by A. E. Radley
Alice held up her hand. “Stop. Stop right there. Do you really think I would suggest sending Rosie to boarding school? Do you not know me at all?”
“The evidence is right here, Alice. You even admitted you got this leaflet for Rosie. Don’t try backing out of it now.”
“I’m not!”
“I… I can’t be here anymore.” Hannah threw the leaflet back down on the table and walked out of the door.
She marched down the corridor towards the exit as she had done so many times in the past when storming out of school. She couldn’t believe she had been foolish enough to think Alice would understand her or her life. She’d been stupid to give her heart to the woman. She’d known it would end in heartache, and here she was, destroyed and wondering how to tell Rosie that Miss Spencer would never, ever come to dinner again.
She pulled the door and felt the lock hold it firmly in place.
“Fuck,” she mumbled.
She heard the sound of Alice rushing down the stairs.
“Hannah, wait,” Alice called out.
“Unlock the door and let me out,” Hannah demanded.
“Let me—”
“I don’t want to hear it.” Hannah pointed at the door.
Alice unlocked the door, understanding that Hannah wasn’t in the mood to be messed about.
“And I don’t want to see you again. Obviously, we’ll remain professional for Rosie’s sake, but nothing more. This was all a huge mistake.”
The second the door was unlocked, Hannah marched out into the rain. Tears fell down her cheeks. She refused to turn around. This time she really would be walking out of school for the last time.
24 OVER
Adrian opened the door, took one look at Hannah, and said, “Oh god, what happened?”
“It’s over,” Hannah said through gritted teeth as she walked into Adrian’s hallway.
He closed the door to the living room, where she assumed Rosie was. “What happened?” he asked again.
Hannah paced the hallway, still incensed by what had happened. “She wants to ship Rosie off to some snooty boarding school. She’s five. FIVE. What kind of insane person wants to put a kid of that age into a boarding school? Now, I’m not saying that it wouldn’t be a good thing for Rosie to get that kind of education. I’m not a moron. I know that school would give her a great start in life. But she’s practically a baby. I’m not sending her to a place that looks like it’s fucking haunted. And how dare she make decisions for my child without consulting me? What kind of person does that? Well?”
Adrian blinked. “You want me to talk now? Or do you have another ten minutes of ranting to get out of your system?”
She let out a sigh and sagged against the wall. “I’m sorry. I’m just so angry. I trusted her. I… I fell for her.”
“Explain what happened, exactly.”
“While we were painting, I saw a leaflet for some posh academy on her desk. Miles away from here. I thought she was looking for a new job or something, but she said it was for Rosie. Then I realised it was a boarding school. We argued, and I left. I told her I never wanted to see her again.”
Adrian pulled her into a hug as she started to cry again.
“I really liked her, Ade,” she whispered into his shoulder.
“I don’t blame you, she seemed so nice.” He held her tightly. “At least you know now. At least you learned before things got really serious. I know it doesn’t help right now, but it could have been so much worse.”
She didn’t want to admit how deeply or how quickly she had fallen for Alice, so she just nodded into his shoulder. “You’re right. I don’t know what I’m going to tell Rosie.”
“Like you just said, she’s five. You don’t need to tell her anything yet. She’ll ask at some point, and then you can make some excuse. But you don’t have to deal with all that now. You need to look after yourself. I’m so sorry, Han. I know you’ve been really reticent about dating, and it’s shitty that this has happened. Don’t let it put you off. You’ll find someone.”
She didn’t want to find someone. She wanted Alice to be what she expected and not the heartless monster she had turned into. Walking through the rain towards Adrian’s house, Hannah had wondered if a perfect partner for her even existed. Maybe she was hoping for someone who could never be real. Maybe her standards were too high.
It was a heart-breaking thought.
She’d managed to convince herself over the last few years that she didn’t need anyone, that she was fine alone and would focus on looking for a partner when Rosie was an adult.
But Alice had made her see the light. She’d been scared and avoiding the chance of finding love because she didn’t want to get hurt. Now she not only had a broken heart, but she also could no longer lie to herself that she was happy alone.
“Who is it, Uncle Adrian?” Rosie called out.
“I’ll go and talk to her,” Adrian said. “You pop into the kitchen and make us both a cup of tea. I’ll tell her you’ll be in soon, okay?”
Hannah nodded. Adrian quickly walked into the living room, closing the door behind him. Hannah looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror. She looked an absolute mess, with soaked hair and clothes, smudged mascara, and skin so white she looked like a ghost.
“Pull yourself together,” she told her reflection. “It’s just you and Rosie now. That’s all you need.”
25 COLIN’S BIG MISTAKE
Alice was not surprised to see Adrian dropping Rosie off at school on Monday morning. She suspected it would be a while before she laid eyes on Hannah again. Adrian looked at her and quickly looked away, obviously aware of the situation and not wanting to be thrown into the middle of it.
She couldn’t blame him.
Sunday had been her darkest day in a long time. She wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and cry over the loss of whatever it was she had had with Hannah. But she couldn’t. The decorating hadn’t been finished, and the classroom was still a mess. So, she had spent all day Sunday decorating while crying and shouting in frustration at herself. She couldn’t believe that she had let a simple conversation get so out of hand.
If only she had not been so shell-shocked by Hannah’s anger, she would have been able to respond and cool the situation down. Maybe even fix things. But she hadn’t. She’d been caught up in her own anger at Hannah’s interpretation of her actions.
It had floored her that Hannah had read the leaflet and immediately hurled accusations at her. She’d responded defensively rather than calmly. She wished she could wind back time and try again.
She looked at her watch. The bell was about to ring in a few moments.
“Class One, over here, please,” she called out to the playground as she planted herself to the side of the main entrance. She wanted to lead them up to the newly decorated form room herself to try to build some excitement about it.
“Why are we standing here?” Simone asked as she joined the queue.
“Because I have something to show you.”
“Is it a hamster? My cousin’s class got a hamster,” Simone said.
“It’s not a hamster.”
“A tarantula?” Colin asked as he joined the line.
“Yes,” Alice told him, “and it will eat anyone who hasn’t done their homework.”
Colin eyed her for a few long seconds. “You’re lying.”
“I’m joking, there’s a difference.”
“Is there?” he asked.
“There is. If you pay attention in English, you’ll find out what it is,” she told him.
The bell sounded, and the other students rushed into the building. Alice waited a few minutes until they had all cleared out of the corridors and gone into their respective form rooms. She didn’t want to lead a line of slow-moving five-year-olds up a flight of stairs when the rest of the school was rushing around.
“Okay, let’s go.” Alice led them into the building once it was clear.
As was becoming more freque
nt, the lights started to flicker.
“It’s not that the lights have been fixed,” Colin quipped.
“I’m not a miracle worker, Colin,” Alice replied.
She lined them up in the corridor outside of the classroom. “Now, I have something to show you. But this is only part one of the project, and I’ll need your help for part two. Is everyone going to help?”
The children started nodding, some bouncing with excitement for whatever was about to happen. She opened the door, and they walked in.
“It’s new!” Daniel shouted, never the brightest spark.
“It’s newly decorated,” Alice corrected.
“It’s so bright!” Simone smiled. “I like it!”
Alice watched as the children strolled around the room, pointing out the new colour and commenting on how much better it looked. Suddenly all of her hard work and conquering the terrifyingly high ceilings seemed worthwhile.
Her eyes settled on Rosie, who was looking at her sadly.
So, she knows, Alice surmised. Hannah’s told her something at least.
She tore her gaze from Rosie.
“Class, class,” she said and waited for them to quieten down. “As you can see, the room has been decorated and is nice and clean and bright now. But this is only part one. As I said outside, I need your help. We need to create lots and lots of art to put on the walls to make it even better. What do you think?”
The class whooped with delight, and Alice knew she’d get a complaint from her neighbouring teachers. She didn’t care. Nothing soothed the soul like a crowd of happy children.
“What are we going to make?” Colin asked.
“All kinds of things. When we learn something new and fun, we’ll do some painting or make some collages, and then we’ll put them on the wall.”
“All of them?” Colin asked.
“Yes, unless someone really wants to take something home,” Alice explained.
“Cool.” Colin looked around the room with a nod.
Alice couldn’t tell if he was genuinely interested in the idea or if he had an evil plan up his sleeve. With Colin it could be either.
She looked at Rosie again and noticed she was being very quiet. More so than usual.
She felt responsible. If she had not gotten involved with Hannah, it would have meant a lot less heartache all round. Especially for Rosie, who was having a hard enough time as it was without the extra emotional turbulence. What was worse, there was nothing she could do or say to fix it. It absolutely wasn’t her place to bring it up with Rosie.
It was going to be the longest Monday in history.
* * *
For some of her students, the morning’s enthusiasm for the newly decorated classroom had quickly turned into overexcitement. Unfortunately, it was the worst day for Alice to have to deal with the children trying to push the limits. The physical and emotional exhaustion from the weekend was catching up with her, and she was tired and sensitive.
She sat at the desk in the library and watched despondently as members of her class ran around like lunatics. They were already five minutes over the time she had allotted in the library.
“Simone, stop running around and find a book to borrow or I will choose one for you,” Alice shouted.
Simone stopped immediately, rushed over to a shelf, and started to look at books.
“Miss, I feel sick,” Colin said for the third time since they’d been in the library. “There’s a funny smell.”
“So you keep saying. Pick a book and we can go back to the form room.”
Colin loved disrupting lessons, and Alice hadn’t detected any funny smell, aside from the old books.
“It really stinks,” Colin pressed.
“No one else can smell it. Hurry up and get a book, and then you’ll be away from the supposed smell,” Alice said.
He sighed and dragged himself away, complaining about the stench as he did. She really didn’t have the strength to deal with Colin’s behaviour today. Simone playfully tapped Daniel on the shoulder, pronounced he was it, and then ran away. Alice sighed. It was going to be one of those days.
“Five more minutes, then we have to get going, we’re already late,” Alice called out.
The children hurried around, obviously detecting that their usually relaxed teacher was getting stressed. Simone placed a book on the desk, and Alice helped her to sign it out of the log.
She noticed Colin and Rosie talking in the distance. Considering their history, she kept a close eye on them. They seemed to be just talking, but she didn’t trust Colin as far as she could throw him.
“Miss Spencer?”
She blinked and looked at Simone who was asking her a question.
“Sorry, Simone, what did you say?”
Simone started to tell a story about what she had done at the weekend. Alice did her best to look interested and nod in the right places, but her eyes kept drifting over to the odd couple having a conversation.
Something didn’t seem right.
* * *
It was break time, and Alice was on playground duty, yet again. She’d noticed that she seemed to have a higher number of duty sessions than some of her colleagues, something she was going to let slide. But now that her mood had turned foul, she was willing to bring it up with Hardaker at the next opportunity.
Fairlight, and Willows, were fast losing their appeal to her.
Lucy Gibson walked over to Alice and held out a hot drink. “Coffee, strong, you look like you could use it,” she said.
Alice took the mug. “Thank you.”
“What’s up? No offence, but you look terrible.”
Alice wasn’t about to talk about what was really wrong and allow the gossip mill of Fairlight to churn Hannah over.
“Lack of sleep,” she explained. “And I’ve come to the end of my tether with Colin. He’s been pushing me all morning. Complaining about some phantom smell.”
Lucy’s head snapped up. “I had a student complaining about a smell, too, but I couldn’t smell anything.”
“No one else could. We were in the library, which isn’t the freshest of places with no windows,” Alice said. She wondered if there was a smell, and Colin was the unfortunate person with a nose attuned enough to pick up on it. “Strange coincidence, though.”
“Maybe our two troublemakers happened to come up with the same excuse to get away from work?” Lucy suggested.
Alice opened her mouth to reply when a loud siren started blaring from the building.
“Is that the fire alarm?” Alice shouted above the sound.
“Yes. We’re not due a drill, are we?” Lucy asked.
Alice shook her head. “Not at break time.” She placed her coffee mug on the wall, marched into the middle of the playground, and started shouting instructions to the students. They’d all performed a school-wide fire drill at the start of the term, and so everything was hopefully still fresh in the children’s minds.
Students started lining up in their designated locations. Alice saw the rest of the teaching staff and the administrators pour out of the building. The headmaster’s secretary, Cynthia, had the school registers and started handing them out to the teachers.
Alice started her roll call while keeping an ear out for what was being said by the other teachers. There was confusion, but it seemed that the fire brigade had been called.
“Daniel?” she called again, her head snapping up as she checked the line. She could immediately tell that a number of her class weren’t in the line. She skipped Daniel’s name and continued on. Four students were missing: Daniel, Colin, Abdul, and Rosie. Her heart slammed against her rib cage.
“What’s wrong?” Lucy was beside her in an instant.
“I’m missing four.” Alice started looking in the other lines and saw Daniel, and then Abdul. “Make that two.”
She called out for Daniel and Abdul to stand in the correct line and then continued her search for Rosie and Colin. She walked in between the rows of s
tudents, looking for them.
“Fire from the basement,” she heard one of the administrators say.
“It was already through the door by the time the alarm sounded,” Hardaker was explaining to someone on the phone.
It’s a real fire, she told herself. Thank goodness it happened at break time.
“Has anyone seen Colin Whittaker or Rosie Hall?” she shouted loudly.
Students and teachers shook their heads.
She shouted again.
Suddenly, there was a sound from the assembled crowd, a murmur of shock and fear. She turned towards the school and could see flames lapping out of one of the classrooms on the ground floor. Smoke was already billowing out of the main entrance.
Panic rose within her. Fire was one of her biggest fears. It was uncontrollable, unpredictable, and deadly.
“Miss Spencer,” one of the older students said. “Is that Colin?”
She turned around and followed the girl’s gaze. Sure enough, Colin was hiding inside one of the tunnels in the playground.
Alice took off at a sprint, hoping that Rosie was with him.
“Colin?” She said as she crouched down and looked into the tunnel. He was alone. “Where’s Rosie?”
Tears were streaming down his face. “I dunno.”
Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
“Colin, you’re not in trouble. I just need to make sure that everyone is safe. Do you know where Rosie is?”
Colin shook his head quickly. Too quickly.
“Colin, I really need your help. Please,” she begged.
“It’s not my fault!”
“I know, sweetheart, I know. Just… tell me. Let me fix it.”
He took a deep breath. “We… we went into the library. She said she’d seen the next book in the series I’m reading, but I didn’t see it. She said she could prove it to me…” He trailed off, terrified eyes staring at the burning building.
“What happened?”
“I… didn’t know there would be a fire,” he whispered.