Seeking Solace
Angelina’s Restoration
Love in the Dark Book 2
Written by:
USA Today Bestselling Author
Chelsea Camaron
Copyright © Chelsea Camaron 2018
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of Chelsea Camaron, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976.
This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Thank you for downloading/purchasing this ebook. This ebook and its contents are the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied, and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download/purchase their own copy at Smashwords.com. Thank you for your support.
1st Edition Published: July 26, 2018
Editing by: C&D Editing and Asli Fratarcangeli
Cover Design by: Cassy Roop of Pink Ink Designs
Cover Model: Lindsay Michelle
Cover Photographer: Furious Fotog
This book contains mature content not suitable for those under the age of 18. Involves strong language and sexual situations. All parties portrayed in sexual situations are adults over the age of 18.
All characters are fictional. Any similarities are purely coincidental.
Also in This Series:
Stay
Seeking Solace: Angelina’s Restoration
Reclaiming Me: Fallyn’s Revenge
Song on repeat for this book:
What’s Left by 3 Doors Down
Check it out and the entire Stay Playlist on Spotify!
Make sure you have read book one in the Love in the Dark trilogy before starting this novel.
STAY
Why doesn’t anyone ever STAY?
Fair Warning … This isn’t a sappy romance. It’s not sweet. It’s far from anything you would want to imagine. This is a story to leave you feeling dirty.
Are you willing to stay the course all the way to the end?
Nothing about us is normal.
Nothing about us is natural.
Can love ultimately be defined in such ways, truly?
This is our story.
He is a hit man, the very one who took my family the night that changed us both forever. Something in my eyes stopped him from killing me. Something in my eyes called out for him to take me.
At ten, he captured me. At fifteen, he consumed me. And at eighteen, he owned me.
Outsiders think he’s my father … That is so far from the truth.
Our twisted desires fuel the darkness that lies deep inside us both. My innocence never existed, and he takes me as I am.
Seeking Solace: Angelina’s Restoration
The fork in the road in front of me screamed to go right.
Giano gave me life.
I gave him death.
The path to peace inside of me was covered in his blood.
Instead of going right, I veered left into the depths of a world unknown.
Reclaiming Me: Fallyn’s Revenge
My name was tainted in death.
Giano was my way out, my escape.
A debt paid in full with his blood.
Freedom from my destiny had a special allure … except revenge was a temptation I couldn’t resist.
My father’s dark underworld was mine to claim. I would do anything to be the real me again. Love and life be damned!
Preorder today!
Note from the author
What can I say? This series is unlike anything you have read before. If you’re reading this and haven’t read book one – Stay, stop right now and go grab that one. Yes, it has a harsh opening, but life isn’t always roses and sunshine. This book will not make sense if you haven’t read Stay and I don’t want to recap all of Stay for the readers who have read it boring them with repetitive information rather than getting on with the story.
This series is not for the faint of heart. Truly, if you read for a happily ever after with a Prince Charming or some form of redeemable characteristic in your hero, this is not the book for you. This book is not about a hero or an anti-hero. This trilogy is about telling a story, a raw story.
Truthfully, it’s not even about romance, while love is prevalent through the story. This is a story about a woman’s fight. This is a story about survival, endurance, and overcoming. This book is about a woman who cannot and will not be broken.
The series will conclude with your happily ever after, but I make no promises that you will get what you expect; nor is there anything redeemable, nice, soft, sweet, or remotely charming about the hero as you begin.
Originally, in Stay there were two epilogues—you could choose your ending. My original thought was to end it at the last chapter; however, I didn’t want to leave the reader with no hope, so there were two endings for you to decide Fallyn’s fate. After many requests and a lot of thought, I decided both Fallyn and Angelina’s personalities deserved to get a true ending—a full book each. So Stay went from a stand-alone story to book one in a truly unique trilogy. I assure you if you stay with me through each book you will find that everything will work itself out as it should be for a fictional world. Welcome to Angelina’s Restoration.
Please understand, this is a work of complete fiction. Nothing is meant to be believable as this is a truly dark and daunting story.
To every reader who fell in love with Stay in its original form, thank you for supporting me as I spread my wings and went out of my comfort zone. The Love in the Dark Trilogy exists for each of you.
If you’re new to this series, well hold on for one truly fucked up ride in life.
Much Love,
Chelsea
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Sneak Peek Reclaiming Me: Fallyn’s Revenge
About the Author
Additional Works by Chelsea Camaron
Excerpt from Cartel Bitch (Almanza Crime Family Duet Book 1)
CHAPTER ONE
My mother used to say, “It was a man’s world and we merely lived in it.”
I didn’t buy into her way of thinking in the least bit. The older I got the more it pissed me off, frankly speaking.
My childhood, the early developmental years were the things people only saw on the news and imagined in their worst nightmares. Me, I lived it, and my mother, she bore witness to it all.
Even as a young girl, I knew she was everything I never wanted to become. I was determined to be a strong woman and not the shell of a human being she was. After the things she allowed to happen to me, and even participated in, there was no looking up to her for anything. She was certainly not anyone to leave a good impression on anyone. She was everything a hero or role model was not made of.
She was anything but a mother. Sometimes I even thought of her a
s an equal monster to my father. That said a lot since the man violated me in the worst of ways for many long nights. Children weren’t supposed to endure the things I had. They weren’t supposed to feel what I had felt. They weren’t supposed to be damaged by the people who gave them life. That was me as Fallyn Nicola Valencia.
Thinking about my childhood before becoming Angelina was painful.
I had only one ray of sunshine in my life before Angelina and he was taken from me all too soon.
Papa Valencia. He was the only good in my existence as Fallyn.
Papa Valencia always told me I could rule the world. I was only limited by what my mind would tell me. “Believe nothing of what you hear, unless you had first-hand experience,” he would say. “Be in control of your thoughts, for they guide you, and you must not tread down the dark paths of lies and deceit. Be mindful of your actions, for in our actions we show the world whom we truly are.”
Those were words I believed in. He was a man I believed in when I thought the world was a horrible place. Papa Valencia was all things good while my life and existence drowned in all things bad.
The mind was an interesting thing. For in the depths of our mind lay every secret, every fear, and every dream.
I had plenty of time to spend inside my head. The first year after I came to live with Giano I spent learning, studying, and time with just my thoughts and emotions. He did the best he could, but there were countless hours I spent alone with the feelings in my heart and fears circling my head. I remember wondering if I was going from one Hell to another.
Giano, though, he provided me a safe haven and it was far from Hell.
In the last seventy-two hours, my world had crumbled. Everything I thought would be was no more. Every hope I had for a future, for love, and for so much more evaporated into thin air.
“I crossed a line with you last night. I shouldn’t have done that, Angel.” Giano’s words played over and over again in my mind. They trampled over my heart, each syllable became another dagger driven into my very soul.
“In your eyes, I saw my angel.” He saw me as a gift. He gave me life.
The way he felt about himself killed me because I didn’t see him that way. He was my savior. Why didn’t he understand that?
“I’m a very bad man, Fallyn. I have done very bad things. Saving you was the only redeeming thing I have ever done in my entire life, a life that has cost me everything.”
The words sliced into me.
I cost him everything. For the gift I gave him was not redemption as he saw it.
No, Giancarlo Diamante truly gave me everything.
He gave me freedom from the man who wished me harm.
He gave me safety in the walls of his home and in his heart, unlike my own parents, he gave me all things good.
He gave me hope in a hopeless situation.
While I let life take and take from me, Giano was the person who came along and gave everything back to me. Hit by hit, blow by blow, whatever life threw at me I took it. Never did I question it, but rather, I counted down time.
For when I was young, time was not my friend. I needed it to pass. I would count it away. Desperately, I counted the seconds of agony waiting for the mess to signify I could have a reprieve from the pain once again. While my father lay over me doing unspeakable things, I didn’t fight, but instead I counted. If I could turn back time, I would do so many things differently. Except I can’t, and I can only hold onto what I have endured. Back then, I wished the clock to pass the time quicker and quicker because life for me was not worth living until I could get out of that home. I was a survivor.
Under the blanket of night, my life secrets were exposed. In a moment of agony, an angel was sent to save me. While blood covered his hands, it covered my soul. We were forever bonded in this dirty moment. I was covered in filth.
He should have killed me. Anyone else would have. Instead, he took me away and gave me a future I never could have imagined.
I had hope that night as we pulled away from my parents’ home. For the first time in my life, I had excitement for what the future may hold. That wasn’t normal, but that was my existence before Giano: hopeless. While I had fears about what would come next, my fears didn’t override my desire to escape where I came from.
Then he took me to his house. He shared his life, his world, his daughter with me. Everything he lost, he handed over to me on a silver platter. In his grief he found a way to give me a second chance. It was a truly self-less act. A gift I would forever cherish.
As time passed, I found freedom and happiness in Giano’s home. I wasn’t counting away the seconds of my life anymore. Rather, I found pleasure in the moments. Even the small things like late night warm milk to settle my nerves into a peaceful slumber were things I didn’t want to pass so quickly anymore. Except the good times moved just as quickly as the bad.
Oh how I wished I could turn back time. How I could change things between us.
As the time I spent with him passed, I saw something that wasn’t there. I let the seed of fantasy plant root in my mind, in my heart. I let that sprout, grow and bloom. I let it flourish instead of letting it starve. I fed myself my own realities and let everything spiral out of control. Not for one moment did I think of him and what my carnal cravings might mean to him or do to him.
The old saying about controlling your thoughts because they become actions truly described how my situation spun out of control. I didn’t keep my thoughts in a safe zone for Giano and me. Instead, I let them fester and grow out of control into a wild fantasy. Then that wasn’t enough and I went out of my way to make fantasy become reality.
For Giano gave me everything he could, and yet, I still asked for more.
Instead of having a thankful and gracious heart, I pushed on with my own desires in mind. He gave me nothing but kindness and love. In return, I took it all. I took everything he was willing to give and more. I pushed him beyond what he was capable of. I cost him everything.
When it was all said and done, I gave him death.
“Angel,” Alanzo said from the other side of the bedroom door.
I didn’t bother to reply. Instead, I remained in place in Giano’s bed as I had been for the last two days. Alanzo tireless worked to clean out my bedroom of any evidence. The banging was endless. I didn’t go help him. I couldn’t. He didn’t bring anyone else in to help him either. It had to be a daunting job, but he never once lashed out at me. He gave me space.
He reminded me regularly we needed to talk. In my mind, I knew he was right, but it didn’t mean I was anywhere near ready.
Still, I remained in place. I tucked myself away in Giano’s bed surrounded in his smell, his strength, and covered by his soul.
“Angel, we must discuss what comes next. I know what Giano’s wishes were, but I need to know if you’re in line with those.”
Do as he wished, I wanted to say. The words, though, they remained firmly lodged in my throat.
Alanzo opened the door and walked into the room. He stood at the end of the king-sized bed staring at me. His eyes were filled with sorrow. His face was soft with sympathy.
“Angel, I know you’re hurting. I am too. But Giano, he wanted things for you.”
I nodded my head because I knew all of this so there was no point in arguing.
“We have connections to make his death look natural. There are insurance policies and he can be buried beside his wife.”
“And daughter,” I croaked out the words slicing my heart in two all over again.
Alanzo nodded, but didn’t speak in any attempt to correct me. “He has provisions for you, but first, Angel we must pay our respects to the man who gave us both a second chance at life.”
I didn’t know Alanzo’s history with Giano. I only knew him as a man who was trusted and respected.
Respect.
It meant everything in our culture.
Papa Valencia always told me, “It’s not about the respect a man has for you, but
the respect you have for yourself Nicola. For if a woman or a man has the highest respect for themselves they will demand it of others. Carry yourself with dignity and be unshakable.”
Truer words had never been spoken. Giancarlo Diamante was a man who held himself with respect. He had a code and no matter the circumstance he would not cross those lines. When he gave into me, he broke his code and gave himself the same punishment he would have anyone else.
It had been a lot to process.
The why behind him taking his life. I didn’t want to see it for what it was. I couldn’t fathom.
Making love to Giano was a dream come true. He was a gentle and generous lover. For my first time, he made it extraordinary. What I saw as a night that had been building through years of love, devotion, and protection … he saw as unforgivable.
The mind was a fickle thing. It was a tormenting place where I couldn’t escape my own self. Part of me wanted to put the blame on my young mind, body, and inexperience. This deep routed thing inside of me said I disgusted him. Instead of owning that I crossed a line emotionally as well as physically, I wanted to wallow in my lack of sexual expertise. As a lover I had failed him and pushed him over the edge. I wasn’t good enough for Giano to stay.
For in the end, he left me, didn’t he?
CHAPTER TWO
The clouds were overcast creating this gray atmosphere. It matched my mood: dull. I was numb at this point.
It took some coaxing but after five days locked in Giano’s room living on water and small bowls of oatmeal that Alanzo started leaving for me I came to a decision: I had to respect Giano’s wishes. I couldn’t give him life, but I could respect him in his death.
For the first two days of my recent hiatus from life, I didn’t eat, I laid in his bed, used his bathroom, drank water from the sink, and let the sorrow consume me. I was gone to life.
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