Makeup made me feel like I was in disguise trying to be someone else. I liked this new makeup-free me so much better. Looking in the mirror this morning and seeing the girl who looked back at me, she needed nothing to accentuate her already strikingly gorgeous features.
I slipped on my shoes and started down the stairs, smelling the amazing gourmet breakfast Lorenzo was making in the kitchen. As I inhaled, it hit me that I had never smelled anything as I smelled this morning. I was certain I could tell each ingredient as I walked down the stairs without even seeing what was on the stove. I popped in the kitchen and leaned against the doorway, announcing my arrival with a bubbly good morning to Lorenzo.
As he turned toward me, the spatula he was holding fell from his hand, splattering grease all over the floor. He smiled at me with an expression on his face as if he couldn’t believe his eyes as the word angel fell from his lips with a whisper. We stood there in an awkward silence for a moment that seemed like it lasted forever when he realized he was still staring; he bent down to pick up the spatula and clean up the mess it made on the tile floor. I pretended not to notice and acted normal instead. I asked him what was for breakfast, and he stammered out a response. I kissed him on the cheek and made a plate and slid into a spot at the table.
After breakfast, I decided I would run by Spirits to see how Avan’s weekend was going and find out what it was he wanted to discuss. On my way out the door, I was topping off my outfit with Avan’s black leather jacket as Lorenzo had come flying out of the kitchen to tell me that he had forgotten to relay a message. Lena’s flight was delayed, and she would be on the next one that offered an open seat in first class. After all, she would not be caught dead flying coach.
Apologizing for his earlier reaction in the kitchen, he explained that I looked just like someone he had once known. Giving me a tight hug, he told me to drive safely and that he would see me in a little while. I told him I would probably see him at dinner since I would be out most of the day, and he flashed a warm smile, nodding in approval.
On my way to Spirits, everything about the day seemed brighter than it usually did. The colors I saw seemed more vivid as I passed through my neighborhood, noticing all of the winter flowers blooming that the wealthy families of Oceanview had planted in their gardens. Everything was so clear. As I sat at a stop sign, I looked toward the walkway of the house that sat on the corner that had yards of beautiful red tulips blooming on both sides and all the way up and across the front of the flowerbed in front of the house.
Adoring the petals that were such a brilliant shade of red, I began to focus on one in particular. Before I knew it, the flower had magnified before my eyes to where I could see a small ant making its way up the green stem of the flower and onto one of the petals, walking to the tip on the underside and crawling on to the top of the petal, crawling along its curve toward the pollen in the center. I could not believe I was seeing this. Blinking my eyes, everything went back to regular vision; I imagined I must have been daydreaming.
Looking both directions, I pulled out on to the street heading to Spirits. Coming into downtown Oceanview was always a site to see no matter how long you had lived here.
All of the buildings were made of the same red brick built back in the early 1900s, and the streets downtown were still made of brick as well. It was a little bumpy, but it added a nostalgic feel to our town. Most of the second stories of the businesses that lined the downtown area had been turned into storage areas, which held inventory to be used. A few had been converted to living spaces where the business owners resided.
In the center of the town square, the city kept a huge water fountain year round. The concrete dolphins and mermaids looked brilliant as the water danced around them, making light foam on top of the water as it hit and broke into hundreds of little bubbles as they hit the surface of the water that was probably freezing during this time of the year. During the summertime people would stop by to toss coins in, making wishes as they visited the storefronts that surrounded it.
On the eastside of the fountain was Spirits. As I drove around the fountain, it looked empty in the front, which was usual for a Sunday since most people came in for coffee before they joined the church congregations. I slid my Volkswagen into a spot in front and killed the engine. Unzipping my bag, I took out the note that had been left in the sack that held my angel last night. I unlocked the glove compartment, retrieving the other two notes as well to add to the most recent one received.
I was unsure of what Avan would think once I showed him the notes, but I felt I needed to tell someone, and right now he was the most trustworthy person I knew besides Lorenzo, who would only worry himself sick. Sliding the notes into my wallet, I got out of the car, locked the doors and headed for the entrance to Spirits.
I stepped inside to the welcoming aroma of fresh espresso and coffee beans. I had no idea how they managed to do it, but it was always the perfect temperature inside. I was looking over the menu when I knew Avan was near.
I had not looked up to see him yet, but his cologne gave him away. I laid the menu back on the coffee table, looking up to see him leaning forward in the chair across from mine with a serious look on his face that told me he was in a state of excellent shock and surprise.
“Wow!” Avan said as he rubbed his chin with his left hand.
“Wow meaning what?”
“You, I’ve never seen you look the way you do today.”
“Is that a good thing?” I was a little confused. First, Lorenzo had acted strange, and now Avan too. I was starting to feel a little self-conscious.
“It’s an amazing thing. You look like an angel.”
“An angel?” I couldn’t help but notice he’d said almost the same thing Lorenzo had.
“Yeah, angels are beautiful, and you make most of them look mediocre at best.”
“Well, thank you. Believe it or not, you are actually the second person who has paid me the compliment of looking like an angel today,” I said, flashing him a smile.
“Who was the first?” The way he asked was as though it concerned him. Maybe he was scared I had run into Ian somewhere this morning before getting to Spirits.
“The chef that works for Lena and her dad, and I guess me, even though I consider him more as a friend.”
“Well, he couldn’t have been more honest.” His voice had lost the edge it had a few seconds ago.
“So can the angel get a drink?” I could not resist referring to myself in the third person using the description that sounded so amazing coming from his mouth describing me, of all people.
“Anything she wants. Just name it.”
“How about a large peppermint mocha topped with whipped cream and sprinkles,” I said, admiring the way he looked as he tilted his head a little when he wrote my order.
“I’ll be right back with that, milady,” he said as he tore the top slip he’d written my order on off of the order pad.
I could not help but acknowledge the thought in my head that noticed how it never mattered if he was coming or going, he looked good regardless. I think if I had it my way, I could just have him stand and model in the corner of the room as I sat and drooled all day long. The way he moved was just so smooth—everything about him was smooth. From the way his skin looked to the way he walked, there was just something completely irresistible about him that made me putty in his hands. Since I had gotten so close to him over the past two weeks, being with him every day, getting to know him so much better, my simple crush on a cute guy who worked at the coffee shop had transitioned into a not-so-simple case of infatuation with a hot guy who was now basically my only true friend.
I was still unsure how he felt about me to this point, though. Granted, today he told me I make most angels look less beautiful than they should, but that was no indication that he wanted more than a friendship. All that meant was that I looked great today—and Lorenzo had even pointed it out, so I was not so sure that Avan’s compliment had a personal meaning. Then a
gain, he had told me that he liked the way I looked in his jacket and told me I could continue to wear it after the first day we had spoken.
There was also the way he had taken me to school every day, driving all the way to my house to pick me up rather than having me meet him at his work. He sure made it seem like he just wanted me to be more than his best girl buddy for the rest of his life, but considering I never actually had a boyfriend, how could I interpret the signs I thought he was making obvious and full of intent?
“Here’s that peppermint mocha you ordered,” Avan said as he knelt beside my chair with a cup in one hand and napkins in the other, catching me completely off guard, as I had been overanalyzing everything he had said in the past two weeks, trying to find any clue of what he really felt about me.
“That looks and smells amazing!”
“What can I say? I aim to please!”
Smiling and nodding, I took the cup and napkins from his hands as I looked down into his eyes. For a split second, I tried to imagine how he would react if I took the opportunity to lean in and kiss him on those perfect, full lips. He showed no signs of rushing to move from where he was next to my chair, but I was terrified of not knowing how he would take it if I went for it.
Instead I just scooted back a little in the chair and took a sip of chocolate and peppermint delightfulness. He slowly rose from the floor, moving into the chair beside me. I could feel his eyes on me and had no idea what to say or if I should pretend like I did not notice.
“Do I have a booger in my nose or something?” I could not take his silent stare any longer.
“Um no, if you did I would be looking anywhere but at your face, and with every word I said I would be calling attention to my own nose to try and make you get the hint. Then, if that didn’t work, I’d just invite Bradley over to join the conversation, and he wouldn’t hesitate to tell you out loud that you had a big ole boogey about to drop into your coffee!”
“So kind of you! So if I don’t have a booger, why are you looking at me like this is the first time you’ve ever seen me?” I asked as I made eye contact with him.
“This is the first time I’ve ever seen you for what you really are.” He said it almost the same way the note from the mystery writer had stated it. Suddenly my breath caught in my throat as fear flooded my mind again. Could he really be the one leaving the notes? Uncertainty and worry crept around into the shadows of my imagination whispering darkness into my thoughts. How could he have used almost the exact words written on the paper I’d found?
My train of thought drifted to what had happened last night with the man hiding in the bushes and leaving the note. Looking back up into his eyes I felt ashamed as I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt he could never in any way be the same person sneaking around making me feel threatened with pieces of a puzzle. I wanted to know what it meant, but Avan might think I had way too much baggage if I told him about all the drama I had going on right now.
“So what kind of drama is it that you think is gonna run me off?” He asked as though he’d just read my mind.
“Sorry, it’s just that—” I cut myself off snapping my head up to look at him quizzically. As the thought went through my mind how I was confused when it came to deciding the best way to tell him some unknown individual had been lurking outside my house in the bushes, and left a weird note in my car suddenly it no longer seemed important as I acknowledged the fact that he had just heard my thoughts. Then there was the issue with Lena wanting me to continue to date Ian. I wanted to prevent him from hating her worse than he did now, but I was still mad at her for taking Ian’s side especially if Avan had really just been able to read my mind. Moreover, there was the way Ian had gone crazy with harassing me lately. Suddenly fear was the farthest thing from my mind as complete confusion and disability to make sense of what had just occurred took its place.
“Let’s start with the note you found. You saw the person who put it there?” When he spoke, I knew he had heard every word that I had been thinking, even though I never said it aloud. This should have scared me and made me get as far away as I could, but instead, it felt intriguing.
“Yeah, he was hiding in the bushes. I must have walked outside right after he’d planted the note.”
“You have no idea who it could be or what they want?”
“Not the slightest clue,” I answered as I tried to think of anyone who could possibly be upset with me while at the same time failing attempts at making sense of how Avan could detect the thoughts in my mind.
“What did the note say?”
“It said, ‘They know what you are,’” I said with a shudder.
“I don’t like the sound of that,” Avan said. A serious look came across his face. “What’s all this about Lena and Ian? I mean, I know he’s giving you trouble. I can tell it’s on your mind, but tell me about the specifics.”
I went into a rant about all the things Ian had done in the past two weeks, being as detailed as possible. I told Avan about how I felt Lena was taking away my choice in the matter and pressuring me to put myself in a harmful situation. I broke down about how I never felt like I had any say when it came to making decisions for my life. I also expressed her expectation of me to be another version of her.
I admitted to him that I was sick of living like this, wishing there was another option, and how I did not understand how everything had completely turned to crap three years ago, leading up to all this. I had just admitted to feeling as though I was just a target waiting for the second I would be erased from existence just like my parents when he took my hands in his, looking me in the eyes as I stopped talking.
“Mattie, I will never let anything happen to you. You are too important. I couldn’t exist if anything were to happen to you,” Avan said calmly as he was still looking into my eyes.
There was something about the way he said it that caught my attention. It was as if it had almost hurt him to imagine something ever happening to me. He said it in a way that let me know it made him nearly break down. It was clear he was being nothing less than completely honest with the words he used.
“So I guess you kinda like me, huh?” Where I found the courage to say it I would never know, but he looked up, making eye contact with me, and I could have sworn he was going to jump out of his chair and hug me but found the willpower to contain himself.
“Like is the understatement of the year.”
“Then how would you describe it?” I could tell my voice was not as confident as I meant for it to be.
“Mattie, the truth is that I’ve been in love with you from the moment I saw you six months ago.”
As he said it, I felt a heavy wind whip up around us, and I grabbed onto the chair. Suddenly, Avan’s arms were around me as he pulled mine up, positioning them around his neck. His arms slid around my waist, supporting me, and in the next second, I could no longer feel the chair or floor beneath my feet. All around me things had turned into what looked like night.
The wind died down, and I noticed I was still in Avan’s arms on the roof of a building so high in the sky it felt if I lifted my arm, it might poke a hole into the floor of heaven. The stars were bright and beautiful, and even though I knew I should be scared, I was secure. Something about being so high up, feeling I was close to Heaven itself felt warm and comforting deep inside my soul.
“How did you do that?” Avan’s voice was slow and steady.
“I did that?”
“Yes, how long have you been able to do it?”
“This was a first,” I answered now wondering how I could have caused a small tornado to occur, landing us on top of a building at night.
“Okay, well this is a cool spot, but what made you decide you didn’t want to be at Spirits anymore? If you wanted to go somewhere and talk alone we could’ve gone for a drive.”
Whatever Avan was talking about, I had no idea what I had done much, less anything else that had to do with this situation. Besides, we had been the only two people in Spi
rits, so why would he ask if I had wanted to talk to him alone? Everything in my life seemed to be getting more complicated by the second and it seemed as though I was the secret to it all! What was it that I didn’t know? With that I came to the logical conclusion that every part of this day was a dream and in actuality I had not woken up yet.
“Where are we?” I looked around afraid to let go of him.
“I’m not sure how to explain this, but I’ll try. Basically, when we leave here you’ll wake up at home in your bed and it will be Sunday morning again. I can’t tell you why or how I know this right now, so you’re going to have to just go with it. Right now we are inside your dreams. This won’t be possible all the time and you can’t use it to get out of things—so you’re going to have to get used to actually talking to me.” He laughed as he continued, “The cool thing is that anything you say to me here I will remember tomorrow and so will you. Your day will go just like you remembered it going already, up to the point where you show up at Spirits.”
“You said you are in love with me.” The words came falling off my tongue even though they were completely off subject.
“Yes, I am.” He looked in my eyes as he told me again.
“How do you know?” I had never had anyone say those words to me. We were still in high school. How could he know he was in love with me?
“I was designed to do nothing more than protect you and to love you forever. I can’t tell you any more than that. That is, until you figure out some things on your own about what you are.” His answer was so matter of fact it left me knowing two things. One, that he was telling the truth and two, that I was not going to get any further explanation.
“What am I supposed to do? What am I? How am I supposed to find these answers?”
“All I can do is point you in the right direction and help you put the pieces together.” I could tell it was killing him not being able to say anything else.
“Okay, what direction is that?” I asked, frustrated at the situation.
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