, though.
The doctor she chased down the hall was a dead ringer for Kirby Nelson and she couldn’t shake it. His sage green eyes were unmistakable and triggered years of treasured memories. Tears started rolling down her cheeks again recalling Kit’s frantic rants shortly after Kirby’s death. She desperately tried to convince Alexa that he wasn’t dead, that it was all some kind of setup. Alexa’s thoughts spun like a top, and she felt like she was losing her mind.
Desperate to regain normalcy, she headed back to find Sully, who was rousing from sleep. He forced a grin and then frowned, noticing the anguished look on her face. “Lex, are you ok?”
She shook her head, not wanting to explain. “I’m just tired, Sull. How’s Kit doing?”
He donned a content grin. “She’s improving.” He then shook his head sadly. “She had a miscarriage. Aside from that, she’ll be ok.”
He sighed and looked up. “Actually, Lex, I don’t know that she’ll be ok when she hears that news.” He nodded. “She’s on the road to recovery, though, and that’s good news. The doctor suggested I go home and grab a wink. We can visit with her in the morning.”
He stood up and threw his arm around her. “Let’s go get some rest. Like the good doctor said, we’ll need it tomorrow. Did you book a room for tonight?”
She shook her head. “No. I planned to stay with you and then realized that because of the shooting you may not be able to stay in the house. Let me know if I need to get a room. I don’t have a problem with it. I cleared my schedule. Wes and the kids will be on the
first flight out tomorrow. We have a room for when they arrive, but nothing for me tonight. Slipped my mind.”
Sully took her hand in his and squeezed it. “I’m glad you’re here. We’ll be staying in the condo tonight. My mom is staying in a hotel, so the guest room is all yours. You’re right about our house—it’s a crime scene. The L.A.P.D. is still finishing up their investigation and then after that I hired a cleaning crew to come in. Not really the best place for us to be right now. Hope you’re ok with that.”
She nodded and squeezed his hand. “That’s totally fine.”
He forced a grin. “Let’s go catch a few hours of sleep.”
As Alexa walked out with him, she glanced over her shoulder once again in hopes of catching a glimpse of that doctor but he was nowhere in sight.
CHAPTER 3
It was half past five when Kyle roused from his catnap on the cot. He yawned and stretched as he got up, headed to the washroom to freshen up. He grabbed some coffee after that and by six he started his rounds. Since he had no intention of leaving the hospital for his vacation until he was assured Kit was fully conscious, lucid and in optimum health, he picked up a rotation for a friend to pass the time.
By seven, he grabbed her chart and made his way to her room, slowly poking his head in first. Hooked up to every monitor imaginable, she slept peacefully, and he grinned, relieved his timing was perfect.
As he quietly approached and examined each monitor closely, he prayed she wouldn’t wake up in his presence. He sighed for a moment before opening her chart and couldn’t resist taking her hand in his.
He closed his eyes for a moment and felt their past resurfacing and leaving him with a heavy heart. He gently stroked her hand with his thumb and opened his eyes, watching her. He grinned, wanting so badly to wake her up and tell her everything, but he didn’t. He gently removed his hand and shifted his focus to her chart.
As he wrote down notes, he glanced up at some earlier annotations and started recalling what he had reported to Sully earlier. He let out a long, defeated sigh, quietly shut the chart and hung his head. It was over now. There was no chance that they could be together. He was way too late.
He kissed her on the forehead once again, smoothed her hair gently as he squeaked out a whisper. “Goodbye, Kit. I love you. I’ll always love you.”
He stood up and walked out. He was about to continue down the hallway when Moira approached. She smiled wide, her eyes dancing with contentment, as she held her arms open to him. “I was hoping I’d run into you today. I wanted to thank you personally for attending to my daughter-in-law so brilliantly. You saved her life.”
He chuckled, gave her a kiss on the cheek and hugged her tightly. He pulled back and met her eyes. “Moira, I’m glad to see you. Sorry, the gala didn’t work out last night. I promise I’ll make the next one.” He gently led her down the hallway. “Let’s go grab a cup of coffee and I’ll give you the latest on Kit before I’m off of my shift.”
She nodded. “I’d like that. Thanks for the personal touch, Kyle.”
Sully sat in the chair, arms folded in front of him as he lightly snoozed. The moment Kit had been transferred to a VIP suite after being in recovery from surgery, he set up camp right by her side. He felt safer there than being at home. He didn’t want her to be out of his reach, even for a second.
“Hey, you’re here,” Kit uttered groggily. “Did I fuck up the tour?”
Sully sprung to attention and smiled wide. “Kitty!” He jumped up and grabbed her hand, sitting on the side of the bed and leaning forward to give her a soft kiss on the lips. “How are you feeling?”
She chuckled. “I think I’ve had better days. Everything is still really fuzzy.”
He nodded and grinned as he gently stroked her face. “Understandably, babe. You gave us all quite a scare. I’m so happy you’re ok.”
She nodded slowly. “Me too. You didn’t answer my question. Did I fuck up the tour?”
He chuckled as he squeezed her hand. “That should be the least of your worries right now. Babe, it’s important for you to rest. No business talk. The only business you’re gonna be doing right now is recovering, ok?” He gazed into her eyes.
She met his eyes and nodded. “I’m so sorry, Sull. I’m so sorry this happened.”
He frowned. “Babe, from what I understand this wasn’t your fault. You were gunned down by a crazy man.” He gently took her face into his hands and gazed deeply into her eyes to make his point. “No matter who he was in your past or whatever happened, it’s still not your fault. It’s not. Ok?”
Tears welled up in her eyes and started streaming down her cheeks as she nodded her head. He continued, plagued deeply with guilt. “Kitty, I’m the one who should be sorry. I should have been there to protect you. I should have taken that bullet for you. I can’t even begin to imagine how horrific that experience was for you in our own home and I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, babe.”
She started sobbing and he took her into his arms and held her. She melted into his embrace and felt a deep sense of security. She had forgotten how he could anchor her in a matter of seconds and she was relishing the moment. He continued to hold her, pressing his cheek against hers. “I’ve got you, babe. I’ve got you.”
After several minutes, he finally pulled back and gazed into her eyes again, forcing a smile. “I knew you’d pull through this. You’re a fighter.”
She grinned. “Too much to live for, I guess. Sully, I have something to tell you.”
He sighed and met her eyes, taking her hand. “Babe, if this is about the baby…”
She searched his eyes and shook her head, her eyes welling up with tears. “Oh no…”
He could feel himself getting choked up. “Your body endured too much trauma and you had a miscarriage.”
She let out a defeated sigh and looked crestfallen. “I didn’t even get a chance to tell you. I had just found out. I had planned to fly out and surprise you with the news.”
He nodded. “Kitty, don’t beat yourself up about this, ok? You tell me every time something doesn’t go quite right that there’s a good reason behind it and you’re right. For whatever reason, it wasn’t the right time for us. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t try again.”
He gently lifted her chin. “And think about it. I would have still had at least three months on the road. I would have missed almost half the pregnancy and I don’t want it to be that way, Kit. I’m your husband, your partner and when you’re pregnant, I want to be there taking care of you. Now, don’t get me wrong here, I’m bummed. I am. But, I also know that timing is a factor too.”
He reached forward and gently wiped her tears. “You must have a million different emotions right now and that’s totally ok. Feel ‘em all, baby.”
She forced a grin and met his eyes. “I agree with what you said. It wasn’t the right time. It breaks my heart. It hurts like hell.”
He squeezed her hand. “I know, babe. We’ll get through this. We will. First priority, though, is your healing and recovery. Tiny steps, ok?”
She nodded and leaned forward to kiss him. “Ok.
A few days had passed and Kit’s strength was coming back quicker than she had anticipated. She had been pleasantly surprised at how Sully had been there as a constant by her side every day.
She could tell he was antsy and knew there were a plethora of factors and concerns to address with him, but she let them go for now. He was right. Her recovery would need to take center stage right now before figuring out how to make heads or tails of their marriage.
She gazed out the window of her VIP suite and thought about everything that had transpired, including what flashed before her eyes before she lost consciousness in the office and some very strange dreams she had in the hospital about Kirby that seemed real.
A knock on the doorway of her suite got her attention. Before she could look over, she heard a familiar and comforting voice call out. “Is this a good time, kid?”
Lew’s pres
ence was a welcomed distraction from her introspective reflection on recent events. She smiled and waved him in. “Yes, of course.”
He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, then pulled the chair closer to her bedside and took her hand. His kind brown eyes were shrouded with concern. “You gave us all quite a scare. Glad you’re ok. The world needs you, Kitten.”
Her eyes welled up with tears. “Thank you for that, Lew.”
He nodded and met her eyes. “How are you feeling?”
She forced a grin. “Better. Every moment seems to get a little better.”
He grinned. “Good. Jonathan put you on medical leave at my urging. He didn’t have a problem with it. He said he’d come see you when he’s back in town next week. He’s out in New York right now.”
Her eyes widened. “Omigod, the meetings! I…”
He held up his hand. “Think nothing of it. Jonathan and Pete have got you covered. You focus on your recovery. That’s the most important thing right now.” She nodded and cast her eyes down. He frowned, concerned. “Kit, is everything ok?”
Her eyes welled up with tears and she shook her head. She looked up and met his eyes. The flashbacks that happened in the mere moments when she was losing consciousness were back.
She saw Joe and the band and when she got her first Grammy. But then she saw something else that seemed like a glimpse into her future and confused her. Her marrying Sully on a beach. Her on a stage singing to a sold out arena. Joe looking deep into her eyes and telling her that the world needed her out front now and to go for it with one of his buccaneer grins she loved that made him look like he was conspiring. It proved to be nothing but confusing, yet she couldn’t dismiss the nagging feeling. Now, she was questioning everything.
She sighed. “Lew, something feels off. Something feels broken. Something in me has changed and I have no idea how to put it into words. They tell me that I died on the table for about thirty seconds but they were able to easily bring me back. Since I came to after my surgery everything feels different. I’m feeling disconnected from who I used to be and like some new part of me is emerging.”