by J. M. Nevins
She searched his steel-blue eyes and felt relief noticing that he was sober. It was the first time she had seen this kind of clarity in his eyes in several months. She prayed it wasn’t fleeting.
She sighed. “Sully, he has been in my life since I’ve been in this industry professionally. How do I possibly navigate without him? He was my north star and my protector.”
Sully grinned and stroked her cheek again. “You did just fine without him. That was part of the appeal. He came looking for you, remember? You had put us on the map all on your own. You played hardball with him even though you wanted nothing more than to work for him. You still made him work for it. As far as being your protector, I can see why you’d say that, but realize now you’ve got your own posse. Spence, Lex, Wes… me. And you definitely have Jonathan and Pete in your corner.”
He nodded and took her face into his hands softly, gazing deeply into her eyes. “I get it though, babe. He’s family. He’s like a father to you. He’s been a constant in your life for about the last eight years, which we both know is like 24 years in the music industry.” He donned a knowing grin.
She giggled through her tears silently agreeing and being amused with his statement. “Oh so true.”
Sully nodded. “Let it all out. Yes, it is a major loss. Take the time to grieve, baby. But don’t stay there. Lew wouldn’t have wanted you to. Knowing Lew he would have wanted you to create and blow up the industry on your terms.” He smiled and winked.
She grinned. “That sounds just like him. I knew you’d get it. Thank you.” She took his hand in hers and squeezed it.
He nodded. “You’re welcome. Do you want me to leave so you can go back to sleep?”
She shook her head. “No. Can you lay with me? Even if it’s only for a few hours. I’m sure at some point I’ll go over to the house and see Sherri and Jonathan. Right now I can’t even think about that. I just need you to hold me.”
Sully nodded, kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed with her fully clothed, pulling her close to him and kissing her on forehead.
He held her tightly. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”
Kit’s eyes fluttered open several hours later. She could feel Sully wrapped around her and then remembered why. She stared straight ahead, not moving while he slept soundly.
She wasn’t easily embracing the new reality of Lew no longer being part of her world. She prayed again that it was all a bad dream, but seeing as Sully was still pressed up against her, spooning her, she knew it wasn’t.
In a moment of deep vulnerability and tremendous grief she reached out to the one man she was trying to get away from, yet having him there brought her more peace than she had imagined. He felt like home and it disturbed her.
She jogged her memory back a few hours prior, grateful nothing had transpired aside from Sully being a good enough partner to soothe her and make her feel safe in her time of need. She worried, though, that her immediate dependence on him may have given him the wrong idea.
As good as it felt to be in his arms, she knew it could be a recipe for disaster. She gently started extracting herself from his grasp, doing her best not to wake him. It didn’t work. She heard his sleepy voice seconds later.
He squinted groggily. “How are you doing, Kitty?”
She sat up and looked at him, feeling a deep love for him that scared her, yet unwilling to surrender to it. She felt conflicted, yet the vulnerability creeping in again was pulling her back in.
The longing for him to take care of her was playing out. It was something she had been wanting for months and now it was here. Still being attracted to him yet knowing he was no longer a fit for her was a dangerous place to be, especially in a bed with him. She replayed the day when he left to resume the tour and it was enough to jar her out of the situation and put her guard back up.
She broke free of his grasp entirely and avoided his gaze. “I’m ok, I guess. I better get going. I’m sure the Diamond family needs me in some capacity.” She moved to the edge of the bed and swung her legs over to the side, hastily throwing on a pair of black flats.
As she was about to stand, Sully took her hand in his and squeezed it, speaking softly. “Don’t go. Stay. C’mon, give yourself time to process this. Running off isn’t going to help. I’m sure they’ll understand if you need a little time.”
She knew he was right, but she opted to gently pull her hand away instead. He was speaking to her heart and she was desperate to break free of his influence.
She sighed, unable to face him. “Sully, I think it’s best that I go and that you go too. I was feeling really out of sorts last night and…”
He sat up calmly and nodded, his penetrating gaze unwavering. “You wanted me to comfort you. I know. I get it.”
She glanced over her shoulder and forced a grin. “Ok, good.”
She hastily made her way toward the door, grabbing a pair of jeans and a sweater on the way, desperate to take a shower and get out of her pajamas.
She felt relief wash over her as he appeared to be ok with leaving things as they were and nothing else. She grabbed the doorknob and was about to turn it when Sully’s voice stopped her in her tracks. She glanced over at him.
He watched her carefully and he held up his hands. “I’ll go willingly.”
He then propped himself up onto his elbows and met her eyes. “But don’t forget it was me you called when you needed someone. I was the first person that popped into your mind when you wanted soothing… when you wanted comfort. Me, Kit. You’ve told me for years that you wanted me to take care of you, yet you never let me. There have only been two times recently, one when you were in the hospital and two was last night. Me, it was me you asked to take care of you.” He pointed to himself as he stared at her.
His steel-blue eyed gaze was cutting right through to her soul as he continued. “That’s because you love me and I love you. We’re still in love, Kit. There’s no denying it. I love you more than anyone or anything and I’d do anything for you. Including cleaning up my act completely and stepping up—being the man you always wanted. Hell, being ten times better than that.” He nodded. “And I think you know that I can do it.”
She sighed, closed her eyes and gently placed her forehead on the door. “Sully, please don’t do this. Not right now.”
She stared straight ahead, refusing to look at him. He was getting to her. Her heart was screaming to give him another shot, yet her mind kept broadcasting the pain she felt over of the groupie incident and rampant drug use.
She swallowed hard. The only solution she could find was to get him out of her space. That was the only way she could get back to clarity.
She spoke firmly. “Please leave.” She opened the door and burst into the hallway with a start, quickly making her way to the bathroom and not looking back.
CHAPTER 16
Alexa offered Kit a compassionate look. “If you need anything, call me. I can be there in a matter of minutes, ok?”
She nodded and then sighed, her eyes filling with tears. “This feels like shit, Lex.”
Alexa nodded and squeezed her hand. “I know.” She was about to continue when her phone rang. She offered a friendly grin to Kit. “It’s probably my driver telling me the car is outside. I’m sure he’s returned from dropping off Sully.” She answered the phone.
Kit watched her carefully and immediately realized it wasn’t the driver. She tilted her head to the side and wondered if it was Jonathan based on the conversation Alexa was having.
Alexa hung up the phone and grabbed her purse. “Looks like I’m going with you after all.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Huh? No offense, Lex, but I thought this was a family thing.”
Alexa shrugged her shoulders and ushered Kit along. “I guess Lew said something to Sherri last night that she wants to share with all of us. Jonathan said it was related to your career. It was one of the last things Lew said, so Sherri is viewing this as a dying wish.”
Kit let ou
t a long sigh. “Leave it to Lew to leave a dying wish for me. Jesus, no pressure. Fuck. Even from the grave he’s nudging me. Am I right?”
Alexa chuckled. “Lew went out true to his style. Let’s go.”
When Kit and Alexa arrived at the Diamond home with Spencer in tow, they were shocked at how Sherri was buzzing around, coordinating efforts. The foyer and front room were overflowing with expensive floral arrangements from countless admirers, friends and colleagues offering condolences. Jonathan approached them, looking like he hadn’t had one wink of sleep.
Kit met his eyes as she motioned to Sherri. “Is she ok?”
Jonathan glanced over at her. “No, she’s not. This is her way of coping. Chris is holed up in the study making calls too, but his are more business related. He’s tuned out from us and is burying himself in work. He has a meeting in midtown in five minutes. He’ll be heading out. As I’m sure you’ve figured, the emergency board meeting is postponed. Chris will reschedule it next week and it will be in L.A.”
Spencer looked at Jonathan. “To be honest, we all feel a little uncomfortable being here. We don’t want to impose at such a difficult time.”
Jonathan chuckled. “This is what my dad would have wanted.” He shook his head. “It’s not easy, no, but I almost feel like he’s egging me on to do it. He was very clear about some things last night before he went to sleep. He had a long talk with Mom and well, Kit, you were part of the conversation.” He motioned to the formal dining room. “Let’s hole up in there. I’ll go grab Mom.”
Kit exchanged a look with her brother and Alexa. “I have no idea what any of this means. I’m confused.”
Spencer nodded. “That makes two of us.”
Sherri entered the dining room and grinned at all of them. “Thank you so much for coming. Jonathan expressed your concern and I thank you for that, but right now we’re trying to get through each moment. Lew was very clear with me about a lot of things last night. He had such tremendous clarity and some of it involves you, Kit. It involves you and your new career as an artist and your team.”
Kit frowned, noticing Jonathan had left the room. She met Sherri’s normally bright light blue eyes that were bloodshot and puffy from hours of crying and little sleep. “My career as an artist? You mean he was serious about the whole Kit-Kat global phenomenon thing? But I thought my album was just a one off?”
Before Sherri could respond, Jonathan entered the room with a document in his hand. He picked up where his mother left off. “Originally, yes, that was the plan, however, my dad couldn’t resist the success your single was having. He was over the moon.”
He met her eyes. “And yes, he was serious about the Kit-Kat global phenomenon thing. Kit, how many songs do you have in the hopper right now? Excluding the B side to your current single.”
She thought about it. She had been writing pretty consistently since the shooting and the separation from Sully had only contributed to her prolific songwriting. She had six songs to record.
She had been surprised at how easily they had flowed through her. “I’ve got six roughly on paper, Jon. I showed them to Lew. They need to be arranged. I could probably squeeze out two more. Why? The ones I have still need work. They’re barely formed.”
Sherri was quick to jump in. “That explains things. Among other things, he left notes on arrangements for six songs. Those must be the ones that you shared with him. Lew also wanted a much tighter timeline for release than what you had originally been discussing.”
She nodded and continued. “He’s already had the paperwork drawn up for your song with NARAS for consideration. It’s being submitted by Jonathan on Tuesday. He’s put a bug in the ears of the powers that be to watch you as a rising star for the pop genre. In other words, he had Grammy fever over you. I hadn’t seen him that excited in years and it was fun to witness last night. He was like a child on Christmas Eve who could hardly wait for Santa to come.”
Sherri contemplated the memory introspectively, grinned and continued. “He wanted to see if he could get you into the studio to cut more songs in addition to the ones you already have, so you have a complete album as soon as possible. He wanted to push for having you complete them in a week or two, but I told him that wasn’t fair. He did back off on that. So, you do have some wiggle room, but you know my husband, it’s not much.”
Kit’s eyes widened. She was still stuck back at what Sherri had said moments earlier. “So, Lew actually filled out the paperwork. Lew is submitting my song for consideration for a Grammy?” She looked perplexed. “He really went through with it? I thought he was joking.” She sighed and sat back, stunned.
Her next words slipped off of her tongue before she could retract them. “What the fuck? I thought this single and album thing was just for positioning to give me a leg up on the CEO position? I thought the whole Grammy thing and global phenomenon was a joke!”
Jonathan shook his head and grinned. “Not so, apparently. As you know, my dad is… er, was, full of surprises. And, he never joked about Grammys. Ever.” He held up the documents. “Here’s your revised record deal. I did my best to honor Dad’s intentions in its structure including a massive bump in promotions spend. Mom reviewed it too.” He slid it across the table to Spencer.
Kit glanced at her brother, desperate for a reaction. Spencer started reading through the contents of the contract. He couldn’t deny it, the terms were tremendously generous and released Kit of any long term obligations whatsoever once she delivered the album and the tour.
Spencer was happy to see that Lew hadn’t missed one detail and in light of all the turbulence going on with Diamond and Majestic, had created a deal that gave Kit wings instead of trapping her. There was only one red flag.
Spencer looked at Jonathan and Sherri as he handed the contract to Kit who seized it and immediately started scouring its contents.
He continued. “It looks good, Jon. Realistically, I don’t know that we can hit that date for an album. An EP, maybe, but we’re not talking EP.”
He leaned forward and locked eyes on Jonathan. “The deadline is four weeks from today. Four weeks to get the right team in place, figure out the concept, start sessions to develop the album and rehearse. Not to mention all the promos, shows and videos that go along with it. That’s insanity, Jon. You’re well acquainted with the video production side. Kit is a pro and even for a pro that’s a stretch. Seriously, even Sully wouldn’t be able to tackle this. It’s beyond aggressive. We need more breathing room here to produce quality work.”
As Kit read the document, she felt a tremendous nudge to do it. She thought it was crazy too. They wanted her to deliver a video for her single in a week. She had never been the subject of the video shoot. She’d been on countless shoots with Gypsy Tango for their videos, but that was different.
The song was so personal that she struggled a bit knowing it would be put into another medium—video—that would blast her innermost thoughts out on MTV. She had no idea how it would get done, but with the right team, she knew she could do it.
She interjected. “I’ll do it. But, I need the right team. I need a good manager because Spence is being spread too thin. I want a good creative team on the video that is congruent with my vision for the song and sensitive to its deeply personal nature. I want Bryan Donald to be released from his touring contract so he can play on my album and any shows I do when I need him to. I want A-Dub and his team to produce the rest of the songs for a cohesive sound. And I will need an epic studio to record this in rather than my own at home. I want to start fresh.”
Sherri and Jonathan exchanged a look. He met Kit’s eyes and grinned. “Done. And we’ll work the board meeting around your schedule.”
She grinned. “Then we’ve got a deal. Thank you for the flexibility in the contract. I’ll do this for Lew and then we’ll see what happens after that.”
Spencer stood up. “Jonathan, Alexa, can we pow-wow?” They nodded in agreement.
Sherri grinned. “Perfect timin
g. I wanted a moment alone with Kit.”
She reached out for Sherri’s hand, squeezing it. “I’m so sorry, Sherri. This has got to be heart-wrenching for you.”
Sherri struggled with her tears as she nodded and a nervous chuckle escaped. “It hasn’t fully sunk in yet. It’s like when he goes on a business trip. I keep on expecting him to come through the door. Except this time he won’t be walking back through the door calling out to me.”
She met Kit’s eyes. “He did think of you as a daughter. Hell, we both do. You’re an integral part of this family. We want you to be at the interment. It’s private. Family only. We’ll do a big memorial service in L.A. later in the fall. As soon as we know the arrangements, I’ll let you know.”
She grinned through her tears. “Now that recording career of yours. Lew could not contain his elation over your single and your future as Kit-Kat. He told me he wanted to get more out of you. He said that this was what he always envisioned for you, beyond your legal wizardry, beyond your management prowess, beyond your record exec duties.”
She nodded knowingly. “When you went through with it and created that single, it was like you fulfilled one of his wishes. That being said, while he was over the moon about your single, he made it clear that he wanted that album out of you with urgency. As you know he had full intent of being your executive producer and being by your side every step of the way. He kept going on and on about how you would be a major pop star and a force to be reckoned with. That’s why he was pushing so hard for you to get your single recorded.”
Sherri put her hand atop Kit’s. “Honey, I don’t know if any of that interests you. My husband is…um, was…” Sherri sighed for a moment, struggling a bit, as her eyes welled up with tears. Kit squeezed her hand in hopes of comforting her.
Sherri nodded and continued. “Lew was headstrong. Absolutely unyielding when it came to causes and things he was passionate about. Music was one of those things. The possibility of you being one of his star artists was one of those things. He was very clear that he wanted to see you expand not only as an artist related to music, but also try your hand at acting in a few productions. He said you have movie star quality and he could see you up on the big screen. He had full intention of setting up a meeting with one of the best talent agents in L.A. He did put a call in last night, so you may be hearing from someone soon. I know this is a lot to throw at you. I’m just sharing his last wishes. I thought you would want to know. And Kit…”