by Maya Daniels
His large hand takes my sweaty one, and he laces our fingers together. Until this moment, I wasn’t aware of the heavy burden sitting on my chest from the disappointment I saw in his eyes. My entire body sags and I stumble, his hold on my hand the only thing stopping me from face-planting in the dirt.
“Come here.” With a jerk on my arm, he pulls me in the circle of his arms. I grip him tightly like a lifeline, my fingers digging in the skin of his back. “No matter what I say, or how many times I say it, you can’t stop seeing yourself as a freak.” Sinking his face in my hair, he inhales deeply, pressing his chest firmly to mine. “Maybe one day you’ll believe me.”
“I’m sorry.” My apology is muffled, his skin pebbling where my lips touch it when I speak. Not waiting for him to ask the obvious question, I keep talking, getting it out without having to look at his face. “I know you’ll never put me in danger, or use me as a shield to protect yourself. You’ve proven that from the first moment I saw you. That’s why I found it strange having you beneath me while danger loomed over our heads. And it was never an accusing thought just a fleeting one considering the situation we were in. I don’t doubt you, Eric.” Finally pulling away, I lift my face up to see him. “I just can’t help the thoughts floating through my head when everyone I’ve ever loved and called family has betrayed me. It’s not something I can control. Not yet, anyway…maybe never.”
“I’ll just have to try harder, so you’ll never have a doubt in your mind when it comes to me, Hel.” After kissing the tip of my nose, he leans his chin on top of my head. “I’ve failed as a mate when it comes to protecting you, and that’s all on me. I haven’t shared myself openly with another either. I know it’s not easy for you because it’s not easy for me. We will figure it out. Together.”
“Together…” Warmth spreads through my body when I whisper it back to him. Opening my mouth to say something I haven’t mentioned until now, the L gets stuck in my throat when his body stiffens.
“We have company.” Faster than I can blink, he pulls us into the cover of the trees lining the path.
I’m more freaked out by the fact I was going to tell Eric that I loved him than I am from whatever is coming our way. He blends with the shadows, the darkness welcoming him like it’s an extension of who he is. Pressing my back to the tree, I watch him a few feet away, only the amber glow of his eyes separating him from the cloak of darkness surrounding us. Long moments pass, and just when I think he made a mistake, I hear the distant chatter and crunching of feet on the path. My hand grabs the blade, sliding it out from the waistband holding it secure at my lower back.
In the stillness around us, even my breath sounds too loud to my own ears. Parting my lips, I breathe through my mouth, the closer the shuffling gets to where we are. Eric points at the thicker cluster of trees, his unspoken demand for me to move there irking me to no end. With a quick jerk of my head, I tell him what I think of his idea lifting the blade slightly just enough for him to see it. I can feel his frustration pulsing off him, and a grin splits my face. The damn GPS stays silent. Winking at him, the calm I always feel before I start hunting blankets me from head to toe. His eyes burn brighter, hunger unmistakable in their depths, but the noises are almost upon us, so I push the fluttering butterflies in my stomach away.
“Move, you useless piece of shit.” A thump follows raspy words, then something hits the dirt path and a soft cry makes my whole body clench. “This is your last chance to prove your worth before I suck you dry.” Chuckles echo around us, drowning a soft whimper.
Inching my way as close as I dare to the edge of the wide tree trunk, I glance at the path. My lungs shrivel when I see two hunched ogre-looking demons kicking the tiny body of a little boy at their feet. His pants are ripped and dirty, his ribs protruding through the skin of his bare torso while his fingers dig in the dirt so he can crawl away from them. The tasseled curls on his head fall over, hiding his face from me. My body moves without conscious thought. A twisting shadow gives me the warning to brace myself before my back gets slammed harshly to the tree again. Eric clamps his paw-sized hand over my mouth, cutting off anything I would’ve said.
And there is a lot I want to say to him right now.
Looking down at me, he shakes his head, my glare not deterring him one little bit. There is no way I’m going to hide in the shadows while demons are hurting the boy. Lucifer himself can come for my head if he wants, but I’ll be damned if I allow him or Eric to stop me. Anger burns like a raging fire inside me, the ground at my feet trembling along with it. Lately, I’ve been too fast to anger, the switch flipping without warning, but another whimper coming from somewhere behind the tree doesn’t give me the time to ponder that for long. Placing my free hand at the center of Eric’s chest, I shove him away like he weighs nothing. His eyes widen comically. I’m already moving, not giving him time to recover and stop me.
“Step away from the boy.” Stepping in their path, my knees bend slightly, preparing for a fight. Adrenaline pumps through my veins, making me bounce slightly on the balls of my feet.
“What have we here?” the demon on the left rasps, his square head canting to the side like he is watching a bug under his shoe. “I have not seen the likes of you around here, girly. Where did you come from?”
His skin has a stone-like appearance, flakes falling off it with his movements, like the peeling paint of an old house. The lump on his back combined with his hunched down posture, does not make him any smaller. He still towers over me, forcing me to crane my neck so I can look at his ugly face. Broad set eyes, all black with no iris or pupil, scrutinize me. Nostrils flare, pulling my attention to his flattened nose sitting above a slit on his face, which serves as a mouth if the rows of sharp, yellowed teeth are any indication. The one next to him looks the same, only a few clusters of hair like weeds on his boxed head allowing me to tell the difference.
“I said, ‘step away from the boy.’” My voice is calm, and I scan them both, looking for vulnerable spots where I can stick the dagger gripped in my hand.
“We don’t have time for this.” The demon with weed for hair waves his trunk-like arm around. “The portal will close if we linger. Grab her and let’s go.”
The slit on the face of the other one grows, showing off more teeth than any mouth should hold. Sidestepping the tiny body curled up at his feet, he moves towards me. His friend bends down, grabbing the boy by the arm, hauling him up in the air. No sound comes from the kid while he hangs limply in the air. Gut tight with worry because I might be too late makes me jump at the demon as soon as he is within reach. Not expecting me to go at something like him like a battering ram, he takes a step back when we collide. Using his surprise to my advantage, I slash the dagger in an arc across his throat. His head glides off his shoulders, landing with a thud on the ground. The large body follows, gravity pulling it down, and I ride him with my knees pressed on his stomach like a surfboard. A loud thump and a cloud of dust are the only sound he will ever make again.
Jumping off the dead demon, I roll away from his stunned friend before bouncing on my feet, blocking his way. “I said, ‘let the boy go.’”
“You fucking bitch!” the demon roars, throwing the boy away from him and charging at me.
Praying that the kid is still alive and won’t be hurt more than he already is I brace for the impact. This is going to hurt. A hand larger than my head swings my way, and I drop on the ground, rolling away from him. The good thing about large creatures like this demon is that when they swing with all their strength, they can’t alter the direction of their hit. He stumbles for a few feet before he catches himself. Flipping around, his head swivels as he looks for me. Rage burns in his gaze, like molten lava spitting sparks, when it locks on mine. Pushing myself off the ground, I smile at him.
“Playtime, motherfucker.”
He charges me again at my taunting words.
“Enough!”
Eric’s shout freezes the demon mid-stride. I never thought a g
ray skin could pale, but I’m a believer now that I see the color draining from the demons face. In my urge to save the boy, I never for a second wondered where Eric was and why he didn’t join me. Black blood drips from my dagger and spreads around the headless body between the three of us.
“Shadow.” The demon drops on one knee, bowing his head. “You can have her if you wish. I mean no harm.”
My jaw hits my chest and I straighten. This is all he has to do to save the boy? My hands tremble at my side, the dagger warming under my tight hold from the anger overtaking me. So I don’t end up sticking the blade at the center of Eric’s forehead, I turn around and stomp towards the boy. For his sake, I hope the kid is alive. There would be no going back for us if he stood there behind the trees while demons killed a child. Dropping on my knees next to the heap on the ground, I tuck the dagger at the small of my back, shuddering when the sticky blood touches my skin.
“Helena, don’t!” Eric calls out, but I already have the boy lifted up so that he is sitting in front of me. After pushing the curls off his face, I scramble away from him like a crab on all fours, my butt scraping the dirt.
Sockets blackened like the eyes were burned out of his head are staring unseeing at me. I would’ve thought the creature was dead if he wasn’t smiling at me. Not the grateful smile of a child saved, no. A cruel one that raises the short hairs on the back of my neck and numb me from head to toe. His body is like that of a child, but with the wrinkled face of a hundred-year-old man, and that face is turned my way.
“I belong to you now, mistress.”
No man-child’s voice should sound as creepy as the one addressing me at the moment.
“What the fuck is that?” Scrambling around, I finally manage to get on my feet, putting distance between me and the creature.
“It’s a Trowe.” In a few strides, Eric comes next to me, looking me up and down for any injuries. “We are not in the human realm; nothing is as it seems here. I would’ve told you that, but you held me back after you intercepted them”
“I did what now?” Still keeping an eye on the creature that hasn’t moved an inch, I glance at Eric.
“After you pushed me away, I couldn’t move from the spot. I had to force my way out of whatever hold you had over my body.”
Every word he says tightens my chest and I can’t prevent the panic attack that hits me out of nowhere. My breathing speeds up, cold sweat gathers on my upper lip and slides down my back. My hands tingle and numbness follows it. Dark spots dance in my vision, the ground reaching up to meet me until arms circle my body, lifting it up.
“The mistress needs time.” A creepy chuckle and a voice out of my nightmares reaches my ears from behind Eric.
“Stay away from her, or I’ll skin you alive,” Eric snaps angrily, not taking his eyes off me. “Breathe, Hel; I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Staring at his face, I do just that. Concentrating on my breath, I let him hold the weight of my body until gradually, my vision clears, and my starved lungs are not hurting and screaming for oxygen. This should be a good thing. If I can hold demons back without conscious thought, that should be the best news I’ve heard, like ever. The fact that it’s Eric is what bothers me the most, I realize. Regardless of what he is, I have no doubt in my mind that he is not evil. I may doubt many things, but that is not one of them.
Needing a distraction from my thoughts, I focus on our immediate problem.
“What’s a Trowe?” Still leaning on Eric, I crane my neck to see where the creature is over his shoulders. “Don’t turn your back on it. And what does he mean I need time? It knows nothing about me.”
“He won’t attack, Hel. They are thieves and trouble making bastards, but he won’t hurt me, or you.” Turning to look at the creature, Eric’s voice sounds deeper and more menacing. “Not if he knows what’s good for him.”
“I mean no harm, Shadow. I came to meet her as soon as the music of her blood called to me.” The creepy little shit sounds closer, making my skin pebble with goosebumps. “I only want to serve. It’s been such a long time…” his words trail off, and the wistfulness in them hangs like a noose around my neck.
“Where is the ogre thingy?” Ignoring the uneasiness the creature instills in my soul, I look around for the demon that got me in this mess to start with. It’s much easier to blame it on him than to admit my own stupidity caused this.
“He is not my concern.” Eric dismisses my worry like we are talking about cute puppies instead of freaky demons. “They shouldn’t even be here, now that you mention it.” With a scowl, he looks behind him at where the creature is, I assume. “Why were the three of you here?”
The creep ignores Eric, crawling on hands and knees like a golem without his precious ring until he circles around wide enough for me to be looking at him. A shudder passes through me when he comes into view.
“He has not gone far, mistress. I can fetch him if you wish it.” Canting his head to the side, he smiles again. I’ll have nightmares for a long time from that smile.
Eric frowns thoughtfully at the Trowe, not reprimanding him for anything. My mind is still a mush from everything that happened, so I just hang limply in Eric’s arms gaping at the creature. From the moment I took that step off the ledge and stupidly decided going to Hell was a great idea, everything feels like a bad dream. Memories are fighting to push to the front of my mind for attention. After that damn day I found out I’m a hybrid until now, it feels like I haven’t had time to stop and look at everything objectively. Michael’s actions and words, my own people turning against me, and Eric coming out of nowhere to insert himself as a permanent fixture in my life. If that wasn’t enough, Raphael decided to pop in and join the ride while my dead best friend came back to life and turned my team against each other. Nothing makes sense. And in the middle of it all, Eric’s fairytale story of why he stayed in the human realm and his disagreement with his father, that I bought at the time because it was what I wanted to hear, is the one I focus the most on. It’s the biggest bullshit of them all, I realize. Not because he was trying to lie and be deceitful, but because they all think I’m the same girl, who once upon a time believed that goodness had a name and a face.
You dumbass, you fell for it like a naïve fool. My mind decides to point the obvious.
Looking from the creature to Eric and back, I decide at this very moment to stop listening to everyone and start making my own mind up about everything. Eric told me when I first met him that nothing is black and white, but I’ll only believe him when I see it for myself. It took a trip to Hell for the lightbulb to turn on, but at least I got there.
Narrowing my eyes on the Trowe, which only makes him smile brighter at me like he knows something I don’t, I push Eric’s arms away. Straightening up, the anger warms my insides when I square my shoulders. Things will never be the same again. The Holy ass let the cat out of the bag about what I am, and there is no putting it back in. I can keep fighting it, let it scratch my eyes out until I’m blind or bleed to death, or I can accept the fact that I’m an abomination not meant for Heaven or Hell and roll with it. I don’t need one, or the other. The thought strikes me like one of the lightning bolts Michael loves to throw around.
They both need me.
With no idea where that leaves me, the way forward is as clear as day. There is no room for me among the righteous and pure ones, as they love to call themselves. Nor is there a room among the sinners, thanks to the empathy overriding common sense inside me. That only gives me one obvious answer. My place is in my realm beside the humans, where I can protect them from angels and demons alike while they try to use them for whatever agendas they have. Maybe that’s why my parents made me? To stand for those that don’t know any better. I might be full of shit with this thought process, but it’s working, and it gives me purpose. Instead of running around hiding from them all, I’m going to face them head on and show them they picked the wrong freak for their games.
“Go fetch him
, golem.” Addressing the creature with a toneless voice, I watch him excitedly hop a few times and ignore Eric when he stiffens next to me. Turning to face him after my dog scurries through the trees to do my bidding, I let him see my determination. “I’m a hunter. I’m going to hunt them all if they stand in my way from this day on. Be it an angel, or a demon.” Eric’s green eyes burn with pride I haven’t seen from him before.
I’ll just pray I don’t let him or myself down after this proclamation.
Eric
The Trowe, also known in my realm as Haltija, the one humans named gnome in their ignorance, bolted to please Helena and do what she asked. Meeting the creature changed something fundamental in her. It pains me to see that last spark of innocence get extinguished in her beautiful, expressive eyes. Inevitable it may be, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
While she struggled with whatever battle she fought inside herself, I feel shame. Shame for not giving her the chance to decide for herself if she finds me worthy of her. Feeding her white lies because I think she isn’t strong enough to handle the truth, which makes me a coward because the truth will come out sooner rather than later. It might bite me in the ass in the long run, but I have made my bed. I’ll sleep on it now, even if it’s full of thorns that will shred me to pieces. My only hope is that we both come out of this together, regardless of the trials that we will face. My shoulder blades tingle and twitch, reminding me of the wings I never thought I'd see again bursting out of my back. It can’t be, but it happened. Or I am dreaming, and it’s all just a fragment of my imagination. I’m unwilling to test it, so I push it out of my mind.