by Elouise East
“I know what you mean, yeah.”
“Darren is a personal trainer. It was his job, after all. I didn’t think anything of it. After my third visit, he asked me out. I said yes.” Craig smiled.
“What were your first impressions of him?”
“Big!” Craig snickered and bit his lip to contain his smile. “He was muscular, tall, had that Dwayne Johnson look going.”
Amanda grinned. “Nice.”
“Right? Our first date, he took me to Romano’s. You know, the Italian place?”
“Yeah, I know it. The food is amazing.”
“It is!” Craig smiled again. “He spoiled me rotten. Took me on date after date. Sometimes a stroll in the park, sometimes a picnic. Oh, he took me on a boat on the River Cam once.” Craig paused, smile diminishing. “I felt cherished. Loved.” He frowned, staring at Amanda. “Was it all a lie?”
“Did it feel like a lie?”
Craig paused. “Not while I was living it.”
“And now?”
“I’m debating every hour we ever had together. Was it abuse? Did I ask for it? Why did I not see what we had become?” Craig inspected the floor.
“I don’t believe you ever asked for Darren to hit you, did you?” Amanda’s voice was quiet in the silence.
Craig shook his head.
“And I don’t believe you are the type of person to bury your head in the sand, either. My thoughts are this. From what you’ve described, your relationship was extremely passionate and reached a high intensity quickly. I don’t believe you had time to truly get to know Darren before your relationship had reached that height. I’m not saying you both weren’t in love with each other. However, I do think Darren had no right to lay a hand on you at any point through your relationship.” Amanda rested the notepad back on the table next to her, uncrossed her legs and leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees and linking her fingers. “We can work through this, Craig. Figure out what you want to know…need to know. You are going to need some support. People behind you to help keep you up if you get down.” She paused. “Can you tell me about your family?”
Craig squinted at her, raising an eyebrow. “My parents live in a little place called Danbury, near Chelmsford.”
“Any siblings or cousins?”
“Three brothers. Blake and Aaron are older, Brandon is younger.”
“Your parents had four boys?” Amanda’s eyebrows rose.
“Yeah, all within seven years, too.”
“Brave people.” She snorted.
“Yeah.” Craig had an impromptu sense of homesickness. “They turned their back on me when I continued my relationship with Darren.”
“Continued? Had there been a chance of it ending?” Amanda sat back in her chair, gaze on him.
“Not from my side. My family kept making remarks about Darren—he wasn’t good for me, he was a waste of space, etcetera—Darren was, naturally, getting sick of it, as was I. He tried to break things off with me, but I wouldn’t let my family push us apart. In the end, I stopped returning their calls.” Craig paused. “Hindsight is a wonderful thing, is it not? Surely, their response should have told me something.” He tentatively leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
“Yes, hindsight is a good thing. It enables us to learn from our mistakes and from our achievements.” There was silence until Amanda spoke again, “I think you need to contact your family. You need their support right now, as well as any friends you have. You need to surround yourself with people who don’t expect anything from you.”
“I don’t have any friends.” He tunnelled his hands through his hair.
“Craig, I am your psychologist first, your friend second, but they are closely linked. I need to keep a certain distance to be able to help you. But I won’t turn you away in a time of need. Keep it in mind. You have friends here, new ones, yes, but friends all the same.”
Craig sat back slowly, lowering his hands. “Thank you, Amanda.”
“You’re very welcome. Now let’s figure out when I can see you next.”
They’d arranged the appointment for three days later when a knock sounded.
“Come in!” Amanda called.
Alex entered, smiling. “And how is my patient doing?”
“Our patient,” Amanda corrected with a grin.
“Sorry, our patient.” Alex studied Craig. “Everything okay?”
Craig nodded. “Yeah, all good.”
“Fantastic! Let’s go get you some dinner.” Alex helped Craig to rise from the sofa and stumble to the wheelchair before lowering him slowly to a seated position.
“Thank you, Amanda,” Craig repeated as Alex pivoted them to leave.
“See you in three days, Craig.” Amanda smiled.
Alex pushed him down the corridors and around corners, the police officer keeping pace until they arrived back at his room. Helping Craig back into bed, this time with the back of the bed lifted slightly, Alex nodded. “Right, I’ll be back with your dinner in a few minutes.”
“Thanks.”
Craig watched him leave and sighed, rolling his head towards the overcast skies outside the window. Amanda had asked him if all the memories he had were fake. It would need to be Craig who figured it out unless Darren came out and said, “No, it was all a lie.”
Craig and Darren entered the supermarket, laughing about seeing a dog bolting down the street, lead streaming behind it, and its owner sprinting after it, shouting. Craig bent to lift a basket, and Darren caught hold of his hand, linking their fingers and bringing their hands up to Darren’s mouth for a kiss. Craig smiled at him, love pouring through his veins at the amazing man beside him. They wandered around, buying the necessary—and unnecessary—groceries while Craig marvelled at the domesticity of it all. The small touches on his lower back, the caresses of a palm against his cheek, the press of lips against his overwhelmed his senses.
It had been the day Craig had asked Darren to move in. They’d been together for six months. Craig had known he was in love with Darren and wanted to spend his life with him. Recently, things had been different.
Darren gathered his wallet and phone, tucking them into his coat pocket. “I’ll be back in an hour or so.”
Craig stood in the lounge and smiled. “Do you want me to come with you? It might be easier with two of us,” he said.
“No, you need to get dinner started.” Darren stalked over to Craig and kissed his cheek. “Five o’clock, remember.”
“Okay.”
Craig had no idea when things had changed, or how he hadn’t seen the difference in their lives from early in the relationship to now. Obviously, all couples went through the head-over-heels phase and settled into their relationship, but this was more than that. Craig had become the househusband, so to speak, and he hadn’t been aware of it until now. It was evident in the more personal side of their relationship. Kisses in the early part had been on the lips—or other parts—but later had moved to his forehead, cheek or jaw. Sex had been face-to-face for the most part in the first few years, now it was Craig’s back to Darren’s chest, be it on their sides or on hands and knees.
Craig couldn’t pinpoint when the changes had happened.
“Are you okay?”
Hearing Alex’s voice startled Craig, and he whipped his head around to the open doorway. He hadn’t heard it open. Alex stood there, holding a tray, waiting.
“Oh, yeah. Yeah. I’m fine. Worn out.” Craig tried to smile but wasn’t sure he succeeded.
“Understandable. Well, you know where we are if you need anything.”
Craig smiled, more genuinely that time. “I know, thanks. And thanks for the food.”
“You’re welcome.” Alex hesitated. “Well, I best leave you to it.” He placed the remote for the bed and the call button for the nurses’ station next to Craig. “In case you need them.” Alex patted the bed and twisted around to leave.
“Thank you, Alex.”
Alex s
pun back around and grinned. “You’re welcome. Enjoy.” He closed the door behind him, leaving Craig to his memories.
Craig sighed and picked up his fork. After munching a few bites of chicken and vegetables even though he wasn’t hungry, he replaced the fork on the tray and pushed it away. He pressed the button to lower the back of the bed and attempted to sleep.
Chapter 14
Alex
Alex left the room, wanting nothing more than to stay, but understanding Craig needed time to process whatever was discussed in the session. Heading to the nurses’ station, he said a quick goodbye to the staff there and strode towards the staff area where he collected his belongings and left the hospital. He desperately needed sleep. He now had two days off, which he would attempt to use to recuperate from the long hours he’d been putting in at the hospital.
Since Craig had arrived, he had been working twenty-four-seven. He couldn’t seem to leave him alone. Not in a creepy way, but in an “I want to help him and protect him” way. Amanda would have a field day with his personality, he was sure, and she would say it wasn’t healthy, given his attraction and Craig’s injuries. Both knew he wouldn’t cross any lines.
Arriving home, Alex stalked to the shower, relaxing when the hot water hit his tense muscles. Not bothering to dry off completely, he dropped on to his bed and crashed.
He sat upright in bed, sweat soaking his body, breathing hard. Alex rubbed a hand over his face, trying to dispel the fear streaming through his veins. Seeing Craig’s lifeless body on the ground was not an image he wanted to relive more than he had to.
Flicking the covers back, he stumbled to the bathroom for another shower, threw on his running gear and left the house.
Feet pounding the pavement, he concentrated on his rhythm instead of his thoughts. Mile after mile flew before him until he veered himself towards home, exhaustion flooding his system. Alex managed another quick shower before real-life interrupted in the form of a phone call from his sister, demanding his presence for lunch.
He entered the little bakery café five minutes later than Ella’s requested time and sauntered to the table. Alex kissed her cheek, then Danny’s and sat opposite them. There was already a coffee waiting on his side of the table.
He sipped the brew, eyes closing at the caffeine hit. “Thanks. I needed that.”
“You’re welcome.”
Alex could sense her gaze on him, although his eyes were fixed on his cup. “What?”
“I’m worried about you.”
“You don’t need to be.”
“I’m your sister. I’m always worried about you,” she retorted.
He chuckled. Alex watched as she wiped Danny’s face clean—the chocolate biscuit he’d had on his face more than in his stomach—and pinned him with her gaze.
“What’s going on, Alex?” She placed a few toys on the table in front of Danny before wrapping her hands around her mug.
Alex sighed. “Fuck it. I’m breaching all kinds of protocol here, but you’re right. I’m worn out and need someone to talk to. You’re it.” He pointed a finger towards her and slumped back in his seat, the fingers of one hand fiddling with a sugar packet.
“I’m fine with that. What’s happening?” Ella picked up a toy Danny had dropped on the floor.
“The case I’m working on…although technically I suppose I’m not working on it now. The guy, Craig, is a victim of domestic abuse.”
“Oh, Alex.”
“I know. I didn’t expect this to drop right in front of me, but Craig…he’s a nice guy. He doesn’t deserve what’s happened to him.”
“Most people don’t deserve it. Why is Craig different?”
“Who said he’s different?” He always forgot how astute she was.
“You didn’t need to. I could tell from your expression and your voice.” She leaned forward, covering his hand with hers. “Don’t get too attached, Alex. Remember what happened last time,” she added quietly.
Alex glanced out of the window, staring at memories long past before locking gazes with Ella again. “I know. Craig’s different.”
“Exactly. But why is he different? What makes him different from the ass…” she trailed off, glancing at Danny, “…guy who made your life hell before?” She sat back, crossing her arms.
Alex glanced at his hands. Ella asked a good question, and he was reminded of his earlier thought about Amanda having fun with his personality. It was natural for him to want to help people—he wouldn’t be a doctor if he didn’t want to. But occasionally, the assistance needed was beyond what he could provide, and it left a sour taste in his mouth. Grayson had been…a disaster, in all honesty.
“Craig has a strong personality.” At Ella’s raised eyebrows, he continued, “He has. From what the police have found out and from what Craig has described, the abuse seems to have come on slowly. Craig wholeheartedly loved this man, believing what happened to him was the best thing for him, that the man was showing him he cared.”
“And that makes him strong?”
“No. His ability to face up to people who piss him off makes him strong.” Alex’s teeth clamped on his lower lip, and he fought a smile. “You should have seen him stand up to me when I did a home visit.”
“You did a home visit? What for?” Ella stared at him as if he’d grown horns.
Alex cleared his throat, squinting at the table. “Telling you about this isn’t the sole rule I’ve broken with Craig.”
“Alex.” A wealth of emotion was poured into his name. “Is this guy worth risking your career?”
Alex paused, gazing at Ella. “I think he might be.”
“Wow.” She sat back in her chair, staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. “Is your attraction to Craig because of who he is…or are you mistaking attraction for wanting to protect him?”
Alex’s phone started ringing before he had a chance to answer her loaded question. Fishing it out of his pocket, he answered without checking.
“Alex?” Logan’s voice filled his ear.
“Logan? What’s wrong?” Alex sat up straight in his chair, pulse increasing as panic flooded his system.
“Everything’s fine, Alex. Calm down.” Logan sounded calm himself, allowing Alex to relax some. “Darren has been taken into custody again.”
“What? Why?”
“A neighbour called about a disturbance at Craig’s house. When we arrived, Darren was there, trashing the place. As he was supposed to stay away from the property as well as Craig, we arrested him. He won’t be coming out before the court hearing now.”
Alex sighed in relief. It was one less thing Craig had to worry about now.
“I’m about to tell Craig what’s happened.”
“Okay. I’ll be there—”
“No. I’d prefer it if you didn’t come this time.” Logan stopped Alex’s words.
“Why?” Alex frowned at the table.
“Because I want to try and get more information from Craig, and he seems to withhold more when you are present.”
Alex blew out a breath. “Fine.” He wasn’t happy about it, but he understood where Logan was coming from. Although why he believed Craig withheld stuff, he didn’t know. “Please keep me posted.”
“If I can, I will.” Logan signed off, and Alex stared at the phone in his hand before Ella’s voice brought his attention back to her.
“Everything okay?”
Alex sighed. “Yeah. Craig’s abuser had been taken back into custody because he trashed Craig’s house.”
“Oh no!” Ella’s hand covered her mouth.
“Logan said he’s going to speak to Craig now.”
“Do you have to go?”
“No.” Alex rubbed his hand over his face. “Logan thinks it would be best if I stay away for the time being. He says Craig doesn’t open up as easily when I’m there.”
They were quiet while Danny played with his toys until Ella asked if Alex wanted lunch.
“May as well. I have nowhere I
need to be.”
“Thank you, Alex. We love spending time with you, too.” A disgruntled Ella was a snarky one.
“Sorry, Elles-Belles.” Her childhood nickname came out without warning, making them laugh.
“Stop!” She giggled. “I thought we’d buried that name.”
“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean for it to come out.” Alex snorted as he tried to calm himself. “Anyway, how are things with you?”
“Good. I’ve never felt better. I’m hoping it will last.” She rifled through the bag at her side before producing a sippy cup for Danny and passing it to him.
“You didn’t have any problems with Danny. Hopefully, you’ll be fine.” Alex knew it wasn’t always the case, every pregnancy was different after all.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, and no doubt you haven’t spoken to Mum and Dad lately…” She raised her eyebrows in question to which he shook his head. “They want a second honeymoon in Italy.”
It was Alex’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “Why?”
“Erm, how about because they’ve been married for nearly forty years!” Ella sighed and rolled her eyes at him, exasperation clear in her sarcasm.
“Okay, okay! So, they’re planning a trip, are they?”
“Yeah, they’re researching it. I think we should pay for it as an anniversary gift. What do you think?” She placed an open box of raisins in front of Danny, who had started whinging and throwing his toys to the floor. Alex was always overwhelmingly impressed when Ella automatically did things like that, seemingly without thought. Whenever he had babysat the bugaboo, Alex had to have a list so he knew what he could and couldn’t do or give to him, despite being a doctor. He assumed knowledge came with parenthood.