CHAPTER 24
Kristy threw on an old pair of Levis and a Buford Pusser 5K T-shirt. She glanced in the full-length mirror. It wasn’t going to put her in the fashion hall of fame, but it would certainly be more comfortable than her date clothes. She slid on her tennis shoes without even untying them and grabbed a ponytail holder from the counter. “Bye, Sam. You’re in charge.” she patted his head and closed the door behind her.
“So you’re a quick-change artist, huh?” Ace asked as she climbed into the truck. “Less than two minutes. Impressive.”
She glanced over at him. “You can accuse me of being many things, but high maintenance isn’t one of them.” she pulled her hair back and quickly wound it into a bun, securing it with the ponytail holder that was around her wrist.
“Yeah, I’m not high maintenance either.”
She laughed. “Good to know.”
As they backed out, the headlights shone across her yard.
“Wait. Can you stop for a second?” she asked.
He mashed on the brakes. “Did you forget something?”
“No. Look over there.” she pointed at the side of her house. “Did you just see someone standing there?”
Ace maneuvered the truck around so the side of her yard was lit up. No sign of anything strange. “I didn’t. Do you think you saw a person?”
She peered out the window, scanning the side yard. “I guess not. It was just for a second, I thought I saw something running. Could’ve been an animal.”
“Doesn’t Chief Strong have a cat?” he asked.
“Yes. General Grant.” she laughed. “And he does like to explore, so it very well could’ve been him.”
“General Grant the cat? Wow.”
She grinned. That cat had been the bane of Sam’s existence ever since they’d moved in. It wasn’t unusual for her to come home and find General Grant on her porch, locked in a staring contest with Sam through the window. And people say animals don’t have personalities.
Ace turned the truck onto the tour route. “So tonight we’re supposed to be stationed at Albert Sidney Johnston’s death site?”
“Right. And here’s a bit of Shiloh trivia for you. A few years ago, the park service had to remove the tree that General Johnston was supposedly propped up against when he died. You’d have thought we’d changed the name of the park. People were outraged.” “It was that big of a deal?” Ace slowed down as they passed the Bloody Pond.
“Seriously. After many, many complaints, we put a little marker up where the tree used to be. But in our defense, the tree was completely rotten and there was nothing else that could be done. It had to be removed.”
“Plus, anyone who knows their history knows General Johnston was actually taken down into the nearby ravine by his comrades.” Ace pulled the truck as far off the beaten path as possible and cut the engine. They had a clear view of the Johnston Mortuary Monument.
“Well, well. Someone’s been studying his history. And what’s the lesson we can all learn from the death of the highest-ranked American general in history ever to be killed in battle?”
“Well, first of all, if you have your own personal physician, keep him with you at all times rather than sending him to other areas of the battlefield. And second, if you have a lifesaving tourniquet in your pocket ... remember to use it!”
“Poor Albert Sidney.” Kristy shook her head and unbuckled her seat belt. “But in his defense, he didn’t know he’d been hit until it was too late.”
“Indeed.” Ace turned toward her in the seat. “So, not to be nosy or anything, but how was your date?”
Kristy tensed. “Fine.” she shrugged. “We had Chinese food. It was nice.” nice enough anyway. At least Robert would never break her heart. That was one thing she knew for certain.
“Good. Glad you’re moving on.”
“It was time.”
Whip-poor-wills sounded in the distance. Kristy cracked the window, and the truck filled with the faintest scent of honeysuckle. She took a deep breath and leaned her head against the seat. This would’ve been a perfect evening to sit out on her back porch swing with a glass of tea. Stupid vandals.
“You ready for round two of our game?” Ace finally asked.
She sat upright and looked over at him. In the darkness, she could barely make out the shape of his face. “Round two. Sure thing.”
He nodded in her direction. “Your turn to ask this time. But remember the rule.”
“Okay.” she bit her lip. What did she want to know about him? That she didn’t mind him also knowing about her? Tricky game. “I’ve got one. What’s your biggest regret?”
He regarded her seriously for a long moment.
“Too tough? I can think of another one if you’d like.” she paused, giving him another minute to think. “What’s wrong? is your life filled with so many regrets you can’t narrow it down?”
Ace raked his fingers through his thick brown hair. “Not too tough. And if you must know, I do have a lot of regrets. But I’m learning to get over them.”
“Fair enough.” she kept an eye on the mortuary monument for a second. Nothing. This stakeout stuff was such a waste of time.
“Remember when I told you I’d lost someone close to me in an accident?”
She nodded. “Yes. And I’m really sorry about driving crazy that night. I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t. How could you? it’s not something I talk about much.” He shifted in his seat. “Anyway, it was my best friend. Her name was Caroline. We met our freshman year of college and just clicked. You know?”
Kristy nodded that she did, in fact, know.
“Every time some guy would break her heart, she’d cry on my shoulder. She’d give me pointers on how to be a good boyfriend, and we’d even double-date sometimes just so we could check up on the other’s significant others.” He laughed. “My roommate thought I was crazy for not dating her myself, but I was always afraid of ruining the friendship. After college, we both lived in the same city. We had standing plans every Thursday where we’d talk about our week, celebrate the highs and lows. Looking back, I know now why I never had a successful relationship. How could anyone compete with how close Caroline and I were?”
“That makes sense,” Kristy said. “Sometimes there’s a fine line between friendship and more.”
He nodded. “Anyway, one night over dinner, Caroline was acting weird. She’d just broken up with her boyfriend, so I assumed that was what was bothering her. But I was wrong. At the end of the evening, she grabbed my hand and told me there was something she needed to tell me. She ended up saying that she was in love with me and had been for years, but she’d been waiting on me to make the first move. I was floored. I had no idea she felt that way. I mean, sure, we flirted and all, but I guess I never saw any of the signs. Looking back, they were definitely there. I felt like such an idiot. The problem was that I was afraid of losing my best friend. So I tried just brushing her off. I told her she was probably just feeling down because she was alone and it was nearly Christmas. I could see immediately that I wasn’t handling it right. She left, furious with me, and I was just such a stupid guy. The truth was, I didn’t know how to handle it. I knew that if she and I got together, it would be the real deal. And at that point in my life, I wasn’t ready for that.”
Ace shifted in his seat. “I just sat there at the restaurant, trying to figure out what to do. But before I could do anything, the waiter came rushing to my table. Caroline had left the restaurant, and I guess she was so upset, she didn’t see the car coming around the corner until it was too late. The guy was speeding, and even though he swerved, he still hit her.”
Kristy let out a gasp. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how horrible that must’ve been for you.”
Ace nodded. “I went with her to the hospital, but it was too late. At least I was able to talk to her in the ambulance. I told her I loved her, too, which was the absolute truth. I did love her.” He met Kristy’s gaze.
“I did. I just wasn’t ready for that kind of love right then. Long story short, she died a few hours later at the hospital. She was a registered organ donor, though, and because of it, she saved the lives of seven people.” He smiled. “That was the only bright spot. Caroline would’ve loved that.” He cleared his throat. “So there you have it. One of my many regrets, but definitely the biggest one. I wish I would’ve known what to say in that moment. That I’d have gone after her immediately. Or that I’d been able to say what she wanted to hear. Anything that would’ve prevented her from rushing out like that.”
“Wow.” Kristy fought the urge to reach out and grab his hand. “Ace, that’s awful. I don’t even know what to say.”
He shrugged. “Not a lot anyone can say. But that’s my answer. Now your turn.”
She could see he was ready to change the subject. Not that she blamed him. It must be tough to shoulder the blame for something like that. Even though she knew Caroline’s death wasn’t his fault, she could see that he hadn’t been able to forgive himself for it. Would he ever be able to let that guilt go? At least her regret didn’t involve a loss of life.
“I, too, have a lot of regrets. But I can easily narrow it down to one.” she took a deep breath. “I had just turned twenty-five,” she began.
CHAPTER 25
Ace hadn’t meant to tell her about Caroline. He was always afraid it made him sound like a real jerk. The guy who couldn’t say the words the girl needed to hear and ultimately caused her death by his stupidity. But the question had thrown him for a loop. Of course, his biggest regret was not knowing the right words to say on that fateful night. And he figured he might as well tell Kristy the truth. After all, Caroline’s death was part of who he was now. He glanced over at Kristy’s profile. She had paused her story, as if trying to figure out the right words.
“Having trouble forming sentences?” he asked.
She smiled. “Something like that. Actually, I’m trying to think of how to explain my biggest regret without boring you with too much information. No need to load you down with my life drama.”
He laughed. “As you’ve already heard, my life has some drama of its own. So load away. I can take it.” nothing she could say could be worse than what he’d just told her. She’d have to convince him she was a terrorist or a mobster to put her on the same level as him. And he knew enough about her to know that neither of those things was the case.
“Right. Well, you’ve probably already guessed that my biggest regret has to do with Mark. But I’ll bet it’s not in the way you think.”
“I thought he probably played into it somehow.” He shot an encouraging grin at her. He had figured Mark would be her regret. Probably regret that she’d ever met him or something along those lines.
“Yes. But it actually isn’t that I wish I hadn’t dated him. I refuse to let myself regret three whole years of my life. That would just be too sad.” she sighed. “So all I can do is look at those years as time that was preparing me to be a better, stronger person. I did learn a lot about myself, especially in the aftermath of our relationship.”
He nodded. “I’m sure. I think we all find out what we’re made of when we face a deep personal crisis. Some of us crash and burn, and some rise from the ashes.” He patted the seat between them. “You were definitely in the latter group.”
“I don’t know about that. I crashed for a while. In fact, I’m still not quite whole. But the regret I feel actually has nothing to do with Mark and everything to do with me. See, the whole time we were together, I took my focus off of everything but him. I let him be first. Over my friends, my family, even my relationship with the Lord.” she shook her head. “That’s just not the way it’s supposed to be.”
“True. But sometimes when you’re actually in something, you can’t see the bad parts of it. A little time and distance provide all kinds of insights that maybe you couldn’t see because you were too close to the situation. Kind of a forest-and-trees thing, you know?”
She smiled at him. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
“Well, like I said before, I have lots of regrets. I’ve learned that I can either let them eat me up, or I can move forward and try not to make the same mistakes.” And it was true. If he’d learned anything from Caroline, it was that he was going to let people know how he felt. Even if they didn’t want to know. Because you never knew when your window of opportunity would be closed forever.
“So that’s my main regret. That I let Mark become the focus of my life. And that I allowed him to use me as his own personal doormat.”
He saw her tiny smile in the darkness and was struck by how vulnerable she looked. Normally she exuded a toughness, but tonight he glimpsed the tenderness beneath her surface. What kind of man in his right mind would’ve treated a girl like her with such disrespect?
CHAPTER 26
“A truce? Call it that if it makes you feel better, but I’d call it something else.” Ainsley laughed.
“Stop it. I get what you’re implying. And you are way off base. It’s that dumb game. Or the darkness. Or the fact that otherwise I have to sit in uncomfortable silence with a man I barely know.” Kristy leaned her head back on the porch swing cushion and felt the sun warm her face. “And don’t really want to know, for that matter.”
“Well, regardless, it certainly sounds like you’re getting to know him pretty fast.”
“It isn’t like that. We’re just talking as a way to pass the time. I’m still not a fan of him. You won’t believe what Owen told me yesterday.” The disgust crept into her voice.
“Enlighten me,” Ainsley said.
“Ace is totally screwing up the Junior Ranger Program. He’s not following the guidelines and is just giving out badges without even checking up on their paperwork. There are rules to the program for a reason.”
“The horror.” Ainsley laughed. “Sorry. I can’t help it. I know you are a stickler for rules and all, but there are worse things the guy could be doing.”
“You don’t understand. The program worked perfectly. And I designed it that way. Now he’s totally lax about the guidelines. And I can’t do anything about it.”
“It seems to me that maybe you could just talk to him. Explain your concerns and see what he says. He sounds like a reasonable guy.”
And that is just how Ainsley would’ve handled it. Matter-of-factly. No nonsense. But not Kristy. She’d always admired her friend for being able to face things head-on.
“Right. I’m sure you’re right. But the thing is, it isn’t my program anymore. I have a little pride, you know.”
A loud chuckle came from the other end of the phone. “You do have a little pride. Some might say a little too much.”
Kristy rolled her eyes. Even miles away, her friend knew her all too well. “But if I say anything to him about it, he’ll just think I’m bitter about everything.”
“And?”
“And I’m trying hard not to be. Or at least not to let it show. So I think I’ll just try not to think about it.”
“Sure. Because that always works so well for you.”
Ouch. Kristy still clutched the phone to her ear, but she couldn’t speak.
As if she realized she’d gone one step too far, Ainsley gave a sweet self-deprecating chuckle. “Oh, Kristy. You know I’m kidding. If it makes you feel better to try not to think about it, then do that. But you know as well as I do that it’s going to bother you until you confront him about it. And you deserve to tell him what you think. You built that program. Before you came along, it didn’t exist. And you never know—he might be happy for the input.”
Kristy was pretty sure that was doubtful but hated to keep on. She knew Ainsley was only trying to help. “Thanks for the advice. So, moving along, anything new with you?”
“Nothing much.” Ainsley laughed. “I don’t have near the escapades you do. I’m just a boring old married lady.”
“And you love it.”
They said their good
-byes, and Kristy busied herself around the house. It was one of those perfect days off. In fact, she was still in the shorts and T-shirt she’d slept in. No makeup on her face and hair in a bun. Once the house was clean, she returned to the deck, this time sitting on the lowest step, watching as Sam happily ran the perimeter of the yard.
If Mark could see her now, she knew what he would say. Number thirty-two on the list: He hated it when I had lazy days off. In fact, he accused her of being an unproductive member of society if she hadn’t showered and put on makeup by 10:00 a.m. If he could only see her now. She leaned back against the steps, propping herself up on her elbows, and stretched her legs out in front of her. The sun lulled her into a drowsy state, and she began to think back on the past weeks.
Images of her recent life flashed in front of her. Mark down on one knee at his apartment. The sea of guests staring back at her in horror as she announced there wouldn’t be a wedding. The honeymoon cruise she’d forced herself to go on, even though it sent the knife deeper into her heart. She’d been sure at that point that she’d never recover from the blow.
She sat up. She was recovering. Maybe not recovered. Yet. But at least she was no longer weepy. And she’d caught herself laughing a few days ago. Really laughing. Not just going through the motions. Owen and Ace had been quite the comedy team as they told her about the night Ace had convinced Owen and several of the maintenance guys to go with him for sushi. “Bait,” Ace had laughed. “Henry took one bite, spit it out, and told the waiter in no uncertain terms that he just couldn’t eat bait and could he please have a hamburger instead. And to make it well done.” Kristy smiled at the memory. Ace had certainly shaken up the park with that little outing.
Several memories of the last few weeks flitted through her mind. She was afraid to admit it, but deep down she knew the handsome ranger had shaken her up a bit, too.
CHAPTER 27
Ace knew he must be out of his mind. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Kristy was still reeling from her broken engagement. Plus, it looked like she was seeing that Robert guy on a regular basis now. He’d overhead her telling Owen about a movie they’d gone to see. At least he’d stopped himself from making a wisecrack about Robert. That certainly wouldn’t have won him any points with her.
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