by Alex Jane
They took to spending more time together outside of the office. Even though Nathaniel remained busy with his dealings, he appeared to find time to visit Gabriel in the glasshouse or wherever else he might be working, often bringing cider for them to share, small snacks, or simply idle conversation to keep Gabriel amused.
"Do you remember the old goat you used to have?"
Gabriel froze, the rag in his outstretched hand dripping for a moment, before he turned and stared at Nathaniel. "It's not as if I could easily forget," he replied. "What on earth made you think of that?"
Nathaniel shrugged, his attention on the peach in his hand that he was slicing with his pocketknife. Gabriel tried his best not to be distracted by the juice clinging to his fingers, or the gentle action of his hands as he separated the pieces. "I don't know," he said. "I was talking with Solomon earlier about getting more livestock if the pack is to expand. He suggested we could get a milk cow. I know we have the space but it seems extravagant."
"So, you thought getting a goat would be more thrifty?"
"Actually, I was thinking about how much trouble the poor thing used to be."
"I think you'll find," Gabriel said, moving closer. "It wasn't the goat that was the problem."
"I hope you're not implying that it was me?"
"Well, as I recall it wasn't the goat who let herself out of the stable and into the house."
Nathaniel smiled slightly and held out a slice. When Gabriel went to take it, Nathaniel pulled away from his hands, which were grimy from work. Instead, he held it up and made to press it against Gabriel's lips. On instinct, Gabriel opened his mouth and Nathaniel slipped the fruit inside, licking his own lips as he did so. "It was a very talented goat," he said softly.
Gabriel could only nod his agreement as he chewed and swallowed, but by the time he was done, Nathaniel had discarded the pit and was getting ready to leave. "Thank you for the peach," Gabriel said, leaning in and placing a kiss on Nathaniel's cheek.
"Thank you for the kiss," Nathaniel said as he turned and left.
Gabriel smiled to himself, his heart lighter than it had been for some time, and as he went to resume his task, he thought he heard Nathaniel humming as he passed by the window.
It was barely a week later when, on a whim, Gabriel asked if Nathaniel would like to take a walk with him, not in the garden but out in the street. He had no other excuse but that he felt cooped up and the weather was pleasant and Nathaniel appeared to be increasingly inclined to indulge him. They had invited the others but everyone had made excuses so the two of them had set out into the evening alone.
Nathaniel had chosen to wear his best top hat, which made him look impossibly tall as far as Gabriel was concerned, and he felt the need to tease his husband about it. He didn't mention it made him resemble Nathaniel's father to an uncanny level, being quite sure if there were photographs of the elder Alpha Hayward at thirty years of age, they would be indistinguishable from Nathaniel's image.
Gabriel fussed a little over not wanting to strain his husband's bad leg too much, which ended in Nathaniel telling him in no uncertain terms to jump off a bridge. It also started a frank conversation about his injuries and how he suffered little pain other than the intense frustration of not being able to move fluidly and having to put up with asinine comments from the well-meaning.
When Gabriel had blushed at that, Nathaniel only took his arm, not missing a step as they paraded about. The gesture fortified Gabriel somewhat, and he found himself tipping his hat more readily to passing neighbors who stared a little too long in their direction.
Enjoying the lapses into silence, almost as much as their light conversation, and the refreshingly cool night air, the couple found themselves returning home quite late, and after locking up and checking the house the two of them took the stairs to bed together.
They reached Gabriel's bedroom first. Nathaniel waited patiently to say their goodbyes while Gabriel opened his door and lit the lamp. It had become their custom, should they retire at the same time, to say goodnight and for Nathaniel to kiss Gabriel's cheek.
But for some reason, as Gabriel turned back to Nathaniel lingering in the open doorway, there was something of a charge between them, a scent in the air like a thunderstorm at night.
"So," Gabriel said as he stepped closer. "Goodnight, then."
"Yes." Nathaniel's eyes were intense and Gabriel's body seemed to be drawn toward him as if magnetized. "Goodnight."
As Nathaniel leaned in, Gabriel turned his cheek as always, then tilted his head up a little for no other reason than it felt right to do so.
A sound came from Nathaniel's throat, somewhere between a growl and a whine, and he placed his lips to Gabriel's cheek. Things had always stopped there before, but that night, Nathaniel's body kept inching closer. The light kiss turned into a nuzzle as he brushed their cheeks together, pushing Gabriel's head back to expose his throat before moving his lips down to kiss him there too.
Gabriel couldn't help the noise that came out of him then, or that he brought his hands up to fist the lapels of Nathaniel's jacket, pulling him in. Spurred on, Nathaniel ravaged his neck, opening his lips to bite kisses up the length of it and over his jaw until he found Gabriel's mouth. Then he ravaged that too.
When Nathaniel's strong arms came around him, Gabriel thought he might lose his mind. Releasing Nathaniel's clothes, which were a rumpled mess where Gabriel's hot hands had clenched them so tight, he found Nathaniel's jaw and drew him down, his fingers carding up into his husband's hair, following his lead and opening his mouth to deepen the kiss.
Gabriel had done this before, and it appeared so had Nathaniel, but he'd never had his insides catch alight and threaten to burn him alive before. He'd never felt so very right with another person that he'd wanted more. Nathaniel pressed their bodies flush together; he'd never experienced the unmistakable hardness of another man's cock settle against his.
They both groaned with the sensation, and somehow the frantic, passionate kiss they were sharing mellowed into something deeper, more intimate and lasting.
Nathaniel stepped in to Gabriel's body, turning him slightly and trapping him against the frame of the door as if he might try to get away. Except Gabriel was exactly where he wanted to be and pressed closer, slotting his leg between Nathaniel's so he could feel his erection and the weight of his balls through the fabric separating them, groaning wantonly when Nathaniel canted his hips against him.
Then Nathaniel stopped. That he didn't leap away in disgust or embarrassment was something, at least, but still Gabriel whined when his husband drew away.
"Not like this," Nathaniel said, his voice hoarse, touching his hand gently to Gabriel's cheek, letting his fingers trail down to find Gabriel's spit-wet, swollen lips and run over those too. "Not like this."
"I want you," Gabriel whispered, hoping to hell Nathaniel believed him.
Nathaniel kissed him softly on the mouth. "You have me."
"But—"
"Tomorrow." There was no arguing with Nathaniel's tone. There was too much Alpha in it to be anything other than a command. "We'll talk tomorrow and then…we'll see."
"I hope to do more than see," Gabriel muttered and received a chuckle and another peck on the lips before Nathaniel stood back and smiled at him.
"Goodnight."
Once, he'd watched his husband walk away and disappear into his room at the end of the hall, Gabriel wasted no time in closing his door and divesting himself of his trousers. It took only a few cursory tugs to have him coming into his hand, his vision blurring with the intensity of it and his knees buckling as he braced himself against the end of his bed.
He disposed of his spend in the chamber pot, then undressed unhurried, periodically stopping to touch the places where Nathaniel had touched him and smiling. Of course, once in bed, his contentment and frustrated longing turned into something quite like fear as he thought over what Nathaniel had said.
…and then…we'll see.
&nb
sp; 8
Gabriel slept like the dead. As he'd got into bed, he had thought he would be lying awake half the night, musing over what had happened and what might occur the following day. Except he had fallen asleep quickly and only woke when the light from a crack in the curtains reached his pillow.
His ability to relax was somewhat comforting, at least. It appeared as much as his thoughts ran to all things fearful, his unconscious mind had no qualms about what the day might bring, making it possible for him to be rested. Rested and full of energy as if he was holding an electrical wire. So much so that his hands shook as he buttoned his waistcoat ready for breakfast. He didn't normally bother but of all the days to dress precisely, it seemed as if this one should be worth making the effort.
The table was set and it looked as if the pack were waiting for him to arrive when he came into the kitchen. Nathaniel quirked an eyebrow at his tardiness but he looked away. Abel had no such reason to be subtle.
"We were about to send out a search party for you," he joked. "You coming down with something?"
It would have been easy to josh back with a jibe like, "yeah, your sister," as he would have done with boys his age when he'd been in school, but he didn't feel much like laughing it off and, of course, Abel was without a family of his own for reasons he'd not yet discovered, so it could well be in poor taste at best. So, he simply shrugged and mumbled, "Sorry," as he took his seat.
Apart from a few quizzical looks thrown his way, the others mostly ignored his reserved demeanor as they ate and discussed the day ahead. When Ruth asked if they'd had a nice walk the previous evening, Gabriel had fumbled his coffee cup, spilling some onto his plate, thankfully, rather than onto his trousers. Nathaniel answered her as if Gabriel didn't have to wipe his hands on his napkin surreptitiously under the table, or that they hadn't been rutting against each other in the upstairs hallway a few hours before. Gabriel wasn't sure if he had ever admired Nathaniel more, given his composure, or if he feared his husband had changed his mind and his coolness was evidence of that.
Gabriel managed to get through the rest of the meal without dropping anything or making a complete fool of himself. He was eventually able to contribute to the conversation and was discussing helping Solomon in the garden that morning when Nathaniel spoke up.
"No."
"No? What no?"
"No, I…I need Gabriel this morning."
Solomon pulled his napkin from his lap and lay it next to his plate, a look of concern on his face. Nathaniel might be the Alpha but where matters of household management were concerned, he generally never questioned Solomon's direction.
"Can it wait?" Solomon asked. "I'm sure whatever you need him for is important, but I need to get the winter brassicas planted today and it'll be a stretch for one man."
Nathaniel's composure broke and he grimaced, rubbing at his brow with his weak hand. "One hour, then. I think it…I think it should only take an hour. Maybe less. I'm sure he'll value some time in the open air afterwards."
Thankfully, Gabriel wasn't eating then or he might have choked to death. Solomon didn't notice and only nodded. "All right. I'll see you in the garden at ten o'clock."
Gabriel didn't react—he couldn't—not knowing quite how to feel and scared to give himself away if he so much as blinked. After Solomon raised his eyebrows at him, he managed to nod but then fixed his eyes firmly back down on his empty plate as if he could find salvation in the smears of bacon grease and egg yolk.
He'd managed to pull himself together by the time everyone was getting up and clearing their plates. Nathaniel had left with a quiet, "Come to my office when you're ready," so, of course, Gabriel lingered as long as he could. Frank was on duty to clean the dishes and when Gabriel was quite certain it was only the two of them left in the house, he grabbed Frank by the arm and, ignoring his shouts of protest, bundled him into the pantry and firmly shut the door behind them.
"What on god's green—!"
Gabriel clapped his hand over Frank's mouth, hissing, "Keep your voice down!"
Frank roughly pushed his hand away and whispered, "What on god's green earth are you doing?"
"I-I need your advice."
"You couldn't ask while I get my work done?"
Gabriel shook his head. "Please can you just…please."
Frank sighed heavily and folded his arms across his chest. "This better be good."
"All right," Gabriel muttered, more to himself than his companion. "All right, I guess…last night…"
There was a long pause before Frank scuffed his boot toward him, tapping their toes together to get his attention. "Last night? Yes?"
"Last night. No. I just need to ask you—or I guess you need to tell me—I mean—"
"Oh my god, man, spit it out before we both suffocate in here!"
"I think Nate wants to have marital relations with me and I need you to tell me what to do." The words flowed out in one breath as if they were all joined together.
Frank looked at him for a moment, his face blank, blinking once, twice, then, "No. No way. Let me out."
He tried to barge past Gabriel and head for the door but Frank was no match for a Beta's size or strength and it took little effort to block his path.
"Please. Please help me. I have no one else to ask. And I know you have…experience. You've talked about it before."
"Yes," Frank said, exasperated and finally giving in to the reality of not being able to escape. "With women. I've never—with a man. And oh my god, what if he catches me in here, with you, talking about fucking! Please let me out, Gabe, if you want me to live. Ask somebody else."
"Who else am I going to ask?" Gabriel threw up his hands. "I can't ask his pack mates. I'm sure as hell not going to ask my father. And besides, didn't you hear? He wants to talk to me today. Talk, Frank. And after the talk there'll be…oh god."
"Don't you want this? I thought you liked him?"
"I do. I do want it. I just don't know what to do. I've never…y'know."
Frank rolled his eyes. "Well, that's no problem. Just let him take the lead."
Gabriel thought about letting it go, but he knew he could trust his friend. "Therein lies the problem. He hasn't either."
"Hasn't…?" It took Frank a second. "Oh." He sat down on a barrel of flour, staring off into the distance. "Oh, I see. That's…oh."
"So, will you help?" Gabriel was suddenly very conscious of the time and looked over his shoulder at the door as if to indicate he had to meet Nathaniel sooner rather than later.
Frank groaned and buried his head in his hands before sitting up abruptly. He raised his hand and looked about to speak, pressed his lips into a hard line, before finally letting go and starting to talk.
"So help me—all right. Firstly, I don't care if you're married to him, if he forces you to do anything you don't want to I will kill him. But that goes for you, too. You need to talk with him about what you like or don't and you need to listen to him, too. If he ever asks you to stop then you must, just as you must expect that from him, yes?"
"Yes." Gabriel wondered if he should be writing this down. "Absolutely."
"I'm assuming you pleasure yourself—no! Please don't answer that—so the best way to please him might be to start with what you like yourself and go from there. I'm guessing you'll want to—or he might prefer…"
Frank looked at Gabriel with an expression of expectancy as if Gabriel was going to fill in the gap. "Prefer what?"
Sending up a silent prayer, Frank rolled his eyes. "Fucking, Gabe. He might prefer to fuck you rather than be fucked by you."
Gabriel's cheeks caught fire and his cock twitched at the thought, which was almost more mortifying than Frank saying such things. "Good grief, keep your voice down!" he hissed.
"You wanted me to help. What did you think we were going to talk about?" Getting no reply, Frank went on. "I'm assuming you have some petroleum jelly."
Gabriel frowned. "I have some to clean my boots?"
"You'll need i
t. To lubricate your—and his—before you—" He made a lewd but informative gesture.
"Oh, dear god."
"Probably. Also, don't rush things, all right. Take your time. It might be uncomfortable but nothing you do should hurt or cause you distress. Or him. It's supposed to be pleasurable. And besides that, you're married. You have the rest of your lives to learn how to please each other. You don't have to be good at this right away. Just talk to him, Gabe. If you do one thing, keep talking. Ask him what he likes. Tell him what pleases you. He loves you." Frank shook his head when Gabriel looked at him in shock and tried to protest. "No, he does. We all see it. He won't hurt you."
"I know," Gabriel said. "I just don't want to hurt him."
Frank got to his feet and slapped Gabriel's shoulders. "Just don't laugh at his tallywhacker and you should be fine. Can I go now, please?"
Gabriel stepped aside too stunned to speak until Frank was halfway out the door. "Thank you," he said quietly.
"You'll be all right. You both care about each other and that's all that matters. Well. That and the petroleum jelly."
The door to the study was closed as usual. Gabriel had come into the habit of simply walking straight in whenever he felt like it, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do so that morning. There was a sense of dread in his gut, not from the idea that this might be a precursor to an actual intimate relationship with his husband—one he'd craved for such a long time—but from the stench of anxiety that poured through the gaps in the frame, leeching out, all sickly and sour. More than once Gabriel had raised his fist to knock but hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. Nathaniel must have known he was standing there, waiting, but it appeared they were at an impasse until the moment Gabriel finally girded his loins. Except, when he took a step forward and reached for the handle, the door swung open abruptly before he'd been able to touch it.