by Vikki Vaught
Now, time to find Henry.
She made her way to the study. Knocking, she heard, “Enter,” and opened the door. When he looked at her, his eyes glowed with warmth, then cooled. “You look refreshed. Did you sleep well?”
She tried to hide her disappointment as her heart clenched. Would he ever look at her with love again? “I feel much better after a good night’s sleep. Did you get some rest?”
Henry came around to the front of his desk and leaned against it. “It felt strange to be in my father’s room, but I did and feel refreshed. Were your rooms acceptable? Please feel free to redecorate if you want.”
“They’re fine. I may want to change them later, for now they will do. I’m sure your mother wasn’t happy about moving out of them.” She looked around the study, remembering the last time she had been in it, and sadness rolled over her. This was where Nelson had told her of Henry’s death, and one of the last times she had seen him alive.
“I had Mother move before I left to bring you home, and while she isn’t happy, she will adjust.” His eyes searched hers. “Are you all right? You look troubled.”
She sighed. “I’m fine. I was remembering the last time I was in this room. It made me think of Nelson.”
He took her hand in his. “I miss him, too. I miss my father as well. I’m going through some of his papers. There is so much to learn, and I barely know where to start. I never expected to be responsible for the dukedom. I pray I’m up to the challenge.”
Shaking off her melancholia, she assured him, “You will have it all well in hand in no time. You always adapt quickly. Once you get everything under control, you’ll do splendidly.”
“How are the children this morning?” he inquired. “Are they settled in the nursery? I’m sure all of this must be overwhelming for them.”
“Children are quite resilient and adjust quickly to a new environment. As long as they have fascinating toys to entertain them, they’re fine.” Then wondering how the duchess received the news, she asked, “What did your mother say when you told her about Brandon?”
Henry sighed as he fisted his hands. Obviously, she had not taken it well. “Much as you would expect. She’s back to her old vindictive self. Have you seen my sisters yet?”
As she watched Henry walk back around his desk, a thrill rushed through her. He was still such a gorgeous man. She hoped he would realize she had done no wrong by marrying when she thought he had died. “No, I came to see you first. I haven’t had breakfast yet. Have you eaten?”
While he shifted papers around, he answered, “An hour ago. I’ve been going over some reports Stallings left for me. I expect he will be here soon, so we can go over them together. Why don’t you go into the breakfast room? I’m sure you will find my sisters there.”
“I think I shall,” she replied. “I’m ravenous, so I seem to be getting my appetite back. Before you know it, I will be back to my plump little self again.”
He laughed. “Good, because I like you much better a bit plump. Would you like to go riding this afternoon? I can break away around two o’clock. Would that be convenient?”
“I would like that. You’ll need to be patient with me. I haven’t been on a horse in a long time. Well, I shall let you get back to your work. See you in a bit.” She turned and with a wave of her hand strolled from the study.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Melody made her way to the breakfast room, and both his sisters were there. When she walked into the room, Helen and Kathryn rushed over and gave her a hug. Remorse settled on her as she said, “It’s so good to see you. I have missed you terribly. I’m sorry I stopped writing. When I found out I was with child, I grew afraid your father would take her away from me. I hope you can forgive me?”
Helen reassured her, “Henry told us everything. Since I know how poorly my parents treated you, I can understand why you did it. But, surely you realized Nelson would have protected you. He would not have let them hurt you.”
“I know that now, but at the time I still grieved for Henry, and all I wanted was to feel safe. I wasn’t thinking rationally.” Relief swept through her at their willingness to forgive her, and it lifted a burden from her shoulders.
“I’m just glad you’re returned to us. I don’t want you to ever leave again,” Kathryn declared.
Melody smiled at Kathryn. “Just look at you. You’ve grown so pretty. Are you still painting?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “I am. My parents allowed me to continue with my art lessons. I’m much better than before. I can’t wait to paint your beautiful children. We peeked in on them this morning before we came down for breakfast, and they’re adorable.”
“I would love that. Just let me get settled in first.” Turning to Helen, she asked, “How is Mary taking Nelson’s death? I was so pleased to hear they had married. I met her children this morning, and they both seem to be well-behaved. Angela looks so much like Mary. Where is she this morning?”
Helen’s expression turned somber. “Mary hasn’t taken my brother’s passing well at all. She rarely comes down for meals, and she doesn’t even spend much time with the children. Hopefully, you can help her learn how to cope with her loss.”
The girls returned to their seats, while she went to the sideboard and filled a plate. After they finished their meal, her sisters-in-law decided to take a walk in the gardens, and Melody returned to her children.
She met Henry at the stables at two so they could go riding. Her old habit hung on her. Her maid took in the bodice quickly, so she could wear it. After she returned from her ride, Millie could alter it properly so it would fit better in the future.
They decided to ride to the lake. When they arrived, a jolt of electricity shot through her veins as Henry placed his hands around her waist to lift her down. He offered his arm, and they strolled around the lake. Soon, they came to the spot where they had spent many happy moments together laughing and making love. It brought back so many wonderful memories.
He stopped and turned toward her. “I remember this spot well. In fact, when my memory began to return, I dreamed of this. We had several wonderful afternoons here, did we not?”
She gazed up at him and smiled. “We did. I feel strange being here. I never thought I would see this place again, much less be here with you. I never stopped loving you, Henry. Brandon understood you would always have my heart.”
They stood looking at the lake, with her hand threaded through the bend in his arm. “I’m beginning to understand that, but it will take time for me to accept you were with another man. I find it hard to believe there was no love between you. I doubt you could have been with him if no feelings were involved.”
Should she tell him Brandon only took her a few times, or leave it alone? It would be awkward trying to explain that their marriage was much more of a platonic arrangement. They had both realized after a few times, they could never be lovers. Perhaps it would be better to be vague, though.
“It was different,” she attempted to explain. “Brandon was my best friend, and I had known him all my life. When I first returned to my parents, we consoled each other. Of course, I loved him, just not in the same way I love you. I wish you’d had a chance to know him better.”
He patted her hand. “I’m relieved you had someone there for you. I do wish you hadn’t married him, though. I’m trying to accept it, although it’s going to take time. Well, enough about that. Did you find my sisters this morning?”
“I did, and they’re so beautiful. I always thought Helen was pretty, and Kathryn has blossomed into a lovely young lady. She still seems shy, not as much as she used to be, though.”
“I’m amazed at the change in Kathryn as well,” he replied.
Melody sighed. “I haven’t seen Mary yet. They told me she isn’t handling Nelson’s death well at all. I hope she can find it in herself to begin to overcome her grief. It takes a while, and it’s only been a little more than three months. I still grieved deeply, a year after I thought I had
lost you. The only thing that helped was our daughter.”
“I’m sure she’ll adjust after more time passes. Shall we return to the stables? The duchess will be serving tea soon.”
They returned to the horses, and he helped her mount. Even though she had seen pain in Henry’s eyes when she had explained her choices, he had controlled his emotions. She needed to give him more time to adjust. She glanced at her husband, and hope stirred in her heart. She loved him, and she would not let the circumstances that tore them apart ruin their future.
* * * *
When they arrived at the stables, Henry noticed it was empty. He could not resist the temptation. Pulling her into an empty stall, he gently kissed her. It felt so good to have her in his arms again. While he might not have forgiven her, he definitely still wanted her badly. When Melody melted in his arms, he deepened their kiss, and she responded passionately as he pulled her closer. Soon their tongues were dueling as he moved his hand lower and kneaded her breast. All he wanted to do was touch her, hold her close, feel her heat.
Her knees gave out, and he pulled her onto the soft hay covering the floor. Tugging her habit up to her waist, he found her sweet spot. She was dripping wet and ready. Unable to take it slow, he ripped opened his breeches and surged home. He was in heaven. Being inside of her at last had him shaking all over. He pumped into her with quick, vigorous strokes, and she went wild, wrapping her legs around his hips. Her nails raked at his back, sending shock waves of sensations as strong as a tidal wave through him. She grabbed his buttocks, pulling him tightly against her, and met him stroke for stroke.
Writhing in his arms, her entire body trembled. Her passage wrapped around him, pulling him deeper. Her muscles tightened, and she went soaring. Making a final thrust, his seed spilled into her, and she went limp. He pulled in several gulps of air, then buried his face in her sweet smelling hair. He hugged her close, never wanting to let her go.
God, what did I do?
He had lost control in a way he had never done before. Gently, he pulled out of her and sat up. Glancing at Melody, he asked, “I didn’t hurt you, did I? I didn’t mean for that to happen, and certainly never so roughly.”
She blushed and refused to look at him. “You d-didn’t, far from it. I…wanted you as much as you wanted me.”
Melody looked so beautiful with her cheeks flushed from the passion that had taken them away from their problems. As he tenderly stroked her cheek with his hand, he murmured, “I did want you desperately, but I promised to give you time, and what do I do? Ravish you the first time we’re completely alone. Can you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive. I’m your wife, and as I told you earlier, I never stopped loving you. You’re the one who cannot forgive me.”
Anguish pierced his soul.
God, why did this have to happen to us?
Looking at his wife’s beloved face, he sighed. “I know, but I can’t get the picture out of my head. I keep seeing you in Brandon’s arms, and my blood boils. I never thought of myself as a jealous man. When it comes to you, I don’t like sharing.”
Melody looked at him with sadness in her beautiful eyes, and it tore him apart. He had to find a way to move beyond this, if they were going to get back to the way they were before this happened. He stood, offered her his hand and pulled her up. She straightened her clothes, and he did up his breeches. He peered out of the stall and found the stable still empty.
Placing his hand against her slender back, he looked down at his wife. “Let me escort you to the house so you can go freshen up and change your clothes. I need to return to my study. I told Stallings I would be back by three o’clock, and it’s well after that now.”
They walked back to the house. He wanted to tell her he understood why she had married Brandon, but it would have been a lie, so he remained silent. When they arrived back at the great hall, he informed her, “I will see you this evening at dinner.”
As he returned to his study, he was relieved to find it empty. He threw himself into his chair and slammed his fist down on his desk. He castigated himself for using her as he had, especially since he could not accept the fact Melody had let another man touch her, to stroke her soft skin, to see her naked. He should have been the only man to ever see her in the throes of passion.
Devil take it!
Why can’t I let this go?
* * * *
After they returned to the house, Melody went to her room and had her maid draw her a bath. After helping her undress, Millie left her soaking in the tub and took the riding habit with her so she could finish altering it for her. What an exhilarating experience. She had not felt that much passion in years. She had forgotten how intense lovemaking could be when one was truly in love.
She thought of the afternoon with her husband and wished he would forgive her. She guessed he was right. She needed to give him time. Although, that did not lessen the deep pain of knowing he thought she had betrayed his memory.
There was also the other piece of the puzzle. Why had she not realized she would have inherited everything Henry had? She was amazed she had not thought of it at the time, but she realized she still did not regret marrying Brandon. It had been the right thing to do for their daughter. She only hoped that eventually he would understand. Sighing, she finished her bath, then dressed and went to visit her children.
Mary Elizabeth came running over to her and jumped up and down. “Mama, I have fun. I have new fwiend and hew name is…is An…ge…wa. Can I wealy pway wif hew evee day? She live heyo too?”
“Yes, darling, she’s your cousin. I’m glad you like each other. Have you been playing with Brandon?” she asked.
Mary Elizabeth looked up at her and shook her head. “Mama, he wittle. He don’t know how to pway. All he do is cwawl. He puwed my dollhouse down.”
“I know he’s little, but he’s your brother, and you need to help Mama.” Mary Elizabeth nodded, and the girls returned to their play. She picked Brandon up and turned to Mrs. Worth. “Have they been behaving?”
Mrs. Worth curtsied. “They’re little angels, Your Grace. The girls have been playing together all day, and they’re getting along well. Roderick felt a bit left out, then his mother came and took him with her.”
Melody hastened to where the girls were playing and knelt upon the carpet. They showed her the dollhouse and all their beautiful dolls. They invited her to join them at their tea party laid out on the miniature table, and she perched herself on one of the tiny chairs and pretended to sip from the child-sized cup. After a pleasant hour with her children, she returned to her rooms.
That evening, Mary was in the drawing room, along with the others. Melody joined her while they waited for the dinner announcement. Her sister-in-law’s eyes held so much sadness, it pulled at her heartstrings.
The duchess sat in her usual seat on the settee and wore a condescending expression on her face. Clearly, she did not think much of either of her daughters-in-law. Some things never changed. Henry entered, and Simpson announced dinner. In deference of his mother’s age, he escorted her to the dining room, and the other ladies followed.
The cook had prepared many of Henry’s favorite foods, roast beef, so tender it practically melted in one’s mouth. She even made cherry compote for dessert, one of Melody’s favorites. When the meal ended, the duchess stood and indicated it was time to leave Henry to his port, so the ladies went to the drawing room.
Mary sat alone, so Melody took a seat beside her. “It’s a pleasure to see you again. I’m sorry for your loss. I thought the world of Nelson and was greatly saddened when I heard of his passing.”
Tearing up, Mary said, “T-Thank you, I—”
Then her voice broke completely and Melody touched her shoulder. “I understand what you’re going through, and if I can do anything to help, please let me know. When I thought Henry had died, I felt such immense pain I wasn’t sure I could bear it. The only thing that held me together was knowing I carried his child.”
“Y-You’re right, my c-children are a comfort to m-me,” she replied, her voice trembling.
Melody squeezed her hand and changed the subject. “When you came to Canterbury, you visited your brother, Lieutenant Bronson. How is he?”
Her sister-in-law seemed to find her composure. “My brother’s doing as well as one can do without a limb. He lost an arm at Quatre Bras. He is the Marquess of Overton’s secretary. I appreciated you introducing me to Susan. We continued to work together at the orphanage. I thought you were so kind to me, and now we’re sisters-in-law.”
Helen came over. “Mary, would you please play for us tonight? I’m sure Melody would enjoy hearing you.”
She nodded and went over to play. Henry joined her on the settee, and they sat and listened. He reached over and clasped her hand and smiled. Her heart did a small flip. While they still had a long way to go, it was a start. She relaxed and listened. The music coming from the pianoforte sent gooseflesh skidding along her arms. Her sister-in-law’s talent rivaled that of a concert pianist. Even the duchess seemed to enjoy the music. After she finished playing, everyone decided to retire for the night.
Henry escorted her to her bedchamber door, kissed her cheek, and wished her a good night. After she watched him enter his room, she went inside to her lonely bed. Her heart ached to ask him to join her, but it was too soon. Until he could forgive her, it would be best to refrain from intimacy.
At least she had some hope. The passion between them still burned hot. She needed to wait and be patient. In the meantime, she would remind him of why he fell in love with her in the first place. Feeling a bit more confident, she closed her eyes and dreamed of the time when he could put away his hurt and embrace their love.
* * * *
Each day, Henry spent the majority of the morning riding out to check on his tenants and getting to know them again. Many he remembered from when he was a lad, some were new to him. All of them needed something. After a wet spring, the summer was proving to be a hot, dry one. The tenants feared their crops would not be good this year. He assured them that if they were not what they expected, he would waive or reduce their rents for the year.