"Shut up and get out of my sight. I'm not done with you yet, but for right now I don't have time for your selfish shit this morning."
I was glad to be dismissed. It took everything I had not to run from that kitchen, and him. I walked with my arms around myself and I tried not to feel beaten, and broken, as I headed into the garden. It was March and I was cold, but the ground was soft from a recent tilling as I crouched there with my skirts gathered around my knees to keep them clean.
Crying wouldn't help anything. But I still let the tears fall.
It wasn't long before the pack started to notice me. I'd thought that nothing would change, not until tonight with the claiming anyway, but as the men looked at me, letting the gazes linger on me far too long, I knew I'd been wrong to assume things would stay the same for even a few more hours.
I was twenty-one now. Considered an adult in the pack in all matters. I was able to bear children, to take a mate, even temporarily, and it seemed that every male member of the pack had figured that out. I was quickly turning and walking right back toward the house.
But I was stuck between not wanting to see my father again so soon, and not wanting to be around the wolves at my back either. They'd only looked, so far at least, but looking was enough. More than enough. I'd never noticed those looks before but this had to be what every member of the pack that was unfortunate enough to be born with a vagina went through. I wondered if they had all felt just as trapped, just as naked and raw as I did right then as I put my hands on the side of my house and tried to force myself to breathe through the panic, and the fear, that threatened to swallow me whole right then and there.
I hated feeling so helpless within my own pack. If I'd been born with a penis I wouldn't have to feel this way. Not ever. My concern would only be on how strong I was. How good I was at fighting. And how many babies I could help create. They had it easy. I turned around and I looked at them. I met their gazes. I tried to show them that I wasn't afraid of them and that I wouldn't be an easy mark, despite the racing of my heart and the way my hands shook. I was still the alpha's child, no matter what they thought they were going to get to do to me at sunset, and that came with some level of protection.
The pack had honor, or at least it was supposed to. No one touched a woman until she'd been claimed. I held onto that truth like a layer of armor around me as I stared each of them down until they went back to minding their own business. I was not on display for them. Not yet at least. And they had no right to treat me like I was.
An old porch swing hung ten feet to my left and I gratefully went to it and then sank down on it. Without the men there to stare at me I no longer needed to run inside to hide away for the rest of the day, but I was no so brave that I wanted to leave the safety of my house either. The best answer, really the only answer at that point, was to sit there on the swing and try not to let them see my tears.
Chapter Three
Vallen
"Ainsley, get up," I said as I came into his room. He lived in the coven townhouses, making him easy to find, and I had the key. All of the elders did. I hadn't used it before, but I'd kept it close just in case. Though I hadn't anticipated wanting to use his key for this purpose. Not ever.
He groaned and turned over to look at me. I ignored the woman in his bed, and she seemingly didn't care about me either as she turned away from me, taking the sheet with her.
"What time is it?" he grumbled.
"Four."
Ainsley sighed. "I don't have to be at work for another three hours. What's going on?" He had the good sense to sit up and pull his pants back on.
I tossed him a towel. He would need a shower before we could get going. "You're driving me to the werewolf compound. I want to speak to Novak."
Ainsley stared at me for a good five minutes, then he slowly shook his head. "That's an hour outside of the city."
"Which is why I need you to drive me. I can't be exposed to the sun that long."
He nodded his understanding, and then he was up and walking toward the bathroom. "Human, whatever your name is, I need you to go."
"I'll make coffee," I offered as I stepped out of his bedroom. She came out a few minutes later, looking annoyed at me, at least at first, and then she seemed to figure out who I was as she gathered up the last of her things as quickly as she could before taking off.
"She seems pleasant," I joked with Ainsley as he came out of his bedroom looking much more awake in a pressed light green button down shirt and a pair of dark gray slacks.
Ainsley smiled at me and took the cup of coffee I offered him. "What's your plan? Go talk to Novak and see if he'll be nicer to his son?"
With how Novak had been up to that point in not accepting who Tad was at all, at least as far as I could tell from what Tad had told me and Novak's own silence on the matter, I didn't think talking to him would do any of us any good. "I think a more drastic plan is in order here. I spoke to the vampire council an hour ago. They've agreed to back me up, should Tad decide to leave his pack and come with me today. Vampires won't be allowed to suddenly start funneling werewolves out of their packs, but I believe they're curious enough about Tad and his situation to grant an exception this once."
Ainsley cocked his head to the side. "Have you considered what it would mean? Having a child born from both of you? Would it even be a viable pairing? We're not supposed to mix with them."
No, we weren't. And that was a stumbling place for me most certainly. "This is likely my one, and only, chance to have a child in this lifetime or any other. I was denied that chance back when I was a human and things were far simpler. Now, with Tad, I have that possibility back. I'll take it and run with it, no matter what the consequences are."
Ainsley gave me one of his quick, easy smiles. "I don't babysit very well. I'm telling you that right now."
"That's fine. I doubt I'll let my child out of my sight anytime soon anyway." I chuckled and allowed myself to daydream of a future where I had a child. I had the moments to spare while Ainsley finished getting ready and when he was done I was quick to follow him out of the townhouse and to my car.
I slid into the backseat where the windows were tinted much darker and pulled the shade down in front of me to block the sun streaming through the windshield as well. There was no bursting into flames and instant death from the sun, but it did wear me out to be in it for more than a few minutes.
"I knew you wanted kids, but I didn't know you were so ready to jump in to get them," Ainsley idly said as he quickly tapped away on his phone, getting his music to play through my speakers.
It wasn't yet sunset so we still had time. I didn't mind him taking a few extra minutes now to adjust things in my car to where he was comfortable with them.
"My only chance," I said again.
He nodded and pulled out of the parking spot.
We were quiet as I drove, him focusing on the road, and me thinking about my child, dreaming of holding them and reading to them. I'd always wanted children and I had tried to have them plenty of times but each attempt had ended in the same terrible result and I was left without what I wanted most.
I could have adopted a child. Certainly. The adoption laws had long since been opened up to include vampires and werewolves in their perspective parents. But there were things about my life that I didn't think a human child could understand. And the adoptable children were all humans. I'd searched for years and I'd been approved to adopt from multiple agencies. But no child that wasn't a human ever became available. And so I'd given up hope of ever finding my child by going that route.
And here Tad was, offering himself up to me, and giving me exactly what I'd always wanted. The money wasn't an issue for me. He could have asked for many times that sum and I still would have given it to him instantly. I doubted though that I would have even been considering seeing him again if he hadn't promised me a child. I was not in the habit of associating with werewolves, and I wanted to be rescuing one from their pack even less.
/> But I could not let the possibility of having my own child fall away so easily. It hadn't taken me long to figure out that I would be going to Tad. It had taken a few hours though for me to get everything in order for him in my house and in my world. Werewolves weren't allowed anywhere near our inner workings. Even alphas only saw the fringes of our society, and only by our allowance.
Tad was giving me a child and I had been determined to make sure that he, and our child, would be welcome in every aspect of my life. I'd spent hours talking to the different vampire leaders and explaining the situation to them. The council had ultimately been my last phone call, but it had certainly not been my first.
When we were ten minutes away from the large werewolf compound, Ainsley stopped to get us gas and coffee. He looked strained as he stood there in the sunlight rubbing at his eyes and drinking his caffeine. He was young enough that the sun didn't bother him as much as it did me, but he was still not completely unaffected.
I rolled down the window enough to talk to him, but only just. That little sliver of sunlight was far more than enough for me as it was. "After we get Tad back to my place, you can have the rest of the night off. You look tired."
"The sun is out. Of course I'm tired," he grumbled. He finished his coffee, and put the gas nozzle back. Then we were off again. "But thanks. I could use a few more hours of sleep."
I could too. I hadn't laid down for more than an hour so far.
Finding the werewolves wasn't the hard part. We all knew where their large compound was. There were so many houses and outbuildings that it was hard to miss. They could probably see it from the space station. No, finding it wasn't hard. But finding a parking spot in front of the main house apparently was.
"The whole pack must be here," I grumbled as Ainsley parked my sedan between two obnoxiously large SUVs with perfect paint jobs that were far too shiny to be anything more than grocery getters and statement pieces. I wasn't impressed.
Ainsley turned around and looked back at me. "There are a lot of werewolves here. What if they don't want to let Tad go so easily?"
I'd considered that, and while I was more than capable of taking on a few werewolves, I didn't want Ainsley or Tad to get hurt in the process.
As we sat there in the middle of all those werewolf cars reeking of wet dogs I decided to call Ronald, the highest ranking werewolf I knew, and someone Novak would have to listen to.
He answered before the first ring ended. "Isn't it a little early for you to be doing business? I thought your kind didn't venture out before the sun was down."
"I'm making an exception this once. Ronald, I want to take a werewolf for a husband but I don't think his father is going to be so keen on the idea. I'd like to be able to call on you for support, should the need arise." I tapped my fingers over my knee and wished this call wasn't necessary. But I was also in no position to start a war with the werewolves.
Ronald snorted. I'd expected his disbelief. "Does the wolf want to be with you as well?"
"Yes. We are very much in love." Sometimes a bit of lying was required, especially when it saved time explaining things to someone who didn't need to know all the details.
"Are they over their age of maturity?"
I was glad to know what that was now. "Yes, he is. Do I have your blessing?"
He chuckled. "I never thought I'd be saying this, but yes. You have my blessing to be married to a werewolf. Take care, Vallen. I expect an invitation to the wedding."
"Of course."
I hung up quickly, and then I found Ainsley smiling at me. "What?"
"You're having a wedding now. It's a very human tradition."
He was right. I hadn't heard of a vampire even attending a wedding in decades. "Yes, and apparently it's a werewolf tradition as well. Come on, let's go get this done." I was anxious to get Tad and leave this place. I wasn't looking for trouble, but I was prepared for it as we got out of my car and started weaving our way through the forty or so cars that had been parked across the front lawn of the largest house in the compound.
I'd been there once before, nearly a decade ago. We were told to try to make nice with the werewolves and so I'd gone, along with my then assistant. Novak had given me a tea spiced with the blood of a deer the pack had recently killed. I wondered now if Tad had been in the house then. If he'd seen me back then, and what the child he'd been had thought of me.
The age difference didn't deserve a second thought. I was nearly five hundred. Only another vampire would have been close to me in age and we, as a general rule, didn't believe in marriage or in any form of commitment really. We were loyal, to a degree, and some far more than others, but that was about it.
Ainsley, I was sure, felt differently. He'd only been a vampire for around twenty years. He was still so close to being human that sometimes I caught myself sniffing the air and realizing it was his blood I was seeking out. Those moments were unnerving, but they were one of the many reasons I often didn't take assistants as newly turned as he was. Despite his young vampire age though, he'd excelled at every task I had put in front of him, and that was more than enough reason to continue to keep him around.
He stepped in front of me when we made it to the front door. He knocked, announcing me, then stepped aside so that I could greet whatever werewolf happened to come to the door.
It took me a lot longer than it should have to recognize Tad when he opened the door. To my credit, he was wearing a long white dress and I hadn't expected his black hair to be as long as it was, but his features were still the same.
"Vallen? What are you doing here?" he quickly demanded.
A noise behind him drew his attention for a moment, and I took that opportunity to step up to him. Seeing him first had just become a huge advantage. "Did you mean what you said this morning? Are you still serious about becoming my husband and having my child?"
I was so close to him that I knew the moment his voice caught. "Yes. If you want me to run away with you, I will. Anything to be away from here right now."
I moved past him, but I did slide my hand to his side. To his credit, he didn't look uncomfortable being in a vampire's arms. Confused, absolutely. And a bit curious too. But not uncomfortable. And he certainly wasn't scared either. "We're not running. That would only lead them to chase us down. I have Ronald's permission to take you away from your pack and with him backing our marriage your father will have no choice but to allow us to be together."
I heard people coming toward us, and seconds later I smelled them for the wolves they were. Ainsley moved closer to us, either seeking my protection or hoping to protect me. Either way, it was good that he was staying close. I wanted the new wolves to hear what I said so I raised my voice. "I love you. I always want to be with you. And now, with Ronald's blessing, we'll be married. I'm only sorry it took so long to get his approval."
The heavy-handed lie was hard to pull off with a straight face, but it was necessary. Especially when I realized that Novak was there. I turned my attention from Tad to his father. I didn't force niceties with him. I could have, and probably should have, offered him my hand, but he was already scowling at me and I thought giving him my hand would have been too much for either of us right then.
"Caroline? What is this?" he demanded.
I didn't miss the way Tad flinched at the name, or at his father's tone.
"I'm going to be your son in law," I told Novak.
He snarled and bared his teeth at me. Not to be intimidated or outdone, I did the same to him. I'd expected this confrontation to go about this way. Novak didn't want to lose his son, especially not to a vampire. And I'd gone behind his back as well by calling in Ronald before even talking to Novak. I saw his point in being angry with me, though if he had accepted Tad for who he was then I wouldn't have had to have become involved at all so that was largely on him from where I stood.
I moved Tad aside, then glanced back at Ainsley. "Take Tad to his room and get his things together. Don't waste time."
; I didn't lower my voice so it was no surprise when Novak growled at me again. We weren't going to be waiting around and having a nice dinner. I wanted Tad, and Ainsley, out of there as quickly as possible. I didn't owe Novak anything. Not an explanation, not my friendship, not even my address so that he could visit his son in the future. If Tad wanted to give him that, he could. I certainly wasn't going to stand in the way of him having a relationship with his father if he wanted one someday. But this, Tad being forced to pretend to be Caroline and submit to the ways of his pack, that was ending right now.
Novak charged up to me. I was surprised that he was still able to keep the shape of a man with how much anger I smelled dripping off of him. The vein in his neck pulsed with his rage and though I was tempted, I could just imagine how tainted his blood would be by those strong emotions right then. He had made himself practically undrinkable.
"What do you think you're doing?"he hissed at me.
I faced him down. We were the same height, though I was far leaner than he was with all of his bulky muscle. Either way, I wasn't afraid of him. "I'm taking your son away from you." I spoke quietly, but there was no mistaking my words. I did not stutter. And I did not hesitate.
"I'll put a stake through your heart for this."
That always was the old threat with them. "You could try. But, since I have Ronald's blessing, that might be a problem for you. Though, if you're intending to start a war..."
He blanched. And then he stepped back. If he'd been in his other form right then I would have imagined that his tail was between his legs. I'd been right to call in a werewolf higher ranking than him. Going against me would mean going against Ronald and Novak wouldn't do that.
"Take my daughter and get out of my sight," Novak bit out. He wasn't looking at me, but I could still see the reddening of his cheeks as his anger grew.
Defying His Fate Page 2