by E. L. Todd
My skin was on fire the second he touched me.
He pulled me further into him then gave me a slow kiss. The hair coming in around his lips brushed against me, tickling me slightly. His hands squeezed me harder, moving up to my ribcage.
Man, he was a good kisser.
He pulled away and looked down into my face. The heat was still in his eyes like he needed the kiss. His fingers moved up my neck until they pulled the hair from my face. “What’s wrong?”
I tilted my head because I hadn’t expected him to say that. “What makes you think anything is wrong?” After he kissed me and pinned me against the counter, my troubles floated away.
“I don’t know. I can just tell. It’s like a sixth sense.”
The feeling was mutual. I could practically read Hawke’s mind because I was so in tune with his soul. “Axel left not too long ago.”
He rolled his eyes. “This should be good…”
“He told me I shouldn’t be with you because of the type of guy you are.”
A hurt look stretched across his face. “And what did you say?” He asked the question even though he already knew the answer.
“You aren’t that type of guy with me.”
His eyes softened.
“I’m not that angry with him because I know he means well…but he’s really annoying.”
“You can say that again.”
“I know he feels responsible for me since Dad is gone but I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I’ve never needed that.”
“That’s not true.” He didn’t blink as he looked at me. “You need me.”
My hands moved around his waist. “That’s the one exception.”
He cupped the back of my neck then pressed his lips to my forehead. The touch burned even when he pulled away. “What do we do?”
“What do you mean?”
“About Axel.”
“There’s nothing to do. He’ll have to get over it. It’s not our problem.”
He stared at the ground. “I don’t want it to be this way. You need each other.”
“Nothing would ever keep us apart. But he needs some time to get over his Godfather act.”
Hawke chuckled slightly. “It means a lot to me that you’re standing beside me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” I held his gaze as I spoke. “I know you better than he does.”
He held the look then gave me a quick kiss. “You can really look the other way?”
I knew what he meant. “I never think about it, Hawke. What you did before me is irrelevant. I only care about the present, not the past or the future.”
He gripped my hips then lifted me on the counter, standing between my legs. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
“Yes.” I tried not to smile.
He rubbed his nose against mine. “But you do care about the future, right? Because I do.”
“I learned not to dwell on it because anything can change in the blink of an eye.” Losing my parents had aged me about twenty years. I was no longer petty or closed-minded. Death changed people.
He kissed the corner of my mouth. “But some things never change.”
I held his look and saw the fire spark in his eyes. He only looked at me this way and nobody else. I was special in many ways, and especially this one. My legs tightened around his hips and I pulled him closer to me. My back was against the microwave and I had a quick fantasy about us rolling around on my kitchen floor. No other man made me so hot.
The same thought crossed his mind. It was obvious on the surface of his eyes. His arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me to his chest as he gave me a breathtaking kiss. Without using his tongue, he gave me slow and passionate kisses. He knew exactly what he was doing and what I liked. Or maybe I just liked anything he had to give.
My hands moved up his sweater and shirt and I felt the hardness of his body. He was so fine and I wanted him right then and there. I wasn’t the type of person to rush into something, but I knew I didn’t need to wait anymore.
The front door opened and shattered our moment. “They let me go early because it was slow.” Marie rounded the corner and tossed her bag on the table. When she saw us tangled together on the counter, she stopped. “Oh…didn’t mean to interrupt.” A wicked look was in her eyes.
Hawke pulled away from me slightly. “Hello, Marie.”
I gave her a nasty look.
“What?” Marie asked. “You never told me you were having company. And second of all, are you guys actually together or is that weird friend thing still going on?”
Hawke turned his gaze on me and waited for me to respond.
“We’re not doing that weird friend thing anymore.” I hopped off the counter and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Finally.” She released a dramatic sigh. “That shit was getting old.”
Hawke chuckled lightly to himself.
“Well, I’m sure walking in on us kissing is going to get old.”
“Kissing?” Marie released a fake laugh. “You guys were about to bone.”
My cheeks reddened.
Hawke didn’t seem embarrassed at all.
“By the way, is your brother seeing anyone?” Marie took off her jacket and hung it on the coat rack.
“Stay away from him,” I blurted.
“What?” She put her hands on her hips. “You think he’s too good for me?”
“No. You’re too good for him. He’s a heartbreaker, Marie. Steer clear of him.”
“Well, I’m not looking for something serious. Just a little fun would be nice…”
I cringed. “Go have fun with someone else.”
“He’s never paid any attention to me before,” Marie said. “When he came over he wouldn’t stop staring at me.”
“He thinks you’re hot,” Hawke blurted.
“Really?” Marie twisted a strand of hair in interest. “He said that?”
“Unfortunately,” I said.
“I used to have the biggest crush on him,” Marie said. “And now it’s the other way around.”
“Marie, do what you want.” I didn’t control my best friend. “But he’ll hurt you. You’ve been warned.”
“Like I didn’t say the same thing about him.” She nodded to Hawke. “And I was totally wrong.” She grabbed her purse. “I’ll be in my room so you guys can go back to screwing in the kitchen. Just sanitize when you’re finished. Remember, I eat in here.” She walked down the hall and disappeared into her bedroom.
When we were alone again, Hawke turned to me. “You didn’t tell her?”
“I haven’t seen her.”
He looked away in satisfaction.
“Don’t tell me you’re one of those possessive boyfriends that need everyone to know just how special you are.” I gave him a taunting smile.
“I’m not sure what kind of boyfriend I am. I’ve never been one before.”
I hopped back on the counter. “Now, let’s get back to work.”
“Work?” He moved between my legs. “If I got paid to do this, I’d work overtime every day.” His hands moved to my hips, and his fingers stretched to my ass.
“I’d be employee of the month.”
He chuckled lightly before he leaned in to kiss me.
The alarm on the stove went off.
Hawke pulled away and looked at the oven.
“Goddammit.” Why was the universe stopping me from getting laid?
“Looks like they’re done.” Hawke shoved his hand into an oven mitt then pulled the pan out before he set it on the counter. His eyes roamed over the cupcakes before he saw the engraving at the end. His eyes noticeably softened. “You like the pan?”
“I love it.” I jumped off the counter then turned off the oven. “When I open my bakery, this pan will make the first batch.”
“And many more.” He pulled a cupcake out then took a bite.
“Isn’t that hot?”
“Not hotter than you.”
I picked one up then pee
led the wrapper down.
He finished his with another bite. “You really know your way around the kitchen. What’s your secret?”
“Like I’d tell you,” I said with a laugh.
“You think I’m going to run to Martha Stewart and spill the beans?”
“You might…if she offered you the right price.”
He moved close to me. “There’s no higher price than the value of your heart.” His thumb brushed away the crumbs along my mouth. Then he leaned in and kissed away the chocolate pudding in the corner of my mouth.
I melted into a puddle on the floor, and I was certain my panties did too. “Okay…enough of this.”
He pulled away with confusion on his face.
I grabbed his hand and turned off the kitchen light. “We’re going to bed.”
“It’s six o’clock.”
“Not to sleep, you idiot.”
He chuckled from behind me. “Whatever you say, Muffin.”
When we were in my bedroom, I immediately pulled his sweater off then yanked his shirt over his head. My hands went to his jeans and practically ripped them off.
“This is romantic.”
“Why aren’t you as hard up as I am?”
He cocked an eyebrow before he grabbed my hand and pressed it against his length through his boxers. “I am.”
“Then let’s do this.” I grabbed my shirt and started to pull it off.
He grabbed it and steadied it. “I’m not going to have sex with you when Marie is in the next room.”
“What?” I couldn’t keep the disappointment out of my voice. “Why the hell not?”
“Because I want you to be as loud as you want. And I’m sure Marie doesn’t want to hear that.”
“Since when did you become a goodie-goodie?”
“The day I met you.” He pulled my shirt down. “Is this really how you want it to be? A quick bang while we try to be quiet so your friend doesn’t hear us? I’ve been down this road before. I don’t want to go down it with you.”
I realized how impatient I was. “I just want you. Is that such a bad thing?”
“No.” Both of his hands moved into my hair. “And I want you. I’ve wanted to bend you over my bed and fuck you until you came around my dick since the second I laid eyes on you. But now I want so much more.” He pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. “And I know you do too.”
***
We lay in bed together, our bellies full of cupcakes. Hawke had his arm around my waist and my leg was tucked between his. Instead of sleeping, we stared at each other.
Hawke’s eyes showed his mind hard at work. He was thinking about so many things. Every thought danced across the surface of his eyes, but they passed by so quickly I couldn’t read them. “How do you stay so positive all the time?”
I held his gaze as I processed his question.
“You’ve lost so much. How are you so…happy?”
“My mom always used to say life was meant to be enjoyed. I try to live by those words every day. Because years will pass by like a second, and before you know it, you’re at the end.”
His fingers rubbed the skin of my waist gently. “But how do you not wait for the end?”
His words burned my heart. Hawke’s depression was always evident in every look he gave, but I didn’t realize just how bad it was. “I just don’t think about it. It takes just as much effort to be happy as to be miserable. You may as well put your efforts towards the first one.”
He nodded slightly.
“And there are always things worth living for. Yaya is the most inspirational person to me. She’s lost more than anyone I’ve ever known, but she still finds a reason to be happy. I try to be more like her every day.”
“You’re just like her—in every good way imaginable.”
“Thank you.” That was the best compliment I’d ever received. “Are you still unhappy?”
His eyes dilated slightly. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life—because of you.”
“Me too.” My hand moved up his chest.
“All I’ve known is a broken family and an empty home. When I came to your place for Thanksgiving, I’ve never felt so…comfortable. It opened my eyes and made me realize there’s a lot more to life than alcohol, violence, and lies.”
Losing my parents was painful, but I would much rather lose someone I loved with my whole heart than to suffer the existence of someone I hated. “I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be. You’ve made my life worth living.” He pulled down the sleeve of my shirt and exposed my bare shoulder. He pressed a kiss there, lighting me on fire. “I started your journal.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. It held all my darkest feelings and thoughts. I’d exposed myself to him, letting me see every raw piece.
“It’s painful to read but it does help. I feel like I know you in a way no one else ever will.”
“You already do.”
“I can’t believe you gave that to me.”
I can. “I just knew…” There were no other words to describe it.
He pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I love kissing you. I’ve never loved kissing anyone before.”
“Probably because I’m an amazing kisser.” I wiggled my eyebrows.
He chuckled. “Maybe. Or maybe we’re both amazing.”
“No…it’s just me.”
He tickled me slightly. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
I laughed and swatted his hand away. “I’m lucky you’re damn hot.”
He grinned in a cocky way. “I am pretty hot.”
I tickled him in return. “Now look who’s full of himself.”
“I’m a man,” he said with a laugh. “It’s okay for me to be full of myself.”
“You sound like a sexist pig.”
He grabbed both of my hands and pinned them above my head. “You want me to tickle you again? This time, I won’t let go.”
I pouted my lips and gave him my best puppy dog eyes.
“Good girl.” He released my hands.
“What did you just call me?” The fire ignited immediately. “I’m not a dog.”
“You just gave me those puppy dog eyes.”
“Let me tell you something—”
He grabbed my face and kissed me.
Like always, it shut me up.
Date Night
Hawke
I arrived at her door with a gift. I wrapped it myself, using YouTube again, and placed a pink bow on top.
Francesca opened the door wearing skinny jeans and a tight fitting top. Her curves were outlined, and I wanted to feel every valley and groove with my tongue. But that would have to wait.
“You got me something?” She took the box out of my hand.
“Well, you don’t strike me as a flower type of girl.”
She smiled then ripped the wrapping off. It was brownie mix.
“You know, when you feel like cutting corners and not making it from scratch.”
She looked up at me with green eyes that twinkled like Christmas lights. “Thank you. It’s very thoughtful.” She set it on the table in the entryway then shut the door behind her. “Where are we off to?”
“Dinner.”
“Ooh…like a real date?”
“Yep.” I grabbed her hand then pulled her to my truck.
“Where are we going?”
“You like steak?”
“I eat anything.”
I grinned at her response. “Anything?”
“Yep.”
“Low maintenance… I like it.”
“You already knew that.” She hit my arm playfully before she got into the passenger seat.
We drove to the restaurant then walked inside. The place was a little upscale, but I didn’t want to go somewhere ordinary for my first official date with Francesca. I pulled the chair out for her before I took my seat across the table. “Wine?”
“Sure.”
I ordered a bottle of wine the
n looked at the menu. “What are you getting?” “Probably the sirloin…or maybe the cheese fondue.”
“Couldn’t be more different from each other.”
“Well, I like meat. But I also love cheese…” She rubbed her lips together while she was deep in thought.
I tried not to laugh. She acted like a tomboy sometimes, but in a cute way. “I’m getting the filet mignon.”
“I didn’t ask.”
I gave her a playful glare. “Do you ever get tired of being a smartass?”
“Nope.” She kept staring at the menu.
“Have you decided?”
“Uh…it’s so tough.”
The waiter approached our table. “Ready?”
“Yes,” I said quickly. “She’ll have the sirloin and the cheese fondue.”
Francesca’s mouth gaped open. “I can’t eat all of that.”
“Who are you kidding?” I loved the angry look on her face. “And I’ll take the filet mignon.” I handed the menus over.
“Very good.” The waiter walked away.
She immediately started the argument. “There’s no way I can eat both.”
“I’ll help you.”
“You’re going to make me fat.”
“I’ve always liked curvy women.”
She sipped her wine and her look of irritation started to diminish.
“How was your day?”
“Good. I got an A on my history paper.”
“Good job.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t really try so it doesn’t feel like I accomplished anything. At least I only have one more semester to go and I’ll be finished.”
“And you’ll be out in the real world.”
“Ugh.”
I chuckled. “It’s not so bad.”
“It sounds like you hate your job.”
“I hate being an intern—big difference.”
“When will you be done?” she asked.
“Pretty soon. I sent some resumes out. Someone will probably hire me.”
“You don’t want to stay there?”
I shook my head. “No.” My dream was to go to New York, but I didn’t tell her that. I wasn’t sure why.
“May I ask why?”
“It’s just not the kind of company I want to work for.”