by Becca Steele
“Is there something wrong with me?” My voice came out as a whisper.
“No! Raine. Not everyone likes the same thing. There’s nothing wrong with you, so don’t even think that for a second. But I need you to answer me something, and this is really fucking important, so be honest with me.”
I nodded, taken aback by her deadly serious expression.
“Has Carter, or anyone for that matter, ever done anything to you against your will? Sexually, I mean.”
I shook my head slowly. “N-no. Every time he’s touched me, I’ve…liked it. Wanted more. Even when I didn’t want to want more.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. I want you to promise me that if you’re ever in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, or anyone tries to get you to do something against your will, you tell me. Please, Raine. Don’t let yourself become a victim.” There was a kind of glazed, faraway expression on her face, and her eyes were looking a little glassy.
“Lena? Is there anything you want to talk about?”
A tear gathered at the corner of her lashes, and she angrily swiped it away. “No. I’m fine. I just…just stay safe, okay?”
“Okay.” I reached out and squeezed her hand, and she gave me a small smile.
“I need to get out of here,” she muttered.
“I’m going back to play.”
“Are you sure?” She stared at me in surprise, and I nodded resolutely.
“I need to stop running away. Stop acting like they’re better than me.”
“That’s the spirit. Promise me you’ll leave if you need to, though, okay? I’ll come back and find you a bit later, or you can text me.”
“I will. Go. I’ll be fine.” And for the first time since this whole comfort zone experiment had begun, I meant it.
After she’d left, I took a breath, then jumped off the crate and headed back over to them with my head held high. Carter’s gaze immediately went to mine, and he frowned, studying me intently. Could he see my newfound confidence? I couldn’t believe I actually had Anastasia to thank for my little epiphany.
I leaned over the crate, tugging the bottle from Kian’s grasp. “It must be my turn by now.”
There was a shocked silence for a moment—story of the evening—and then he rocked back on his heels. “You missed your turn, so you have to do a forfeit as well as a kiss.”
“Fine.” I gave what I hoped was a casual shrug, battling between holding on to my courage and the nerves that were bubbling up inside me. Quickly, I placed the bottle on the table and sent it spinning wildly. I held my breath as it slowed, creeping around the circle, nudging past Carter, and coming to a stop in front of Xavier.
I heard Imogen’s sharp intake of breath and felt the electric current of Carter’s rage snap against my skin. I felt kind of bad about kissing Xavier when he and Imogen were still obviously hung up on each other, but it was the nature of the game, and I was now all in.
Rising from my seat, I met Xavier’s dark eyes, and he gave me a small smile. I took a step towards him, when Carter’s leg came out and knocked into the crate. The bottle moved incrementally to the left, and it was now sitting in between Xavier and Carter. People were exchanging glances, and my courage was quickly evaporating.
“Looks like it stopped between us both.” No one missed the sarcasm in Xavier’s tone. “Who’s it gonna be, Raine? Or do you want to spin again?”
I kept my gaze on Xavier. “I pick y—”
“Me.” Carter’s voice sliced through the air, stopping me in my tracks. My eyes flew to his. He didn’t look happy. “Look, we all know X-man and Immy have a thing for each other still. Let’s not make this any more awkward. Raine, come here.”
“Carter!” Imogen’s tone, laced with hurt, came from behind my head, where she’d moved to stand, leaning against the wall.
“I have a better idea!” Kian shouted over everyone, dispelling the tension in the air. “Raine’s forfeit is to kiss both of you, until I call time.”
“At the same time?” I managed, blinking at this sudden turn of events.
“Y—” Preston kicked him. “Not unless you want to.”
My shoulders sagged in relief. “One at a time, then. Fine. I accept.” Ignoring the muttering and whispers around us, I stalked over to Xavier before I could talk myself out of it and leaned down, placing my lips on his. As he opened his mouth for me, his hand coming to the back of my neck to hold it in place, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience or something. Was this really happening?
Xavier’s lips were full and firm, and he kissed with utter confidence, owning my mouth like he knew exactly what to do to make me feel good.
His kiss did nothing for me, as I expected. I could feel Carter’s presence next to us, and I kept my eyes closed.
“Time’s up,” Kian called, and Xavier released me, a slow smile spreading across his face.
“You got skills, baby.”
“Carter, you’re up.”
Our eyes met, the gold flecks sparking as he took me in, a dark look on his face. This was the first time he’d properly looked at me since he’d thrown me out of his house, and the full force of his gaze was almost too much. I was barely aware of Anastasia abruptly shooting off the sofa and moving away as I came to stand in front of him. He lazily spread his legs so I could step between them, casually indifferent, but the electric connection between us snapped and pulsed, and a wave of desire shot through me, so strong that I had to clamp my teeth down on my bottom lip to stop a whimper from escaping.
“Raine.” My name slipped from his lips, and as if it was the most natural thing in the world, he reached up at the same time I leaned down, and our mouths collided as he pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him.
Xavier owned me with his kiss, but Carter obliterated me.
“Time!” Kian’s voice penetrated the fog surrounding me and Carter, and we broke apart, both breathing heavily.
“Is something going on here? I called time five times.”
Carter stiffened, glancing over at Kian, and the heat disappeared from his gaze. “Nah. Just an experiment to see if the geek can actually kiss.” He didn’t even look at me.
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, then opened them and climbed off him. “I think I’ll leave now.” My voice was quiet but steady, and I’d never been so grateful. Without another word, I pivoted on my heel and walked out without looking back.
Lena caught up with me outside. “What happened?” I gave her a rundown, and her eyes darkened. “I will fuck him up. What the actual fuck is his problem?”
“I don’t even want to know anymore. Can we just go—”
“I’m not letting him scare you away.”
“I wasn’t going to say that.” A small smile curved over my lips. “I was going to say, can we just go and dance and forget about him?”
She returned my smile. “Yep. Let’s go.” We made our way back into the warehouse, and I pasted a bright smile on my face as we began to dance, ignoring the ache that was spreading deep in my chest.
24
I lost myself in the music. Gradually the pain in my chest receded, and one song merged into another until I was breathless and dying for a drink.
“Lena!” Shouting over the music to be heard, I waved my hand to get her attention. Her head swung around to face me. Lifting my hand, I mimed drinking a drink, then pointed to the bar with my eyebrows raised. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, glanced at it, then shook her head with a sigh. Stepping closer, she spoke loudly.
“I’ve got to go now really. I promised my mum I’d be back by 1:00 a.m. She’s taking me into London tomorrow to go shopping for a dress for the winter ball.” She pulled a face, letting me know what she thought of that idea, and I laughed.
“Do you mind if I stay? I could get an Uber back with Jax and the others?” I’d heard Lena’s friends mention they were going to book an Uber home, and I knew at least one of them lived close to me.
�
��You don’t need my permission to stay.” Grinning at me, she squeezed my arm. “Stay, have fun. You’re doing great. I’m proud of you.”
I smiled at her. As usual, my aunt was doing an overnight shift at the hospital, so I had nothing to rush home for.
Bounding over to Jax, she spoke into his ear, and he glanced over to me with a nod and a thumbs up, and I shot him a smile. After saying my goodbyes to Lena and promising to text her, I made my way over to the bar, where I ordered a bottle of water. Downing the water, I leaned against the wall, people-watching.
Through the smoky haze I noticed a large walkway above me that circled the warehouse. Heading over to the metal steps, I ducked under the barrier and made my way up to the top. After I’d placed my bottle of water down on the floor, I leaned on the railing that ran along the side of the walkway, my arms folded, just watching the people down below me. Everything was still hazy, but the crowds had thinned out a little, allowing me to focus more clearly on the individuals.
Something caught my eye, far down below. Darting between the dancing bodies were figures in LED masks, randomly pelting people with paint bombs. I laughed, but my laughter died away almost instantly as the sight of the masks brought back memories of Carter.
With a sigh, I leaned down to pick up my water bottle.
My spine prickled with awareness.
When I straightened up, I realised I was no longer alone on the walkway.
My head turned, slowly, almost against my will. I blinked, my focus fixed on the far end of the walkway where a swirl of thick red smoke was pumping from a metal cylinder, obscuring my vision. As the smoke grenade dropped to the walkway floor with a clatter, a figure dressed in black, with a smooth, black mask concealing their features emerged through the clearing smoke.
The fear was instantaneous. This wasn’t even like when Carter had grabbed me. This was bone-deep, a chill that surged through my veins, urging me to get away right now. My water bottle fell from my fingers, forgotten, as I froze in place.
There was only one way off this walkway, and it was behind the figure.
They stepped closer. Despite being clad in an oversized hoodie, I could tell that they were shorter than Carter, with a slim build that was nothing like his bulk. “Wh-what do you want?” I breathed out, attempting to keep my voice even as my earlier confidence evaporated. At the same time, I reached into my shorts pocket, grasping my keys. Threading them between my fingers, I took a step towards the figure. The figure hesitated, and I took my chance, feinting to the left and then darting to the right. As I passed the figure, they reached out a gloved hand, gripping a handful of my hair and yanking my head back.
My heart hammered hard in my chest, and on instinct I threw my hands out, grabbing the round bar running along the top of the railing. Throwing my head forwards, I managed to tear my hair free, hearing a high-pitched grunt come from behind me. I didn’t waste any more time, clattering down the stairs as fast as I could and leaping off the last few, smacking blindly into a large body.
All the air was knocked out of me. Arms came around me, encircling my waist. “Little trickster. Where are you going in such a hurry?”
I had never in my life been so glad for Carter’s presence as I was right then. I shivered against him, and his voice changed, concern threading through his tone. “What’s wrong?”
Raising my face, I stared up at him. He had on his mask, and I couldn’t make out his eyes. I couldn’t speak. He grasped my chin in his hand. “What is it?”
“Th-there’s someone up there. On th-the walkway. They tried to grab me.”
“What?” His entire body stiffened. Moving back, he scanned the walkway high above us, slowly and carefully, before he shook his head, looking back down at me. “Raine. There’s no one there.”
My whole body trembled in his grip, and he pulled me into him. I rested my head against his solid chest, my heart rate slowly returning to normal.
He lowered his head to my ear. “Do you want me to go up and check?”
Shaking my head, I threaded my arms around his waist, realising I was still clutching my keys in my hand. I felt him sigh against me, and then he let go of me, tugging on my arms so I released him. Reaching down, he took my hand in his and began weaving us through the crowds. I kept a tight grip on my keys, every masked figure suddenly seeming like a threat, as they ran in and out of the dancing bodies, throwing the paint bombs at unsuspecting partygoers. One hit me square in the chest, and I gasped with shock as the cold blue paint trickled down between my breasts. Carter never let up his stride, though, so I didn’t even have a chance to stop and wipe off the paint. After what had just happened, I didn’t want to leave him. As much as he’d upset me earlier, and despite the way he acted a lot of the time, he felt safe. I felt safe with him. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me.
Leading me into the warehouse foyer, he stopped and tugged his mask off. “I’m taking you home.”
“But I don’t want to go.” I folded my arms, tilting my chin up stubbornly and glaring at him. Somehow, I managed to block out what had happened up on the walkway and chose to focus on the here and now. It was actually easy to do when I was in Carter’s presence. He commanded my full attention, and everything else faded into insignificance.
My reply just made him smile. “You’ve had enough fun for tonight, don’t you think?” His gaze lowered, his eyes darkening as he took in my paint-covered cleavage. “You’re all covered in paint.” One finger came up, dipping into the still-wet paint and trailing it up, over my collarbone. “So fucking gorgeous,” he said softly, his voice so low that I could barely hear him.
I barely repressed the delicious shiver that ran down my spine. Stepping closer, I ran my hand up his chest, feeling the alternating combination of his soft cotton T-shirt and dried paint under my palm. “I don’t want to go,” I said again.
He swept his fingers down into the wet paint again, sending goosebumps popping all over my body. Dragging his hand up until he was lightly gripping my throat, he leaned closer. “What do you want, then?”
“Hmm?” I was distracted by his touch and his mouth so close to mine. Just a few millimetres closer and our lips would be touching.
“I said, what do you want?” His breath was hot on my lips.
Before I could reply, someone bumped into us, with a muttered, “Sorry, mate,” and Carter seemed to remember where we were. His head came up, and he glanced around us. I could see indecision playing across his face, and then he seemed to come to a decision. Letting go of me, he stalked over to a door off to the side of the foyer, throwing it open.
“Get out,” he commanded to whoever was inside, and the next minute a couple walked out, the guy zipping up the fly of his jeans and the girl straightening her hair, her lipstick smudged around her mouth. The guy gave me a curious look, but the girl blushed, rushing out of the foyer to the outside.
Once they were gone, Carter crooked a finger at me, a smirk playing across his lips as I walked over to him on shaking legs. Closing the door behind me, he locked it. “Idiots didn’t even bother locking the door,” he muttered with an eye-roll, presumably talking about the couple who had just left. Once he returned to me, he lifted my hand and pried the keys from my grip, tossing them on the desk at the side of the room, along with his mask. “You don’t need those anymore.”
Okay, then. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I placed it on the desk with my keys, then looked at him, unsure. He grinned at me, a sudden change, pulling a few paint-filled water balloons from his pockets, adding them to the items already on the table. I took him in. Standing there in front of me, his hair all mussed up and his body decorated with splats of paint, he suddenly looked playful. And that smile…his smile. It gave me full-on butterflies.
I licked my lips nervously, backing up against the desk, and he prowled towards me. “Now, where were we? Oh, yeah, you were going to tell me what you wanted.” Planting his hands either side of me, much like he’d done in his bedroom the evening I’d been c
oerced into helping him with his essay, he leaned down so our faces were level. “Are you gonna tell me what you want, Rai?”
My eyes flew to his in shock. “Y-you called me Rai.”
He pressed closer. “I did.”
“What was all that about, earlier?” I finally gathered the courage to ask the question that I really, really needed an answer for.
“Anastasia.” His face hardened, and I stared at him.
“What?”
“I can’t say for sure, but I have my suspicions that she might have been behind the money theft.”
“What?” was all I could repeat.
“Yeah. She…she didn’t take it well when I left her, and I think she sees you as a threat.” His eyes met mine, the gold flecks sparking. He licked his lips. “She’s tried to scare off other girls I’m interested in already.”
“You’re interested in me?” I whispered shakily.
His eyes darkened, and he reached up, cupping the back of my head. “What do you think?”
Before I could even formulate a response, he closed the final bit of distance between us, and his lips came down on mine.
The kiss went from zero to a hundred in the space of about two seconds. Eventually I tore myself away, breathing shakily, my lips swollen. He stared at me, his eyes black, then lunged forwards again.
“Wait.” With an effort, I held a hand up, pushing at his chest. A frown appeared on his face, and I rushed to continue. “I haven’t forgiven you for the way you treated me.” He tried to shut me up with a kiss, but I ducked away, fumbling behind me. My hand closed over the water balloon. “Show me your body.”
“That’s supposed to be a punishment, is it?” Without any hesitation, he pulled off his T-shirt in one swift movement, and my breath caught in my throat as I raked my gaze over his hard lines. “Like what you see?” A smirk tugged at his lips.
Before I could second-guess myself, I slammed the paint-filled balloon onto his chest. It burst on impact, spraying us both with bright blue paint.