I opened my mouth, about to say something, but before I knew what was happening, our lips were touching. We were kissing.
His sweet, cool lips teased mine, and then coaxed me into a long, full kiss that stirred places deep inside me. I felt... I felt so faint. I gripped his shoulders to support myself. Our lips were locked. I needed air, but I wanted... I wanted more... We parted and I inhaled deeply.
“I’m a man,” he said. “I’m a man.”
I raised my hand and caressed the cool, soft skin of his cheek; my mind was empty.
His hands were on my hips as he lifted me onto his body.
When my legs parted across him, I knew what I wanted, what I needed. I’d just been fighting it.
Salem easily carried me down the hallway. I kissed down his jawline and sucked on his salty neck. I was lost in lust and needed him.
Once he had his door open, I expected some delay, but he pulled me off his hips and pressed me against the far wall. With my wrists bound in the grip of his left hand, he used his right to unbutton my pants. I watched him as he undressed me, waiting eagerly. My thighs quivered in anticipation.
His right hand slid over my hip and traced circles around my belly button before he removed it to unbutton his own pants. My eyes trailed down his body and my hands wanted to pull away, to explore his chest and abdomen under his shirt, but he held me there. I watched him lower his jeans and boxer briefs.
I swallowed at seeing him exposed. He came in close and growled in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. He released my wrists, and his hands trailed down my arms, teased my breasts, and then found themselves at my hips again.
His breath was cool on my neck and time suddenly felt painfully slow.
He gripped my bare skin and tensed, the pause killing me. I whined. I wanted him. I wanted to feel again.
He lifted me, cupping my ass, and pressed our pelvises together. I felt his hardness, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I gripped him by his hair and tugged, pulling his head back. I shifted on him, rocking my hips and daring him.
He tossed his head, pulling it free of my grasp, and kissed me. I felt him adjust and fumble—and finally press in. I gasped as he entered me and let out a long moan as he filled me. He was large and the feeling was incredible, but he was careful not to hurt me.
We were locked together, breathing heavily and holding one another tight.
I swallowed and then whispered, “Fuck me.”
Salem bit down on my neck and then did just that.
A LOVE BEYOND THE GRAVE
I peeled my face off of my drool-soaked pillow, wiped my mouth with my palm, and gave too much thought to my drooling problem before I remembered where I was.
Salem was sprawled out on the bed beside me, asleep, and looking like a shipwreck survivor, and I suspected I looked similar. I could feel my hair sticking up and imagined how red my face must be from sleeping on one side for too long.
I carefully shifted to the edge of the bed and scanned the room for my clothing. I found enough to get decent and leave.
After tiptoeing out, I gently closed the door. I cleaned myself up in the washroom and stumbled into my room where I flopped onto my bed.
I didn’t give much thought to why I had left or what we’d done, because I was asleep before I could get under my blanket.
The garden was as beautiful and wildly overgrown as I remembered it. I was not surprised to find myself here again and was oddly comfortable.
This time, the brown-haired girl and I sat together by the fountain in a patch of rich green clovers.
“See, this one is a harpy,” the girl said as she made water into the shape of a woman with an eagle’s body. “They are quiet now, but I think they will talk again.”
I smiled, enjoying her love of everything. Especially those the world would deem too different or strange to fit into society.
“You look sad,” she observed, sending her harpy back to the fountain. Her blue-and-yellow eyes were sincere when she asked, “Would you like to meet my puppy?”
She took my hand, and we stood together.
She then called toward the empty stone archway at the back of the garden, “Raaaveeen!”
I woke up with a start, sitting bolt upright, and knew what I had to do.
In the light of early dawn, I changed and made sure to layer up. It was going to be super cold where I was going.
I pulled my boots on, got my big jacket, and even grabbed a toque. I was almost out the door when I snapped my fingers and hurried back to the kitchen to grab a few apples. After stuffing them into my pocket, I was out the door.
It was freezing. The wind burned my face and made me question whether a layer of skin had been stripped off. I zipped up everything I could, pulled my toque down as far as it would go, and considered going back to switch my gloves out for mitts, but I was already turning off my street and on my way to Riverview Park.
Once across the river, I took the side trail up to Gobo’s. He was harder to find in the winter, but I’d done it for several years now and knew to look for specific trees and rocks. The hike was hard and warmed me up, but the air stung my lungs. Not many people would have been stupid enough to climb up this mountain in winter, but this was me we were talking about.
Partway up to the top, I stopped to catch my breath. I listened to the silence of the forest and realized for the first time in weeks I was completely alone. An undefinable peace washed over me and I was hesitant to break it. The soft quiet of a winter forest created a stillness inside a person, one that made me feel like all the answers were right there and had been all along. It was gone within minutes. Try as I might to grasp it, it blew away like the snow off the mountaintop. I gave myself a moment to mourn it and then continued up the path.
Once I reached the top, I dropped onto a snow-covered rock to catch my breath.
It was windier up here, and as the gales blasted me, I could feel the warmth from my hike shrink away in terror.
“Gobo,” I moaned from my frozen boulder.
There was the sound of heavy, furry footsteps in deep snow. It was a soft, pillowy crunch. I didn’t move right away, but I eventually looked up to find his big tusked face peering down at me. He started sniffing me and lowered his big mug. His nose immediately went for my apple-filled pocket.
“Fine, fine.” I pretended to be annoyed, but I couldn’t stop grinning.
I pulled the apples out and popped them into his eager, open mouth. Afterward, I stroked the thick, long fur on the top of his head and along his neck. He murmured happy noises and eventually pulled me onto him—for which I was grateful. His warmth was very welcome against the popsicle that was my body. I needed a miniature Gobo for my house.
“Hey, big guy,” I said, snuggling in. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” he replied in his gruff voice.
“I’m so glad. I worried about you after the wendigo, but I know you’re a big tough troll. I figured you’d heal in no time.”
I felt him nod and soaked up his warmth and the quiet of the mountains, and then my mind returned to the feel of Salem’s arms in the night. I swallowed and pushed the thought aside. The sudden race of my heart and the tightness in my chest confused me and my mind rejected them.
I sat up and gazed into Gobo’s dark eyes. “Gobo, can I ask you a favor?” I needed to stay focused.
“Yah,” he replied.
“I think I’m being followed by a lost dog. You like dogs, don’t you, Gobo?”
“Yah. The nice ones that come for pets.” He grinned wide, probably recalling a time when a hiker’s dog had found him.
I nodded. “There’s a dog soul following me. I think she needs something from me and I can’t speak to her like I can human ghosts. Can you help me?”
“Yah,” he agreed.
I pulled away from him and stood up, missing his warmth the moment I was away from him. Fairies that lived in the sun always felt like they were made of it.
“Okay,” I said
as I raised my hands. “Raaaveeen!” I hollered into the mountains, trusting that her name and my necro-powers would summon her.
I watched with the tight grip of heartache as the sun rose over the snow-covered peaks of the Rockies. In the vibrant rays of dawn, I could see a black dog running toward me in the sky. A dark spirit in the sunrise, a protector, and a new friend. My eyes stung with unwanted tears as I visualized the last time I saw Darren.
I suddenly knew what I really wanted. I wanted to help lost souls, like Darren and this dog. I wanted to stop the cycle of pain. I thought of Alice and of all the souls trapped in that pocket dimension, and I found the spark of purpose I’d been looking for: I was a necromancer. I may be cursed by it, but I could choose what to do with it.
It was an odd thing. I had rejected who I was for so many years, hating the secrecy and tragedy that swallows a necromancer, but I was older now, stronger, and I could do something about the suffering of the undead. I could learn and I could save.
Raven bounded onto the ledge, her tail wagging. I finally knew her, and she knew me.
Like with Tanner, I could touch her. Somehow, through whatever process she’d been through, she’d transcended to a spirit and was no longer a mere ghost, but could I help her find peace? Is that what she sought? Or was she an eternal spirit like Tanner? There was so much I didn’t know.
She whined and fussed, happy to be known and touched again.
“I know. I know,” I told her. I couldn’t imagine the loneliness, but I’d seen how much it affected human ghosts. Dogs, like humans, needed a family. “I’m glad you’re okay. Thank you. Thank you for saving us earlier.”
She stepped in closer, sat down, and leaned against me. Her body shimmered wherever we touched.
Gobo’s massive form moved in as well. “Good dog,” he said. I was happy to have his warmth at my back.
I looked up, still holding Raven, and asked, “Gobo, can you ask her where she came from?”
“Yah,” he replied. After several moments, he added, “She doesn’t ’member.”
I continued to pat her thoughtfully. “Hmm. Does she know the name of the girl in my dreams? Was that her owner?”
Gobo was quiet as he spoke to her. I did not have the ability to speak with animals, but I knew the conversations took place in the mind. Animals could vocalize and communicate through body language, but complicated discussions had to take place through telepathy.
Gobo tilted his enormous head and the sun’s light hit his tusks in a way I imagined unicorn horns would glow. “She knows girl is friend, but she can’t ’member name or where she is. They pass through veil when attacked.”
I paused my petting. “They? A rifter... Hmm.” I recalled the voice of the rifter asking for help in Sunnyvale. So, whoever created the pocket dimension, they must have captured Raven’s rifter and left her stranded here.
I scratched my head. “But Raven doesn’t remember who the girl was, huh? What’s with all these lost souls not remembering what happened to them? Though,” I paused, thinking, “I suppose I’ve been dealing with a lot of special cases lately. Pocket dimensions and grims follow their own rules, I guess.”
“Yah,” Gobo agreed, though I wasn’t positive he knew what I was talking about. Living here and being a fairy, I couldn’t imagine he hadn’t noticed a pocket dimension growing at the base of his mountain.
“Hey, so, could you ask her what happened after they were attacked?”
“Yah. She told. The rifter trapped in bubble and Raven couldn’t get past, couldn’t help them.” He nodded as he spoke and then reached out his big hand to the dog. It surprised me to find that while he could not touch her like I could, his hand interacted with her energy. It was something akin to what Darren and I had been able to do.
Raven wagged her tail and sniffed around Gobo’s hand and arm, seemingly not bothered by him stirring up her energy.
“So, whoever this is, they somehow pulled a rifter out of the veil, causing it to lose Raven’s soul...and then created a pocket dimension to...to do what? To do something with all of those ghosts...” I bit my lip thoughtfully.
“I need to talk to my mother. I’m sorry, Gobo. I wanted to stay longer, but I think I need to get home.”
“Okay.” His massive form shuffled, rocking the ledge, until he hovered over the grim and I.
“I’m going to take her with me, but we’ll come back and visit soon. Be safe, my friend.”
“Bye, friend.” Gobo waved as Raven and I turned to head back to Silverbrook.
It was always hard to leave him.
Raven bounded into the house as I kicked the snow off my boots. Snowflakes blew in, trailing after the grim, until I shut the door. I shivered and removed my boots, wanting nothing more than to return to bed. I was hanging my coat up when Salem stepped out of the kitchen.
He was topless, causing my body to ache with memories, but he gave me a disapproving glare.
“Where have you been?” he asked, stepping forward.
“Does it matter? I can tell you after—shut up for now,” I demanded as I closed the gap between us.
I had bolted out of his room and I’d run off into the mountains, trying to push him away from me and out of my mind, and now I couldn’t keep my body from his.
Salem’s anger became passion as I kissed him. His massive form surrounded me and lifted me. With our lips locked and my hands gripping his hair, he carried me to the couch. He fell backward onto the cushions. I sat on top of him and stripped, not caring for roommates, neighbors, or wandering animal spirits.
I wanted what I wanted, despite the nagging feeling in my mind that things were more complicated than I admitted and that my actions would have repercussions.
GODDESS-DAUGHTER TIME
I dragged myself out of Salem’s bedroom around one o’clock with a hunger that only the undead could understand. It was time for nachos.
As I passed Cheetoh’s room, I heard movement and decided to make another pass at peace. If nachos didn’t win her over, there was no hope.
I prepped the oven, pulled out a baking pan, and dumped tortilla chips on it. As I did, I heard Salem stumble out and head into the washroom. I felt bad that I constantly dipped out while he was asleep, but I also wasn’t prepared to give any real thought to why—or why we were doing what we were doing.
Once there was a sufficient amount of carbs on the baking tray, I grabbed the salsa, vegan cheese, and jalapeño peppers, and—because I hoped Cheetoh would appreciate the effort—I chopped fresh lettuce and tomatoes to add after the nachos baked.
While lunch was in the oven, I had nothing to do but wait, so I sat down at the kitchen table. Not surprisingly, my mother crept in from the shadows.
I was disappointed to find her alone. I had enjoyed seeing Malicia and missed the other hellhounds.
Raven had made herself scarce since I brought her home, but considering how I’d greeted Salem, I didn’t blame her. I felt her presence, but she hadn’t made herself visible to anyone, including myself, since we came back from the mountains.
“Daughter,” my mother said, taking a seat across from me.
I was about to respond when she held up the letter from the Toronto Academy of Magick and Alchemy, and two CSIS agent badges.
I shut my mouth and waited for her to speak.
“We have much to discuss.” Her ruby eyes pulsed. “I cleaned Agent Peterson’s room and disposed of her car—and in case I missed anything, I made sure to collect these new agents the moment they arrived in Silverbrook. They supplied me with contact information for their supervisor and left a series of texts for me to send as check-ins. It will give us some time to plan.”
I slumped in my chair. It had been years since my mother had killed to protect me. To her, alive, dead, or undead, humans were all the same. There was no loss or sadness for a death goddess, but guilt and burden festered inside of me. Two more innocent lives were lost because I existed.
“How long will you keep them?”
I asked, idly pushing some papers around.
I imagined the agents in my mother’s hell dimension and wondered what state of decay they were in as she kept them reanimated. They were useless to her without their bodies—she might need them to call their families or answer a video chat. Human governments were out of their league when it came to gods.
“As long as necessary. Which brings us to the pocket dimension and your decision on school.” She slid the acceptance letter over to me.
I stared at it. Could I play the wizard and escape this life?
Before I could answer, Salem stepped into the kitchen. He stiffened at the sight of my mother, though I suspected he’d felt her presence the moment she’d slipped into our dimension.
Her eyes passed over him and then silently away.
As if given unspoken permission, Salem came closer. He moved cautiously, like prey taking tentative steps toward a watering hole. I was mildly amused until he came over and placed his hand on my shoulder. I immediately got up to check the nachos, not wishing for my mother to make assumptions.
As I opened the oven, heat wafted over me and reminded me of the hot winds of the goddess’s hell dimension.
I pulled the nachos out and placed them on the stove top. The cheese looked melted and the tortilla chips warm and ready for consumption. As I turned the oven off, I said, “Let’s talk about school later. We need to discuss what Salem and I saw yesterday. I’ve never seen anything like it. Mother, we were attacked by undead chimeras.” I turned and leaned against the counter. Folding my arms, I waited for her reply.
A grin snaked across her lips. “Daughter of mine, you must get me into this dimension. How many were there? What were they made of?”
“They were animals. Big animals, moving as one reanimated being. They had tentacles and spider legs, bear claws, and huge antlers. As far as I know, there are only two of them, but there could be more...” I trailed off as I taste-tested a nacho.
Death Made Me Do It Page 10