by Becca Steele
As I outlined my idea, identical devious smiles spread across their faces.
“I can’t fucking wait.” Kian rubbed his hands together.
As he and Xavier began arguing over mask colours, my attention was diverted by a lone student entering the door—Raine Laurent. Anger burned through me as the memory of what had happened yesterday overtook my mind.
I rolled to a stop in the garage next to my dad’s Bentley. That meant he was home. Which meant my English teacher, who just so happened to be one of his old school friends and golf buddies, must’ve contacted him about my grade. Fuck. I’d hoped I might be able to fly under the radar, but I guess not.
Sure enough, when I entered the kitchen, there he was.
“Carter.” So much disapproval dripped from that one word.
“I’ll try harder.”
“That’s not good enough. This is the third time this has happened.” He stayed calm and collected, too composed to show any outward signs of anger, but it was all there in his clenched jaw and the frustrated hand he was running through his hair. “Need I remind you that your future is at stake, here? I can open some doors for you, but without that degree, you’re not going to last five minutes.”
“I know.”
He continued as if I hadn’t even spoken. “Why can’t you take a leaf from Rainey’s book? Her grades are impeccable.”
And there it was again. Raine fucking Laurent. Both my mum and dad thought she was so fucking perfect, kissing her ass and going on about how clever and amazing she was all the time. The constant comparisons were nothing new, but every time I was compared to her and found wanting, it fucking stung.
“Maybe I could speak to Pam, see if Rainey can give you some tutoring,” he mused.
My stomach rolled, and I gritted my teeth. “Not a good idea, Dad. She’ll be way too busy with her own schoolwork.”
“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind—”
“No. I promise I’ll do it, Dad.” Fuck. That.
“You’d better. This is your last warning.” Turning his back to me, he called out for our housekeeper. “Joan?”
I took that as my cue to leave. I’d just reached the door, Joan entering the kitchen and giving me a small smile, when my dad’s voice stopped me. “Don’t forget the school rules—you’re off the football team if you don’t improve your grades.”
There was no way I was getting kicked off the team. We were already fucked with Kian’s suspension, and I was the captain. If I was gone, too, the rest of the team would be screwed, with no hope of winning the championships. Why did my dad have to be buddies with someone who had the power to take away the one thing I loved? And why did he have to constantly compare me to Raine Laurent?
“Got to get my books from my locker. I’ll be back,” I muttered, sliding out of my seat and stalking over to Raine before anyone could reply.
Her eyes widened as I neared her, and she glanced around wildly as if she was looking for an escape. I suppressed the sudden, unexpected urge to wrap my hand around that little throat again. What the fuck was wrong with me?
“Outside, now.” I continued stalking towards the doors, knowing she wouldn’t want to cause a scene in front of the other students.
Hearing a muffled curse behind me, I smiled to myself as I turned to face her.
“What do you want?” She stared at me defiantly, but she couldn’t disguise the shake in her voice.
“This way.” The last thing I wanted was for people to think I was showing an interest in her, and I checked around me to make sure no one was paying us any attention. Satisfied we were in the clear, I gripped her arm, dragging her down the opposite corridor. She stumbled, trying to keep up with my pace as I rounded the corner and came to a stop under the stairwell.
As soon as we were there, I let go of her, pushing her up against the wall and planting my hands on the wall behind her head. I was thrown for a moment at the feel of her small body against mine, before I gathered myself and spoke the words I’d dragged her aside to say. “I want you to find another way home from school on Mondays.”
She stood completely still, staring at me with wide eyes, her pupils dilated with an intoxicating combination of apprehension and arousal. Eventually, she took a breath and spoke, her voice practically vibrating with tension. “I-I can’t. What will I tell my aunt and your parents? How am I going to get home?”
“Not my concern.” As I leaned into her, the scent of apples and caramel invaded my senses.
“I can’t.” Her mouth set in a stubborn, flat line.
Pressing my body into hers, I lowered my mouth to her ear. “You will. I don’t care how it happens, I don’t want you in my car again.” She didn’t need to know that her presence made me feel out of control, that she got under my skin like nothing else, and I hated it. The best thing for both of us was for her to stay as far away from me as possible.
Her chest rose and fell beneath me, her breathing rapid against the side of my face. Drawing back, I waited until her eyes met mine, before I continued. “And you need to stop sucking up to my parents.”
“I’m not,” she whispered, lowering her gaze.
“You are.” I laughed. “You know, they only praise you because they feel sorry for you. You’d have to be completely naïve not to realise that they don’t mean any of the things they say to you. Don’t forget your place, Raine Laurent. You’re insignificant. Nothing.” The cruel lies fell easily from my lips, and she stiffened beneath me, a tiny, pained whimper escaping from her mouth before she clamped it shut.
Glistening tears gathered on her lashes. One fell, and my eyes followed it down her face to her cheekbone. Before I knew what I was fucking doing, I gripped her chin in my hand and licked away the tear, the saltiness bursting on my tongue.
She let out a shocked gasp, and another tear fell.
“Why?” she managed to say. “Why?”
She didn’t deserve an explanation from me, and I didn’t have one to give her. “Because I fucking can.”
Back in the cafeteria, I pushed all thoughts of Raine Laurent from my mind. What had just happened between us, I had no fucking idea. I’d lost all rationality when it came to that girl. All I knew was, my dad needed to get off my back, and she needed to stay well away from me.
The boys didn’t seem to notice anything amiss, and we fell into an easy discussion about the logistics of our plan for Fright Night. Preparation was key—it was no good going in without any idea.
Once we had everything together, we headed outside to join some of the football team before the rest of our lunch break was up.
My ex-girlfriend, Anastasia, was hanging out in the quad area with Imogen and their little group of friends. She caught my eye, tilting her blonde head at me hopefully, and I gave a slight shake of my head. Yeah, she was hot, but way too high-maintenance for me. If she thought there was a chance we’d be getting back together, she had another think coming. I’d been there, done that, and I had no intention of repeating myself. Playing the field was much easier—no commitments, no burden of having to constantly take the other person into account when making decisions. It sounded selfish, but my only goals this year were to stay at the top where I belonged, graduate with the grades I needed to get into Alstone College, and to keep my spot as football team captain. If we could win the football league this season, even better.
I noticed Xavier glancing over at Imogen when he thought no one else was looking, and I rolled my eyes. These were two people who were in serious fucking denial about wanting to get back together. They’d broken up at the beginning of the summer, and Xavier had been a miserable fucker ever since.
Not that it was my problem to sort out. My attention turned to the football game we were playing after school on Wednesday against our biggest rivals.
“You think we can beat Highnam Academy? Blount’s got a serious chip on his shoulder after the last match. I wouldn’t put it past him to try something sneaky.”
“I’ve got it covered,”
Preston Montgomery III, one of our strikers, assured me. “You concentrate on holding him back, and I’ll do my thing.”
“Shame I won’t be there, making us all look good by scoring the goals. Hope you’re up to the task,” Kian muttered under his breath, glaring in Preston’s direction. I let it go, because I knew how frustrated he was about being suspended from the team and Preston getting all the praise in the meantime.
We’d be stuck without Preston, though. New to the school this year—he’d transferred from the USA, and other than his irritating habit of referring to football as “soccer,” he was a talented player who worked well with the rest of the team. I just hoped that when Kian was back from his suspension, he’d get over this grudge he was holding against his teammate.
“I’m more worried about Cameron.” Xavier finally tore his attention away from Imogen. “When he crosses the ball to Blount, they’re unstoppable.” Despite his input, Xavier wasn’t actually on the team—for some reason, aka his thing for Imogen, he’d joined the drama club this year. Even though he was a decent player, he’d easily given it up for a chance to prance around on a stage with her. I didn’t get it, but whatever. No one would dare to question him either—his uncle was a huge TV producer, married to a former supermodel, and his whole family always seemed to be hanging out with celebrities. Meaning, everyone at school wanted to suck up to him.
“With Carter running the show, no one can get past us.” Chris, another of my teammates, grinned at me.
As everyone began talking tactics, my mind wandered to my English class. If I didn’t get my shit together, I wouldn’t be running the show for much longer.
3
“You’re quiet. Even more than normal.” My friend, Lena Drummond, peered at me as we sat in front of the large monitors in the computer lab during our free period on Wednesday.
We’d only become friends this term, when we’d been partnered together on a project, in our shared Economics class, and while I kept everyone at arm’s length, there was something about her that I was drawn to. I wished I could let her in, but I found it so difficult to open up. Something I was working on, but the fear of being hurt was always there. The fear of rejection. Carter’s words came to my mind again. Insignificant. Nothing.
Sometimes, I wished Lena’s don’t-give-a-fuck attitude would rub off on me. She was so confident, so uncaring of what people thought of her. Even now, she flouted the strict dress code rules with her heavy eyeliner, black painted nails, and fishnets with boots instead of the usual tights and shoes the rest of us wore. She could get away with it, though, being school royalty. Her family pretty much ran our town, along with the Lowry and Cavendish families. She was untouchable, even to Carter Blackthorne and his friends.
I opened up my file browser, navigating to the folder with my partially completed essay. Next to me, Lena opened up a complicated-looking screen, covered in numbers. “I’m fine.”
She raised a brow at me, clearly not believing my words. “Try saying that more convincingly, and I might believe you.”
“It’s nothing, really. Just a run-in with Carter. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Carter? As in, Carter Blackthorne?”
“Yeah.”
Turning her head to stare at me, she frowned. “Really?”
I nodded.
“What’s his problem with you?”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” I assured her, refusing to allow my voice to tremble.
“Boys are more trouble than they’re worth,” Lena muttered, almost to herself. “If he gives you any trouble, tell me, okay?”
“I will. Thanks.” Grasping for a change of subject, I gestured at her computer screen. “I don’t get how you understand that.”
“Ha. Numbers are easy to me. Maths, computers, whatever. Give me a needle and thread, though, and I wouldn’t have a clue where to start.”
“You have creative talent, too, though. You have your own style. You always look great. Me, on the other hand?” I pointed to myself. “Well…”
She turned her full attention to me. “That’s because you use your uniform to hide away. To make yourself less noticeable. Me? I don’t give a fuck. I’m not hiding anything.”
I gaped at her. “You noticed that?”
“Raine, no offence, but I had no clue you even existed until this year. You’re a pro at making yourself invisible.”
“I…” What could I even say to that? How could I explain the voices inside my head, constantly telling me that I wasn’t enough? That I hid away so no one would have a chance to hurt me? To make me feel less?
It could be blamed on any number of things—my parents passing away, being shuffled between temporary places before my aunt adopted me, the kids in those places who’d singled me out as an easy target when I’d turned up at their school, an outcast in uniform that never quite fitted. I bore no physical scars from that time, but the emotional ones had taken a lot longer to heal. Wherever the blame lay, I’d learned over the years to keep to myself, and now, that was my comfort zone. I felt safe when I slipped under the radar and stayed in the background. It was my armour, my protection against being hurt.
Lena studied me closely, her lips pursed in thought. “I’ve had an idea.” Her eyes gleamed with a challenge. “Do you trust me?”
I stared at her for a long moment, before I made my decision. “Yes.” My voice was a cautious whisper.
A huge smile spread across her face. “It’s time to step out of the shadows and into the light.” My stomach flipped at her words. What was that supposed to mean? She turned back to her computer but kept talking. “Does this hiding away extend outside of school hours? Like, do you ever meet up with anyone outside of school? Do anything social?”
My cheeks grew hot. “No.”
“Hey, I wasn’t trying to make fun of you. It’s okay that you haven’t. I just get the feeling you’re hiding, rather than doing it out of choice? Am I right?”
Wow, she was direct. And completely correct. “Yes.” I sighed, lowering my gaze. “I guess…I’m used to keeping to myself. I don’t know how to be any other way.” I couldn’t add the rest of it, couldn’t voice my fears aloud, but that was enough of an explanation for Lena.
“Okay. We’re going to try a few things. Get you more comfortable being around people.”
“Why are you doing this?” Why would she want to help me?
She smiled, turning back to face me. “Because…let’s just say that I know what it’s like to hide away. And I can read you, and I know that underneath that cautious exterior the real Raine Laurent is dying to come out to play.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Fright Night. You’re coming with me.”
Fright Night? Was she serious? That was going to be a huge event—all the local schools had been issued invitations, and I was pretty sure almost all the students in my classes would be there.
I stared at her for a moment, before I managed to gasp out the words. “But…but that’s a huge event!”
A satisfied smile played across her lips. “Exactly. That’s why it’s perfect. There’ll be so many people around, it’ll be easy for you to blend in. Doing this, you get to be around people out of a school setting without the pressure of attention on you. Trust me, you can handle this.”
I stopped and thought for a minute. She was probably right, and maybe with her there as a buffer, it would be okay. I groaned under my breath. “I don’t know what…I want to say yes, but I guess I’m scared.” If I was truthful with myself, I knew I needed to stop hiding away all the time. Why couldn’t I have Lena’s confidence? Why was I still so hung up on my past that I couldn’t move on?
“I know you are, but this will be good for you.” She placed her hand on my arm, squeezing it briefly. “I promise you’ll have fun.”
I didn’t really have an excuse. I was only going to be spending the evening home alone, anyway. Again. It was rare that my aunt and I both had an evening at home together these da
ys, where I wasn’t busy doing homework or sewing costumes and she wasn’t working another overnight shift at the hospital birth unit where she was a senior midwife.
“Okay,” I said finally. Turning back to my computer screen, I mumbled, “I hope I don’t regret it.”
“You won’t regret it,” Lena promised me. “You get to be in disguise, too, so you don’t even have to worry about people recognising you if you don’t want them to.”
My fingers paused, mid-type, and I twisted in my seat, giving her my full attention. “A disguise?”
“Costumes,” she elaborated. “It’s Halloween. You do know most people will be wearing costumes, right?”
Right. “Oh, yeah.”
“No need to sound so enthusiastic.” She rolled her eyes, grinning at me. “I think you should make something. Use your talent for costume design.”
“Hmm. I guess I could. So you want me to come up with something that disguises me? Why don’t I just wear a full body suit?” I smirked at her. “Ooh, I could go as a hot dog.”
“Did you actually make a joke?” A proud smile spread across her face as I shrugged, then nodded. “Yay! This is a breakthrough. You’re becoming comfortable enough to joke around me.” The smile disappeared as she narrowed her eyes at me. “But you are not going as a hot dog. Think of a sexy disguise.”
I laughed. Sexy was just about the last word anyone would use in relation to me. “Fine. I’ll see what I can come up with. What’s your costume?”
“Harley Quinn, or an approximation, at least. It means I can mostly wear my own clothes.” She shrugged. “You know me. I’m not one to conform.”
For the hundredth time, I wished I had her attitude. How freeing would it be to be yourself, completely? “That’s true,” I agreed. “Okay, so I need a costume. I don’t have much time, but I’ll see what I can put together. Anything else I need to know?”
“Nope. Nothing I can think of. I’ll meet you by the main park gates beforehand, and we can take it from there.”