by Souders, Tia
It had been so long since she’d kissed anyone. Craig had been the last, but even from the haziest of memories, it had been nothing like this soul-stealing, ache-inducing, mind-numbing call to her heart. This kiss was fire and ice and everything good in the world. Together, they could light the place on fire.
But as she brought her hand up over his cheek, feeling the grate of his stubble, it grounded her. Reality hit her like a bucket of ice.
He wasn’t hers to kiss.
She dropped her hands in between them, to his chest, and shoved him away, stumbling back.
Blake swallowed, catching his breath as he gazed at her through hooded eyes. “Mel . . .” He reached out.
“What are you doing? What are we—we can’t do this?” She covered her mouth with her hands and groaned. What had she done? “What about Jen and—”
“It’s over.” Blake stepped forward, hands out, pleading for her to listen.
Mel shook her head and backed away. She wouldn’t be that woman. But she allowed him closer anyway, and he gripped her arms as they locked eyes, his expression earnest. “No. You don’t understand. We really are over. We’re not together anymore. I ended it.”
“What?” Mel’s heart pounded through her ribs. “When?”
“Last weekend, after we went house hunting. I knew then that I couldn’t stay with her another minute.”
Mel’s chest grew tight, and her head spun. “Why?”
One corner of Blake’s mouth curled. “Because it’s kind of hard to be with someone when you’re falling for another woman.”
“Blake,” she breathed because it couldn’t be true, could it? In her wildest dreams, Mel might’ve hoped, but she’d never really thought . . .
“Everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I need is standing right in front of me.” He lowered his forehead to hers, and she grew dizzy on her feet. “I want you, Mel Clark, even with your kids and your tiny apartment and your awful dancing.”
Mel punched him, but there was no force behind it as she fought off the threat of tears. “My dancing is not awful.”
“I want all of it,” he said.
Mel’s throat tightened. “Are you sure you don’t just want me for my money?”
Blake laughed, and Mel launched herself at him, into his arms, her mouth crushing his because maybe happy endings did exist.
WHEN THEY PULLED UP outside Mel’s apartment complex at nearly midnight, for just one fleeting moment, she wished she didn’t have to go inside, that this night would never end. Then maybe the spell wouldn’t be broken. Reality wouldn’t sink in. A part of her worried the moment it did, she’d second guess everything that happened. But as she slid off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, she knew the promise of tomorrow would have to be enough.
Blake walked her into the building and up to her apartment on the second floor. When he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, Mel felt a smile tug at her lips.
“Thanks for tonight.” Blake leaned into her, pinning her against the wall, one arm braced over her head. “Did you have fun?” he asked, brushing her hair away from her face.
“More than I have in a long time.” She glanced down between them as all the implications of the evening hit her at once.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.
“The kids . . .” she bit her lip.
He tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Don’t worry. I understand that if I want to date a woman with children, I will be playing by other rules. We won’t let on a thing, and they’re young enough that they won’t catch on unless we tell them.”
“It’s not that I wouldn’t want them to know, eventually, but this is new, and they already love you so much. If something—”
“Shhh.” Blake placed a finger over her lips, silencing her.
“It’s okay. I understand. No worries, all right. Let’s just . . . see where this goes.”
Mel nodded. She liked the sound of that, seeing where this thing with her and Blake went, which reminded her . . . She groaned and let her head fall back to the wall behind her.
Blake laughed. “Now what?”
“I almost forgot. I have this work thing I have to go to Saturday. It’s a company party which are usually boring. Would you go with me?”
“Look at you, asking me on a date this time.”
Mel jabbed a finger in his ribs. “In all fairness, I didn’t realize tonight was a date. You could’ve told me about Jen before.”
Blake shrugged. “I guess I wanted to make sure I knew how you felt about me first. I thought maybe I’d imagined that something was there.”
“You didn’t imagine it,” she said, catching her breath.
“No?” He leaned in.
“No,” she whispered against his lips.
“Mel?” The deep voice echoed through the hall, jolting through her like an electric shock.
Mel blinked, breathing Blake in as she tried to wrap her head around that voice. Because it sounded like. . .
She turned toward the sound, her moment with Blake broken, and the air froze in her lungs. The blood drained from her face.
There, in the hallway, under the dim light, stood a ghost. “Craig,” she whispered.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
MEL
Mel had dreamed of this moment a million times, but in those dreams never had she imagined it might actually happen. Especially like this.
“Mel,” Craig said, his voice a sigh, like she had been lost at sea, and he had finally found her. But Mel hadn’t been lost. She’d been right there in the city, where he left her, all along.
She felt Blake stiffen beside her as her mind raced, trying to make sense of Craig there at her apartment. “What—what are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.” He stepped closer, giving her a clearer look at him.
He had the same blue eyes and wavy, honey-blonde hair as she remembered. His angled cheekbones seemed more prominent than before, as if the years apart had somehow made him less of a boy than a man. A chest and stomach that she knew were once taut lines and hard muscle appeared to have turned slightly soft in her absence, but he was still handsome. He still had that ability to draw her in with just one look, one glance.
“Um, Blake, can we have a moment?” she asked, angling her head toward him but unable to meet his gaze.
“Sure,” he said beside her.
She handed him her keys with shaking hands, and only once he let himself inside, did she turn back to Craig. “Why?” she asked, stepping closer. “Why now? Why are you back?”
“I’ve . . . gone through some things. I’ve changed, Mel. And I came to explain, to tell you everything. If you’ll only hear me out.”
Mel worried her lip with her teeth. Part of her wanted to say no, to refuse to speak with him. He didn’t deserve a listening ear. He didn’t deserve a second chance—if that was really even what he wanted. But then, hadn’t she secretly hoped for this? Wished for it? Maybe she’d moved on over the last four years, but she couldn’t deny that part of her that prayed for an explanation that cleared away the pain of the past, enabling a chance for a future. Because when it came to Craig, she had always been weak, and as she stared at him and found her resolve soften, she realized that even time and a broken heart hadn’t changed that.
She didn’t trust herself to speak. Thankfully, the lump in the back of her throat made it impossible.
He flashed her the crooked smile she knew so well, and it wrenched on her heart. “My little Mel Bell, you look just as beautiful as I remembered.”
Her hackles rose at the use of his old nickname for her. She raised a hand up as he inched even closer, looking as though he might embrace her when what she really needed was space. “Craig, why don’t you get to the point. Why are you really here? You waltz in here after four years, using my nickname, like nothing happened . . .” She pressed her fingers into her temples. “You didn’t just go on a road trip. The last time I saw you was the afternoon we brou
ght the kids home. That night as I fed them, you left, vanished into thin air. Or do you not remember that part?”
Craig’s smile faded. “I remember. I’ve thought about that night just about every day since. I was wrong, and it took almost dying for me to see just how much, to realize what I left, what I lost.”
“What are you talking about?” Mel scrunched up her face. Almost dying? It was like he reached into her innermost dreams and yanked them out.
“Mel . . .” He reached out and grabbed her hands, but this time she didn’t pull away, too shaken to move. His grip was firm, his skin still cool from the evening air outside as he said, “I’m here to win you back. To get my family back. And I’ll stop at nothing until I do.”
MEL CLOSED THE DOOR behind her and leaned against it, squeezing her eyes closed. Craig’s expression as she agreed to lunch tomorrow flashed in her head—the way his eyes shined with gratitude, the soft curve of his lips, and the dimple she could never resist. To say she was apprehensive about giving him a chance to explain everything was an understatement, especially when he still had the ability to make her heart pound, even while a part of her hated him. But what other choice did she have? To reject him meant denying her kids the opportunity to have their father in their lives. And even if that chance was slight, shouldn’t she take it?
The sound of someone clearing their throat made Mel jump.
She opened her eyes and pushed off the door, taking in Marti and Blake’s identical looks of concern.
Marti crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes glinting, while Blake shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor, his brow creasing with worry. “What did he want?” Marti asked.
Mel exhaled and ran her hands through her hair. “I don’t know. A chance to explain?” she said, but she did know. Craig told her he wanted a second chance, not just with the kids, but with her.
As if reading her thoughts, Blake lifted his gaze to hers.
Mel swallowed and averted her eyes, although she wasn’t entirely sure why. She did nothing worthy of feeling guilty, yet . . .
“I promised to hear him out tomorrow at lunch. He said something about being in the hospital?” Mel winced and shook her head. “I don’t know. I was so shocked at seeing him, his words barely sunk in.”
Marti went to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, meeting her eyes. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” said, hoping to convince herself, when really all she wanted to do was shut herself inside the bathroom and fall apart.
She scrubbed her hands over her eyes, then said, “Anyway, you should go. It’s late, and you have a flight to catch tomorrow.” She forced a smile, to which Marti frowned.
“I’m worried about you.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Marti hesitated, then nodded and headed for the door. “The kids were great, by the way. A little spirited”—she laughed—“but great.”
“Thanks again,” Mel said and waved goodbye as she shut the door behind her.
Inhaling, she spun around and braced herself to face Blake, who had closed the distance in two long strides.
Gripping the sides of her arms, he stared into her eyes as if checking to make sure Craig hadn’t physically hurt her. He found nothing, and why would he? Her wounds were all buried.
When he noticed nothing amiss, he loosened his grip, and his eyes softened. “How are you really?”
Mel exhaled and shuddered. “Stunned? Confused? Scared? Mad?” She brought a hand to her forehead, which started to pound. “I don’t know how to feel because I feel so many things at once.”
Blake’s Adams apple bobbed as he nodded his head like he understood. “So, lunch tomorrow. . .”
Mel nodded and bit her lip.
“Are you really doing this? Letting him back into your life?”
Mel shrugged. “I don’t know,” she hedged. “I have more to consider than just myself and how I feel about it. If it were just me, it’d be easy. He’d already be gone, but it’s not. If there’s even the slightest chance he’s genuine and wants a relationship with his children, how can I deny them that? It would be wrong. Every child deserves a father. Giving him a chance to explain and then slowly prove himself is the right thing, isn’t it?” she asked, almost hoping there was another way. One that didn’t involve putting hearts on the line.
Blake groaned and raked a hand through his hair. “Yeah,” he said after a minute. “It’s the right thing. If anyone knows what it’s like to grow up without your parents, it’s me.”
Before she knew it, he reached out and pulled her into his arms. She sunk into him, wishing the last fifteen minutes had never happened. All she wanted was to kiss him without Craig’s ghost pressing in on them.
“Can I ask you a question?” Blake murmured against her hair.
Mel pressed her face further into Blake’s shoulder, breathing in his comforting scent as she nodded her consent.
“Do you still love him?” he whispered.
The question stabbed something inside of her, something long since buried. But she couldn’t fully translate the feeling into words, so she answered as truthfully as she could because there was no point in a lie.
“I don’t know,” she whispered back and felt his muscles tense. “I don’t think so.”
“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” Blake said, his voice thick.
“Promise.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
BLAKE
Blake signaled the bartender for another drink, then waited, wishing he had someone to wallow with, but as it turned out, Grant was on a date, and he really didn’t feel like playing the drunk who spilled his guts to random strangers, so he was on his own.
He took a sip from his tumbler of whiskey and hissed at the burn.
The image of Craig, along with Mel’s shocked expression as she took in her ex, replayed in his head for the millionth time.
Blake couldn’t help but wonder if the kids weren’t all he was after. Not that it mattered what he thought. Mel was an adult, and she knew what she was doing. Blake was merely the manny. He and Mel had barely just begun a relationship, so while he had a stake in this, he had no pull.
Besides, as much as he wanted Craig gone, he knew firsthand how badly it sucked to grow up without your parents, and he would never begrudge them that. Mel was doing the right thing by weighing her ex out, then taking small steps toward a reunion if the situation warranted one. But Mel . . . she was a whole different story. Craig didn’t deserve her. Not after he left her like he did, empty-handed with nothing but debt and three babies to take care of on her own. Even if he had changed—which was yet to be seen—it was a scum move, and if Blake had anything to say about it, he wasn’t touching Mel again with a ten-foot pole.
Blake rattled the ice in his drink and stared at the amber liquid. It reminded him of Mel’s eyes, so he grumbled and drank more of it down, relishing the burn in his throat and the way it warmed his chest.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The timing of it all couldn’t have been worse. Blake needed more time. Days, weeks, months to solidify this thing between them. Before Craig showed up, Blake would’ve thought he had a pretty good shot at fully winning Mel’s heart. But now . . . He wasn’t so sure. His confidence was shot. He saw the way that she looked at him. It was different—full of history, pain, and the past—and it made Blake’s heart hurt.
When Blake asked Mel if she still loved him, she said she didn’t know. It was a blow to the ribs. Because the one thing he couldn’t compete with was the past when all he had was the future.
MEL
WHAT IF HER KIDS COULD have their father?
What if he was sincere?
What if he had changed?
What if he still loved her?
What if he could be there for her this time? Be her rock? The husband he should’ve been the first time around?
These were the things that kept Mel awake all night. They were the thoughts that had her stum
bling her way across the lawn on rubbery legs, feeling weak and exhausted.
Before Craig returned, she was finally content with her life. The new job, the house, and Blake had all happened at once. She was happy with the future laid out before her, thrilled and the possibilities. And then Craig came crashing in, and now everything shifted, throwing her life into upheaval, once again.
Mel squinted, one hand braced over her eyes to shield the sun, and saw Craig almost immediately. Even with the droves of people gathered on this unseasonably warm spring day, he stuck out to her. Like there was this invisible string tugging her toward him, and it disconcerted her that she still felt that old, familiar draw when she wanted to feel nothing at all.
She drew closer, close enough to watch him for a moment as she approached, but without being noticed as he scrolled through his phone. He wore a t-shirt and jeans. In front of him sat a bag with what she assumed was the contents of their lunch. Beneath him, he had spread out an old quilt. She wondered where he got it, unless he had a place there now—in New York City. Just the thought made her stomach squeeze uncomfortably.
She closed the gap between them, and as she neared the blanket, Craig glanced up and smiled, recognition brightening his eyes to a deep blue, the same color as the sky.
He stood, towering above her like he always did, and faster than she could blink, leaned in and brushed his lips over her cheek in greeting. “Thanks for meeting me.”
Mel nodded wordlessly. Mostly because the tightness in her throat made it impossible to speak. Instead, she took a seat across from him, and once they were both settled, he said, “I hope it wasn’t hard to get a sitter.”
“It was fine,” Mel said, mostly because it wasn’t easy. She didn’t exactly have a list of people to call. Her parents were in Florida, Marti left for her trip, and Caroline was likely getting ready for the PopNewz party. Her only choice had been Blake, which she felt awful about. There weren’t many situations more awkward than calling him up and asking him to watch the kids while she entertained her ex, prior to their date.