by Abbi Glines
When I finally laid down in bed, sleep came fast. Faster than normal.
Luckily, I wasn’t so exhausted that I slept past six, when I was supposed to be up. My stomach was growling when I opened my eyes and I figured that was what had woken me. With a good long stretch, I wiggled my feet. They were still sore but better after rest. The idea of putting the too small shoes back on made me grimace. It was early and no one would be awake until at least nine. I could head upstairs in my socks. My breakfast would be so much more enjoyable if my feet weren’t cramped up.
I dressed quickly, pulled my hair back in a ponytail, brushed my teeth and headed for the stairs. This was my favorite time of day. It was the only time I had to myself that I could enjoy. Now that Jasper and his friends were here for the summer I’d look forward to my early mornings even more. Especially if yesterday was any indication of how he planned on spending his summer.
Portia had bragged about Jasper to her friends that visited, and acted like him being home was a wonderful thing. Then he’d arrived and it all changed. She completely changed. The woman who had been distant and unfeeling seemed scared of her son. That made no sense to me. I was missing something and I wanted to know what.
Before I walked into the kitchen, I heard a cabinet close. Who the heck was in there this early? Portia didn’t stir until after ten o’clock on most days. I doubted she’d ever seen six in the morning. Ever. In her life.
I peeked around the corner to find a girl with messy dark brown hair. A large guys T-shirt was the only thing covering her body. She was on her tiptoes looking in the cabinets. I assumed she was one of Jasper’s guests from last night. Which meant I had to help her. She was ruining my quiet morning.
“Can I get you something?” I asked as I walked all the way into the kitchen.
She dropped to the flats of her feet and spun around to look at me. “Oh. It’s you. Yeah, I need some coffee and food. I’ve got work in an hour. Do you know how to call a cab around here?”
Work? She worked? “Uh, I don’t know about a cab but you could Google it on your phone. I’m sure you could use an app for a car service too. Those come here.”
She sighed. “Yeah, that’d be great if I had a phone with an app, and those car services require bank cards attached to them, and I don’t have one of those either. I have ten bucks. And that ten bucks has to get me to my apartment so I can get dressed.”
This girl didn’t sound like one of Jasper’s friends. At least, not one of the Ivy league, trust fund types I’d met so far. It was interesting that she was here.
Unable to help myself I asked, “Where do you work?”
She walked over to the fridge. “I nanny for Auden Elswood’s younger siblings. His father’s second wife is twenty-seven and they have two-year-old twin terrors. A boy and girl. That’s how I know this crowd since you’re obviously trying to figure me out. Now could you point me to food?”
“Oh, yeah. I was going to make myself some eggs and bacon. You want some?”
She shook her head. “Don’t have time. A muffin maybe? And a cup of coffee to go?”
I walked over to the pantry and found the bakery muffins that Portia sometimes nibbled on with her coffee in the morning. Stepping out, I handed it to her and went over to make the coffee.
“Thank you. I’m so damn hungry.”
“You’re welcome,” I replied.
“I’m Shay by the way. I saw you working last night. Thought it looked about as sucky as my job. But then you get to see Jasper every day, so that’s a perk. I hear he’s an amazing fuck.”
Opening the cabinet where there were less expensive coffee cups, I reached in and took one down. There were no disposable cups here but this one wouldn’t be missed. I didn’t really want to discuss Jasper or his sex life. I preferred to ignore that comment.
“Do you have a name?”
I was being rude and she was the friendliest person I’d met here yet. “Beulah.”
Shay scrunched her nose. “Weird name.”
I nodded. Because I agreed. I’d never much cared for my name. But now my mother was gone and I didn’t complain anymore. It was something no one could take away from me.
“That was rude. Sorry. I just say stuff. I have no filter,” Shay said quietly.
“No, it’s okay. It is an odd name. My mother gave it to me, and now that she’s gone I cherish it.”
Shay winced. “Damn, I really am sorry. I should work on that. I didn’t know my mom. Or my dad. G-maw raised me—that was what we called the older lady in the foster home where I lived for twelve years. She passed away just before I turned eighteen. Cancer got her. She smoked every day.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
Shay grinned. “About my suck life or G-maw passing?”
“Both,” I replied honestly.
“Me too. But don’t sound or look like your life is peaches either. We’re making it fine enough though. Could be worse. Always could be worse. Anyway, I gotta go. I’ll walk until I figure out the cab thing. Someone may give me a ride. Nice talking to you and thanks for the coffee and muffin.”
Then she headed for the door. In a T-shirt. Only a T-shirt.
JASPER’S GUESTS DIDN’T COME INSIDE for breakfast.
People began to wake outside on lounge chairs, and stumbled out of the pool house slowly. Before lunch, the place had cleared out. Portia had drunk two cups of coffee and watched the exodus from the living room with a frown.
She ate a bowl of fruit, then finally gave me the go ahead to leave. I had three hours to see Heidi.
She didn’t want to explain to Jasper where I had gone if he came inside asking for food, or washed clothing or decided on having another party. My mother’s 1998 Honda Civic still ran with almost two hundred thousand miles on it. I kept it parked in the spot that Ms. Charlotte had kept her car. If I hadn’t needed the little bit of gas I had left to see Heidi today I would have offered to give Shay a ride. But my fuel was precious. I was given just enough a month in gas money from Portia to drive back and forth once a week to Among the Spanish Moss, the special needs home where Heidi lived now.
My time to see her was limited today, so I didn’t make my stops to say hello to the other residents I’d come to know. I did stop by the nurse’s desk to drop cupcakes off for all of them. I had made them before Jasper had gotten home and had stashed them away. I normally made cookies every week and brought them. It wasn’t much but I wanted to bring them something as a thank you for being so good to Heidi. They seemed to love their jobs and were good with the residents.
“Beulah, I’m so happy to see you. There is a girl that woke up extra early and has been making her rounds telling everyone you were coming today. She’s excited.”
Heidi was a socializer. She liked to visit all her friends and talk to the nurses. Staying in her room or the activity room wasn’t enough for her. She didn’t sit and watch television much. Although she did enjoy the craft sessions they set up for them every day. She liked anything involving glitter. The shinier she could make something the better. It couldn’t sparkle enough for her.
“Where is she now?” I asked, anxious to see her.
“Oh, she’s in her room. Wearing her purple dress with the glitter flowers on it that she loves so much. She wouldn’t wear it yesterday because she said you weren’t coming so she was too sad to wear it. But don’t worry. She ended up going outside and playing after her sulk was over.”
I’d make up for that the best I could. I had three cupcakes left for Heidi, May, and me. We would walk out to the lawn and watch the ducks at the pond while we ate our cupcakes and they told me all about their week.
Before I reached Heidi’s door it swung open, and out bounced Heidi.
“Is Beulah—” she started to ask loudly to anyone that heard her in the hallway then paused when she saw me. Her face lit up and the smile I loved spread brightly. “Beulah!” she cried gleefully, and then ran to me.
I sat the bag that held the cupcake
s on the ground beside me just in time to catch her as she threw her arms around me. In all my life, no one had ever been as excited to see me as Heidi. She was always excited to see me.
“Hey, beautiful! I missed you yesterday,” I told her hugging her back just as tightly.
“I missed you,” she said still clinging to me. “We played ball and I had a cookie. Chocolate chip.”
“Your favorite kind! That’s wonderful. Did May have one too?” I asked.
“Yes, she ate three but don’t tell. She wasn’t s’posed to.” Heidi was whispering loudly.
I knew the nurses wouldn’t care about the three cookies, but I went along with her serious expression. “Okay. I won’t say a word. Our secret.”
She nodded. “Locked it up an throw away the key,” she said making the motion like she was locking up her lips.
“Done,” I assured her. “I have a treat. Where’s May? I brought her a treat too.”
At the word treat, Heidi beamed again. All seriousness gone. “A treat! What kind?”
“The best kind.”
“Oh boy,” she said clapping. Then called toward the nurse’s station. “Beulah brought me a treat!”
They all smiled and nodded.
She grabbed my hand and tugged, leading me toward the activity room. “May is making paper dolls. I was waiting on you,” Heidi explained plainly as we walked into the large room full of round tables filled with crafts.
The staff would have crafts set up for another hour, then it would change to board games for two hours, then coloring sheets, and then they would have instruments to play at the end of the day. Soothing classical music filled the room now, and residents talked and worked on their projects. May was sitting at a round red table studying the paper doll in her hands with intensity.
“I see her,” Heidi exclaimed like that was the best news of the day and hurried to May calling her name.
May looked up and saw me. Her smile was as bright as my sister’s. Heidi got to her and whispered in her ear. She knew better than to announce to the room that I had treats for them. Everyone would want one too. I wished I could afford to bring them all treats. One day, I’d get my degree and I’d have a career, and Heidi would move back in with me. We’d continue to visit and bring everyone treats.
May dropped her paper doll and they both came running back in my direction. “I told her,” Heidi said. “Let’s go see the ducks.”
I let them lead the way and May gave me a shy smile and hug. She was quieter than Heidi. I knew her life had been more different than my sister’s. She wasn’t comfortable receiving love the way Heidi was. She was nervous. I tried to show her with every visit she could trust me. She was learning that I would accept her hug and give her one back.
The sun was beautiful and warm today. We found a nice shady spot, the girls got comfortable and then I handed them each a cupcake before taking mine and joining them. They both giggled with delight at the sight of the cupcakes.
I’d used ingredients from Portia’s pantry to make them. Ms. Charlotte had left a lot of baking supplies behind. Portia never requested baked goods, so I used them to make things to bring to Heidi, May and the nurses. I hoped by the time the supplies ran out, I would have enough money to afford to restock.
They loved the cookies, and occasional cupcakes. One week, I’d made Rice Krispy treats. Then once I’d made brownies, but we were out of chocolate now. So I was making sugar cookies with sprinkles most of the time.
“This is the best cupcake I evah had,” May told me licking her lips.
“Beulah is the best cooker,” Heidi bragged. “Momma taught her and me to cook a lot. I can cook too.”
May’s eyes went wide with amazement even though Heidi had told her this story many times. And it was true. Momma had always let us help her with dinner. When there was extra money she’d make us sweets. I’d learned more from her than just baking and cooking skills. I’d learned how to love. Mom was the best teacher.
“I THOUGHT WHEN YOU SAID you were ready to take over your position at the corporation that you’d go to Boston, Chicago, or even New York for the summer. I didn’t expect you to come here and bring all these people. You can’t expect them to take you seriously at Van Allan Industries if you’re having topless parties every day. They aren’t just going to respect you because your father named you CEO at his death.”
I paused. Portia was talking, and although I hadn’t walked into the back yard yet, I knew it was Jasper she was talking to. I didn’t realize Van Allan Industries was now his. He was . . . not ready for that. From the little bit I’d experienced from him, I couldn’t imagine the tall glass building in Manhattan known as Van Allen Industries was now the responsibility of a spoiled, partying, twenty-one-year-old.
“Don’t recall asking you what you thought, Mother. Neither did my father. But then you were so busy fucking the tennis pro at the club you weren’t paying attention to the will and Dad’s last-minute changes. So, while you waste your breath telling me what I can and can’t do, remember this is mine. All of it. Dad didn’t care what happened to his unfaithful wife at his death. He had time to change his mind. But he didn’t.”
I backed away from the room. This was not my business. Wow! Their conversation was shocking though. It was not a subject I expected to hear them discuss. Jasper was cold. Angry and cold toward his mother. If she’d been having an affair, I understood his hurt. Especially since his father had died of a heart attack. But the complete emotionally detachment in his voice was shocking. He seemed so easygoing and carefree. Looks were deceiving. My mother had always told me that.
“I’m not going to defend myself to you. I am sorry for what I did but there were things in our marriage you knew nothing about. You’re my son. I want you to succeed. That is all this is about. It’s all I’m trying to say.”
He laughed and it was a hard laugh. It wasn’t real. I couldn’t see his face, but the sound made me shiver. “You worry about your tea parties, tennis matches, and shopping trips. I’ll handle everything else. Don’t give me advice. You’re not anyone I’d take it from.”
There was silence, and then footsteps.
“Jasper, please,” Portia called out, but a door slammed in the distance and I knew he had walked outside to the pool house.
I stood where I was to stay hidden and didn’t move until I heard Portia walk away and enter the house. I waited five minutes before walking to the entrance I always used in the back yard near the kitchen. I didn’t know what this family was like before Alfred Van Allan suffered a massive heart attack and died two days later, but I knew they were completely dysfunctional now. I felt sorry for Portia, although she didn’t sound like she had made wise decisions. I also felt sorry for Jasper because he had obviously been raised to be the man he was. They’d created him.
I had been raised by a woman who luckily put her kids first, above all else. Even before having a social life. I never once saw her date.
“I’d forget all you heard. Wasn’t your business,” the deep drawl I now recognized as Winston’s said from behind me. I was beginning to think he stalked me to catch me off guard and put me in my place. In his stuck-up, conceited world I was the minion he could look down on.
“I’m aware of that. It wasn’t on purpose. I just got home,” I snapped at him.
He gave a small shrug of his left shoulder, sat down on a lounger, then laid back and put his hands behind his head. “But you listened. You could have walked away.”
He was right. I could have. I started to argue that they were blocking my entrance, but it sounded lame even to me.
Instead, I walked away from Winston. I didn’t have to explain myself to him. I wasn’t going to try.
“He won’t keep you. She hired you, which makes him detest you. No matter how appealing you might be.”
That was a fear I was trying not to focus on, but after hearing what I’d just—as he’d pointed out I eavesdropped on—Winston may be right. If he fired me, Heidi and I w
ould be on the streets. How would I keep her fed? I couldn’t afford the home where she lived, or leave her to work a job. Not alone. She couldn’t be left alone. Especially not on the streets.
My head began to pound. I hurried inside to get away from Winston and his threats. I couldn’t lose this job. This job was all I had right now. Working here was keeping Heidi in a safe home. If my mother was friends with Portia, or Portia owed her something, I had no idea what that connection was, but I knew Jasper wouldn’t care. He hated his mother, that much was obvious. He wouldn’t care about helping Heidi or me.
“You’re late,” Portia said as I walked into the house. I was actually early but their talk outside had stalled me. I couldn’t tell her I had overheard them though.
“I’m sorry. Traffic was bad.”
She glared at me. “I did you a favor letting you go today. The least you could do was return on time. I don’t need this from you. You’re the help. The help. Do your damn job and stop acting so damn entitled.” She slammed her glass down on the table causing the liquid to slosh over and drip down onto the floor. “Clean that up. Then get to your duties.”
I nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
She stalked from the room and I hurried to clean up her mess. I understood she was hurting over what her son had said to her. The bitterness and anger that often spewed from her came from that hurt. She’d had an unhappy life. She’d slept with another man. After her husband died, she was left to the mercy of her son. For a woman like Portia who lives in luxury, I imagine the threat of having her lifestyle taken away was tough. It didn’t make her treatment of me all right, of course. But I understood it.
“She’s a bitch, isn’t she?” That was Jasper’s voice. “You don’t have to answer that. I know what you’re thinking. Can’t figure out why you’re here working for her when you could work so many other places. That face—it could get you in many doors.”
I finished wiping up her spilled drink from the floor and stood up to face him. “I hope I never have to use my face to get a job. And this job is just fine. It covers my needs and my feelings aren’t hurt easily.” I hoped that was the right thing to say.