Her shoulders were shaking and her knuckles had gone white. She instantly diverted her gaze to the ground, nervous to see Carson's reaction. She'd snapped. She'd snapped at Carson, the one she loved, over any other person. He'd seen her when she was at a low point before yet this, this was something new. I'm losing my mind.
Instead of shying away Carson scooted closer, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her in tight towards his chest. She pressed her cheek up against him, feeling the drum of his heart against her skin. Instantly she felt the strength of her emotions begin to wean- something about being in his arms always soothed her, as if nothing could hurt her. Most would say she was too young to understand love, but there, in that moment, she believed she knew what it was, and she believed she'd found it.
"Of course you didn't ask for this, why would you? You became our leader by default. It wasn't something we ever discussed, you just kind of fell into it. Taking charge comes naturally to you and it's a good thing it does, because nobody else here would have lasted as long as you have under half the pressure. You're not a failure, Shay. You've kept us together and you've kept us fighting. Sure, you can no longer say you've kept everyone alive, but did you really expect we'd never have a fatality?" Carson said quietly, his hand on her neck.
She sighed into his shirt, closing her eyes as she did. She almost had thought they couldn't be killed, that they'd become some indestructible force and it had taken Jaycee's death to wake her up from that illusion. They might know what they were doing now but they were still no better off than they were when they first began. More of them would die; it was only a matter of time. She just prayed it wouldn't be someone she cared for.
"I think I might have, for a little while there. I got cocky," she responded, voice low.
"Being cocky is in your nature."
She smiled weakly. "It's in yours too, smartass."
"Surely you can be a little more creative than that," he teased, flashing her the signature wry grin.
Following that there was a moment of silence where they both just stared into each other's eyes, completely lost. She'd always loved his big dark eyes. She could sense what was about to happen and she knew he could too- they could read each other like an open book. The moment was right and neither of them intended to let it slip by.
Carson seized his chance, moving in and kissing her slowly. She wrapped her arms around his waist as his hands cupped her face gently, thumb brushing across her jawbone. All her thoughts and worries had evaporated, replaced by a warm bliss that consumed her whole body. She'd forgotten how wonderfully soft his lips felt against hers.
Eventually she broke away, instantly missing the warmth of his lips on hers. She placed her hands on his shoulders, leaning over to brush her mouth along his ear.
"Yeah, I did know it was only a matter of time. I'm just glad I didn't lose you."
He turned his head and kissed her lightly. It was a quick kiss, hardly lasting more than a few seconds. His fingers found her chin and he tilted her head upwards so he could gaze into her eyes.
"You're not going to lose me Shay. I promise. I love you."
"I love you too, Carson."
She was never surer that she meant it.
Chapter 24
They returned soon after, slowly stepping into the firelight with their hands still intertwined. Shay stepped on a twig and it snapped beneath her feet, alerting the others they'd returned. Katrina, Marena, Axel and Owen were all present, sitting around the small fire in a circle. They all turned to look at them, Marena instantly rising to her feet when her eyes fell upon them.
"I need to talk to you." She said firmly, striding right over to her. She released Carson's hand and he nodded, walking over and sitting down next to Axel in the dirt. Marena grabbed her by her bicep and tugged her back into the darkness of the woods.
She stopped as soon as they were out of earshot, halting just inside a clearing turned silver in the moonlight. She sat and patted the grass next to her, beckoning for Shay to sit. She did, crossing her legs and sitting with a straight back.
"Has anyone ever told you that you sit really straight?" Marena teased, her smirk wide.
"Carson has."
"Oh Carson likes cowgirls, does he?"
"Marena!" She snapped, struggling to hold back her laughter. Only Marena could say things like that to her and get away with it- anyone else and she might not have thought twice about hitting them. In seconds they were both laughing. She was in a lot better state of mind since Carson came and talked to her, something she was grateful for. If Marena had brought her out here to discuss Jaycee's death with her she might as well go back now. She didn't want to hear the same speech again.
"What do you need to talk to me about?" She said cautiously, expecting to be consoled yet again. Carson had done his job- she didn't need to be talked to about how it wasn't her fault. She didn't need to hear it.
"Remember the argument we had?" Marena began, clearing her throat. She winced, caught off guard. She'd hoped they would be able to stuff that into the past like most of the rough waters they sailed through- she'd been a bitch to her and she prayed she wouldn't hold a grudge. She swallowed back her worries, knowing she needed to tread lightly in the conversation.
"Yeah." She responded quickly.
"I never told you my theory. Actually, you kinda refused to hear it. I want your opinion on it, and probably Carson's, too."
She turned her head, meeting Marena's hazel gaze. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear it even then- there was too much clouding her mind at the moment to make room for even more. Stop being selfish. Let her get it off her chest. She's asking me you for your opinion and you have plenty of those.
"Well, what is it? I'm all ears."
Marena sighed slowly before she began. "We've seen a lot of people infected now. We haven't met a single person who's been a Carrier. Out of all the people at the bars and the other accidents that we've had you'd think we'd find another Carrier, or at least another Immune. We never do. That's why I don't think this is just random. It's scientifically impossible for eight out of nine of the people who walked into that damn box come out not only Immune, but as a Carrier."
Shay waited for a few moments, letting it all process. It's because genocide is organized, Shay. She remembered Marena's words from their argument two nights ago- and the more she thought about it the less she believed the Blue Plague was just picking survivors at random. It was too risky when dealing with such a thing as a population control virus to simply make it random.
"Axel's a Carrier and he wasn't in there with us," she replied, twiddling with her thumbs. Lame rebuttal there, Shay. Good one.
"Yeah, that's one person, and that's another young person. Not only have we not met any other Immune people or Carriers, we haven't met anyone over the age of sixteen who's Immune or a Carrier. I don't just think the virus is killing off the old, even though engineering a population control virus to weed out the old and the weak seems highly probable. I think there's more to it than that, but I can't put my finger on it. I want to say it's killing off dumb people, too."
She audibly scoffed at the idea. Marena shot her a look and she rubbed her neck, feeling ashamed. The first thing she'd think of, if it was revealed the Blue Plague really was engineered to kill off certain people, would be that it was killing the old and the weak. If they wanted to trim the population it made sense to go after the percentage that couldn't support themselves. It was sick, yes, but it made sense. Killing idiots didn't. It wasn't possible for a virus to go in and sort the smart from the stupid.
"The old and the weak, maybe. If this really is organized like you think that's what makes the most sense, weeding out the most useless parts of society- those who already served their purpose and those too weak to do anything. It's fucked up, but it makes sense. But killing stupid people? I can already disprove that theory- Kyleigh is Immune. Not only is she Immune, she's a Carrier. That kind of kicks the 'killing dumb people' theory in the ass."
Marena sighed and rolled her eyes. "There's always going to be flaws in the system."
She chuckled half-heartedly, still trying to process exactly what her best friend was saying. She really had no evidence to back up either claim. That's simply what it was- just a theory. It could be right or wrong. To Shay, who liked to think there was nothing deeper to the virus, it was just a bunch of ideas that didn't mean anything. Of course the doctor hadn't told them everything, but he couldn't have left out that much, could he?
"Ask Carson, I really couldn't tell you. I don't think it's possible for a virus to determine who's smart and who's stupid, Marena." She said coolly, standing up as she did. Marena followed suit, yawning as she stretched her arms towards the sky.
"As I told you before, it's just a theory. Hell, I didn't even think about it all that much. It just came to me at three a.m when I couldn't sleep."
"That makes too much goddamn sense," she shot back with a smirk. Both girls started laughing as they headed back towards camp, leaving the conversation back in the clearing behind them. It was never spoken of again.
When they returned to the campsite Carson, Axel, Katrina and Owen were sitting around the campfire, the boys talking while Katrina gazed emptily into orange flame, her knees tucked up against her chest. Her hair was wet and in her face, hiding what was most certainly a scowl.
"Something's wrong," Marena whispered in her ear, subtly pointing towards their friend.
"I'm going to buy you a Captain Obvious t-shirt," she joked back. Marena rolled her eyes.
The two girls circled around to sit by her. They flanked Katrina on either side, hardly affected when she did not acknowledge their arrival.
"Hey babe," Carson said, greeting Shay from across the campfire.
"Hola," she responded, grinning at him.
"Shay, focus." Marena barked as she snapped her fingers, regaining her attention. Both the girls turned to look at Katrina, who had not moved an inch.
"You alright?" she asked, placing her hand on Katrina's knee. "You can talk to us about it."
"I want revenge, Shay." Her voice was blank and empty, a shell of her usual attitude.
"We killed her killer," Marena said firmly, her eyes flickering up to meet Shay's.
"No, not like that. Revenge on the world for continuing to come after us, always trying to kill us. We need to show them that we can take a stand. We always fight with guns and hands. Maybe it's time we use our built-in weapon."
Marena's sharp intake of breath seemed to gather the attention of the boys. She pursed her lips, not sure how to respond. It would be wrong to go out of their way to infect people, no matter the circumstances. They did not want to embrace what they were- taking a stand, as Katrina called it, would be doing just that- giving in to the pressure.
"It doesn't have to be a lot of people, we just have to do it this once. Remind them that we're more than just scared kids. Prove that if they knock us down once we'll kick them over twice."
"Katrina, I-"
"Don't give me any of your moral ambiguity shit, Shay. I've seen you kill. You know how to shut yourself off. You of all people should want to do this as badly as I do."
She felt her lips beginning to pull back into a snarl. Her fingers curled into the dirt, all the tension in her body seemingly rushing to her fingertips. Don't snap, don't snap, don't snap. She doesn't mean what she's saying. She's in shock.
"Alright Katrina, here's the deal- you get to try your little revenge plot, but you have to plan it, and lead us through the entire thing. I hope then you will see why we don't willingly infect. Sure, revenge might sound appealing, but we have to know when it's not right. This won't give them a terrified respect for us- this will piss them off even more."
"We'll see who's right tomorrow." Katrina spat. Shay and Marena made eye contact, fear reflecting in their irises. The first death of the group created a shock-driven monster. Once the shock wore off, would Katrina's sudden bloodlust?
Chapter 25
"Katrina, I'm going to kick your ass when we're done with this," Shay hissed, eyeing her reflection in the mirror with disdain. Letting Katrina take the reins on this one was a terrible idea, and now all the girls with the exception of Laylia were paying for it.
"Why, because this was more genius than anything you ever could have thought of?" Katrina responded with a smirk, flipping a reddish brown curl over her shoulder. She rolled her eyes in response and focused back on her reflection.
They'd had some pretty bad ideas, and most of them she'd have to take responsibility for, as leader, but this one was by far the worst idea the Carriers had ever had. Letting Katrina take the reins was an awful idea in itself, but her plan was even worse than the previous idea- stealing the uniforms and dressing themselves up to be Hooters girls was about as idiotic as it was revealing. She was positive she'd never worn anything more skin-clad and low-cut in her life.
The white tank top could have essentially been a second skin- she found herself constantly tugging down at it to try to make it fit looser. It was cut low, revealing a lot more of her chest than she preferred to display. The shorts were no better, orange, probably about a size to small, and could have very well passed for spandex on her. Despite the fact her reflection told her differently she could have very well believed half of her ass was showing. She'd heard guys talk about certain things they shouldn't about her, but she'd never dressed like this. Then there she was, about to serve a bunch of older men in something she wouldn't even wear for Carson.
"Or maybe it's because we're dressed up as goddamn Hooters girls!" She sneered back, turning and pointing a finger in Katrina's direction.
"And these things," Marena spat as she tugged on her tank top, "make us look flat as an airport runway."
"It's just you, Marena, and yes, you're flat." Katrina responded back, her confident smirk just asking Marena to punch it right off her face.
"Congratulations, I'll promptly be helping Shay kick your ass when this over," she growled back, hands clenching into fists as she did.
"Oh my, I'm so scared!" She cooed back, her grin the size of Jupiter. "Now get to work ladies." She winked, flipped her hair over her shoulder and strode out into the restaurant, notepad in hand.
"Kyleigh!" Shay barked, diverting her gaze to the blue-eyed girl. She looked up from tugging down her shorts. "Go check and make sure the actual waitresses are still unconscious, okay?" Kyleigh nodded curtly, blonde curls bouncing as she hurried over to the storage closet, removing the tangle of chairs that were the barricade to peek inside.
"Well," she said, turning to Marena. "You ready to go turn on every disgusting old trucker in this place?"
Marena smirked and turned heel towards the door. "Ready as I'll ever be."
The two of them walked out into the restaurant side by side, walking as straight and confident as they possibly could. If they wanted to convince the patrons of the restaurant they were the actual waitresses they'd have to charade they were as comfortable as can be. She tried to walk for more than three steps without having to discreetly pull her shorts down, but after a while she just gave up. They'd keep riding up anyways.
She made her way over to a table with a lone man sitting at it, his hat on the table and face buried in the menu. She stopped and cleared her throat. He looked up, dark eyes gravitating towards her chest. The unwanted attention made her skin crawl- she felt violated.
Okay, do I greet him? Most waitresses seem to do that, but telling him my name would be like saying "Hey, I'm that girl on the news! The one they want crazy sums of money for! Come and get me!" There's always lying, she thought, combing over various options in her head. She could go the rude, cold and quick route, only they weren't supposed to seem unpleasant. Katrina had stressed it enough she wanted their charade to be believable, and a rude waitress usually got fired fast.
"Hi I'm Mindy and I'll be your server today," she lied with a big smile, trying to pull off her best hostess attitude. She was flying blind wh
en it came to how these things went- she'd never waited on a person once in her life. "What would you like to drink?"
"Coke please," he said back. She quickly scrawled it down on the notepad and left, almost positive he was staring at her rear as she walked away.
She stalked over to the bar and found Kyleigh was working it, busy pouring a glass of beer for a younger man. The young man was flirting with her, Kyleigh mostly responding with "oh yeah?" and "really?" accompanied with a large smile. Her eyes never left Axel, whom was stretched out in a booth on the other side of the restaurant, not even paying attention to her.
Kyleigh topped off his beer and handed it to him. For a moment she believed she wasn't going to follow the plan, but Kyleigh rested her pale hand on the young man's and they both laughed at something she said. She pulled away seconds later, yet the deed had already been done.
She ducked her head, fully conscious of the fact she was staring, and filled up a glass with the man's requested beverage. Making sure nobody was watching she quickly spat in his drink, stirring it with a straw until no evidence remained. This was Katrina's master plan, after all- serve the patrons and spit in their drinks. It was disgusting, but a lot easier than going around and casually touching every person in the restaurant. Besides, it was time to make a statement.
She returned to the man's booth and deposited his drink, politely asking him if he was ready to order. When he said no she told him she'd be back in a few minutes although she had no intent of doing so. The coughing began almost immediately after she turned her back to him.
Carriers Page 20