by Willow Rose
“Ma’am, you need to…”
“I have already had it.”
The officer paused. He glared at her sideways.
“Excuse me?”
“I…I’m coming directly from the hospital, sir, and they said I already had the virus and recovered. The past two tests came back negative. I’m healed.”
The officer stared at her. His hand on the weapon shook. “Ma’am, stay back, please. You could still be contagious. I haven’t heard of anyone recovering as of yet…”
“But I did. I beat this thing.”
She pulled out a letter that her doctor had given to her before she left. She hadn’t read it, but he told her it said she was cured. It verified her as “Certified Recovered.” The first one ever to be, he had proudly told her.
“I think it’s safe for me to go back to my apartment,” she said as she showed the document to the officer. He didn’t take it in his hand, but read it from a distance, looking at her like he was certain she could kill him if she got close enough.
He shrugged, then said before he took off, “All right, ma’am. I guess you’re safe here. Welcome home.”
Chapter 12
I rode like a madman through town on my Yamaha motorcycle, going way past the speed limit. It didn’t make a difference since there wasn’t a single car on the streets. Meanwhile, my heart hammered in my chest as I drove up in front of my townhouse. I killed the bike, then stormed inside and threw my helmet on the counter. I found my dad, lying on the couch in the darkness of the living room, then turned on the lights. My dad moaned, aggravated as the light hit his face. I could see the pearls of sweat on his forehead.
“Dad?”
I knelt next to him, still wearing my mask from work.
“Dad?”
Wearing gloves, I felt his wrist for a pulse. It was weak, and he didn’t seem very responsive. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t even open his eyes and look at me. He was moaning and tossing his head, and seemed to have chills all over his body. I found a blanket and covered him, then went to the kitchen and called our doctor.
“I fear my dad has gotten the virus,” I said when he picked up.
Doctor Bird was a close family friend and had been our doctor since I was a child. He was getting older, but I preferred him over a younger version any day. He had lots of experience, and he knew us all so well. You couldn’t put a price tag on that. Plus, I had his private number, and he’d always pick up when seeing it was me.
Doctor Bird paused on the other end. I could hear him breathing. He and my dad had been good friends and liked to go on fishing trips together.
“Oh, my word. Are you sure about this?” he asked. I could hear the distress in the tone of his voice. It sent a wave of fear through me.
“Tell me the symptoms,” he said. “What are Bernard’s symptoms?”
“He has a high fever.”
“How high?”
“I haven’t taken his temperature yet. But it’s high. He’s sweating and has chills. He’s barely responsive. He’s just lying on the couch, moaning. It scares me.”
“Take his temperature as soon as you can, and then do so every three hours to keep track of it.”
“Got it.”
“Is he coughing?”
“No. At least not that I have heard yet.”
“That’s good. That’s really good, Harry. It means it’s not in his lungs. But a high fever at Bernard’s age isn’t a good sign. Make sure he doesn’t lie on his back too much if he starts to cough. We don’t want it to go into his lungs. Give him a fever reducer, Tylenol or Advil, and put a mask on him, so he won’t spread the virus to the rest of you. Keep Josie away from him; do you hear me? This is important. You need to be careful around him, too, so you don’t spread it to her. She’s the vulnerable one here. No children have survived this so far. It can kill them within three days of showing the first symptoms. Is he in your home?”
“Yes. And he needs to stay here. He doesn’t have anyone to take care of him,” I said, fearing he’d tell me to take him back to his own house. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I couldn’t take care of my own dad. I couldn’t just leave him alone at his house, sick with a deadly virus. That wasn’t something I would ever agree to, and the doctor knew it.
“I understand. But keep him in a room alone and keep Josie from going in there. Disinfect everything, all door handles and surfaces, anything he could have touched today before he showed symptoms. And keep a close eye on both of them. If Josie starts to show symptoms, call me immediately. We’ll get her to the hospital right away. With her heart condition, she’s at high risk. Shoot, Hunter. I don’t like to hear this. It scares me. Please, be careful.”
“But…what about my dad? Isn’t there anything you can do for him?” I asked. I was struggling to keep calm now. I felt so helpless. “Shouldn’t he be getting to the hospital? Shouldn’t he be getting some sort of treatment? Or at least be tested, so we know if this is the virus?”
Doctor Bird sighed. It wasn’t a pleasant sound. It oozed deep frustration, and frankly, he wasn’t making matters any better. He wasn’t exactly calming me down this way.
“I’m sorry. This is the best we can do for now. If you’re older than twenty-five, they won’t take you in anymore. You can’t even be tested. There aren’t enough tests available. All the focus is on the young ones.”
“But older people die from this, too, right?” I said, my voice rising in alarm and desperation. My dad meant the world to me. Was I just supposed to watch him get sick and maybe even die? Was there no help at all for him? Just because of his age? I couldn’t believe this.
How did we get to this?
“I saw it on the news that a lot of older people are dying as well,” I added. “My dad could die from this, and there’s nothing we can do about it?”
“We need to think about our future,” Doctor Bird said, his voice heavy. “There isn’t enough room or ventilators at the hospitals. It’s ordered from the top. They’re our number one priority. The children are our future. We need to take care of them first. And right now, the hospitals are overwhelmed with patients fighting for their lives. That’s why they had to make this decision. The rest of us will have to ride it out at home if we can. I’m sorry. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, and you should be angry about it; I want you to be angry. But right now, there’s nothing I can do. All you can do now is pray.”
I hung up, annoyed at everything, including that saying. All you can do now is pray. Why did people always assume that was the last thing you should do? To me, it was my first response, and I had been praying all the way back here while driving on my bike. I prayed my dad would be okay, and I prayed that Josie would stay clear of this virus too. Now, I prayed that God would give me the strength to get through this and not let me succumb to fear. The temptation to let it overwhelm me was more than strong.
Chapter 13
I took my dad’s temperature, and that didn’t exactly help my concerns. He had a hundred and two. This wasn’t good for a man his age. I helped him drink water and got him to swallow a pill. While I did this, he opened his eyes and looked at me, but he didn’t seem to really be there. His eyes were glassy and wet. He didn’t seem to be looking directly at me, but at least I got to see him and was happy to see the pill slide down his throat. I covered him up and helped him get into the room in the back, where I knew he could stay away from Josie. I then washed down everything and disinfected all surfaces, then took a shower and washed myself thoroughly with soap and disinfected my hands again before I knocked on Josie’s door and peeked inside, once again wearing my mask.
A set of very worried eyes looked back at me from the bed. I wanted to hug her but refrained from doing so in case I risked infecting her. We’d have to be very careful now, even though the odds of her not being infected were very low. She had spent the entire morning with my dad before he showed symptoms. They had been together for days since my dad moved in with us. They said y
ou were contagious long before you showed symptoms, and my dad had been hanging out with us all weekend.
“How is he?” she asked, her voice sounding worried, even though she tried to hide it. “Will he be okay?”
I didn’t know exactly how aware she was of the situation outside the four walls of our house. I tried to keep her protected from the worst stories. I didn’t want her to be scared, but there was still the internet. It was very hard not to know what was going on, with all the stories on social media and in the news. I, for one, felt like I was constantly bombarded with information and horrifying stories from overwhelmed hospitals and doctors telling us how scared we should be, or press briefings with the president or our governor telling us all to please stay inside. It was hard not to know. Some people were watching the news non-stop, and it only filled them with fear and panic. For some, it was all they did all day since there really wasn’t much else to do when you were on lockdown. Most people had lost their jobs or were furloughed. What else was there to do? I tried hard not to fall into that trap. I had made it a mantra to check the news and not watch it.
“He’s sick, Josie,” I said. I couldn’t hide the truth from her. She deserved to know, but I was trying not to sound as alarmed as I felt.
“Is it the virus?” she asked, biting her nails.
“We don’t know. But he has a high fever, and that is one of the symptoms.”
“Will he need to go to the hospital?”
That was the hard one. I wasn’t sure she’d be able to understand. I wasn’t even sure I fully understood how you could refuse care for a man just because he was older.
“I spoke to Doctor Bird, and he told us to observe him, and then we’ll see,” I said. “But you need to stay in your room. I’ll bring your food up here, so you can remain isolated from him. I put him in the back room, and you need to stay away from it; can you do that? I’ll be the only one who goes in and out.”
“But, Dad…what about you? You will risk getting infected too?” she said, her voice rising. “You could get sick, Dad.”
“I know. That’s why we need to keep our distance. You and me. So I won’t infect you in case I do become contagious.”
Her eyes grew big, and my heart dropped.
“So…we can’t hug?”
I swallowed. This was as close to torture as I could get. There was nothing I loved more than holding my daughter in my arms. I couldn’t believe this was what it had come to. I couldn’t even kiss and hug my own child?
“I’m afraid not. At least not for now.”
“Oh.”
“I know,” I said on the verge of tears. “It’s terrible, but if it can save you from being infected, then it’s a mild price to pay. I think we can do this, even if it is hard. I’ll wear a mask even when walking around the house, and you should too. But try to stay in your room.”
“I can’t believe it,” she said. “First, I’m not allowed to leave the house and see my friends; now, I can’t go downstairs? I can’t even leave my room? Can’t we just clean everything?”
“I’ve disinfected as much as I could around the house, but I’m not sure it’s enough. I fear it’s not gonna be enough to protect you. Listen, it’s not gonna be forever, just for a few days until we find out what is going on with Grandpa or until the areas he might have touched are clean. The virus can live up to two days on smooth surfaces, they say. It might seem excessive to keep you locked up in your room, but I feel this is what we need to do now. I need to feel safe, to feel like you’re protected.”
“What about when I need to use the bathroom?”
“Of course, you can go to the bathroom. But at least stay up here on this floor where Grandpa never comes anyway. It should be clean. I’ll sleep in the living room to make sure I don’t bring the virus up here as well. If you want something from downstairs, maybe you can just call for me? Or text me?”
Josie nodded. She seemed to be pondering this for a little while before finally accepting it.
“Okay. And what if I need a snack?”
“I’ll bring it to you. I’ll see if I can work from home for a few days. I’m sure my new boss, Major Walker, wouldn’t want me to come in anyway and risk infecting everyone. I’ll be here if you need me, okay? We’ll get through this together with God’s help. He is with us. He’s helped us through tough times before, and He’ll do it again. He’ll never forsake us, remember?”
That seemed to make Josie calm down a little. She even got a little spark back in her eyes, and her lips curled into a smile.
“Okay, Dad. I think I’d like that snack now. Do we have any more of those Rice Krispy Treats?”
“I said you could get a snack, not poison yourself,” I answered with a lifted eyebrow. “I’ll bring you a banana.”
Chapter 14
It felt good to get home. At least for the first few minutes. Reese sat on her couch in her living room. It was old and worn out, and the leather was falling off in patches. On the table in front of her, she had placed the pills the doctors had sent home with her, telling her good luck. Now she sat there in complete silence and was suddenly overwhelmed with deep sadness, one she didn’t quite understand. It was like something was missing, yet she couldn’t understand what. The place seemed so empty, more than usual. A wave of deep melancholy rushed through her, and she curled up in a fetal position, staring blankly into the room. She remembered being sick; she remembered not feeling well, but it was still a haze. She remembered walking somewhere where there were a lot of people, and she remembered feeling dizzy and almost passing out. She remembered touching people’s arms and them pushing her away like she was a nuisance, a drunk making a fool of herself. It kind of felt like she had been drunk—like there were these blanks she couldn’t fill in. How had she gotten sick? The men at the hospital had wanted to know. But she didn’t know. How could she tell them if she didn’t remember? She had no idea who she had been in contact with or who could have infected her. But now, as she thought about it, she realized she could have caused all these people to get sick too. The crowd she had been in, the woman whose arm she had touched. Had she gotten sick too?
Reese shook her head and sat up straight. What was it about this place that made her so sad? She had lived alone for all her adult life, but suddenly, it felt like the condo was too empty, like it was impossible for her to be here alone.
Why? What had changed?
Reese got up and walked to the kitchen, then peeked inside the bedroom. The bed wasn’t made. Reese never made her bed, so there was nothing strange about that. But there was something else. It felt like something was missing from the bed.
Not something.
Someone.
Reese walked inside and sat on the edge of it. She was so tired. The walk to her place from the taxi had exhausted her greatly. She had lost a lot of her muscles being bedridden for so long. It would take time to get them back. Plus, her lungs were damaged from the virus. The doctor had told her she would most likely feel tired and out of breath for quite some time, given what she had been through, how her body had fought for its life while they had her placed in an induced coma.
Thinking a little nap would do her good and might help her think more clearly, Reese put her head on the pillow and closed her eyes for a few seconds when she was certain she heard a baby cry. Gasping loudly, she opened her eyes and looked around her in the bed, searching for the source of the sound. But the sound was gone. She felt the covers and lifted them while breaking into a sweat, searching frantically for the baby.
Nothing.
It was just a dream, Reese. Don’t let it get to you. You know it’s all in your head. Stay in reality. Focus on what is real.
She put her head back down and closed her eyes, but as soon as she was about to doze off, she was certain she heard it again. She shot open her eyes and sat up straight, and now she couldn’t escape the sound of the crying baby, even with her eyes open. It wasn’t coming from the bed, but from inside her head—this persistent s
ound of a screaming and crying baby.
It was maddening.
Stop, please, just stop!
Reese held her hands to the sides of her head and wanted to scream to make it stop. She got up and staggered to the living room, leaning on furniture and walls. She stopped in the opening and stared at the floor. In front of her, on the wood, lay something that made her heart pound. Panting and agitated, Reese bent over and picked up a pink pacifier. She stared at the small item in her hand, her heart galloping in her chest as memories suddenly rushed in over her, overwhelming her so forcefully she thought she was going to die.
The crying intensified, and she could now see the baby’s face in her mind as she closed her eyes and remembered the things she had forgotten, the things she didn’t want to remember. Right then, she heard a noise coming from the other side of her door. Her eyes shot open, and she took a step closer, then stared at the white door, hands shaking.
The scratching noise was repeated, and soon the handle turned.
Chapter 15
Right before midnight had become my favorite time of day. That was when I’d stand out on the porch and wait for Jean to come home from a long workday. It was a big advantage that we lived right next door to one another. Otherwise, I wouldn’t get to see her at all. She worked at the hospital, and the risk of her bringing the virus to my family and me was too great.
I sat on the patio swing, listening to the cicadas singing, waiting for her car to drive up the street. There was no other sound in the entire neighborhood, and I had to admit, I missed the noise. Usually—even at this hour—you could hear the highway or the train in the distance, or the endless sound of sirens blaring from downtown. But now there was suddenly nothing, and it filled me with deep sadness. I missed seeing life. I missed normalcy. Patrolling the streets during the day, seeing how empty our usually busy city was, made me sometimes feel a little panicky like the apocalypse had arrived. And every now and then, I wondered if it would ever go back to normal again. I know a lot of people felt the same way, and they missed the interaction with others. That’s why you’d see them on social media singing from their balconies all over the world.