She slept with him! I thought to myself. He kissed her, and he touched her body.
Rage and jealousy exploded inside me. I don’t know why I was that upset, or surprised if I was honest, but I was. I thought that maybe her feelings had changed for him; maybe she had feelings for me now.
Still, she slept with him.
I lay my head on the roof of the car, pinching my eyes shut, as I desperately tried not to think of her with my best friend, but it was all I could see in my mind. Him touching her, kissing her; her body reacting to his touch, how she might sound as she cried out in pleasure.
This was hell.
“Hey, Loser,” Jared's voice called from behind me, pulling me from my thoughts. “Why didn’t you wait?”
“I did,” I replied, as I walked around the car, pulling open the driver’s door, then climbing inside. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”
“Jesus, what crawled up your ass?” Jared asked with a laugh as he walked to the car and climbed inside too. “Are you okay, Buddy”?
“Not really,” I replied, knowing there was no point in lying about that fact, as clearly, I was far from not okay.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asked, giving me a worried look.
Do I wanna talk about it! I laughed to myself. If you knew what was going through my head, you would kick my ass.
“Not really,” I sighed, knowing there was nothing I could say to him, so I started the engine.
“You need to get laid,” he laughed as he fastened his seat belt and tipped the seat back a little to make himself comfortable. I didn’t know why, but I felt irritated.
I loved Jared, I really did, but sometimes his cocky attitude rubbed me the wrong way. Today was one of those times. I knew it was because I was jealous, but still, I wanted to tell him to shut the hell up, but I didn’t. Instead, I just held my tongue.
“And where do you suggest I do that?” I asked, focusing on the road ahead. “In case you forgot, I live in your mother’s house, with my kid sister across the hall. Not exactly the bachelor pad I need to shag my way through half of the female population of Pullman.
“Here,” he said as he reached into his jeans pocket, pulling his apartment keys from his pocket, holding them out to me. “Use my place. I will be at Sav’s tonight.”
My stomach clenched at his words, but still, I glanced at the keys hanging from his fingers. Maybe that was what I needed. Maybe I needed to fuck that girl right out of my head.
I reached up and took the keys.
“Thanks,” I said, as I threw them down on the centre console of the car.
“Actually,” he said, sitting up straight in the car. “Can you do me a favour? Drop me at the corner up ahead. And if Sav asks, I was with you this afternoon.”
“What?” I asked, surprised by his request. “Why do you want me to lie to your girlfriend?”
“Oh… eh,” he stammered, as he face flushed with embarrassment. “I’m trying to sort something out; it’s a surprise.”
“You expect me to believe that?” I asked, knowing my best friend was lying his ass off.
“I just need to take care of something,” he said, as the lines of worry appeared on his forehead. “I just don’t want Sav to know.”
“Are you in some kind of trouble?” I asked, feeling a little worried now too. I pulled the car to a stop at the corner, just as he’d requested
“Nothing I can’t handle,” he replied with a cocky grin before he reached for the handle of the door. “Have fun tonight. There are rubbers in my bedside locker, should you need them. Just work out whatever ever bug has crawled up your ass because since you got back, you seem different. I want my friend back, and if that means fucking a few faceless girls, then do it. Sort your shit out.”
“Jared, you have a good thing with Savannah,” I said, hating that I was even saying these words. “Don’t fuck it up by being you.”
He didn’t reply, instead he gave me one last grin, before he climbed out of the car, then was gone.
As I drove back to Sylvie’s, I thought about what Jared had said. He was right; I needed to sort my shit out. I wasn’t so sure about the faceless girls’ part, but sure, a night of hot, dirty sex was probably just what I needed.
Two hours later, I was sliding onto a stool at the bar in Joe’s.
“Haven’t you had enough of this place?” Joe asked with a grin as he set a beer down in front of me.
“You would think so,” I laughed, reaching for the cold glass. Lifting it up, I nodded to Joe and smiled. “Cheers.”
“Are you okay, Seth?” Joe asked, giving me a worried look. “You don’t seem yourself lately.”
“That seems to be a very popular opinion lately,” I sighed as I brought the glass to my lips, taking a long sip. “But I’m okay.”
I had considered for a moment confiding in Joe. In some ways, he was like a father figure to me. Still, admitting I was in love with my best friend’s girl, was not something I was planning on doing any time soon.
“Well, if you want to talk,” Joe said, giving me a knowing smile. “You know where to find me.”
“Thanks, Joe,” I replied with a smile as someone sat in the seat next to me. I turned to see a pretty redhead I had seen a couple of times in the bar before, but for some reason, her name escaped my mind.
“A white wine, please,” she said, smiling at Joe, before she glanced sideways at me, then smiled again.
“Put that on my tab, Joe,” I said, giving him a wink, knowing that he hadn’t started a tab for me. He just laughed.
“Sure,” he said, giving me a nod as he turned to get her drink.
“Thank you,” the girl said, giving me her most dazzling smile. “You’re Seth, right?”
“I am,” I replied, leaning closer to her. “But I don’t believe I know your name.”
“Jen,” she replied, holding out her hand to mine. I quickly took her hand, giving her a killer smile.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Jen,” I said as Joe set her wine glass down in front of her. We both reached for our glass. I raised mine to hers.
“Here’s to a good night,” I said, holding her gaze with mine.
Slamming my mouth against Jen’s, I pressed her against the cold, glass wall of the elevator, as it jumped to life, heading up to Jared’s apartment. Part of me wanted this, but part of me felt like I was doing it for the wrong reasons.
When the elevator stopped, we tumbled out the doors, heading straight for Jared’s apartment.
“Do you live here alone?” Jen asked with a giggle as I tried to get the door open. She pressed against my back, reaching around to caress my cock.
“I don’t live here at all,” I said, trying hard to focus on the lock, but my cock was now hard, and her touching it was making it harder to focus. “It’s my friend’s place, but he won’t be back tonight.”
“So, I get you all to myself,” she breathed against my ear as I finally managed to get the key into the lock. “I want you to fuck me so hard, everyone in this building will know your name.”
Jesus! I thought to myself. This girl is going to fucking kill me.
I pushed the door open, I turned and scooped her up in my arms, carrying her straight to the bedroom.
When we reached the room, I threw her down on the bed and was rewarded with an excited squeal, as I made short work of my t-shirt.
I wasn’t wasting any time, and I knew I wasn’t going to last long.
“Come on, Big Boy,” she purred from where she lay on the bed. “Show me what you’ve got.”
I didn’t wait to be asked again. I climbed over her, claiming her mouth with mine. It was time to have some fun, putting everything else out of my mind.
Chapter 12
Savannah
I glanced over at the clock on my nightstand. It was almost six a.m. I had spent the entire night, staring at the ceiling, listening to Jared as he snored softly next to me, but my thoughts were consumed by Seth.
I had no i
dea why he had come to my apartment the day before, but I knew that when he left, he was angry. I knew he assumed I had just had sex with Jared; I just didn’t know why he would have been so bothered.
I released a long sigh, as I slowly turned, facing Jared once more.
Two weeks ago, this boy meant everything to me. I thought maybe he might be the one that I could build a future with. Now, I had no clue what the future would hold for me anymore.
Since the night Seth drove me home; the night we kissed, my head and my heart where in constant conflict. I knew that there was no future for Seth and me, just like I knew now there was also no future for Jared and me.
Over the last few days I had been back and forth about ending things with Jared. Deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do. But then I would think of Seth and as stupid as it sounded, I knew ending things with Jared meant I wouldn’t see Seth anymore, other than at the bar. For some reason this thought made me sad and made ending things with Jared harder.
When Jared turned up at the apartment, the day before, I had been crying. He demanded to know what was wrong. I wanted to tell him that we were finished, I wanted to tell him that I was falling in love with his best friend.
But I didn’t. Instead, I took the coward’s way out and lied. I said I was reading a sad story, and it had made me cry.
“Aww, Babe,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me. “How cute are you? Please don’t cry.”
I let him wrap me in his arms, as I cried once more. Why was my life such a mess?
“You know I hate to see you so sad,” he whispered, pulling me closer to him. This just made me cry harder. I pressed my face to his chest and allowed the tears to fall. “Are you sure that it was just some book that upset you?”
“Yeah,” I sniffed, and as I did, something caught my attention. It was a smell; one that was familiar, but one I couldn’t quite place. It was perfume. I lifted my head, looking up into his eyes. “Why do you smell like perfume?”
He stared at me for a moment, then lifted his shirt and gave it a sniff.
“Jolie,” he said with a smile. “She thought it was funny to spray me with her god-awful stuff when I stopped by Mom’s. She thought she was hilarious.”
“I thought I recognised it.” I said, my heart sinking as I thought of Jolie. She had become like a kid sister to me these last few weeks. How was I going to explain all this to her too?
“Actually,” he said as he stood up from the sofa we were sitting on. “Would it be okay if I hopped in the shower? I have to do some deliveries for Mom later, and I don’t want to go smelling like a chick.”
“Sure,” I replied, giving him a smile as I wiped my eyes. “There are some of your clothes on the chair in there. You left them here, so I washed them.”
“Thanks,” he said, giving me a quick kiss before he disappeared into the room.
If I was honest, I was glad of the chance to gather my thoughts. I hated this whole, stupid mess, but I knew that I needed to be honest with Jared. Maybe not about Seth, but about the fact that I just didn’t feel the same way about him, as he did about me. I decided that when he got out of the shower, I was going to be honest and tell him that I thought he and I just weren’t working out.
As I sat there, running through what I was going to say to him in my mind once he was finished in the shower, I knew as much as it would kill me to break his heart, it was the right thing to do.
But then Seth turned up at my door, and I had no clue what to think. He had come to talk, I could see that in his eyes, just like I could see the disappointment in them too when he thought I had slept with Jared.
When he said that kissing me was a mistake, my heart broke, and I knew I was going to cry, but I refused to cry in front of him, not again. Then when he said that about doing Jolie’s party alone, it took everything I had not to fall apart.
I had no idea why I was so undone by this man. In the two weeks I’d known him, something about him just got under my skin. Maybe it was the way he looked at me, or the things he whispered to me those moments we had struggled to fight our feelings. Somehow, he’d made me feel like I was the most important person in the world to him, something I hadn’t felt ever before.
Why would I?
My mom didn’t care enough to stick around for me or take me with her when she left my father. My father didn’t know the first thing about love. His answer to everything was found in the bottom of a glass, or with his fists. So, I learned at a very young age that I needed to take care of me, that I wasn’t worthy of the love I longed for in my heart.
At least that’s what I used to believe until I met Seth. When he looked at me, I felt like maybe I was worth something after all; maybe I’m not as worthless as my parents had made me feel since the day I was born.
But when he stood there in front of me the day before, he couldn’t even look at me. As he spoke, I could hear the hurt, and more importantly the anger in his voice.
I wanted to beg him to look at me. To tell me that he didn’t feel about me, the same way I felt about him, but I couldn’t find the words. Then he was gone, and I was left standing there at the door.
“Sav, where’s Seth gone?” Jared’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. For a moment, I had actually forgotten he was even in my apartment. “Sav!”
“He’s waiting in the car,” I replied, turning to look at him. I knew right then, what feelings I had for Jared were completely gone, and I really couldn’t fake this any longer. “I need to talk to you.”
“Right now?” He asked as he grabbed his jacket from the armchair in my living room, then heading for the door. “I really need to get going…”
“Yes, right now,” I said as I followed him along the hallway. “It’s important.”
“I’m sure it is,” he said, as he turned to kiss me. “But Seth is waiting. We can talk about it later. Maybe we can have a quiet night in, just the two of us.”
“Jared!” I cried with frustration, but he just blew me a kiss, and hurried out the door.
“FUCK!!” I cried, before walking back towards the living room, flopping down on the sofa. “Why does this have to be such a fucking mess?”
I decided to push Seth, Jared and the whole entire nightmare from my mind, and try to concentrate on getting everything ready for when I started back to class in a weeks’ time.
I was soon lost in my books, and finally, for a short while, I was able to forget about the train-wreck that was my life.
It was a little after eight when there was a knock on my door, right as I was in the middle of searching for a book that I had mislaid.
I hurried to the door, wondering who I would find standing at my door this time. Part of me hoped it would be Seth, but something told me that was not very likely. Whatever there was between us, was now gone, because he thought I had slept with Jared; he believed that I was trying to make things work with him. I knew there was no way Seth would stand in his friends’ way. He was not that kind of man.
When I opened the door and found Jared standing there, I would have been lying to say I wasn’t disappointed.
“I brought food!” He announced as he walked into my apartment. “And a bottle of wine.”
“I can’t drink, I need to get this work finished, but I can’t find some of my textbooks.” I sighed as I followed him down the hallways, back towards the living room.
“There are some of your books at my place,” he replied, as he headed straight through the living room, towards the kitchen. “But right now, you need to eat.”
“I’m not really hungry,” I said stopping at the door of the kitchen, but Jared wasn’t listening. “And I still have so much work to do…”
“When you eat,” Jared said, looking at me finally. “Come on, Babe. It’s your favourite. It’s sushi from that place you like near Mom’s shop.”
He stared at me for a moment, and I knew that he was trying his hardest. I wanted to tell him to just leave, but I couldn’t say it when he was trying t
o be so nice to me.
Why can’t you just love him? I thought to myself miserably. Why can’t things just go back to how we were before Seth came back?
“Fine,” I sighed, knowing he was never going to take no for an answer. “But then I have to get back to work.”
“Deal,” he replied, giving me a smile that said, he had no intention of letting me get back to work.
I wondered if maybe I should try to talk to him again. It was the right thing to do. I knew it. I just didn’t want to hurt him, so I needed to choose my words carefully.
“So, you and Seth sort things out?” He asked as he set out our food on the two plates he had pulled from the cupboard.
“Sort things out?” I asked, a feeling of dread settling in the pit of my stomach.
“For the party,” he replied, giving me a strange look. “That’s why he was here today, right?”
“Right,” I nodded quickly, as I walked across the kitchen and sat on a stool next to the breakfast counter. “Yeah, it’s all sorted. I think Seth has everything pretty much covered. He doesn’t really need me… to help I mean.”
“Great,” Jared replied absentmindedly as he pushed a plate towards me. “Now eat something. It will do you good. Then I will rub your back.”
“My back?” I asked, surprised by his offer.
“I just thought… I mean…,” he said, once more he gave me a strange look. “You really don’t seem yourself tonight. I figured that you’re stressed out doing this work, and a nice back rub would help you relax a little. Or maybe a bath?”
“I’m okay,” I lied, forcing a smile, before I shoved some food into my mouth, giving myself a moment to think. However, it was probably the wrong thing to do, because my stomach was now heaving, and it was all I could do not to vomit there and then on the floor of my kitchen.
Clamping my hand over my mouth, I jumped up from the stool, making a dash for the bathroom, where I threw up the entire contents of my stomach.
“Jesus, Sav!” Jared exclaimed from the doorway behind me. “Are you okay?”
“I will be,” I groaned, wiping my mouth with my hand, as I walked to the sink to rinse my mouth out.
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