by Lisa Daniels
“I—what?” I was about to get offended, but he grabbed one of my shoulders and spun me so that I faced the kitchen.
“We can talk later. For now, you need to get moving. They will be here any second. Run. Please run.”
It was the please that did it. I took off and had no sooner reached the kitchen when I heard the doors to the stairs open. A voice I did not recognize sounded through the hall. “Cooking wench, what did you do?”
I froze. Obviously Spoon wasn’t going to tell them what had really happened. He must have told the other guards that I had attacked him, though what reason he gave escaped me. Seconds later, a very angry man stood in the kitchen door, his hands on his hips and a glare that would have terrified most women. I had gotten that look far too many times by turning men down.
Folding my arms across my chest, I briefly considered telling him what really happened. Then I remembered what Braxton had said not long before sending me to the kitchen.
I’m hoping that they won’t notice me here.
He had helped me get rid of Spoon, so it was my turn to help him. “I did nothing. I told him if he tried to climb the shelves he would get hurt. A couple of them have rotted, which I told him. I also told him that I would not help him if he refused to listen to my warning. When the shelf broke, I sent him upstairs. He tried to accuse me of sabotaging him, but I think he was just very embarrassed. Who would want to admit that they got hurt climbing shelves?”
The guard looked at me, his mouth twitching a bit. Finally, he nodded, “Let me see, then.”
I marched over to the larder and opened the doors. Sure enough, there were several broken shelves and some food littered the floor. Of course, that had been there when I arrived, and I was simply putting off cleaning it up. There was more than enough in the kitchen to mend and set up without dealing with the broken cabinets.
He looked down at the mess and laughed. “Oh, wait until I tell them what really happened. He is never going to be able to live this down. Maybe we’ll finally get his stupid, sorry ass out of the guard now.” He seemed to wring his hands in anticipation.
While he was in a good mood, I decided it was time to try to get a bit more information out of him. “I am sorry to disrupt your official business, but when will I be brought food to start cooking for the other prisoners?”
His eyes looked at me as if noticing me for the first time. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe if you give me a little something, I can return with some news on your predicament.”
Taking a step back, I smiled and shook my head, “I’m sorry, but I have nothing to give.”
His eyes slid down to my chest and he stepped forward, “I can think of a couple things you could offer.”
I have no idea where the words came from, but suddenly I heard my mouth say, “I’m sorry, but my lover would never stand for sharing me with another man. You know how jealous noblemen can be.” I gave him a sheepish look.
The man blinked and stepped back, almost like he had been shocked. “You led me on.”
“Not at all, sir. That was why I told you I had nothing I could offer you. The only thing that I once had is no longer mine to give.”
His eyes narrowed, but the guard seemed convinced. “I might try to find out, but don’t hold your breath, wench.” With that, he left the room.
I immediately got to work cleaning up the dishes from making Braxton’s breakfast in case the guard decided to stick around and watch me.
It was too noisy to hear the door, so I kept cleaning until a voice caught my attention.
“And here I thought you were an honest woman.”
I turned to look at the doorway. Leaning up against it was Braxton, a very amused look on his face.
I turned my attention back to drying the dishes. “What makes you think that I lied?”
“If you were really the lover of a nobleman, you wouldn’t be down here.”
“I am still just a servant, so if I displeased him, then upset a bunch of other people, he may not have a problem with letting me languish down here.”
“Ah. You may be right about that.” He sounded very disappointed when he said that. I barely heard him mutter, “Humans.”
“It doesn’t seem like there is anything holding you back. If you are so disgusted by humans, why stick around tormenting yourself? Just go.”
“I will tell you later. For now, suffice it to say that I have very good reason to stay here. If you don’t mind, I will be here for the foreseeable future.”
I looked over at him. Braxton had managed to move soundlessly from the doorway to the chair, and he was now sitting with his elbow on the table and his cheek resting on his hand.
Returning to what I was doing, I said, “If you plan to stick around down here, would you please keep the insults of my species to a minimum?” I tried to hide the fact that I was more than happy to have him stay with me. A part of me tried to explain it as being glad to have someone to talk to for the first time in weeks, but most of me know that wasn’t the real reason.
“Oh, I was under the impression you felt the same way.”
This caused me to turn and look at him again, “To look down on my own species?” I hoped that was what he meant, because if he could read my thoughts, I would be in trouble.
“Yes. You have not exactly been kind when you talk about them. The only person of whom you have spoken well was your father. You have been less than kind to everyone else, including your mother.”
“I…” I wanted to argue, to say that he was wrong, but that was a lie. There were very few people that I like. My father, Mrs. Teasdon, and my mother. That was pretty much the full list. “I have good reason having spent my life around them.”
“I can imagine it was difficult. But if you still want me to be kinder to the fools whom you can’t stand, I will do my best.”
This forced me to smile. Trying to hide it, I looked away. “Thank you.”
“So,” the voice was much closer, “how long do you plan to keep cleaning?”
I looked over, and Braxton was standing just a few feet away. I knew that I should back away, that I should put some distance between us. I didn’t want to, though. So I didn’t.
Instead, I stepped toward him. “I’m just finishing up.”
Braxton took a step toward me, “What do you plan to do next?”
“I don’t usually plan my days. I prioritize based on what I think would be the most helpful activity to complete next.”
One of his hands came up and pushed a strand of hair out of my face. “What would you say should be the next priority?”
A part of me was screaming at myself, telling me to run. So many men had tried similar tactics, never quite so effectively, but I knew what he was suggesting. It should have caused me to put distance between us, but I found I couldn’t. Keeping my eyes on his, I simply said, “I’m not done with this chore yet.”
He smiled down at me, one of his hands pulling the cloth and dish from my hand. “If I’m being honest, I thought you would put up some sort of pretext.”
“I feel it would be a waste of time,” my honesty was shocking me, but lying seemed pointless. “Something about you makes me feel safe, and I want to believe that is a good thing. I’ve never felt safe in my life. Not since I turned four and everyone told me what I was.”
His hand moved slowly down the side of my face and I closed my eyes for a moment, the sensation completely new. “And what is that?”
My eyes opened, “I’m a bastard.” At the words, my feet finally did what my brain had been trying to tell them to do. I took two steps back. “No man would ever have honorable intentions to the bastard daughter of a woman with premonitions.”
Braxton took one step forward, his movements like a cat preparing to pounce. “Do you really care what my intentions are? I have already told you I am not human, so why does it matter?”
“I don’t want to be used.”
He smiled at me, his eyes blinking slowly as if to keep my eyes t
rained on his face. “I’ve seen how you look at me. You would be using me as much as I would be using you.”
“I don’t want to use anyone either.”
A thin smile spread across his face, “I would be honored to be used by the bastard daughter of a woman with premonitions. A woman who is strong, intelligent, honest, and has premonitions of her own.”
I looked into his eyes to see the lie behind them. Men had said similar things to me before, but it was always clear they were lying. Their eyes let me know that all they wanted was to experience me, then to leave.
None of them knew about the premonitions, though, a small voice whispered in my head.
It was my turn to stare at him. “How do you know I have premonitions?”
“I’ve heard you screaming at night, every night. It could have been night terrors, but once you told me your mother has premonitions, and that she was cursed by a demon, I realized what was happening to you.”
Not even my father knew about my abilities. Perhaps I was afraid he would leave if he knew, or perhaps I didn’t want to add more problems, but I had never told him of what I had seen in my sleep.
Now here was a man I did not know, accepting not only that I was a bastard, but that I had premonitions. And he wasn’t leaving.
I tried to figure out why he was still there. “You should have run away by now. Why are you here?”
“Can you really not wait to learn?”
I looked into those startling greenish-yellow eyes, so deep that I could easily get lost in them. It felt like I was trapped in them. Slowly I shook my head, “I don’t care.”
I closed the gap. Standing on my toes, I pressed my lips to his. His arms moved around my back, and I felt the muscles pulling me closer to him. Braxton’s hand moved up between my shoulder blades as his tongue slid into my mouth. At first I was taken aback, but I soon let my tongue carefully feel his, then slid it into his mouth. He let out a slight moan, and his other hand slid down my hip.
Soon my feet were off the ground, and I had wrapped my legs around his waist.
His voice was deep and breathless when he asked, “Do you mind if we use your bed?”
“I don’t care.” I buried my face in his neck. As I kissed him, I muttered again, “I don’t care.”
By the time we reached my cell, he had removed most of my clothing. Roughly, he put me down on the bed. Sitting just above me, he removed his coat and shirt, giving me a look at the naked body that had already sparked my imagination far more than I had experienced before that day.
He looked down at me, his hand sliding up my side and removing the rest of my clothing. “I hope you do not mind that I cannot take this slowly. I want you far too badly to…” his eyes looked at me. Unable to find the words, he began to kiss me as he moved my legs to the side.
Throwing my arms around his neck, I pushed my hips up into his. “I don’t mind. I just want you.”
He made a low sound, almost like a growl. The next thing I knew, there was a sharp pain between my legs. I let out a yelp and moved away from him.
Braxton looked down at me in shock. “You are a virgin? How can you be a virgin?”
The tone in his voice startled me, and I pulled the blanket up over my chest. “I’m sorry. Have I angered you?” It felt like someone had punched me in the gut, and I had no idea what would happen next.
He ran a hand through his hair, “I had no idea. If I had known, this would never have happened.”
“You… you don’t want…”
Slowly, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before pulling away and sitting some distance from me. “I am so sorry, Arabella. No woman should experience her first time in a dungeon cell. I’m sorry I did not know.”
I sat up and moved over to him. Rubbing his back, I tried to make him feel better—he was clearly upset, but I was realizing it wasn’t with me. “You don’t need to apologize. There is no way to undo the past.”
“But I should have realized. You have been so open and honest, but I took it for bitterness. What you were saying and what I was interpreting were two completely different things. Had I been thinking with my head, I would have realized it sooner, and then… oh gods, I’ve screwed everything up.”
He was going to keep beating himself up, that was obvious. I felt a little discomfort, but shifted to try to ease it. Trying to lighten the mood, I said, “Well, if I had any doubts that you weren’t a demon, you’ve certainly put them to rest.”
“What?” His head swiveled and he looked at me, mortified.
“I mean, they would definitely not feel guilty about deflowering anyone. Not that I thought you were a demon anymore. I’ve never imagined that any of them could be nearly so persuasive as you are.” I smiled up at him.
He frowned, “How can you joke at a time like this?”
I shrugged, “I don’t regret wanting you. I only wish you didn’t feel guilty about it.”
“But you had never been with anyone. How could I not feel guilty about what happened?”
I scratched my head, “I thought that was the kind of thing men usually bragged about.”
“I am not a man!” There was pain in his voice.
I pressed up against him, “I know, I know. That is entirely obvious now. But that is probably why I feel so safe with you. That is why I want you.”
“You can’t seriously mean that you still want...”
I looked up into his eyes, “Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me where it happens. To me, anywhere you are is the most romantic place I could ask for.”
Braxton looked at me, the conflict going on inside him only visible in his eyes. Finally, he leaned over slowly and kissed my forehead. “You should not say such things.”
“Why not?” I frowned. “I mean it.”
He kept my gaze for a few seconds. Then slowly, gently, he covered my mouth with his. His arm moved around my body, pulling me to him. “I promise to be gentle with you this time. Don’t try to hide the pain or discomfort to spare me. Promise.” He looked into my eyes, the heat from his body making me begin to lose my ability to think.
“I promise,” I murmured.
He began to kiss me, slowly this time. Braxton’s hands moved carefully over my body, and even I could tell that it was very different than the first time. He had been unrestrained, letting passion take control. Now, he was moving deliberately, his hands making me more and more eager to feel him. It almost felt like he was torturing me.
By the time he finally slid into me, I was half crazy with desire. Throwing my head back, I let out a load moan, and my arms tried to pull him closer. His hand supported my back, tilting the lower part of my body to experience more of his as he pressed further into me. Suddenly, I felt my body tighten, and it felt like my world was being altered forever. He began to move faster, and my body tightened further until I heard someone screaming. I soon realized it was me, and it was his name that I was screaming. Unable to stop myself, I kept calling his name every time he slid further into me.
By the time he had managed to work fully into me, I had become exhausted.
“Are you alright?” His voice was low and concerned beside my ear.
“I want more. Braxton, I want more of you.” That was the last thing I remembered as I drifted off to sleep, the warmth of Braxton like a protective blanket keeping me from harm, from premonitions, and from the fear that I had always tied to being intimate.
Chapter 6
Something to Think About
The first thing I felt when I woke was warmth. Immediately, I rolled toward it and tried to bury my face in it.
“Good morning to you, too.”
The voice was warm and familiar. Instead of panicking, I opened my eyes and took in the handsome face of Braxton. The memories from what had happened quickly caught up with me, and I buried my face in his bare chest. “I am so sorry.”
He pushed me back gently and looked down at me, “What could you possibly be trying to apologize for?”
; “I told you I wanted more, then fell asleep.”
He leaned over and kissed my forehead, “Don’t worry, I didn’t take any offense. I hope that you don’t regret it now.”
I shook my head, “I don’t regret wanting you at all. I just know that you were disappointed already, and then I go and do that.”
“Hey,” his index finger caught me under the chin, “I wasn’t disappointed with you. I was disappointed with myself.”
“I don’t know why, that was amazing. If it is always like that, I think I can kind of understand my mom now.”
This got a laugh out of him, which he quickly tried to turn into a cough. “I like to think that I don’t perform like a human, and hope that my abilities are somewhat more refined and pleasurable.”
“I don’t have any complaints. Then again,” I didn’t want to start blabbering the things I was thinking, so I tried to be funny, “I don’t have anything to compare it to. Maybe after you move on, I will learn just how good I had it.” I knew that women who got clingy were always the first to be shed. Men wanted someone who would enjoy them, then accept when it was time to move on. I didn’t want to make him think that I expected anything more. After all, we had only met yesterday.
“What would you do if I didn’t move on?” His words took me by surprise, and I thought he was probably talking hypothetically.
“Then I guess I would only have each encounter as a comparison for your abilities. But don’t worry.” I moved away from him, “I’m not going to force myself on you and try to trap you like some women do. You hardly know me, so I would never expect—”
He shut me up with a kiss. Not the same gentle kiss that he had given me when I woke. It was more like the one from the previous night—or at least what I thought of as night. For all I knew, it was night now. It didn’t matter to me.
My arm slid around him, and I pulled him to me. His hands carefully traced my body, almost like he thought I was fragile. The sensation sent shivers up my spine and a moan escaped my lips.
He stopped long enough to say, “I don’t want to move on. And I don’t want you to think that I am kidding.”
Opening my eyes, I saw those intense eyes staring at me. “Look, you don’t owe me. Just because you were my first, I don’t want you to think that—”