by J. M. Nevins
She let out a defeated sigh. “We’re done here. You’re not getting it.”
He stood in front of her, blocking her way and staring deeply into her eyes. “Oh, I get it. I fucked up the worst I ever have and I am not proud of that. I’ve been an asshole with a capital A. In fact, I feel pretty fucking shitty about it every goddam day. I am sorry, Kit. I know that’s the last thing you want to hear and you probably don’t believe me, but I am. I am deeply sorry. I regret all the shit I’ve pulled on this tour and how I’ve hurt you. I realize I need to earn your love and respect again. I get that. And I’ll do it. I’ll make you fall in love with me all over again, Kit McKenna and this time we’ll be solid as a rock.”
She shook her head. “Don’t do this, Sull. It’s best for both of us if you just accept that it’s over. Please. Let me go.”
He shook his head vehemently. “I won’t. I will not give up on us.”
She sighed again. “Suit yourself. But if you really want to know how I felt uncovering all of these foibles of yours, then listen to my new song. It’s dropping on Z100 tonight. I gotta go.”
He gently grabbed her arm to stop her, immediately intrigued. “Wait, what? Your song? What are you talking about?”
She sighed. “Let me go, Sull. I gotta go.” She pushed past him, headed for the door.
As she opened the door, she heard him call out to her. “I love you, Kit. Always will. You’re the love of my life. I’m not giving up.”
As he continued, she moved forward, walking into the hallway and letting the door slam behind her. Alexa and Sean came to attention noticing her as she hastily headed toward them.
She kept her composure temporarily. “Thanks for carving out that time, Sean.”
He nodded. “Of course. Your car is waiting downstairs. Let’s go.”
As the elevator doors closed, Sully reached them, out of breath from sprinting down the hall. He slammed his clenched fist on the closed doors and looked for a staircase. He immediately found it and ran as fast as he could in hopes of reaching the lobby when she did.
He scurried into the lobby, in time to notice Sean closing the door of the limo just outside. He watched it pull away from the curb and stood in the lobby watching the limo leave his viewpoint. He huffed, trying to catch his breath.
Once in the confines of the quiet limousine feeling safe with Alexa nearby, Kit broke down sobbing. Alexa sprang into action and held her as the limousine sped toward the airport.
Sean walked into the lobby and noticed Sully. He frowned. “What are you doing down here?”
He sighed. “I was trying to catch Kit and tell her one last thing. Where’s she going? Is she flying home tonight? Was she on the Diamond jet?”
Sean stared at him, knowing better than to give out Kit’s itinerary. “I dunno, Sully. She didn’t tell me her plans.” He clapped him on the shoulder. “C’mon, let’s get you ready to go for soundcheck. Keep your focus, mate. On with the show.”
Kit got settled into her seat on the jet. She had finally calmed down after being inconsolable on the way from the hotel. She knew breaking the news to Sully would be difficult but she had underestimated how heart-wrenching it would be for her. Combined with what she had learned about Kendalle Scott, she couldn’t help but wonder if she was moving in the wrong direction with this. She did her best to shove the doubts from her mind.
She shifted her attention to Alexa who had just finished a call. “What time?”
Alexa looked at her. “For dinner or for recording?”
Kit raised her eyebrows. “Recording? Huh?”
Alexa sighed. “After dinner you’re laying down your final vocals for the B-side of the single around ten or eleven. A-Dub will take care of the rest. I heard that they’re going to fly Bryan out after the show closes tonight so he can lay down the keyboard tracks for you. Dinner with the Diamonds at eight… at Lew’s house.”
She nodded. “His brownstone on the Upper East Side?”
Alexa grinned. “That’s the one. And my housekeeper has your room all set up. After we finish our meeting, we can head back to our place and you and I can debrief or hang out or do whatever you want to do. Wes and the kids are still in L.A. We’ll fly back tomorrow or the day after on a charter in case Jonathan needs this one back. We can play it by ear.”
Alexa looked concerned. “How are you doing? And don’t you lie to me.”
She sighed and cast her eyes down. “It’s harder than I thought it would be. I thought because I’m so angry with him that I’d be able to just blow him off and be mean, but it was really hard. Lex, he doesn’t have a girlfriend. That whole thing was a misunderstanding.” She met Alexa’s eyes. “He tore up the papers.”
Alexa’s eyes widened. “Wait, what? No girlfriend? He tore up the separation papers?” She nodded as Alexa continued. “Oh shit. I knew he’d take it hard, but…”
Kit sighed. “Yeah, I know. It shocked me too. He’s contesting. I gotta call my attorney. This could get ugly. He may leak to the press. I hope he doesn’t.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “Let’s change subjects. What’s going on with Lew and Jonathan? Are they retracting the single from Z100?”
Alexa shook her head and glanced at her wristwatch. “No. Your song will drop in about thirty minutes and if Sully’s smart and resourceful, which we know he is, he may hear it. Lew handed it off to one of the deejays he knows well at Z100 New York.”
Kit sighed and shifted her gaze out the window. “At least the lyrics won’t surprise him if he really listens.”
Alexa surveyed her. “So, no girlfriend, huh? How was that mistake made? Does that make you feel better?”
She met Alexa’s eyes. “Yes, it does, actually. Knowing he hasn’t had sex with anyone but me since we got back together definitely gives me some peace. Have you ever heard of Sully talk about someone named Keni?”
Alexa sat back and thought about it. “Not in a while, but I remember that when we lived in Hollywood. Keni called a few times when he lived with us.”
Kit chuckled. “So you know Keni is a girl.”
Alexa nodded. “Um, yeah. I don’t follow.”
Kit rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Sean told me that this girl, Kendalle, was staying with Sully in his room and that he had seen them affectionate backstage. And then my attorney’s investigator said Kendalle was living in the Malibu house. We assumed it was his girlfriend, but…”
Alexa grimaced. “But it was Keni. Oh shit, Kitty.” She shook her head. “I can see how that could spur a misunderstanding.” She met her eyes. “So Kendalle is Keni and she’s been on the road with him and living in his house? I get that. There was never anything romantic with me and Kirby and we were really close, but I dunno, Kitty. Guys and girls…”
Kit grinned. “I found out today that Kendalle or Keni, whatever, is a lesbian.”
Alexa’s mouth dropped open. “Oh. Well ok. Now I totally get why those two would never hook up.” She frowned. “But why is she suddenly in his life? And spending all this time with him?”
Kit sighed. “She’s got cancer. He’s being a supportive friend.”
Alexa sat back and shook her head. “That’s a tough one.” She met Kit’s eyes. “Ok, so maybe I’m not so pissed at him anymore. I mean, I’m still angry ‘cuz he’s been a shit, but that sounds like the Sully I know and love. He’d do something like that, Kitty. You know he would. Don’t get me wrong, hun, I’m not rallying for him, I’m just stating a fact.” Sensing that Kit didn’t want to continue talking about the separation, she opted to change topics.
She leaned forward. “So, I kinda got into it with Jonathan.”
Kit couldn’t stifle her chuckle as she returned her gaze to Alexa. “What? You and Jonathan had words?”
Alexa giggled. “We did. He told me I was a relentless pitbull. I did my best to plead for a retraction, but they wouldn’t back down. Lew wanted it pushed out. And whatever Lew wants…”
She sighed and grinned. “Lew gets. U
h-huh. I know that for sure. All these years working for him that’s something I learned from the start. I don’t know why he’s hell bent on doing this.” She shook her head in frustration and rolled her eyes.
Alexa placed her hand atop Kit’s. “Jonathan said they were unanimous about it. I’m sure we’ll learn their motives at dinner tonight. And a side note, your song is the most requested on KIIS FM right now. Lots of people asking how they can buy it. Spence called while you were meeting with Sull.”
She shook her head again. The entire situation seemed surreal to her. “This is too much to take in.” She chuckled. “Well, at least I’ll be a one hit wonder.”
Alexa sat back and raised her eyebrows. “Mmm, I wouldn’t get too invested in that idea. Spence has been fielding calls from practically every high powered A&R rep since your song dropped in the L.A. market. Apparently when Lew handed it off to the radio station it contained all of your management information which led them all directly to Spence. Lew knew exactly what he was doing. He’s good, Kit. He plays a level of game that’s crazy brilliant. Get ready, Kit-Kat. Get ready for your life to be nothing like it was before.”
* * *
Sully sat at the table, zoning out while the promoters chatted with Giselle, Sean and the rest of the band. For the first time in months, he hadn’t touched a line of cocaine the entire day.
After his upsetting exchange with Kit, he would have normally run to do a quick bump and shrug it off, but this time, he couldn’t. He was in his own little world, running his meeting with Kit through his head over and over again. Her words. The separation papers. He was still stunned and desperate for a good solution. He wasn’t sure what to feel.
He leaned over and whispered into Sean’s ear. “I gotta go. I can’t hang.”
Sean politely excused himself from the conversation and looked at Sully. Alexa had clued him in while Kit was meeting with Sully as to what was transpiring.
Instead of beating Sully down with an iron fist as he normally would, he gave him a slight nod and pushed his chair back, standing up. “Sorry to cut this short, but Sully here has an important meeting that he has to tend to before the show. If you’ll please excuse us.”
They nodded, smiled and waved to Sully, thanking him for his time as he walked away next to Sean. Sean led him out to where the limousines were parked.
He looked at Sully. “We can’t go far. You have to be at the arena in two hours.”
Sully pressed his lips together, then let out a long sigh. “Ok. You can take me there now. I’ll hide out in my dressing room. I just want to get my head on straight before the show.”
Sean opened the door to the limousine and Sully stepped in. He joined him minutes later, shut the door and instructed the driver to head to the arena.
Sean frowned when he noticed how preoccupied Sully had become with the radio, like he was searching for something. He finally found what he was looking for and sat back, staring out the window in a daze silently while a UB40 song played.
The deejay came on and was talking about it being the top of the hour. His voice rang out as he said, “…And here’s our most requested song since it premiered a half hour ago on Z100, this is ‘All of Me,’ by hot new artist, Kit-Kat.”
Sully jumped into action, kneeling in front of the stereo in the back of the limo, cranking the knob at full volume. He stared at the radio as if Kit were in it, his eyes trained, his body immobile. He listened intently to every note, every word, taking it in completely.
Intrigued, Sean moved forward to the edge of his seat, eager to hear Kit’s new song. He wasn’t surprised by the lyrics and the pain behind them. He loved the song, not entirely surprised at how amazing it was. There was never a doubt about Kit’s talents. He watched Sully carefully knowing that handling him would be his main objective after the song concluded.
Tears started streaming down Sully’s face as he slumped to the ground, defeated. He sobbed silently as the song continued, listening to every word and feeling the gravity of them deeply. He felt her betrayal. He felt her anguish. Her felt her loneliness. He felt her grief. It was almost too much to bear. He held his hands to his heart feeling like it was breaking inside chest.
As the song started to come to an end, the deejay came back on and started talking about some random upcoming event before moving onto the next song.
Sully took a moment to compose himself before looking at Sean. “I need to go to New York tonight. She’s headed to New York right now, right? Even if it’s only for an hour, Sean. I have to see her.”
Sean sighed and shook his head. “Sully…”
He pleaded with his eyes. “Sean, please.”
Before Sean could answer, the limousine came to a stop in the bowels underneath the arena. Sean glanced out the window. “We’re here.”
He was about to open the door when Sully grabbed his arm, a desperate look in his eye. “Can you please help me with this?”
Sean sighed. It was the first time he had seen Sully sober in months and knew helping him garnered a better chance of him maintaining that sobriety.
He met his eyes. “Sull, we can give you time in New York, that’s not the problem. We’re headed to the Meadowlands in the morning. We can helicopter you into Manhattan. Honestly, I just don’t know that Kit will want to see you. I can put a call in, but I can’t make any promises. I don’t know where she’s staying.”
Sully shifted his eyes down. “I do. She’s probably staying at Lex’s place. That’s usually where we stay when we’re in New York. Lex hates me now.”
He shook his head and continued. “Can’t say I blame her at this point.” He lifted his head and met Sean’s eyes in silent desperation. “I’ve really fucked up my life, haven’t I?”
The last thing Sean wanted to do was have this conversation with Sully in the back of a limousine. He felt increasingly uncomfortable. “One thing at a time. Sully, you’ve got a show in one hour. Focus on that. Your fans are depending on you.”
As he finished his sentence, the chauffeur opened the door and Sean stepped out. He glared at the driver, frustrated, and huffed. “Took you long enough to open the bloody door!”
Sean stormed off in the direction of the production offices as Sully got out. He slowly made his way back to the dressing room, relieved the band hadn’t yet arrived. He tucked away where no one could find him to numb himself from his crumbling world.
CHAPTER 14
The housekeeper led Kit and Alexa into the front sitting room in Lew’s enormous Upper East Side brownstone. They exchanged a look with each other, impressed with the beauty of it. Kit had been there many times before, but it was Alexa’s first time and she was thoroughly charmed with the experience.
Jonathan stood up and greeted them with a smile while Lew remained fixed on the sofa. “Welcome, Ladies. Glad you could be here.”
Kit exchanged a quick embrace with Jonathan and then headed over to Lew while he and Alexa engaged in small talk.
She sat down next to Lew and threw her arm around him. “What’s up with you sitting here? Am I not good enough to get up for anymore?”
He chuckled and welcomed her into an embrace and then kissed her on the cheek. “Just a little winded. Jonathan threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t sit down and stay down. He’s a chip off the old block so I didn’t doubt his words. He mighta clocked me.” He winked at Kit and they shared a laugh.
She then gazed into his docile brown eyes. “What the fuck is going on, Lew?”
He patted her knee. “What’s going on is that you have a hot single that’s in demand and its official release is on Tuesday. People want to buy it at record stores. They’ve been asking for it. We have a long waiting list from retailers. Gotta tell ya, I knew what you’d put together would be great, I didn’t expect it to be phenomenal. But then again, I shouldn’t be all that surprised with your track record.”
She chuckled and shook her head. “Ok. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. What I meant is why did you le
ad me down this road in the first place? Obviously I took the bait and now here we are and I have no idea of your intention behind this massive snowball that’s continuing to get larger.”
She met his eyes and stared intently. “You always have a very calculated, deliberate reason. I highly doubt you pushed this out just to prove your point that I’m an artist. This has to go deeper. There’s an angle here.”
He chuckled. “You do know me well. There is an angle. That’s what Jon and I are going to discuss with you and Alexa over dinner. Your brother should be here any minute. He’s going to be briefed too. He’s a good manager for you so far, Kit. You two have similar styles.”
She grinned. “Spence is great, but he’s also my CEO for KMK. He can’t stay my manager. I’d prefer to have him as CEO. He’s done amazing things with my company and I want to see him continue to lead the charge. He has to find a suitable team for me.”
Lew nodded. “Indeed he does. Tall order. The guy has his work cut out for him.” He shifted his attention to Alexa and Jonathan. “Cocktails? Who wants cocktails?”
Jonathan wagged his finger at Lew and retorted flatly, “Not you.”
Kit surveyed Lew, Jonathan and Alexa as they mingled and drinks arrived. Lew was drinking sparkling water again and Kit joined him, favoring being coherent and fully focused while they discussed her career later that evening.
She could tell that something was off with Lew. He looked a bit tired and not as dynamic as he normally was. She wondered if his health was in greater decline than Jonathan had disclosed to her. The thought sent shivers up her spine. She couldn’t bear it and immediately went to join in the conversation.
As the dessert course concluded and they all returned to Lew’s large study for coffee and discussion, Kit said goodnight to Sherri and got comfortable on one of the sofas. She knew that social hour was over and now they would be getting down to business.