by Abbi Glines
His eyebrows were raised as he looked at me among my piles and said, “I brought lunch. Come in here and help me eat it.”
It smelled incredible and my stomach growled reminding me I hadn’t eaten since early that morning.
Standing, I straightened my shorts and slipped my shoes back on. “Thank you. I was getting hungry. I didn’t think about packing a lunch.”
“Then that works out good for me. I need a lunch date and I bought all this food.”
I wanted to think he’d bought it for me to eat with him, but I knew better. It was very likely he had bought it with other plans that had fallen through.
“How are the pits of hell coming along in there?” he asked me as we stepped into his office and he placed the bags on his desk.
“It’s not that bad,” I told him. “I enjoy it. The organizing. Makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something.”
He gave me a crooked grin that I tried not to stare at. “Not sure what that says about you, Beulah.” He was teasing. I could tell, so I just smiled in response.
The door to his office opened before he finished unloading the bags. It was Stone. Oh joy. Perfect way to ruin lunch.
“You eating in here?” he asked. Again, he was dressed like he was going to a frat party, not to work with Jasper.
“Yes, and there isn’t enough for three. I thought you had a business lunch.”
He shrugged. “It’s over. Not hungry,” he paused and glanced briefly at me. “Just didn’t expect you to be eating in here.” He left out the “with her”, but it was understood in the tone of his voice.
“Better company in here,” Jasper told him, and at that moment, I wanted to kiss Jasper’s face. He had no problem with me. He didn’t think I was below him. Sure, I worked for him but he accepted me as a human. Unlike Stone.
“I’ve got the contract I picked up at lunch today if you want to go over it while you eat.”
I didn’t look at either of them. I kept my eyes focused on the food Jasper was placing in front of me. I felt like I was in the way, like most of the time Stone was around. He managed to make me feel awkward and unwanted.
“I’m going to enjoy my lunch date, and then I’ll look it over. Leave it on the desk.”
Again, the urge to kiss Jasper emerged.
“Date?” Stone asked, his voice sounding displeased as if the word “date” was crude or distasteful.
“Yes, Stone. Date.”
“She’s your employee,” Stone told him as if he’d somehow forgotten.
“Jesus, you can be an ass,” Jasper said with a chuckle. “Can you leave us to our lunch if all you’re going to do is be a dick?”
My phone that never ever rang began to ring. I didn’t have an unlimited calling plan. It was a prepaid phone I kept for emergencies only, or in case Heidi needed me. My heart was already pounding when I quickly jerked it out of my pocket and said, “Hello.”
“Hello, may I speak with Beulah,” the lady on the other end of the line said.
“Yes, this is Beulah.”
“This is Stacy McDavid from Among the Spanish Moss group home and I’m calling because Heidi isn’t well. The doctor just came to see her, and she has the flu. She won’t eat, and she’s crying for you.”
Heidi getting sick was never a good thing. Little things could be harder on her than others. “She had her flu shot. How did she get the flu?” I asked already walking back to the room where I had left my purse. I had to see her.
“It still happens. There are many strains of the flu. The doctor is going to monitor her, and if he feels she needs to be hospitalized he will.”
Hospital? Oh, God. I had to get there. Abruptly, I felt sick.
“I’m on my way. Tell her I’m on my way.”
“I will.”
I ended the call and grabbed my purse, then ran from the room back into the office.
“Heidi is sick. I need to leave.”
Jasper was already standing up, his food forgotten. He grabbed a set of keys off his desk. “I’ll take you.”
He’ll take me? “Why?”
He came around the table, and his hand reached for and was now touching my elbow. “Let’s go. You don’t need to drive upset and you need a friend right now. Think of me as support.”
“What about the meeting in an hour?” Stone asked.
“Cancel it,” was Jasper’s response as he led me out of the office.
“You don’t have to do this. It’s very kind of you but I can get there. I will be fine.”
He shook his head. “No. You’re a mess. I can feel you trembling. I’m going with you. Besides, it’s time I met Heidi.”
Jasper was beautiful. He was kind. He had helped me when I needed someone. All those things had led to the dream I’d had of him. I knew that. But this . . . this act . . . My heart melted and I knew I was in trouble. As hard as I fought it, I knew I was falling in love with him and that was the biggest mistake I could make. But I had no idea how to stop it. Jasper wasn’t the kind of guy you loved.
My heart didn’t seem to get that memo though. It was falling anyway.
WHEN WE WALKED IN THE doors at Heidi’s home, I didn’t stop at the front desk like I normally did. I hurried down the wing of the right hall with Jasper following right behind me.
Heidi still had a private room and all of the private rooms were on the first floor, right wing. One of the reasons I was happy she had that room was it was closer to the activities. She was so social and being stuck on another floor away from everything seemed sad to me.
Her door had a bright yellow sunflower she had made in the activity room from ribbons and burlap hanging on it. When she’d shown it to me last week, she had been so proud of it. They made new door decorations each month here and she always looked forward to what they would make next. I wondered if she had to share her door with her roommate when they moved her to another room. That was a silly thing to worry about right now but I did anyway.
Stopping at her door, I looked up at Jasper. He’d driven here, parked, helped calm me down by listening to what was wrong with her and reassured me that the flu was common. He was sure she’d be okay. This was a good facility and they’d take care of her. All those things were true and I had needed reminding.
Heidi hadn’t been sick since Momma had passed away. This was the first time I would face Heidi being ill without Momma. I’d felt terrified and alone when they called me, and then Jasper had stepped in.
“Thank you,” I said. Those two words weren’t enough for all he’d just done for me. He had no idea how him being there helped.
“You’re welcome,” he said and a small smile touched his too handsome for words face.
“You shouldn’t come in here. You could get the flu,” I pointed out.
His smile turned into a smirk. “I like to live dangerously. Let’s go.”
I didn’t argue. With a nod, I opened the door and went inside.
Heidi’s pale face asleep on the two pillows she required gripped my heart. She looked small right now. I hurried to her side and held her hand with mine. She was warm, but she’d have a fever with the flu.
I thought of all the things Momma did for us when we were sick as kids. What was it Heidi liked best?
“She’ll be full of questions when she wakes up and sees you. Be prepared for anything.”
“I look forward to it. Why don’t you sit down and relax? You’ve been a ball of nerves since you got the call. Sit here and watch her sleep. I’ll go find you coffee and something to eat. You’ve got to be starving by now.”
We never ate our lunch. “Don’t worry about me. Get something for yourself. There are some nice places near here.”
He frowned. “I’m not leaving you to get myself something to eat. I’ll get us both some terrible coffee and a candy bar if that’s all I can find in this place.”
“Okay . . . but that’s an accurate guess. There is a vending machine room to your right and one length of the hall down. They have
terrible coffee and candy bars. I think they have some crackers too, if you want to go that route.”
“I may get crazy and get both,” he said teasingly before he stepped out of the room and left me there.
He could have left here. Gone and enjoyed his lunch. Anyone else would have. But he was staying to eat snack foods and drink bad coffee with me. My heart squeezed again and my eyes suddenly felt damp. I’d never had that. Of course, Momma had always been there. But as far as someone to care and understand about Heidi, there hadn’t ever been anyone else.
Guys had asked me out in high school. I’d dated a few for months at a time, but they never wanted to come to my house. They avoided getting to know my family. It was as if they wanted to pretend that my family didn’t exist. That I didn’t live in a trailer on the bad side of town and my sister didn’t have Down syndrome.
When Heidi started attending school with me I’d pass her classroom and stop to visit her and her classmates. She was always so excited to see me and introduced me over and over again. Not once had any guy I’d dated gone with me to her room. They always made a quick escape. Having Jasper here was nice. Being able to share the most important part of my life with him meant something. And it shouldn’t. I knew I was going to get hurt and he wouldn’t even mean to.
Heidi’s eyes slowly fluttered open and she smiled as she focused on me. I squeezed her hand in mine. “Hello, sleeping beauty.”
“Beulah,” she said in a groggy voice. “You came cause I’m sick.”
I didn’t want her to be scared. “Yes. But you’re going to get all better. The doctor has medicine for you.”
“I want Momma,” she said her smile falling.
I wanted Momma too. Every day that passed I missed her. This was the first time in months Heidi had asked for her.
“I know. If she was here she’d be right by your side. Singing the songs you love in her pretty voice.”
“Why is she in Heaven?”
I had answered this question many times too. I wanted to tell her I didn’t know and it was unfair. That God knew we needed her and he shouldn’t have taken her, but that wasn’t what Heidi needed to hear. That was for me to be angry about.
“Because God thought she’d make a beautiful angel.” That had been my story all along. The one I knew Heidi would love. The one that would make her smile. And just like always, she smiled.
“She’s the prettiest angel in Heaven now.”
“Yes, she is,” I agreed. “And right now, she is watching you, and making sure the doctors take care of you. I bet if you close your eyes and listen closely, you can hear her singing.”
Heidi’s eyes lit up and she looked around the room as if Momma might suddenly appear. How I wish that could happen. “Really?” she asked. Her voice was full of wonder.
“Oh, yes. I close my eyes at night and I listen for her until I fall asleep. Sometimes, right before I doze off, I hear her pretty voice.”
Heidi was listening so intently she didn’t notice the door opening, but I heard it. I knew Jasper was back and her questions would begin. I glanced back at him and he was carrying two vending machine coffees and his pockets were stuffed with junk food. “I brought a friend,” I told Heidi. “He wanted to meet you so he came with me.”
“Jasper, this is my favorite person in the world who also happens to be my sister, Heidi. Heidi, this is my friend Jasper.” I didn’t explain to her he was my boss. That was more than she could figure out at one time. Calling him my friend would make more sense to her.
“Hello, Heidi. It’s nice to finally meet you. Your sister talks about you all the time,” Jasper said as he handed me a cup of coffee.
“You’re handsome like a movie star,” Heidi said, and then blushed. Her already warm cheeks turned an even deeper red.
“Thank you. You’re a beauty just like your sister.”
“Are you going to marry her?” Heidi asked, her eyes wide with wonder.
This was what I expected. Heidi had the idea that all couples got married. The friendship thing didn’t really register to her. Just last week she told me she was going to marry Jimmy, a guy she liked here. Two weeks before she was going to marry Brent.
“Jasper is my friend. Remember how we talked about having friends?” I asked in an attempt to remind her. She was very hung up on the boyfriend thing.
“He looks like a movie star. You should marry him,” she argued.
I laughed then. “Yes, he does, but that doesn’t mean I should marry him.”
She frowned. “I don’t see why not.”
I leaned back in my chair and took a sip of my coffee. Glancing up at Jasper, I saw him grinning and I was relieved he wasn’t panicking. “If I wanted to get married—which I never do, but if I did—I’d definitely be interested in your sister,” Jasper told her.
“You don’t want to get married? Why? You could have babies and play games and eat ice cream.”
He didn’t laugh at that and I had to give him credit. “Those are very true points. But I’m too busy with work. I don’t have time for all the fun things that come with marriage.”
“Do you work on the movies?”
This time I had to bite back my laugher. Heidi was staring up at him completely focused. her flu forgotten.
“I’m afraid not. I work at a very boring job in an office most of the day.”
She seemed displeased by that. “You should go work on Days of Our Lives. It’s my favorite Soap, and the nurses here too. We watch it every day at lunch time. You would be the most handsomest man on the movie.”
Jasper grinned. “I’ll keep that in mind. If this office thing doesn’t work out, that will be my backup.”
She seemed appeased by that and began telling him all about yesterday’s episode. He took a seat beside me and handed me a pack of peanut butter crackers, chocolate donuts and a crispy wafer bar. I reached for the crackers, ripped open the package, and began to eat them.
Heidi talked to Jasper who kept up the conversation. It went from soap operas, to her love for Jimmy, to her best friend May, to pizza day being her favorite day. He seemed happy to talk to her. He even managed to eat the sleeve of bite-sized donuts and the wafer bar while he answered her questions and asked his own.
With each passing minute, I fell more for this man, knowing it could never lead to anything. He was nothing like I’d first assumed. He was going to be a good friend. That much I knew. I’d do anything for him after today.
He spent time with me and my sister, and then sat beside me while the nurse came in to check her vitals.
When visiting hours were up, I kissed Heidi’s forehead and told her I loved her. She told me she loved me too, and that she was going to listen for Momma’s singing tonight. Then she told Jasper to come see her again.
I didn’t know if he would but I knew she’d remember him after this day. And so would the nurses. On our way out, every eye followed him and I was brought back to the reality that he would never belong to me. He had been perfect with Heidi. And I loved him—I knew that now. It was impossible not to.
But he was my boss and would be until my job was done. Then I’d move on in life. The idea made me sad.
Jasper
THE QUIET, EARLY MORNING WAS peaceful. I stood with a cup of coffee I had made for myself and watched the pool ripple with the breeze. It was skimmed and clean right now. That would end though. The party would start in the late afternoon and would last most of the night. Girls would be topless, drinks would be in abundance, and the people I called my friends would surround me.
The parties helped me get by. To forget the bad shit. To remember that this was my life. The one I had been born into. The one my father had left for me. But he had messed up the plans. I had never expected to take over Van Allen Industries this soon. I had plans to travel and enjoy life after graduation, not deal with employees and my mother. Coming back here had been the last thing I had wanted to do.
Now, I was here and I was doing exactly what I’
d planned when I’d faced the fact I had to return. If I didn’t, my mother would ruin me. Nothing had been the way I thought it would be. Stone had agreed to stay to be my support system. He had his own shit to handle, but he knew I needed help facing Portia and this company. He was levelheaded where I . . . wasn’t. I was the dreamer. The one who lost sight of goals to chase new ones.
Glancing back at the house, I wondered if Beulah was awake yet. Just thinking about her made me smile. That wasn’t okay and I knew it. She was smart and as I was learning, pretty savvy. She had more shit to deal with than I did. I still couldn’t figure out why my mother had helped her and Heidi, but I was glad she had. Beulah had become my reason to smile when I got up every morning. That was fucked up and I knew it.
She made my mornings so much better. The past couple of days she’d eaten breakfast with me. We had talked. My going to see Heidi had thawed her where I was concerned and I got to see the real Beulah. She laughed loudly at my jokes. She blushed if I ever complimented her, and now she was relaxed around me.
The problem with all that was I wanted to grab her and kiss her. Touch her. See if she was as sweet tasting as she’d seemed. Damn sweet little thing was messing with my head. I didn’t do relationships of any kind. Ever. And Beulah didn’t do quick, no strings attached fucks. I knew that without asking. She was the kind of girl I never messed with. And still, she’d made her way into my thoughts. She’d become my reason for smiling. And I was fighting it every step of the way.
This party was mostly due to my need to fight this attraction. To keep her at arm’s length. Because she was getting closer every day, and I was letting it happen. I was bringing her coffee at work just to sit and talk to her. I was canceling meetings just for an excuse to eat lunch with her. And I’d taken all those damn files and dumped them on the floor in a huge clusterfuck just to have a reason to give her the money she needed to take care of Heidi. I knew her pride wasn’t going to let me pay her what Portia had been paying her after I overreacted and behaved like a dick.
I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. I was sinking and I had to claw my way out. Tonight, I’d enjoy naked women who plastered themselves to me. I’d probably sleep with a couple at the same time. I would do whatever I needed to get that sweet fucking face out of my head. And God, her smell. I had to forget how good she smelled. Like motherfucking sunshine and honey. Jesus, that was getting to me too.