by Laine Watson
When the door opened, he lost the sensual gaze in his eye as he turned his head to see who was coming in the house. Kira dropped her bag by my shoes as she closed the door behind her.
“Hey.” I smiled, following her with my eyes. She crossed the room with a deep sigh, stomping into the kitchen and slamming cabinets. She was letting me know that she wasn’t expecting company.
“I—I should go,” Carson mumbled, darting his eyes back and forth from me to her.
“Yeah, you should,” Kira said slamming another cabinet door after getting a glass from it and clanking it on the surface of the counters as she put it down. “Since I don’t know who the hell you are.”
“Kira!” I tried to convey in my eyes that she shouldn’t take that tone with him, but I don’t think she cared.
Carson headed toward the door quickly.
“Wait!” I called, grabbing my phone and following him toward the door. I caught up to him by the time he opened the door. “What’s your number?” I asked, handing him my phone.
He let go of the door handle and took my phone from me typing quickly then handing it back to me. He glanced up at me once and then left.
I was jarred completely for a moment as I watched him walk away. Every step he took with his barely bowed legs and perfect jeans widened my small smile. I shook off the tantalizing feeling that watching him walk away gave me and quickly programmed his number in my phone under Moon with one hand as I held on to the doorknob with the other. Pushing my phone into my pocket, I shut the door as I eyed Kira who was drinking orange juice and leaning against the counter.
“What the fuck was that attitude, Kira?” I marched over to her, swinging my arms.
“You’d better not have had sex with him in the living room. I’m tired of all these different guys. Now you’re bringing them home?”
“It’s not like I just bring anyone here,” I said, with my hands in the air beside me.
“Seems like that’s going to be the new ‘norm,’” she said, sitting the glass, forcefully, yet carefully on the counter behind her and folding her arms. Her dark hair swooshed across her chest every time she moved. Her thin frame was cute and petite, underneath a cotton crew neck shirt and straight legged jeans. Her hazel eyes were fiery with contempt, and I didn’t know why. Of all the people in the world, she was most accepting of my choices. So how could she be so pissed?
I frowned. “I know I’ve slept with a lot of guys. But so what? You don’t usually have a problem with it.”
“Do you even know him?”
“Y-e-a-h...” I said, darting my eyes in many directions as I bit my bottom lip.
“You’re lying.” She narrowed her eyes at me.
Yeah, but, I thought gazing toward the door, he’s different than any other guy I’ve met.
“So what? He’s really cute and—we haven’t had sex yet. I’ve literally only known him for two or three hours—don’t you think he’s adorable?”
“If you like skinny Asian dudes,” she said dryly, folding her arms across her chest tighter, still with tapered eyes.
“Let’s get one thing straight. There’s a difference between thin and toned. He is toned. If it wasn’t for you, I would have been sliding my tongue up and down his toned body right now.” I huffed, stomping my foot and angling my chin at her. “Why are you so angry?” I put my fists on my hips.
“I’m not angry.” She sighed, hopelessly, hunching her shoulders as her arms fell to her side.
“Are you jealous?” I screwed my face up.
“Of course not,” she laughed, mockingly. “It’s just lately you haven’t been as vocal about stuff. Like, who is this dude?”
“I literally just met him. And yes I have. Everyone else you know about. I know it might seem like I’m just fucking anything that walks, but I’m not—okay, I totally was freshman and sophomore year, but not anymore. You met Sawyer, right?”
A thoughtful stare came to her eyes, “He’s bi, right?” she said, grabbing her glass of orange juice from the counter and taking a sip as she carefully walked over to the sofa.
I followed her and sat down in the chair as she sat on the couch.
“Yeah.” I smiled, tucking my legs underneath me and leaning on the arm of the chair.
“And you guys have never been in a real relationship together?” she asked, suspiciously.
“No. He took my virginity and we’ve sort of always had a ‘more than friends’ relationship, but that’s all it’s ever been. He does his thing. I do mine.”
“And you’re fine with it? You’re supposed to lose your virginity with someone special.”
“I mean...” I bowed my head and twiddled with my fingers, staring down at my lap unseeingly, “it was special. Believe it or not, he’s a good guy. He does what I ask him to do and he’s up for anything. And I feel safe with him,” I said, pouting my lips.
“Okay. You guys have known each other for a while, so I’ll buy it, but you’re not sleeping with just him,” Kira said intuitively.
“True. But you know about Owen,” I remind her.
“Oh, the senior, randomly taking a freshman class? I bet he wasn’t even in that class.”
“He was taking it as an elective.” I smile, innocently. I glance across the room, thoughtfully. “Didn’t you date one of his friends?”
Kira scoffed. “No I didn’t. I was going to, but it seemed pointless. Even when we talked on the phone he didn’t seem interested, so I just blew him off. Doesn’t matter—it’s not like he or Owen go here anymore.”
“What was his name? Collin? Cole?”
“Who cares?” She frowned. “We’re seniors now. I’ll be finishing out my college career not worried about having a steady boyfriend. I’ve already started looking for telecommunications positions. I want to have a job as soon as I can.”
I should probably start looking for something too. I wonder what Carson’s major is.
What about you?”
I heard her, but my mind was thinking back to the very first moment Carson locked eyes with me. Experiencing the feeling of your heart dropping into your stomach and slipping out onto the pavement was a memory I would always have. I don’t know if that is good or bad.
“Kin?”
“Oh. I’ll probably start looking for teaching positions. I’ve got some observations at some elementary schools coming up. Maybe I’ll choose one of them.”
“Sounds good.”
“Anyway. Back to you calling me a slut.”
“I didn’t call you a slut. You are one, but so what? Don’t take offense.”
“I’m not offended... I’m just saying. For the last few months I’ve just been hooking up with Sawyer and Owen. Carson is a different type of guy, or at least it feels like he is. Owen is quiet and manly. That’s it. Sawyer is way over the top and always up for anything.”
“So where does Carson fit into all this?”
“I don’t know. As soon as I laid eyes on Carson, I wanted him. I thought maybe I’d rock his world, but he’s got layers.” I smiled to myself as I let my dirty thoughts travel to what he might be hiding in those nice jeans.
“What do you mean ‘he’s got layers’?” She turned up her lip.
“I mean—it was really what he said and how he said it—and I know a guy like him would never actually be with me, be with me—but he said he might be the one corrupting me, it’ll be fun to find out what he meant by that. I took it as a challenge.” I giggled devilishly as my eyebrows wiggled.
“So, he’s your new boy-toy?”
“For lack of a better term.”
“You okay with that?” She smirked.
“I’m fine with it. It’s easier this way.”
“Is that what you think?”
“Yeah, that’s why Carson is a good thing. I’d never get to experience being with a guy as kind and genuine as he is. I know I just met him, but I can see it in his eyes. And even just how he treats me. I feel different around him. I definitely don’t deser
ve to have someone as amazing as he is, but at least I’ll be able to play with him for a while... until someone tells him how much of a slut I am, then... you know, he’ll just gracefully disappear.” I smirked, sadly.
An affectionate smile swept across Kira’s face. “I told you when I met you back in freshman year, I like who you are. You’re so free and completely own up to all the dirty things you like. Maybe even a little too much.” She frowned. “Which is why I guess I was so irritated when I saw a random guy here. You never brought any of the other guys here. I just don’t want you to get lost.”
“I won’t. Well, I think you should have been worried about that a few years ago. Now I’m way more tamed. You don’t have to worry; I’m not just bringing random guys home. I promise. Carson was a special case.”
“I know. Sorry I gave him the cold shoulder.”
“Doesn’t matter. We’re just friends. That’s all we’ll ever be. “
“So quick to put yourself in a box. That’s not like you. The McKinzi I know is free spirited.”
“Uh, thanks, I think.” I hesitated. “What do you mean, exactly?”
“You know. You do whatever the fuck you want to.”
“Excuse me?”
Kira rolled her eyes. “Oh, relax, I meant it as a compliment. Sure, every now and then you think you’re not good enough for something, but it doesn’t stop you from going after it no matter what the outcome.”
“That doesn’t sound like a compliment. So what are you trying to say?” I glared with narrowed eyes.
Kira flinched. “Exactly what I said. I want you to have everything you want, even if you think you don’t deserve it. Now when you figure out what you want, things’ll be easier.”
“I know what I want.”
“Do you?”
“Whatever,” I said, lowering my eyes to the floor. I didn’t have a follow up for that statement.
“So. You like this guy?”
“He’s ... okay. Super adorable, you know?” I sighed anxiously, “It doesn’t matter, though, because you know I’m not looking for any type of exclusive relationship. I’m happy the way things are. Adding Carson to my daily dick, until he finds whatever he’s looking for, is just fine with me.” I stared at her, shifting uncomfortably.
“Is that what you guys talked about?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did he say he was looking for something?”
“N—No.”
“Then how do you know he’s not looking for you?”
Her sincere stare, with a conviction I couldn’t handle, was heavy on me. It forced me to look away.
“That’s stupid.”
“It might sound stupid to you, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible.” She smiled in a motherly way.
I could do nothing but blink hard and stare down into the sofa cushions. My eyes hurt from the pressure of not entertaining that thought at all. “If you say so.”
Chapter 4: The Act
After the initial meeting, Carson and I texted a lot, mostly because I didn’t want to be rude and not reply. I wasn’t a daydreaming type of girl, but for some reason I had found myself replaying our meeting over in my head. That’s exactly what I was doing when the professor dismissed us from my last hour class. Despite my normal routine of going home and stripping down to my undies, I wanted to linger around campus. Carson hadn’t texted me, and though I was trying to ignore it, I wanted to “casually” bump into him. The campus was fairly empty, so I decided to grab a late lunch from the cafeteria. Generally. I made it a point not to walk around campus after my classes. I had quite a reputation and I didn’t want to deal with people looking down on me.
But it was a nice day, and after I bought lunch, the stone tables and benches underneath the trees behind the recreation building were a nice place to stay hidden from anyone who might be still on campus after three p.m. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I gave the surrounding area a once over and called Kira.
“Hey,” she answered after a few rings.
“Hey, are you home?”
“Nope. I had some errands to run. But I’ll be home in about an hour.”
“Cool.” I nodded, holding the phone with my shoulder as I took my chicken tenders out of the bag. I glanced up to see two girls from one of my classes. I didn’t mean to—I actively tried to avoid girls on campus more than guys—but I locked eyes with one of them. As I expected, she scoffed at me and rolled her eyes.
I sighed.
“Kin?” Kira called.
“Sorry,” I said, packing up my things. I can’t do it. This was a bad idea. I’ve done really well without running into anyone who has something to say to me. I’d like to finish the semester the same way. “I’m actually heading home now.”
“Okay, see you when I get there.”
“Yeah. See ya.”
Before I could end the call, my phone slipped out from between my ear and shoulder and onto the pavement as I was trying to put my tenders in my bag. Without thinking I let go of the tenders to try and save my phone, in the process, my phone had already fallen and so did all my tenders and the BBQ sauce fell on the bench, on me and in the grass.
“Dammit!” I said, opening the bag to look for a napkin, but I hadn’t grabbed any. I sighed in frustration, bending down to pick up my fallen tenders. My sauced jeans would just have to wait. I had completely forgotten about my phone being in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Hey.” I heard.
I glanced over and Carson was picking up my phone.
“You’re pretty clumsy, huh?” he rose to his feet as I put the tenders in the bag.
“No, I... I don’t know wha—”
“It’s fine,” he said, looking me over.
This is embarrassing. Some hot guy I just met gets to see me with sauce all over my jeans, like I’m some idiot or something.”
“I was doing too many things at once,” I said, rising to my feet, the bag of chicken crumpled in my hand.
Carson handed me my phone. My body was so tense. I wanted to run away. For some reason I thought he would think I was lame.
“I—uh... I need to get a napkin. I wasted the sauce.”
Our eyes met, and with a straight face, Carson said, “Want me to lick it off?”
My eyes widened and I lost all control of my hand muscles and the bag fell into the grass.
“Heh.” Carson’s boyish smile gleamed, not in a mocking way, but a playfully, cute way.
My cheeks burned and I could hear my heartbeat racing through my ears. I gulped, awkwardly picking up the bag. I darted my eyes to the left to see the trash can and hurriedly put the bag in there. Carson watched me with this weird smirk on his face.
“Okay, I have to go,” I said, trying not to make eye contact with him. I wanted to just swoosh by him and forget that any of that had even happened. But he grabbed my arm just as I was passing him. His warm palm and the slight coolness of his fingertips sent tingles down my spine. It demanded that I turn and look him right in those big brown eyes of his.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
All I could do was bat my lashes, hoping something, anything would come to my mind. It just didn’t make sense, I had a dirty comeback for everything. How could his words stump me into submission?
“No.” I said like a fool, I could feel my lips pouting, my stance all shy and vulnerable, not who I was at all.
He simply smiled and let my arm go.
“Okay. Want me to walk you home?”
I shook my head, “I’m good.” I paused, “But I mean, if you want to. That’s fine.”
“Well, do we have to go now?”
“I have sauce all over my pants.”
“You didn’t say yes.”
I sighed, my leg nervously shaking as I darted my eyes from side to side.
“I look like an idiot.”
“You’re making excuses, but still haven’t given me an answer. Can’t we just sit here and chat? I’ll get you somethi
ng else from the cafeteria.”
“W—Why?” I swallowed, casting my eyes to the pavement.
“Why? Well, because I want to hang out, but... I’m also a little scared of your roommate.”
All my jitters left, and I had to laugh wholeheartedly. “What?”
“Yeah, your roommate is intense.”
“She’s not. You’re just the first guy I’ve brought home.” I leaned back on my heels and looked away from him.
“That’s a good thing, right?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
“So? How about lunch?”
“I guess.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back,” he said and disappeared into the cafeteria.
I stood there in my barbque sauce covered pants. Well, it was just a few drops on one leg, but still, I had been very uncomfortable. Carson changed that.
Shit, I threw my apple away.
He returned with a blue tray with chicken tenders, French fries and two apple juices. He didn’t forget the napkins. He sat the tray on the table and wiped up the access sauce from the bench. I sat down closest to the bushes, hoping no one would see me, and he sat right next to me. This time there was no sauce. That was fine. I tore a piece of a tender and ate it as he casually ate some fries.
“So this is like a date, right?” Carson asked.
“No, it’s not.”
“Okay.”
“Why would you want to go on a date with me anyway?”
“I don’t know how to answer that question. Why do people go on dates? To get to know each other?”
“I guess.”
“I’m still waiting on you to corrupt me, you know.”
I giggled, snatching the fry he was about to put in his mouth, right out of his hand and ate it in a flirtatious way.
He gave me that endearing smile and out of nowhere he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. As he moved back slowly, never taking his eyes from mine my heart fluttered. I couldn’t show how good it felt, how much it made me want to take him back to my place and show him just how much I liked that little kiss. But I played it cool. I wasn’t sure why, but I wanted to stay there with him. That, sitting outside, getting to know someone, having someone pursue me in a genuine way was new. I had always been approached in a way where I knew the guy thought I was sexy and he wanted me. So I had the upper hand. This time I didn’t. I didn’t know Caron’s next move or any of his moves. It was exhilarating to even be in his presence and be the person he ignored the world around us to look at.