Marena's gaze intensified as she narrowed her eyes. The girl stood a little taller as if to remind her friend she had four inches on her. Shay wasn't one to be easily intimidated, especially by someone she'd grown up around, but she couldn't help it. It had been a long time since someone had stood up to her.
"Remember that the doctor said back at the CDC?"
"I prefer not to think about that place or that man." She spat coolly, never breaking eye contact.
"He said something about not expecting our loved ones to survive to. He said something about it not being genetic. That right there is enough to prove you wrong. I can tell there's a lot more to this thing than what he told us- even if we're the genie pigs to his precious little experiment they never tell the subjects everything. We got a little part that seemed like everything."
She swallowed hard. She'd been trying to erase certain words the doctor had said to them, the ones about the loved ones especially. She was left dumbfounded. If there was anything they hadn't been told several days ago it had to be for good reason, right? They had probably heard more than they should have then anyways. She didn't know how to respond. Instead, she just kept shaking her head from side to side, softly muttering no over and over again.
"I don't want to hear it." She declared. Marena shot her a hazel glare.
"You will eventually. It's just a theory, nothing to lose sleep over." She replied nonchalantly, returning her gaze to the lightning in the distance.
"Nothing to lose sleep over? Nothing? You haven't lost sleep over a damned thing, Marena! Things don't bother you like they bother me. We cope in different ways. Best friends or not, we are nowhere near as much alike as we want to be." She spat coldly, instantly knowing she'd crossed a line when the words flew out of her mouth. Marena shifted on her heels, putting more distance between her and Shay's faces.
"You don't know how I sleep! I just think about things. I'm giving this whole thing a deeper thought than you, obviously." She seethed back at her, her nostrils flaring. Shay felt her cheeks flush as the argument continued to escalate. She didn't expect there would be fighting between the Carriers, as they had to fight everyone outside of the group- but, if an internal scrimmage was to happen, she never would have expected it be against her best friend.
"So then tell me, miss know-it-all, is there even anything to give a thought to? No! It's just who we are now- the Carriers, America's most wanted, the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, whatever creative title the media decided to give us today, we can't escape it! It's what we are now!" She screeched, voice breaking a shrill point. Marena inched a little bit more away, her visage remaining calm.
"That's not what I meant by think about it, Shay. What I meant was, why? Do you ever think why we ended up as Carriers, or why other people are Immune and others aren't?"
"No, because there is nothing more to it than you got lucky and you didn't. That's how life works. It fucks over some people and leaves others totally fine." She snarled back. There wasn't a way there was anything more to it…
"If that is really the case then the universe really must hate us. The doctor ever told us it was a population control disease. If it really was just a game of luck there's no way eight out of nine people in that room would end up being Immune, yet alone Carriers, who the man said himself are 'extra special.' If you're wondering why I think this, it's because genocide is organized, Shay." Marena hissed, closing the distance between them in one swift step before glowering down at her, looking straight into her eyes.
She felt herself falter as she tried to speak. After a few attempts and nothing but garbled words came out she bit her tongue, trying to process everything that had just come out of Marena's mouth. She didn't want it to make sense, yet it did. If it was just a game of luck all eight of them would not have walked out of there as Carriers.
"But what's done is done. We can't undo the past. We can't scrub the blood of our hands and we can't go back and stop us from going in the box. Sometimes things are better when we don't know the whole truth." Marena stated, all anger from her face dissipating- her way of saying the argument was over.
"You can't just tell me something and not finish! Tell me Marena, what's your crazy fucking theory about this? Please, I'd really like to know!" Shay shouted, standing up on her toes so the height difference was minimalized. Engulfed in her own arrogance she couldn't take the hint the argument was over.
"Shut up Shay, just shut the fuck up! I tried to be calm about this, but there's only so much even I can take. I forgot why everyone called you a bitch, but I remember why now- because you are one! You don't listen to anyone but yourself and your little clique of skanks. I'm sure you'd rather have them here instead of me!" She was shouting now, her voice drowning out the thunder. Her breathing was fast and ragged, a look of pain reflected in her hazel eyes. It pained her to see those emotions in the eyes of her best friend- especially when she had caused them.
"That's a bunch of bullshit and you know it. All the times they decided to be a bitch to me just because, you were the only one that never left my side. You never repeated a word I told you. Plus, you're not scared of the things they would be." She barked, although the harshness in her tone wasn't intended. She spoke the truth, after all- if she had to choose one person to be by her side in a time like this, it would be Marena hands down.
"Kate would fight." Marena replied with her eyes downcast.
"She's too immature."
"So was Katrina and she stepped up."
"Stop being a dumbass, you know I would take you alone over the entire bunch of them."
The hurt had since faded from Marena's eyes. She smiled weakly and Shay did the same. All anger had evaporated from both of them at the same time, as if the entire argument had never happened. They'd rarely fought in the entire twelve years they'd been friends- there was nothing except death that would be capable of tearing them apart.
Lighting flashed and a loud crack of thunder shook the floor beneath their feet. Fat raindrops started to gush from the sky almost immediately after, hitting both the girls.
"Plus, if my theory is right, Kaye, Lana, and Leah won't survive this."
"Let's just drop it and go inside before we get struck by lightning."
Chapter 19
The girls stumbled inside as fast raindrops pelted against their back, leaving circular wet marks on their clothing. The air conditioning of the motel room hit them full blast as the door slammed behind them, bathing them in darkness. Shay ran her fingers through her wet hair as a flash of lightning illuminated the room, lighting the path to the bed. Thunder shook the floor beneath her feet as it followed the lightning, a loud crack that almost made her jump. Sounds way too much like a gunshot.
"Night," she whispered briskly to Marena as the tall girl made her way to the other bed.
"Night." She replied softly from across the room. That was all they said to each other. It was difficult to stay mad at one another, but the sting of the words was still fresh.
Upon settling back into bed and wasting a few moments getting comfortable, Carson could be heard snickering beside her. He was awake? How much did he hear? She wondered with annoyance. They'd left the room in an effort to block him and his commentaries out from the conversation.
"Girls make me wish I had popcorn," he chuckled, loud enough so Marena could hear on the other side of the room. Shay took her pillow out from under her head and struck him across the face playfully.
"Shut up."
Lightning flashed again, illuminating his face as he propped the pillow under his head.
"Thanks for the pillow, babe."
Rolling her eyes she playfully shoved his head off the pillows, retrieving hers and promptly resting her head on it.
"Goodnight Carson." She growled, closing her eyes. As far as she was concerned, the conversation was over. He seemed to get the hint, for he shut his mouth and rolled over onto his side, facing the window. After a few minutes, the black wave of sleep consumed her.
She stood in an empty street, surrounded by burning buildings and scattered debris. The air was acrid, black smoke forcing its way into her lungs, burning her throat. She was alone, silence filling the street. The world seemed hazy, occasionally blurring out as she stumbled her way along, hoping she didn't trip on anything.
Her forehead felt welt. Curiously, she moved her fingers to her head, expecting to find sweat. Her fingers came away drenched in red. As her eyes traveled downwards something lying by her feet caught her eye. Moving her hand, she was almost sick.
Although the person was lying face down it wasn't hard to tell who it was. Blonde hair running past sharp shoulder blades, one of her long, boney legs twisted at an impossible angle. She knew it was Marena. Using her foot to nudge the body over she felt terror swell in her chest. Marena's eyes were wide open, the life long gone from them. Several bullet holes riddled her chest and her shirt was soaked with blood.
Shay sank to her knees, hands over her mouth as a small cry escaped her throat. Her knees were dangerously close to the puddle of blood that surrounded the body of her best friend, yet she couldn't be concerned with getting blood on her. She was too consumed by the horrible sight.
Down at a new vantage point she could see more of the street- and what littered it. Off to her right was another body, this time lying face up. She crawled her way over to it, suddenly feeling as if all the strength has been drained from her bones. The gore of this scene was much less than the one before, one clean shot to the head from the looks of it. Carson's dark eyes were still open, glazed over. She could see her reflection clearly in his lifeless eyes.
"Oh, God, please, no." She cried as she shrank away, trying to blink away the images of the bodies of her best friend and boyfriend. As she did her foot collided with something. Instantly fearing what she would see she fought with herself not to turn around, even while her body seemed to move without her consent.
Behind her was another body, as she had expected. What she didn't see coming was the identity of the victim- another blonde that was leaner and shorter than Marena. She was face down, but the blonde hair than ran to the middle of her back was enough for her to know who it was- she was staring at her own body.
Suddenly mottled with shock she tried to shy away, but found her body still moving against her command. Her hands found cold, dead flesh and pushed, rolling her own body over. She almost threw up. Her brown eyes were wide open; the rings around her pupils still there even in death. Her lips were parted, allowing blood to trickle between. Right before her temple was a bullet wound, surrounded by blood and chunks of flesh- a wound similar to Carson's.
So that's why my head was bloody, she told herself as she felt her body stand. After seeing a very dead Shay on the ground she wasn't sure just exactly what she was- a ghost, perhaps? It would make sense. The world wouldn't be this silent with eight bodies littering the street. As she stood she saw every one, all eight of the Carriers scattered across the street, resting in puddles of their own blood. Katrina, Kyleigh, Owen, Laylia and Jaycee were all dead as well. They'd all perished. What kind of leader was she if she failed to keep even one of her followers alive?
She didn't know, for she couldn't do anything but scream.
She awoke with a start, a cold sweat drenching her body. Soft rays of light were beginning to filter in through the blinds. The morning chirps of birds could be heard through the thin walls from outside. Beside her, Carson snored softly. Her hands immediately flew to her head, expecting to find a bullet hole, only there was none. Unlike in the dream, the wetness on her forehead really was sweat.
"It was just a dream. We're still here, we're alright," she told herself as she ran her fingers through her hair, breathing deeply. It had felt so real. Her worst fears had manifested into some malevolent dream that depicted a very possible end to their lives, and that was what scared her- that it really was likely they'd all go out with a bullet to the head.
"Nightmare?" Someone whispered from across the room. Shay cocked her head to the side to see Marena rolled over underneath the covers, blinking sleep away from her eyes as she watched her.
"We were dead. All of us." She responded blankly, staring forwards to the wall.
"Well, everyone dies eventually."
"No, you don't understand. I was walking around literally stumbling over everyone's corpses. You? Shot. Carson? Shot. Me? Shot. Everyone? Shot. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get the image out of my head." She spat back, her tone hard.
Marena's features darkened. She pursed her lips for a moment before replying.
"Well, you always did have crazy dreams Shay."
"Yeah, but this wasn't crazy. It felt so real, Marena. That's not even what bothered me. What bothers me is that it really could happen." She turned her head and their eyes met. Just by the look in her hazel eyes she could tell Marena understood. She knew. She knew exactly as well as she just what kind of odds they were up against.
"I'm tempted to pull a Carson and call you Sourpuss Shay, but this time you're just being a negative realist so I'll refrain. I do agree, it could very well happen, but that's why we're fighting, right?"
She took a few moments to reply, thinking over a good answer in her head. They were doing what they do to stay alive, that was true, but this kind of thing never ended well. A band of teenagers wanted by an entire country couldn't all survive. But we've made it this far. Maybe it's different this time.
"Yeah, I think that's the way everyone sees it. Do or die." Marena shrugged her shoulders and dragged herself out of bed. Shay did the same, stopping to stretch before shuffling over to the sink. In efforts to wash away the haze of sleep she twisted the knob and cupped her hands beneath the stream of water, waiting before they were full to splash water on her face. The cold helped her wake up right away.
"Wanna go get breakfast?" Marena asked as she made her way to the bathroom.
"Sure. Soggy fruit loops sounds good for once, actually."
"You love fruit loops, genius."
"I know. I'll go wake up Carson."
It was sunset again. They'd wasted an entire day watching tv and drifting in and out of sleep. It was nice to be able to relax, even if they all knew it would only be temporary. Eventually the time came to pack up and the move on, but they didn't get far- despite what had happened the last time, someone suggested stopping at another bar.
So there they were, glossed up and bandaged yet again, arguing who was going to sneak them in that time. They'd gotten in before because Kyleigh had accidentally infected the bouncer- nobody was exactly willing to knowingly infect another.
"We could always just knock them out." Owen added, shrugging his shoulders. All eyes shifted to him.
"Let's try to not result to violence if at all possible," Shay growled. She wasn't sure she agreed with the decision to come to another bar after what happened last time, but leader or not she couldn't overturn seven requests.
"But what if we have to?" Kyleigh asked, picking her fingernails.
"Then we do. I think we all know that by now." She responded quickly. "But this time, there's going to be rules. No just prancing around taking shots and flirting with whoever you see."
"Oh come on, this is supposed to be a way for us to relax-" Katrina started, but she cut her off.
"It's just a few simple rules, I'm sure you can live with that." A sideways glance confirmed there would be no further protest. "Alright, one- don't get drunk. If you can handle your alcohol, fine, drink, see me try to stop you, but if you get too drunk to run if the cops show up then God help me I'll leave you here. Two- No hooking up. I'd assume I wouldn't have to worry about this, as touching anyone basically gives them a death sentence, but we've been through a lot and the circumstances might be changing. Just a precaution."
A car pulled in to the parking space besides the one they were standing in, momentarily breaking the conversation. As if it was a shared thought for all eight of them their heads snapped down, eyes downcast. Once the driver h
ad gone inside they lifted their heads.
"Right, going on- three- don't attract any unnecessary attention. This could get us in a lot of trouble if we do. I know that Carson, Marena, Katrina and I all have guns but we want to try to avoid having to use them." She barked sternly, standing with her usual confident posture. If they could read her, they'd know she meant business.
Several heads bobbed up and down as if to agree. Her eyes flickered to Laylia, who was standing with her arms crossed and chin up. Alright, let's see me try to keep you alive then, bitch.
"Any other objections?" She growled, dark eyes locked firmly on Laylia. She saw something flicker in the girl's eyes. Mission accomplished. Most of them shook their heads.
"Nobody objects, Miss Alpha." Laylia mocked smoothly, a slight smirk hovering on her lips. All heads turned to her then Shay and back again, waiting for what she'd do. Back in school nobody could ever insult her and get off lightly. She wasn't going to stoop to Laylia's level, not yet anyways. There was a time and place for everything, and despite how much she wanted to act on the feelings of anger burning inside her, this wasn't the right moment.
"Except for you, but I could have a drastic change in heart and still not give a shit what you think," she shot back with a smirk, knowing it would be enough to shut her up for now. That was as far as it needed to be taken for the moment.
As typical to their age group the others all conjoined in a chorus of stretched out oo's, as one usually did when someone insulted another.
"I figured you would have known not to piss her off by now," Carson muttered, following Shay as she turned heel and made her way towards the bar. "She does have a gun."
"I also occasionally have self-control," she retorted.
"Only when it will be valuable to screw someone over later," he said with a grin as she strode up beside her. "So I'm guessing that's what you're planning on doing."
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