by Kaira Rouda
“Oh, Jack,” Dorsey said, covering his right hand with hers. He was still holding on tight, rocking gently forward and back. “I’m so very sorry.”
“I don’t talk about it,” he said finally, still staring straight ahead. “He was a little older than the boy today. Just playing with his best friend in a crowded public pool. There were three lifeguards on duty but they didn’t see him until it was too late. I was asleep. I was supposed to work later that afternoon so I just crashed on my towel under a tree. My mom was at work. I was in charge of him, of Bobby. I’ve never forgiven myself for falling asleep.”
“Jack, it wasn’t your fault. You were a kid, too.”
“It was a really hot humid day. I woke up to screams and whistles being blown. I sat up fast, too fast, and I was dizzy. I looked around for Bobby, but he wasn’t next to me. His towel – it was light yellow – was on the grass next to mine, but it was dry. Our bag of Lays Potato chips was unopened on the grass between us. I stood up and hurried over to the pool in time to see the lifeguard pulling him up onto the pool deck. Bobby was blue.”
Jack stopped and dropped his head into his hands. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I don’t talk about this.”
“It’s OK, you don’t need to say more, not if it hurts too much,” she said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I’m so sorry, so very sorry.”
Jack turned toward Dorsey and leaned forward, easing his lips onto hers. It was a soft, gentle kiss, and Dorsey’s body took over in response, pressing back into him, wanting more, wanting to comfort him, wanting him. His tongue was parting her lips and Dorsey heard herself moan.
Without breaking the kiss, Jack maneuvered Dorsey so they were lying down facing each other. He was so strong, his lips soft but insistent. His hand cupped the back of her head, her hair wrapped around his hand.
“Dorsey,” he said, pulling away from the kiss but staring deeply into her eyes. “You’re incredible.”
Her stomach fluttered, her head spun. This was what being kissed by a real man was like, she realized. Jack wasn’t embarrassed to be with her like Chad had been. And it wasn’t a pity date like the ones after college. He wanted to be with her. Their connection had been immediate, their embrace as natural as it was exciting. It all felt so good, so right, but it couldn’t happen. Not here. Not with Steve as their boss, not with her past. This was all going too fast.
“We can’t do this,” she said, suddenly, rolling away, turning her back to him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding hurt, placing his hand on her hip, sending shock waves through her body.
“It’s just that we can’t jeopardize our jobs, you need yours as much as I need mine, no matter how handsome you are. I’m sorry,” she said. She should never have invited him to her bedroom. What was she thinking? She’d been a tease, and she hadn’t meant to be. She forced herself to sit up, crossing her legs, trying to deaden the fire building there.
Jack sat up, too, his expression was kind, not angry. He scooped her up and pulled her into his lap. She relaxed into him, into his embrace, even as she wanted him to touch her everywhere, to fill her. She sighed.
“By the way, you’re a great kisser,” Jack said. “I’m so turned on.” Her face flushed as she burrowed into his chest. She could tell he enjoyed making her blush even as she enjoyed every minute of being with him. And she could feel him hard behind her. This was torture, for both of them. “So tell me more about you.”
“I’m not into yoga, and I have half a brain,” she said, but not finishing the rest of the lyrics even though she could vividly imagine making love in the moonlight on a dune with Jack. Her heart pumped and her stomach clenched.
“You just might be the love that I’ve looked for,” he said, gently lifting her chin, tilting her face up towards his. “It’s OK. You can trust me. Talk to me.”
She had to choose her words carefully. She never told the whole truth of her past, not to anyone, and she wasn’t going to start now, no matter how amazing he was. “My dad, ah, died when I was fourteen. My mom and I never got over it either. I went to Ohio State, majored in early childhood education but never knew what I wanted to do with it. I was a full-time nanny for four years, but I needed a fresh start. I was searching the Internet and found the ad for the Kids Club position and applied. Here I am,” she said. “And I haven’t had anyone protect or care about me for a very long time.” Dorsey couldn’t believe she was admitting this to Jack, even as tears welled up in her eyes.
“I’m here for you. I am,” Jack said, wrapping his arms around her tightly, his brown eyes dark and sparkling while he used a finger to gently brush a tear away from her cheek. “I know we have to be careful. I’ve been under Steve’s rule since last summer. We can outsmart him, outlast him, too.”
Dorsey’s teeth bit into her bottom lip as she thought about Jack’s implied proposal, unsure if she could stop herself from wanting more. Not sure she should allow herself to trust a man again after what happened with Chad. This could ruin everything she had come here for, even as it felt so good to be with him. But, what about the others?
“From what I hear, you didn’t play by the rules last year, either,” she said, and felt his hand tighten on her hip. He let out a sigh behind her.
“Last summer, I was summer staff. I was just goofing around. Nothing serious. This year, it’s different with the management position. It’s different with you.”
“What about Rebecca?” she asked, a question that had been pinging around her mind since she spotted them together at orientation. “It seemed like there was more to it than just goofing around. She was really upset after you yelled at her.”
“Sorry you had to see that. She’s a little crazy, but I promise you, there’s nothing there,” Jack said, pulling her back into his chest, gently lifting her chin so their eyes locked. “Give me a chance.”
“I’ll try, I really will,” she said, as Jack hugged her tightly. She loved being in his lap, feeling taken care of and protected. The way his arms felt around her, so strong, so grounding. She wanted to believe him, to believe that the most gorgeous guy on the island really did like her, that this deep emotional connection she felt went both ways. Could it be true?
Jack lifted her up and slid them down the headboard until they were lying next to each other on their right sides, his strong arms holding her tight, his body behind her, curled around hers. He held her until they both fell asleep, Dorsey comforted by the sound of Jack’s heart.
Chapter 8
Jack
Jack didn’t know what had come over him as he woke up, fully dressed, in Dorsey’s room. This had to be a first. He cuddled a girl all night. What was wrong with him?
He was surrounded by gorgeous girls, every summer, all summer long, and if he wanted one, had actually been invited to crawl through her window at night, he’d have sex with her. Every one of them, until now. But until now, none of them had made him feel like Dorsey did. Sure, Dorsey was hot, sexy in an all-natural way, and she always seemed to need his help, his care. And he liked that. When they’d kissed he’d felt things stir inside he hadn’t felt in a long time, maybe never. He loved the way she blushed every time they flirted, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she laughed. There was intense chemistry between them. It had taken every ounce of his willpower to fall asleep next to her. He had already pictured his hands on her breasts, her soft skin in the moonlight. But now, he’d just take it slowly. They had both had trauma in their past, he was sure of it even though she hadn’t been forthcoming. He was surprised he’d told her about Bobby. The near-drowning had weakened his typical walls, he supposed.
Or maybe, she had.
He looked over to where she was sleeping peacefully on her side, knees curled up, a faint smile on her face. One arm was tossed lazily in his direction, palm up. Her hair was a wild tangle covering the pillow, illuminated like a halo by the sunlight sneaking in through the slats of the blinds. She looked like an angel.
The sun was up, Jack suddenly realized, reluctantly pulling his attention from Dorsey to the fact he was still in her room. And it was daylight. He climbed carefully out of her bed. He’d need to get out of there before anyone discovered them. Even the cleaning crew reported directly to Steve, he knew. Everybody would and could run straight to Steve, and be rewarded for ratting out fellow employees. That was the type of culture Steve had created, one of tattletales and mistrust. It would be a problem. Steve’s world was emotionless and orderly, asexual.
The opposite of everything Jack saw and felt when he looked down again at Dorsey, sleeping soundly. He fought the overwhelming urge to leap back in bed with her, fighting the urge to wake her up with an urgent, hard kiss, fighting the urge to touch her. He backed away, reluctantly, hoping nothing was ruined last night, believing it was just a start.
Jack pushed up the window and climbed out, closing it silently behind him. A quick jog to his cottage in the fresh morning sea air reminded him he needed to focus on his job. He couldn’t allow himself to get sidetracked by Dorsey, no matter how much he wanted her. Remember the goal, Jack told himself. He was going to make his mom proud, he was going to see his mom smile again.
Jack was in his lifeguard chair, eyes scanning the crowded swimming pool when Steve appeared next to him.
“Have you seen that little kid, Tade, around?” Steve asked, anger in his voice. “The little bastard seems to have run off again.”
“He’s a pistol. He’s the one who put the blue crabs in the pool last summer, remember?” Jack said, remembering the sight of panicked vacationers mobbing out of the pool. He struggled to swallow a laugh. It had been a funny prank.
“That’s him. He’s supposed to be in the Kids Cottage, but he’s not there. Would you mind looking for him? I’ll get another guard to cover for you,” Steve said, smiling his fake smile, sun bouncing off his over-sized sunglasses.
“I’m not good at kid finding,” Jack said, turning away, scanning the crowded pool.
“It’s not really a request, son,” Steve said as another lifeguard appeared. “We will have order here on Indigo Island. Get going.”
Power play perfected, Steve, Jack thought. Jack dove into the water from the chair, anxious to cool off and to get away from Steve. He swam under water to the other side of the pool, climbed out, grabbed a towel from Sabrina at the pool hut and set out to find the kid.
The first place he’d look would be the Kids Club; maybe Tade had returned in the time it took Steve to summon Jack. Even if the kid wasn’t there, he knew Dorsey would be. He smiled at the thought as he pulled on his white polo shirt. Everything led him back to her.
The playground outside the cottage was empty, but as he walked up the steps to the Kids Club, he spotted Dorsey inside. She was dressed in the official uniform, of khaki shorts and a pale blue polo, but she still looked great. And, she had a tennis shoe on her hurt foot, no crutches in sight.
“Hey,” Jack said, shaking his wet hair once more before walking into the cottage. “Feels good in here, chilly.”
“What are you doing here?” Dorsey said, a huge smile across her face, and of course, the usual blush.
“Me? Why I just wanted to see how the prettiest woman on the island was doing today. Sorry I had to slip out before you woke up,” he said. Being this close to her again made him want her, made him remember the kiss from the night before. He fought to control himself. He didn’t want to scare her away.
Dorsey walked over to Jack and held his hand. “It was the first night I can remember having a really good sleep. Thank you,” she said.
The door slammed open and Steve appeared, hands on hips, furious. “How the hell do you expect to find Tade here, Jack? I told you he didn’t show up at the Kids Club so why would you?”
“I wanted to be sure he still hadn’t showed up.” You tool, he didn’t add. “Dorsey and I are going to look for him now. We’ll find him. Right, Dorsey?”
“Right, I don’t have any campers today,” she said, looking confused but soon following along. “Steve, you really should tell Tade’s parents to sign him in, follow the rules. If they don’t, how can they expect their kid to?”
“They think they own the place. Tade likes you, so just go find the little brat,” Steve said. An angry flush rose on his cheeks and his dark brown eyes flashed at her. He’d pushed his glasses up above his eyebrows.
Jack realized the man’s eyes were too small for his face but made up for their size with intensity.
“Look, he’s a good kid. Just lonely. We’ll find him,” Dorsey said. She had to walk past Steve to get out of the cottage and as she did he patted her on the butt.
“Go get ‘em, tiger,” he said. “And Jack, you can go back to the pool. Dorsey has it covered.”
Jack felt his neck tense and his hands form fists. He couldn’t believe Steve had touched her that way. And he didn’t care what Steve said, he’d help Dorsey find Tade, and tell her to stay away from Steve.
Jack caught up to her by the golf cart, climbing into the driver’s seat. “Does he do that often? Touch you like that?”
He saw her shudder. “No, that was a first, but it’s nothing I can’t handle, really,” Dorsey answered, but Jack didn’t believe her. And he didn’t trust Steve. “Let’s focus on finding Tade.”
Jack didn’t say anything, but he knew if he saw Steve touch her like that again, there would be trouble and he’d be the one making it. He reached over and squeezed Dorsey’s hand, and she smiled at him.
“He’s probably on the backside of the island,” Dorsey said, and she directed him down the beach, past the swimming complex and around a bend. A small creek poured into the ocean there, Jack saw as he pulled to a stop in the golf cart. A sign marked the end of the Top Club Plantation and the beginning of the “backside” of the island.
Jack had yet to venture past the creek, and hadn’t been off the plantation since he’d arrived this year. The backside belonged to the island’s natives, as Steve called them, and it remained a tangle of moss-covered live oak trees, pine trees, dirt roads and mysteries. When he was a kid on vacation on Indigo Island, he’d explored back here, too.
Jack stared into the thick dark woods. “You ok going in there? I can go find him if you’d like to stay here, rest your foot?”
“If Tade wasn’t afraid to venture back there, I’m not,” Dorsey said, although Jack suspected she sounded braver than she was.
Jack led the way along the sandy bank of the creek into the island. Inland, the heat was stifling. The dense hum of bugs hung in the thick air. No ocean breeze reached here. Dorsey followed closely behind, following Jack and the snaking water, and started calling Tade’s name.
“Hey Dorsey!” the boy said, his voice coming from somewhere inside the thick woods.
“Come out here, would you? You promised not to run away. You said you’d be at the Kids Cottage everyday,” Dorsey said, putting her hands on her hips but not budging from her spot on the creek bed.
“Come meet my friend,” Tade said, suddenly appearing at the edge of the woods, a smile stretched across his face. “She’s awesome, she teaches me so much. Oh, hi Jack.”
“What could you be learning out here?” Jack said.
“Lots. You’ll walk around the world three times in your lifetime. Cool, huh? Come meet her.”
“What? Who are you talking about?” Dorsey asked. “Come here right now.”
“No, you come with me,” Tade said, and disappeared into the woods.
Jack and Dorsey didn’t have a choice, so they followed, reluctant but captivated by his excitement. Not only was Jack afraid to lose him, but also he needed to know that his friend was a safe person for a ten-year-old boy to be hanging out with. Jack grabbed Dorsey’s hand reflexively. The bolt of electricity shot through him.
“Tade, slow down!” he demanded, worried about Dorsey’s foot. He could hear her panting from her sprint through the thick tangle of grass, vines, and pine trees. Finally Tade
came to a stop in front of a seemingly deserted tin-roofed shack. The place reminded Jack of the slave cabins he’d seen in the black-and-white etchings in the inn’s art gallery. The roof was the color of the inside of a can of soup. The gray wooden walls were covered with tabby—ground oyster shells—and had leaned toward each other over the years and away from the sloped front porch three steps above the ground.
The cabin was stuck in time—in black and white itself, as the pine-tree and live—oak canopy above forced the sunlight to work hard to break through. The front door was a dusty red, and light blue shutters framed two small, steely windows. Jack felt sure if he stepped onto the porch, he’d fall through to the dirt. He had to get Tade and Dorsey back to the plantation, back to the environment where he was in control.
“Come on, Tade,” he said, placing an arm protectively on the boy’s small shoulders. “Let’s get out of here. We really aren’t supposed to be out here.” Jack noticed the windows on either side of the door, although partially covered by the shutters, were polished clear.
Tade noticed him looking at the shutters. “I love that color blue, don’t you? It’s called haint blue and it’s the color of heaven. The blue keeps the devil away at night. The bad guys are called haints—you get it?” Tade said.
“No, I don’t. Let’s go,” Dorsey said, and started pulling him backward by his arm.
“Hey, Barbara, I brought my friends, Dorsey and Jack, to see you,” Tade said.
“Oh honestly, chile, I’m in no shape to be having company,” a deep, gravelly yet singsong Southern voice said from inside the shack.
Jack realized whoever lived here had heard what he said about the island. “Oh, please don’t come out on our account, ma’am. We’ve just come to take Tade back before his parents know he’s gone. We’re sorry to disturb you, ma’am.”
“No problem. He’s a fine boy. Lonely boy. But a nice boy,” the woman said, as the old red door opened a crack. From below the porch, Jack saw the woman’s smooth, walnut-colored face. Wisps of cotton-white mingled with her black hair, pulled back tightly into a bun.