by Linda Turner
“It’s all right, honey,” he murmured, tightening his arms around her and pressing a kiss to her hair. “You don’t have to apologize. I know the last couple of weeks have been rough on you. Just let me hold you a second.”
That was all he meant to do...just hold her, comfort her, and kiss away her tears. But it seemed like forever since he’d had her alone and in his arms, and the feel of her against him went straight to his head. He kissed her wet cheeks and couldn’t resist the lure of her soft, trembling mouth.
“Mitch...”
“I know, sweetheart,” he groaned. “It’s okay. I just want to kiss you.”
But one kiss led to another, then another. She was too close, the need that tore at him too fierce, and all he could think about was that he wanted, needed to love her. His very bones ached with it, and he had to believe that hers did, too. When she could have pushed him away, she pulled him close. When she could have turned her mouth away from his, she kissed him back with a hunger that matched his own.
His blood roaring in his ears, he tore his mouth from hers, but only to drop short, fierce kisses on the curve of her cheek, her nose, the sweep of her brow. “I want you,” he rasped, making her shudder just kissing his way down the side of her neck. “Right now. Right here. Don’t say no, sweetheart. Let me love you.”
Her heart pounding, every nerve ending in her body crying out for his touch, his kiss, Phoebe couldn’t have denied him if her life had depended on it. Not when this would probably be the last chance that she would ever have to hold him, to love him. Without a word, she reached for the buttons of his shirt.
She had dreamed about making love with him again. Even after he had hurt her and she’d accepted the fact that they were never going to have any more than what they already did, she’d fantasized about where and when they would give in to the maddening, crazy need they had for each other. And never in her wildest dreams had she thought it would be like this...in the living room, right in front of the Christmas tree.
But no place could have been more appropriate. Right from the beginning, he had been a surprise, a gift in her life when that was the last thing she was expecting. Even as he pulled her down to the braided rug with him, she knew she’d never again think of Christmas without thinking of him.
This was all she would ever have of him—just these few precious memories. And she wanted it to last forever. But this last time was like the first time—hot and fierce and desperate—and any chance she had of any kind of control ended the second he touched her. Clothes melted away, his hands rushed over her, caressing, trailing liquid fire over her breasts and hips and thighs, and she turned into a woman she didn’t know. A woman with needs and wants and demands of her own. A woman who wasn’t afraid to ask for what she wanted, show what she needed.
Pushing him to his back, she rolled over on top of him, and it was her turn to make him burn and groan and shudder. And she loved it. She loved the freedom of exploring every hard inch of his body, of driving him wild, of knowing that every thought he had began and ended with her. Just her. It was her name he called out, her body he couldn’t get enough of. Under her hands, her mouth, she could feel the thunder of his heartbeat, a primal rhythm that throbbed and hummed, the tension that tightened in him with every flick of her hands, her tongue, and she took fierce satisfaction in knowing that she had brought him to this. She might not have him forever, but for this moment stolen out of time, he was hers, and for now, that was enough.
But it couldn’t last. As much as she longed to hang on to the moment, to the magic that they had found together, it couldn’t last. Balanced on a razor-sharp edge of desire, they strained together, hearts pounding, in a fast-paced dance as old as time. Then, with no warning, she cried out as the passion gripping her shattered. With a hoarse cry, he followed, taking her with him over the edge into ecstasy.
For a long time afterwards, Mitch lay with Phoebe cradled limply in his arms, unable to let her go. Staggered by the depth of emotions she had pulled from him so effortlessly, he tried to convince himself that what they had just shared was nothing more than sex. But he’d had just sex before, and this wasn’t it. This wasn’t anything that he’d ever experienced before.
Because you’ve never been in love before, you idiot.
Like a bullet from a sniper’s gun, the truth came out of nowhere to strike him right in the heart, knocking him senseless. Love? It had always been a four-letter word to him, a weakness that left a man wide open to a woman looking to feather her nest. He’d sworn there would never come a time when he would want a part of anything remotely resembling that kind of vulnerability, and he’d meant it. But that was before he’d met Phoebe.
She was unlike any woman he’d ever known. She’d been cheated, fired, thrown out of her apartment, all while trying to support two children who weren’t even hers. Just because they were her niece and nephew didn’t mean she had to take them in. She could have refused. Or when things got dicey, she could have looked around for a man to support her. It would have been the easiest thing to do. She could have taken one look at him and seen dollar signs, but she’d wanted nothing more from him than what she could earn. She was proud and strong and gutsy and she’d slipped under his guard without him even realizing it. She was everything he thought he’d never find, and now that he had, he couldn’t imagine his life without her.
God, he loved her! How had it happened? When? He felt like the hero in a fairy tale, a modern-day Prince Charming who wanted to sweep her up in his arms and carry her off to his castle, where she’d never have to worry about anything again. And that scared him spitless. He was thinking marriage. Forever. Till death do us part. And for a man who had perfected the art of avoiding commitment, that was enough to stop his heart dead in his chest.
Panic hit him then, right in the gut, and all he could think about was getting away. He needed to think, to work this out in his head, to deal with the emotions churning inside him. And to do that, he had to be alone.
Easing her gently from his arms, he quickly pulled the afghan from the end of the couch and draped it over her, then started pulling on his clothes. Not proud of himself, he pretended he’d just now noticed the time. “Damn! I hate to leave you, sweetheart, but I’ve got an appointment with a banker in fifteen minutes on the north side, and I’m not going to make it if I don’t leave right now. Can you take Robby’s bike upstairs for me?”
“Yes, of course,” she said, hugging the afghan to her breast. “But—”
“Thanks! I’m not sure when I’ll be back, but it should be before supper. Don’t bother cooking. I’ll stop and pick up a pizza on the way home.”
“You don’t have to do that—”
“It’s no problem,” he assured her, dropping a quick kiss on her mouth. “The kids like pepperoni, right? I’ll get an extra large, then they can really pig out.”
He was gone before she could say another word, shutting the door behind him and almost running out of the Social Club like the miserable coward that he was. There was no meeting, nowhere that he had to be, which was probably a good thing. Dazed, his thoughts chasing themselves in circles, he got in his car and just drove. Later, he couldn’t have said where he went—it didn’t matter. All he could think of was Phoebe.
He loved her. Just how much still stunned him. No one’s happiness had ever meant so much to him, and it was daunting. He’d cared about women before—he was thirty-six years old, for God’s sake! But caring was a whole different feeling from loving, and he was only just now realizing that. It explained so much. Like why he’d gone so far as to volunteer to sleep on the floor in the attic just to keep her close. He was a man who liked his creature comforts—he didn’t rough it for anyone. But he would have slept on the roof if that’s what it would have taken to convince her to stay.
Because he loved her. Because he would have moved heaven and earth to make her happy. Because he couldn’t even contemplate the thought of losing her. Not now. Not ever. She was his. Why had it
taken him so long to see that?
His car phone rang suddenly, cutting into his thoughts. Frowning, he almost ignored it. It was probably business, and he didn’t feel like talking. But the thing kept ringing, and with a muttered curse he jerked it up. “What?”
As a greeting, it was a damn rude one, but his caller only returned it in kind. “I want to know what the hell you think you’re doing, Ryan,” Applebee growled in his familiar gravelly voice. “I had a verbal contract for every one of those leases you stole out from under me in the Permian Basin, and if you try to get so much as a drop of oil out of those wells, I’ll tie your ass up in court for the next ten years. If you don’t believe me, you just start pumping and we’ll see who blinks first.”
At any other time, Mitch him would have told him to do whatever he thought he was big enough to do—he could handle whatever he dished out. But today he didn’t give a damn about business. And if that didn’t tell him just how crazy in love he was, nothing else would.
“You want the leases back? Fine, they’re yours,” he said flatly. “Take them. I don’t care anymore.”
For a second, there was nothing but stunned silence. He could almost hear the wheels turning in the old man’s head. Then he said suspiciously, “My daddy taught me to always look a gift horse in the mouth. Especially when it comes from a tricky bastard like you. What are you up to?”
“Not a damn thing,” Mitch retorted, scowling. “Unlike you, I just have more important things on my mind right now. So if that’s the only reason you called, you can rest easy. You win, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay,” he snapped irritably. “It’s no fun trying to beat you at your own game if you’re going to let me win, dammit! What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing!”
“The hell there isn’t. You’re sick, aren’t you? What is it? One of those bugs or something more serious?”
His patience almost at an end, Mitch clenched his teeth on an oath. “I’m not sick, all right? I’m healthy as a horse.”
“Then what the devil’s wrong with you? In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never given up on a deal. Something’s wrong, and don’t try to tell me it’s not. I know you too well to fall for that kind of a snow job.”
Goaded, Mitch never intended to tell him, but the words just popped out. “All right,” he said through his teeth, “you want to know what’s going on, I’ll tell you, you old goat. I just realized I’m nuts about someone. There! I told you. Are you happy now?”
He expected a sarcastic remark, but Applebee surprised him. “The question is...are you?”
He didn’t even have to think twice about it. “Yeah, I am. Of course, I’ll be even happier when I know the lady feels the same way.”
He had to believe that she did, but what if she didn’t? Just the possibility that she might not sent a cold chill rippling through his blood. And suddenly he understood how Applebee’s granddaughter, Lisa, must have felt when he’d had to tell her that he didn’t love her. No wonder her entire family had hated his guts after that. Until then they’d been close friends, but Applebee had been so outraged that he’d hurt his granddaughter that he’d been trying to make him pay ever since. And Mitch couldn’t say he blamed him. He’d never set out to hurt Lisa, but he had, and he regretted that.
“I know it’s a little late for apologies,” he said gruffly, “but I really hate that I hurt Lisa. She’s a wonderful woman. I never wanted anything but the best for her.”
“You sound like you really mean that,” the old man said, surprised.
“I do. I just wasn’t what she needed. She didn’t want to believe that at the time, but obviously I was right. I heard she was getting married to Wesley St. John’s son. She’ll be happy with him. She wouldn’t have been with me.”
It was the simple truth and Applebee was wise enough to know it. “I didn’t agree with your methods at the time,” he said grudgingly, “but looking back on things, I’d have to say you did her a favor. And if you want to do yourself one, you’d better snatch up this gal you’re crazy about before someone else comes along and steals her away from you. Good women are in short supply this day and age, and you don’t want to lose her.”
Just that easily, peace was made between them. Grinning, Mitch said, “I plan to do that just as soon as I can get her a ring. Now about those leases. You still think you want to take me to court over them?”
They both knew that yesterday, Applebee would have gone for his throat if the opportunity had presented itself. Today, since they’d found a way to bury the hatchet, he only chuckled and said, “I was only trying to get your goat, anyway. Call me after you get things worked out with your lady friend. I’ve got a joint venture I’d like to talk to you about.”
Phoebe waited as long as she dared for Mitch to return with the pizza he’d promised for supper, but the kids were hungry and it was getting late. Hurriedly throwing together spaghetti and meat sauce, she glanced at the clock for the third time in as many minutes and tried to convince herself there was no reason to be concerned just because Mitch had been gone for hours. He’d told her he was meeting with a banker, and any discussion that involved money could always be expected to run long. There was certainly nothing to be worried about. Any second now, he’d stroll in with a pizza box and she’d wonder why she had ever been worried.
But ten minutes passed, then another ten, and there was still no sign of Mitch. She fed the kids, but she couldn’t eat herself. Not when she remembered Mitch’s face when he’d practically run out of the apartment.
He knew, she thought, shaken. She must have given herself away when they’d made love, and somehow he’d figured out that she loved him. That was why he hadn’t come back. He didn’t know how he was going to break it to her that he didn’t love her back.
No! her heart cried. She was just being paranoid. He couldn’t possibly know for sure that she loved him—she’d never said so much as a word about her feelings. If he was late, it had nothing to do with her. He’d just gotten held up by business.
As if in response to her troubled thoughts, the phone rang at that moment, and she went weak with relief. He’d probably just realized he was running late and was calling to let her know that he wasn’t going to be able to make it home in time for supper after all.
She grabbed the phone on the third ring, but it was Alice, not Mitch, on the other end. Disappointed, she said, “Oh, hello, Alice. I’m sorry, but Mitch isn’t here right now. He’s in a business meeting. Would you like him to call you when he gets back?”
“Oh, no, dear,” she assured her. “You can just give him a message for me, if you wouldn’t mind. I just wanted him to know that since his surgery, Glen has made a remarkable recovery, and it looks like he’s going to be released from the hospital much sooner than expected. So I may be able to come home by the end of the week. Isn’t that wonderful?!”
Stunned, Phoebe reached for a chair and didn’t even remember sinking into it. “Y-yes, wonderful,” she echoed faintly. “I know you must be thrilled.”
“Oh, I am!” the older woman exclaimed happily. “Emily and I have been so worried about him. Then when the doctors said today how well he was doing, we both just broke down and cried. It’ll still be a while before he’s back on his feet, of course,” she added, “but just knowing that it’s only a matter of time before he’s completely recovered has been a tremendous boost for him and Emily. This has been a nightmare for both of them, and now that the end is in sight, they know they’re going to get through it just fine.”
She was coming home. She’d be there by the end of the week, and Mitch would leave because there was no longer any reason to stay.
Devastated, hardly hearing the older woman as she chatted about the excellent health insurance her son-in-law had, and the in-home health care that would be provided once he left the hospital, Phoebe said all the right things at all the right places. But inside, her heart was breaking. This was it, then. The end. By the time Alice returned
, the remodeling of the attic would be far enough along for Phoebe and the kids to move upstairs. Mitch wouldn’t stick around, of course—why would he? He had a life back in Dallas, and with Alice back to oversee the last of the remodeling, not to mention any problems that cropped up with the Social Club, he would no longer be needed in San Antonio. In all likelihood, he wouldn’t even come back for Christmas.
Her throat tight with emotion, she said huskily, “I’ll give Mitch the message when he gets back. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”
Heartbroken, she told herself she wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of the kids. They wouldn’t understand, and it would just upset them. So she cleared off the table after they’d eaten, then with forced cheerfulness, helped them with their homework. They were just finishing up when she heard Mitch’s key in the lock and he walked in.
He’d forgotten the pizza, and he looked like he’d been running his hands through his hair, but he offered no explanation of why he was late. And she didn’t ask. She couldn’t. The second her eyes met his, her heart started to pound, and she knew she couldn’t tell him about Alice’s call. Not yet. She’d have to tell him goodbye soon enough—she couldn’t do it then.
Turning her attention back to the kids’ homework, she tried to concentrate, but she was fighting a losing battle. He came into the kitchen to greet the kids and ask them about their day, and although he didn’t so much as touch her, she was aware of his nearness, the brush of his eyes on her, his every little move. And it hurt. Afraid the tears stinging her eyes would spill over her lashes, she quickly rushed the kids through the rest of their homework, and then escaped to the bedroom to lay out their clothes for the next morning while they took their baths.
She couldn’t hide in the bedroom forever, though, and all too soon, she was doling out good-night kisses and hugs, and then she was alone with Mitch in the living room. In the sudden silence, she would have sworn he could hear the pounding of her heart.