“Before you.”
Chapter 10
Rad and Lauren stood by the fire that was little more than a smoking pile of warm embers now. Nothing but inky blackness surrounded them, and nothing but the sound of waves reached their ears. It was as if they were in their own world of darkness and shadows.
Lauren gazed up at the sky, which was now completely devoid of starlight or moonshine. “Wow. It’s really dark.”
“It’s always darkest right before the dawn.”
“You had to say that, didn’t you?” Lauren hesitated a moment. “I’ve been afraid to check the time, but I know I need to get going.”
Rad glanced at his watch. “It’s 0530.”
Lauren inhaled a sharp breath of anguish, and without thinking, put her hands to her face in dismay and disbelief.
“Hey, there’ll be none of that.” Rad spoke with quiet authority as he moved toward her. “I want to see that smile.” He seemed big as a mountain and just as solid as he pulled her hands away and wrapped his arms around her.
Lauren laid her cheek against his heart and reveled in his comforting embrace. She forced a smile and tried to sound cheerful. “The last twenty-four hours reminds me of that song from the show Aida.”
“Something about being given paradise—but only for a day?”
Lauren looked up at him curiously “I didn’t really expect you to know it.”
He laughed. “Then why did you say it?”
“I don’t know.” Lauren continued to shake her head and stare at him. “But I definitely didn’t peg you as a fan of tragic love stories.”
“Not just tragic ones.” He tried to defend himself. “Anyway, we’re just saying goodbye—not being buried alive in a tomb like Aida.”
The comment made Lauren smile and laugh, and then almost cry because she was laughing again even though it felt like her insides were being ripped to shreds.
She bent down to pick up the container of water Wynn had left and dumped it on the remaining embers, watching the smoke rise in the air. Then she walked to the trash can to throw it away while Rad mounded sand up where the fire had been.
He motioned for her when he was done. “Guess we’d better head back toward your hotel.”
She nodded as she came up beside him. “Thanks for today, Rad. It was nice to forget the rest of the world for a little while.”
He threw his arm over her shoulder and squeezed her close to him. “I’d be glad to do it again sometime.”
Lauren just smiled and nodded as he slid his hand down and laced his fingers with hers. There was no talking now as each of them became lost in their own thoughts. At last Lauren looked up, and seeing where they were, turned toward the Boardwalk. She nodded toward the hotel. “That’s it.”
Rad stared grimly at the building, but made no comment other than to give her hand a reassuring squeeze.
When they stopped in front of the entrance, Lauren longed for a way to control her heart because it felt like it was going to pound itself right out of her chest. Not knowing what to say or do next, she stood there awkwardly until Rad pulled her gently toward him, his steady gaze searching hers in silent expectation.
“I’m an old-fashioned girl,” she said half-jokingly. “I don’t kiss on the first date.”
“I kind of figured that.” He did not release his hold, but the expression in his eyes was soothing in its assurance and power of restraint. “The average date is about two and a half or three hours tops.”
“Yeah?” She studied him questioningly and found his expression so intense and galvanizing, it sent a tremor through her.
“And we’ve spent twenty-some hours together.”
“So?” She still didn’t know where he was going with his reasoning.
“So the way I figure it, we’re well past our sixth or seventh date.”
Lauren smiled. “Oh, I see your point.” It took only another second for her to decide that this was one of those times when the present moment was worth anything that might catch up to her in the future. She had never intended to feel this attraction, but it was too late to stop it now. “In that case, I guess you have some making up to do.”
Without giving her a chance to change her mind, Rad put a strong arm around her waist and pulled her even tighter, enfolding her securely into the circle of his arms. She could feel the heat of his body course through the entire length of hers as he lowered his lips, first in a soft, searching, gentle kiss, and then with more passion and need.
Lauren was shocked by her own response to his embrace. She had planned to resist anything more than a goodnight kiss, but his masterful touch melted her resolve. She clung to him, feeling the tight cord of muscles in his back and the strength of his powerful arms surrounding her. Every inch of him was solid and strong, like a mountain made of granite, yet his kiss was tender and loving, leaving her breathless and trembling and confused.
At last she pulled away. “Damn. This is all your fault.”
Rad blinked and eyed her curiously, swiping a stray strand of hair from her face. “What’s all my fault?”
“You made me have a good time today.” She stared into his eyes and then looked away, not wanting to risk getting lost in his gaze. “And now I have to leave.”
He smiled. “Do you regret it?”
“Only the leaving part,” she said, dejectedly.
“Well, I’ll take the credit for making you have a good time, but you’ll have to take the blame for leaving.”
“I don’t have much choice in the matter.”
“There’s always a choice.” He pulled her back against him, his touch firm and persuasive.
Lauren laid her head against his chest. “Why did you have to be so stubborn and obstinate and not take no for an answer?”
“Honey, if I had taken no for an answer, you would be sound asleep in your bed right now and wouldn’t have half the memories to take with you.”
She half-nodded in agreement and then gazed up at him. “Actually, I’d probably be up and packed.” She glanced toward the hotel. “I really gotta go.”
“Well, wait a second.” He dug through his pocket. “I hope you don’t mind. I got you something for our anniversary.”
Lauren cocked her head. “Our anniversary?”
Rad nodded to something over her shoulder, so she turned around and saw the faint glow of the sunrise. “Don’t tell me you forgot our anniversary. I met you exactly twenty-four hours ago.”
Lauren turned back with a smile on her face and noticed he was holding a small red object in his hand. “It’s not much, but I hope it will keep you from forgetting.”
She took the small Scopes key chain and stared through the hole at the tiny piece of her life frozen in time. In the image, snapped by the photographer on the beach, Rad was standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist.
“Hope you’re not mad.”
“I thought you had it deleted.” She didn’t stop looking at the photo of the two of them together. She had never seen a picture of herself smiling like that. Ever.
She tore her gaze away from the image. “I don’t like my picture being on file.”
“I made sure they deleted it—after they made this. Took care of it myself when I went to get beer.”
Lauren stared at it again and sighed.
“You’re smiling.” He nodded toward the key chain. “Something I hope to see a lot more of.”
Thinking of how slim the chances were of that becoming a reality brought a frown to Lauren’s face. “Yeah. Well, thanks. That’s really nice.”
Remembering her own gift, she pulled it out of her pocket. “Here. Funny. I got you something for our anniversary too.”
“You did?” He spoke with childlike enthusiasm as she handed him the tiny bottle she had purchased the previous morning. “What is it?”
“It’s a little bottle. It’s got Ocean City sand in it, and I filled it clear up to the top with today’s beach air.” Lauren looked down, suddenly shy.
“So, I guess you could say it’s time in a bottle.”
She thought she saw his hand tremble, which was in stark contrast to his unwavering eyes as he gazed at her. “I’ll never forget this day as long as I live, Lauren.”
Normally he had a calm, quiet unassuming manner and eyes that concealed rather than revealed. But Lauren had no trouble reading the yearning and devotion in them now.
His attention finally dropped back down to the bottle again. “Looks like there’s a piece of paper in there too.” He shook it and turned the bottle, holding it up to the dim light. “With a number.” Then his eyes met hers as his mind grasped what it was.
“Yeah. It’s my number. You won.”
Lauren had not intended to give him her number, but when Wynn had kept Rad busy, and she’d been able to find something to write on, she’d chalked it up to fate. Why else would she have bought that bottle this morning and then stuck it in her jeans when she’d changed clothes? It just seemed like it was meant to be.
Rad’s lips curled into a half-cocked grin as he took her back into his arms. “Yes, I definitely won,” he whispered in her ear.
“I can’t promise you’ll reach me with that.” She pulled away. “It’s a sat phone, but still, like I said, I—”
“Yeah, I got it.” His smile was contagious. “It’ll be a week or two until I get settled in and can use it, just so you know.”
Lauren nodded and took a deep breath, knowing she had to be the one to turn and walk away.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” She started to take off his shirt. As well-worn and comfortable as it was, she knew it must be one of his favorites.
“No. Keep it.” He stopped her. “You can give it back next time I see you.”
How generous and thoughtful he is, went through her mind as she gazed up at him. And how comforting it would be to have him in her life, strong and in control—and always there.
Lauren found herself blinking back tears when she thought about where she was going and what she faced. “Okay. If you say so,” she said, even though it did not seem possible to her that she would ever be coming back. Why does he have to make this so hard?
Rad pulled her into his arms again and kissed her slowly, sensually, as if he had all the time in the world and wanted to remember every detail. And then he stopped, but held her even tighter, seemingly to emphasize to her what she would be missing when she eventually turned and walked away. The feel of his embrace, the comfort and security it provided, was almost unbearable in its intimacy. Lauren’s emotions whirled and skidded as she tried to resist the feelings that coursed through her.
But the tangible bond between them was too compelling to try to fight it. Lauren remained riveted to the spot, enjoying the feel of his heartbeat throbbing against hers with a similar erratic tempo. She knew her feelings for him had nothing to do with reason because she was incapable of logical thought. How could she think reasonably and rationally when all she wanted to do was feel like this forever? Who would have guessed that this raw emotion coursing through her—both exhilarating and terrifying in its intensity—would leave her breathless and wanting more?
As emotions continued to roll over her in one euphoric wave after another, Lauren remained silent and still, breathing in the scent of him and trying to memorize the feel of him. That’s when it hit her that she, Lauren Cantrell, was standing on the Boardwalk with her arms wrapped passionately around the neck of a man she had just met this morning. No, actually yesterday morning, she told herself, as if that made all the difference in the world. And then she decided it didn’t really matter when she had met him—because she knew she would never forget him.
Lauren took a deep breath and then reluctantly pulled away. “I gotta go. Goodbye, Rad.” She turned to leave, then hesitated and turned back around as she remembered the fortune-teller’s prediction.
“Miss me already?” he teased.
She smiled. “Yes, and I want you to know…to understand.” She stopped and bit her lip. “That no matter what happens in the future, I had a really good time today.”
He put her face in his hands. “So did I.”
She looked down. “That’s all.”
“See ya, Lauren,” he said as she started to walk away. “And don’t forget.”
She turned her head around and eyed him quizzically. “Forget what?”
“There’s no place like home.”
“While all secrecy requires deception, not all secrets are meant to deceive.”
— Sissela Bok
Chapter 11
Rad tried to get comfortable in the cargo hold of the C-130. He’d popped two Ambiens for the long plane ride even though he knew his body should be able to rest without them. But even with so little sleep and the pills, his mind raced with images of the previous day and night. He wanted it to stop—but he didn’t want to forget a thing—so he just closed his eyes and tried to memorize every detail.
“You thinking about what’s-her-name at the beach—Lauren?”
Rad opened his eyes and looked over at Wynn, who was staring at him with a serious expression.”
“Why?”
“’Cause you’re smiling like a damn love-sick schoolboy, that’s why.”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
Wynn moved closer and talked in a whispered voice, trying not to disturb the others who were attempting to relax and rest. “How long have you known her anyway? I never heard you talk about her before.”
Rad glanced at his watch. “Hmm, thirty-some hours now.”
“You got to be fucking kidding me.” Wynn’s voice grew loud, which caused a few grumbles around the plane, so he whispered again. “You two seemed like old friends.”
Rad leaned back and closed his eyes again. “I know. Kind of crazy, but it felt like we were.”
“You get her number?”
Rad smiled and nodded but didn’t bother to open his eyes.
“Da-a-a-mn, man,” Wynn said. “You’re good.”
“Good… or lucky, I guess.” Rad never had any trouble attracting women, which was why he was known by the guys as the “babe magnet” when they went to bars. He found this natural magnetism to be an annoyance and a curse. His buddies called him the luckiest sonofabitch alive.
But Lauren stood out in stark contrast to the women who usually accosted him. Rad wondered if she thought he was crazy, or worse yet, a stalker. Heck, he probably would have if he were in her shoes. He’d never acted like that with a woman, and he wasn’t sure why he’d been so bold—or trusting for that matter—with her.
One thing for sure. She wasn’t like most women he’d met. She was distant and reserved, yet at the same time, down-to-earth and real. For some reason he found her detached and distrustful personality intriguing. He had felt an instant chemistry the moment he’d laid eyes on her, but had no idea if the feeling was mutual. Much as she thought he could read her mind, he’d found her extremely difficult to assess.
Rad continued to replay the events of the day in his mind like a mini-motion picture. He had not taken his eyes off her from the first moment he’d noticed the long-legged, slender form standing at the water’s edge. The lone figure had appeared as just a dark shadow when he was still some distance away, but as he’d drawn closer, the graceful frame and athletic stance had come into focus.
The hat had been a godsend, giving him a reason to stop and talk. He remembered how his heart had skipped a beat when she’d first raised her gaze. Her eyes, though dark and mysterious, were touched with a peculiar velvety softness that made it hard to look away. Everything about her told of intelligence and resourcefulness and resolve. He couldn’t explain what had induced him to go find her again, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions he’d ever made.
Every minute of the twenty-something hours they’d spent together held memories he didn’t want to forget. He could still picture her in vivid detail, from the tips of her painted toenails to her dark eyes with their secretive expression. And then there was
her walk—effortless and graceful, like Zoltar the fortune-teller had said—as if she knew exactly where she was going.
But the characteristic that attracted him the most and he most readily recalled was her laugh. Although quiet and meditative most of the time, he’d discovered that when she laughed, she did so loudly, and with a sound that was joyful and contagious.
Rad shifted his weight to get comfortable, still thinking about the wide array of memories that resulted from his short amount of time in Ocean City. It didn’t seem possible that so much fun and laughter could have been experienced in a mere one-day span. And it was likewise inconceivable that he, Michael Radcliff, could have clicked so easily and effortlessly with a woman he’d just met.
Closing his eyes again, Rad pictured Lauren sitting on the bench with her feet propped up on the sea wall. Funny, but she had been the first woman he’d ever met who hadn’t asked what he did for a living. Depending on the situation, he usually made up some innocuous occupation, but in this case there had been no need. Of course, she was also the first woman he’d ever met who could turn so instinctively to her four o’clock and could beat him with so little effort at Target Town. He assumed that being the daughter of a Navy veteran explained her familiarity with military terms and maybe even her quick reaction times. But there were other things, little things, he’d noticed that weren’t so easily explained.
Like the way they both had tried to take the seat in the restaurant that allowed a visual of the entrance. She had conceded the chair to Rad without a word, but then casually positioned herself so she had at least a partial view as well. And when he had questioned her about why she so often glanced over her shoulder on the Boardwalk, she had just smiled and said she liked to see what was going on behind her.
Her reaction when he’d walked up on her while she sat on the beach with her head in her arms was no less guarded and unexpected. Even with her eyes closed, she had seemed to sense his approach. Every muscle in her body had tensed, and one hand had even gone to her hip in a seemingly reflexive move that suggested familiarity with having a weapon there. He could almost see her chastise herself for her instinctive reaction and deliberately try to relax. And when he had spoken to her, she had appeared more displeased at herself for allowing him to surprise her than startled at his presence.
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