by A. E. Radley
Hannah had been polite but obviously distant. Her walls were firmly up.
It had hurt a little. Of course it had. She’d put her feelings out there for them both to see, and Hannah in return seemed uninterested.
Alice had two choices. One: go to dinner, smile politely, eat, and dutifully wait for the evening to end before never speaking of it again. Two: demonstrate to Hannah that she was genuinely interested and that she had something to offer the mother and daughter.
She’d gone for option two. Not that she quite knew how to pull that off, but she’d do her very best.
She pulled on a long-sleeved, plunge-neck top in crimson red and returned to the mirror to assess her appearance. She squinted and wondered what Hannah would think. Although she’d only seen the woman a couple of times, she couldn’t get her out of her mind. For some reason, Hannah’s opinion on her appearance mattered in a way that she wished it didn’t.
Alice wished that she could be confident in herself, but her brain didn’t work like that. She wasn’t crippled with anxiety, but she wasn’t self-assured either. That was one of the reasons she hadn’t dated in a while, a niggling lack of belief that anyone would want to be with her.
A few days in quiet Fairlight had highlighted the need for her to get out of her comfort zone or face being single forever. If she hadn’t managed to find anyone to date in Manchester by being a wallflower, the chances of seeing anyone in Fairlight under those circumstances were absolute zero.
Which probably explained why she had pounced on the very first lesbian she had come across. Of course, it helped that she already found Hannah Hall attractive and had wished upon a star that, by some miracle, the woman might be interested in her. When her sexuality had been announced, despite the fact that a schoolyard bully had done so, Alice knew she had to act fast or forever be tied up in knots with nerves.
She looked at her reflection one last time before reminding herself that nothing would change about how she saw herself. She hoped that Hannah would like what she saw and be willing to give her a chance.
* * *
Alice parked her car in the street next to the post office. She took a few seconds to gather some courage and then flung open her car door. She walked to the front door and pressed the intercom.
A few seconds passed and then a buzzing noise sounded. She pushed the unlocked door and entered into a dark, narrow corridor with a steep flight of stairs.
She swallowed down her nerves. She hated narrow stairs. And the dark. A light appeared at the top of the stairwell, and Rosie Hall’s head appeared.
“Hello, Miss Spencer!” she greeted with excitement.
“Good evening, Rosie,” she replied. She gripped the handrail and pulled herself up the stairs.
She carefully placed one foot in front of the other, reminding herself that the chance of falling was very small. Especially with all the care and attention she took to her steps. She tried to appear calm with the whole situation for Rosie’s sake and was pleased when the girl stood to one side to let her into the apartment, seemingly unaware of the near panic attack state she was in.
“You drive a Mini,” Rosie announced the moment she entered the apartment. She stood in a kitchenette that overlooked the street. A small dining table stood against the wall to her right.
“I do.” Alice said as little as possible while she tried to get her breathing under control.
“It’s cute,” Rosie added. She rushed back over to a window and pressed her face to the glass to peer down at the street level.
“Can I take your coat?”
Alice was surprised by Hannah’s sudden arrival behind her.
“Thank you.” Alice shrugged out of the coat.
“Not used to stairs?” Hannah asked as she took the garment, clearly having noticed her short breaths.
“Not a fan of heights,” Alice reminded her.
Hannah looked apologetic. “Oh, yes, well, if the stairs affect you like this, then I’m even more impressed that you managed to get up that ladder.”
“I’m claustrophobic, and I don’t like the dark,” Alice said, she figured she might as well be honest about her many phobias up front.
“Was there a two-for-one deal on fears?” Hannah asked playfully.
“Yes, I love a bargain,” Alice joked back, relieved that Hannah had taken the information in stride. She was also pleased to note that Hannah wore a casual, low-cut top and was sporting a little more makeup than she had on their previous encounters.
She subtly looked around the apartment, trying to take it all in without appearing nosey. It was small and run-down, but homely. The furniture was a little dated, but everything was clean and well presented, with nice accents in the form of cushions and custom paintwork.
“Would you like to see my room?” Rosie asked, appearing right in front of her and staring up at her eagerly. She couldn’t believe this was the girl who had steadfastly refused to speak to her for two whole days of school.
“I’d love to, if that’s okay with your mother?” She turned to Hannah who had hung up her coat and was now preparing food.
“I think you better, before Rosie bursts with excitement.”
Permission granted, Rosie grabbed hold of Alice’s hand and dragged her through the kitchen and living area and into a small corridor and then into her bedroom. There was a single wooden-framed bed which had been painted a light pink, an old-fashioned wardrobe, a tiny desk and chair, and a few shelves. Alice noted that there were not an abundance of toys or cuddly creatures, but there were books and paper and colouring pens.
“These are the books I got from the library this week.” Rosie scooped them up from the shelf and started to lay them on the desk. “These I’ve already read, and these I’ll probably read this weekend.”
“I bet you’ve never had to worry about late fees,” Alice quipped.
“No. It’s twenty-five pence per day, per item,” Rosie told her, all seriousness.
“So, how much would the charge be if all of these books were one day late?” Alice asked, unable to resist the temptation to test Rosie’s skills.
“Two pounds,” Rosie replied in a flash.
“What if half of them were four days late?” Alice asked.
Rosie paused a moment. “Four pounds.”
Fractions and multiplication ticked off, Alice nodded and smiled.
“Have you always been a teacher?” Rosie asked.
“I have, since I graduated.”
“Why did you come to Fairlight?”
“I wanted a change. I used to work in a big city, and I thought it would be nice to work somewhere else.”
“Are you married?”
“No.” Alice chuckled. She was used to the quick-fire interrogation of a child. She found it refreshing compared to the beating around the bush that most adults did.
“Do you have children?”
“A whole class of them.” Alice winked.
Rosie laughed.
“Dinner’s ready,” Hannah called out from the kitchen.
Rosie’s eyes lit up. “We’re having chicken pie and mash.”
“I know, it sounds delicious,” Alice said, remembering Hannah’s sweet text to ask about any allergies or food dislikes.
She followed Rosie from the room, noting only one other doorway in the corridor, which she presumed led to the bathroom. She wondered where Hannah’s bedroom was and if she had missed another doorway at some point. Before she had much chance to think about it, Hannah was pulling out a chair for her and gesturing for her to sit down.
Alice hesitated. “Can I help with anything?”
“It’s fine, can I get you some wine? Juice? Water?”
“Could I have some water? I’m driving.” Alice sat down.
Hannah quickly served plates of food and drinks, and they started to eat.
“So, did Rosie show you her books?” Hannah asked.
“She did. I think you’ll need another trip to the library soon,” Alice co
mmented.
“Or the school library,” Rosie said. “There’s lots of books there that aren’t in the library in town. Is there a maximum number of books you can take out?”
“Yes,” Hannah said quickly. “One at a time. Leave some for the other students.”
Rosie grumbled about the book ban.
Alice chuckled. “Probably best. You can go every day, so you’ll not need more than one anyway.”
“And you need to do more than just read all the time,” Hannah said. “You need to go outside and breathe some fresh air.”
“I walk to school and back every day,” Rosie argued.
“True, but it’s not enough. Do you know how many steps you’re meant to do a day?”
“Over ten thousand,” Rosie answered quickly.
Hannah paused. “Well, I asked for that, of course you know.”
“Some people think that counting steps is silly and that it’s what kind of activity you do that matters,” Rosie added.
“She’s right,” Alice said. “The idea of walking ten thousand steps a day was actually invented as part of a marketing campaign in the 1960s for the Tokyo Olympics.”
“Are you two ganging up on me?” Hannah asked playfully.
Alice smiled. “No, I agree that Rosie should be out in the fresh air and doing exercise. I just don’t think counting steps is the right way to monitor what she does.”
“Reading is exercise for the brain,” Rosie said.
“Your brain is exercised enough. If you keep reading, your winter hat won’t fit.” Hannah pointed her fork towards Rosie’s head.
“That’s silly,” Rosie replied.
Alice watched the playful banter between them with delight. Hannah obviously had a well-tuned sense of humour and enjoyed teasing people with it.
“Your granddad won’t recognise you,” she continued. “He’ll ask me who that big-headed, pasty-looking child is.”
Rosie ignored the comment and turned back to face Alice. “My granddad is coming to visit from Scotland.”
“Oh, that’s nice,” Alice said. “Scotland’s a long way away, so I suppose you don’t see him much?”
“Not very much,” Rosie agreed.
“He visits when he can, but it’s not as often as he’d like,” Hannah added.
“He worked on oil rigs,” Rosie said.
“That sounds like very interesting work,” Alice said.
“What does your granddad do?” Rosie asked.
“Rosie,” Hannah warned.
“It’s fine,” Alice reassured. “My grandfather passed away many years ago, but he was an accountant.” She could see the follow-up question shining in Rosie’s inquisitive eyes. “My parents are both retired, and they live in the South of France, so I don’t see them very much.”
Or ever, she thought bitterly.
“That’s a shame,” Rosie said.
Alice remained silent and ate her food. She didn’t want to come out and say that she was absolutely fine with the arrangement and would far prefer the distance to having to put up with her parents’ homophobic views and constant critique of her life choices.
“Rosie wants to be a doctor when she grows up,” Hannah said.
“Or a vet,” Rosie added.
“Maybe you could be both?” Hannah said playfully. “You could be a surgeon and put beaks on people and give frogs one big human foot?”
Rosie shook her head and looked at Alice. “I’m sorry that my mummy is so silly, Miss Spencer,” she said seriously.
Alice smothered a smile and looked at Hannah. “That’s quite all right, Rosie. I’m rather keen on her brand of humour.”
16 BEDTIME STORIES
The evening seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Alice was enjoying Hannah’s jokes and Rosie’s inquisitive mind and was disappointed when Rosie’s bedtime rolled around. The adults had been sitting on the sofa while Rosie entertained them with stories and asked Alice questions, often running around the living area with impressive bursts of energy.
“What time is it?” Hannah asked Rosie knowingly.
Rosie let out a dramatic sigh.
“That’s not an answer,” Hannah said as Rosie flopped over onto the coffee table.
“Bedtime,” Rosie mumbled, her nose pressed against the wood.
“Actually, it’s thirty minutes after bedtime,” Hannah explained. “You better go and get ready for bed.”
Rosie peeled herself off the table and trudged towards her room. Alice smiled at the typical behaviour. Rosie was anything but a typical child in so many ways, so when she started to act like a five-year-old it was a pleasure to see, even if it was the traditional complaint about bedtime.
“I’m a terrible mother for wanting her to go to bed at a reasonable time,” Hannah explained.
“Aren’t all mothers?”
“Not all,” Hannah replied cryptically. She reached for her drink, and Alice decided not to follow up on the remark.
“Rosie really is wonderful, and you’re wonderful with her,” Alice said. “Even if you do enforce strict bedtimes.”
“Thank you,” Hannah said. “I try my best with her, but it’s not easy.”
Rosie ran back into the room and skidded to a halt in front of Hannah. She leaned forward, opened her mouth wide and breathed directly into Hannah’s face.
“Mmm, minty. Now time for PJs.”
Rosie nodded and then sprinted away.
Alice laughed. “I take it that’s the toothbrush test?”
“Yes, don’t you do that at home?” Hannah asked.
“Sadly, I live alone.”
“Maybe get a pet?” Hannah suggested.
“I think the RSPCA might frown at that idea.”
Rosie came rushing back into the room wearing dinosaur pyjamas.
“I offered her Disney princesses, but she wanted dinosaurs,” Hannah explained before Alice said anything.
“They look amazing,” Alice said to Rosie. “I wish I had some!”
Rosie fidgeted nervously and walked over to her mother, climbing up the arm of the sofa and whispering something in her ear. Hannah listened and then shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t know, pumpkin, you’ll have to ask her,” Hannah said.
Rosie stared at her mother and gestured her head with annoyance, indicating that she wanted her to ask Alice instead.
Hannah chuckled and turned to look at her. “Would you mind putting Rosie to bed and reading to her? Just five to ten minutes, and then snatch the book out of her hands or she’ll read all night.”
Alice was surprised, but she put her water glass down on the table all the same. “Oh, right, yes, I’d love to.” She stood and wiped her sweaty palms on her trousers. She’d never put a child to bed before. Looking after children during the day when they were awake was easy, but this was new territory. She let Rosie lead her to her room, keen that the young girl didn’t pick up on her anxiety.
Rosie turned on a small lamp on her headboard and jumped into bed. A book was laying on the bedside table. The girl pointed to it and patted the space beside her on the bed.
Alice grabbed the book and sat on the edge of the bed, bringing her legs up and stretching out.
“Mummy doesn’t let me read for too long before bed,” Rosie said.
“That’s very wise. If she didn’t, I bet you’d read all night and be tired for school in the morning,” Alice said.
“That’s what she says.” Rosie laid down and brought the duvet up to her neck.
Alice flipped open the book and found a well-used bookmark. She started to read, glancing at her watch to make a note of the time as she did. Rosie fidgeted as she read, tossing and turning and eventually cuddling up to her to see the book for herself.
Alice was surprised by how the rest of the world seemed to fade away. All her worries and stresses disappeared as she sat on the small bed, reading about dragons and princesses with Rosie burrowing into her side.
Ten minutes passed, and she found
an appropriate place to stop reading. She put the bookmark in place and closed the book.
“Thank you for coming to dinner, Miss Spencer,” Rosie whispered. Alice could feel the girl drifting off as she spoke.
“Thank you for having me.” She pushed herself up off the bed and put the book back where she found it. Rosie slid down in the bed, and Alice adjusted the duvet so she was tucked in.
“Sweet dreams.”
“Night, night,” Rosie said.
Alice turned the light off and quietly walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.
She walked back into the living room to see Hannah on her phone.
“All go okay?” she asked, pocketing the device.
“Yes, it was fine.” Alice wondered what was next. She wanted to stay, wanted to talk more, but Hannah had initially been unsure of the idea of a date at all. If this was a polite dinner, then it would now surely be over.
“Can I get you some wine?” Hannah offered. “Or some juice, as you’re driving?”
“I’d love some juice,” Alice replied eagerly. She had loved spending the time with Hannah and Rosie, but she was looking forward to having some time with Hannah on her own.
“Orange okay?” Hannah asked.
“Perfect.”
She sat down, and Hannah went to get the drinks. Her heart started racing. This was the moment, the time where the date, if it was a real date, started. A glass of orange juice appeared in front of her, and she took it.
“Thank you.”
Hannah sat beside her. “Sorry about Rosie’s endless questions. She takes curiosity to new heights.”
“It’s fine, children are like that.”
“They are, Rosie definitely is. She has no qualms asking anyone anything. When she was younger, she asked one of my clients why she was so old.”
Alice laughed. “I bet that went down well.”
“Luckily, she’s cute and got away with it.”
“You’re a hairdresser, if I recall?”