by K. G. Reuss
From the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow slip silently through my mother’s open bedroom door. My body stiffened as the temperature dipped even lower. My breath came out in tiny gasps and clung to the air like week-old bubblegum holds to the underside of a desk. There was more than just the shadow there. I could feel it. They were there, lurking nearby, the creatures that haunted me as a child.
“Go away, go away, go away,” I whispered over and over, fidgeting with my necklace and squeezing my eyes closed, with the blanket still pulled firmly around me. I dared to peek out from beneath my lashes after a moment and saw that the room was empty.
I opened my eyes wider and let out an ear-splitting scream as a leathery creature with razor-sharp teeth and claws longer than my hair, unfolded from the end of the bed and launched itself at me. It had no eyes, only torn skin where the eyes should be, and snake-like slits for a nose. A nasty, black liquid oozed from its open mouth.
It happened in an instant. The shadow from the door planted itself in front of the creature and sliced through its body with a sword as dark and shadowy as the creature itself. The creature fell with thump and a nasty snarl before it hissed and popped, disappearing into black, floating ash. Shadow turned to face me. His red eyes stared at me as he continued to clutch the shadowy sword in his hand. Fear ripped a scream from my throat.
“Ever! Ever!” My mother shouted frantically, shaking me. Shadow disappeared in a puff of black mist as my mother wrapped her arms around me. “Mija, what’s wrong?”
“There-there was a monster. A creature. It attacked me. And there was a shadow. It was a man. I think,” I cried incoherently, clinging to her, burying my head in her neck.
“There’s nothing here, sweetheart. Nothing.” She held onto me as I sobbed, her hand gentle as she pushed my damp hair away from my face. “It was a bad dream. That’s all. Just a dream.”
She pressed me to her until I’d calmed down, repeating her words in my head.
Bad dream. Just a dream. Not real!
“Dios mío, it’s cold in here,” she murmured, giving me a hug as I pulled in a shaky breath and wiped at my eyes.
It couldn’t have been a dream. I was awake. I knew I was.
I couldn’t shake it. No matter how many times I said it wasn’t real in my head. It had to be. It was just too vivid to not be.
“I’m sure all the stress you’ve been under is causing you to have nightmares—,” she started again.
“No, I saw it. It lunged at me from the floor. Then there was a shadow man with a sword,” I choked out, wiping more tears from my eyes, her words not the blanket of comfort I needed. I knew what I’d seen. “I swear it wasn’t a dream.”
“Mija, we’ve lived in this house for ages now. I’m sure it was nothing. You need to go back to sleep, child. You’re stressed out over Dylan, and it’s making you have nightmares. It’s happened to me before, too. Come on. Lie back down. Want me to get Mr. Boggles for you?” she teased, trying to make me feel better as she referred to the stuffed bunny from when I was a kid. I’d hug the crap out of that thing whenever I was scared. It was one of the only things that got me through my childhood.
I’d blocked out all the weird things I’d seen crawling and slithering around in the night or when my dad locked me in dark closets. It had been years since I’d seen anything scary. Mom claimed I had an overactive imagination. She’d told me to pray, as was her way with most things, and they’d go away. Eventually they had, but I was sure it wasn’t because I’d prayed. It was because I made myself block it all out, just like I blocked out the pain whenever my dad would hit me. Creating a hard exterior, had kept me safe from both living and non-living things. Tonight reminded me that the things in the dark were clearly still around, however dormant they may have seemed.
Eventually I managed to fall into a fitful sleep. When I woke up in the morning, my mom had already left for work. Not wanting to waste time being in this house of horrors, I showered quickly, dressed, and skipped breakfast. I ran the entire way to school hoping to catch breakfast there before it ended.
***
“Hey, Ever,” Nina Hamilton, my best friend, greeted me as I sat down across from her. Her blue eyes sparkled as she looked at me. With her blonde hair pulled up into a tight ponytail, she was the epitome of the pretty, girl-next-door. She was popular with a soft, caring streak and didn’t really fit in with the group she hung out with. When she’d taken me under her wing in second grade after Greg Kildner cut off my Barbie’s hair, cemented our friendship. We mostly hung around the same people. However, I tended to be more withdrawn and sarcastic. I was probably only tolerated because I was Nina’s friend. I knew damn well I didn’t fit in with them, and they certainly didn’t go out of their way to invite me places. The fact that Dylan had even asked me out was a miracle.
“Hey, Nina,” I yawned.
“You look exhausted,” she frowned, her blue eyes sweeping over me quickly. “What’s wrong? Is it Dylan?”
“No,” I grimaced. She knew that I’d really liked him, and I think she was under the impression I still did. She wasn’t wrong. Maybe I did. It was a complicated emotion that I wasn’t sure how to explore.
“It’s OK if it is. He was a total douchebag,” she continued, not buying what I was selling.
I found my eyes wandering over to him as he laughed with a group of his jock friends. He was always the center of attention. Unfortunately, a lot of the attention came from females. And he enjoyed it as much as any red-blooded, teenaged guy would. I hadn’t realized how he was with other girls. It had become blaringly clear over the past few weeks though. I didn’t regret ignoring his texts.
I felt let down by him. My father hadn’t been much of a husband or parent, and I’d always pictured myself with someone who would make me happy, someone who would challenge me—in good ways. I thought I had that with Dylan, but I’d been wrong. It left me feeling empty, angry, and hurt on the inside.
“I don’t care,” I muttered, suddenly not hungry for the toast and breakfast bar in front of me. “He can have Brit. He clearly wanted her, so I guess we both win.”
“How do you both win?” Nina demanded. “He gets what he wants while you, what? Get hurt? Screw that. You deserve better than him, Ever. You’re so beautiful and smart and funny—”
“Nina, it’s OK. Really,” I cut her off and gave her my most winning smile, knowing that it didn’t quite reach my eyes. She let out a sigh, still not buying it. Yeah, I was bummed, but I’d get over it. He wasn’t the person I thought he was. Lesson learned. Moving on.
“You know, Andy Daniels and Clare Morgan just broke up. I heard Andy had a crush on you. Maybe I can set you two up,” Nina switched gears, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of playing matchmaker.
“No thanks, Nina,” I said, getting to my feet. “I think I’m all set for the time being. I need to take some me time. You know, figure out who I really am on the inside.”
“Ever,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes at my jest. “Shut up! You’re the last person who needs that. I’ve never met a girl more confident and sure of herself in my life!”
“You flatter me,” I teased, pulling my bag over my shoulder.
“Well, it’s true,” she continued, getting to her feet and walking with me to my locker. “Where did you get that sweater? It’s really pretty.” She eyed my emerald-green sweater enviously, and I laughed.
“My grandmother gave it to me. She said it would bring out my eyes,” I answered, shrugging.
“It brings out more than your eyes.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and we both burst into fits of giggles. It felt good to laugh.
“Hey, now,” I admonished her as our laughter died down. “Personally, I’d go down a size. You know that.”
“And hopefully give it to me,” she grinned, glancing down at her own chest. “I wish mine were bigger.”
“Of all the people to complain about her body, you’re the last one who should, Nina. You’re beautiful. You s
hould know that by now.”
“Of course, I am,” she flipped her ponytail over her shoulder, grinning. “I just want bigger boobs.”
We laughed together as I stuffed my history book into my bag, my terrible night forgotten, and we made our way to class. The morning wore on as only a morning at school could. By lunch, I’d heard rumors about me and Dylan circulating, and while most of them were just plain stupid, a few of them touched on a nerve and hurt me.
“Is it true that you wouldn’t put out and that’s why Dylan Reynolds broke up with you?” Casey Michaels asked, snapping her gum loudly as she stood over us at lunch, her dark eyes flashing wickedly at me.
“Get out of here,” Nina snapped getting to her feet. “Crawl back to your hole, Casey.”
“I’m only asking because Dylan is on the market again and some of us,” she sneered at me, plowing on as if Nina hadn’t insulted her, “actually enjoy doing the things that Ever doesn’t like to do.”
“We all know you’re one of those people,” Nina snorted, rolling her eyes. “I’ll make sure Dylan gets the memo.”
“Thank you.” Casey grinned like she thought Nina was serious before marching away, her chestnut-colored hair swinging behind her.
“Can you believe her?” Nina shook her head in amazement, a muscle thrumming along her jaw. “Seriously. What an idiot!”
“Actually, I can. She’s had her eye on Dylan for a long time.” I rested my head on my hand and stabbed at my salad listlessly. “I’m surprised he hasn’t already been with her.”
“He’s the one who lost out, Ever,” Nina stated, her eyes focused on me. “We both know that.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, waving her off. I didn’t feel like having this conversation. Again. Regardless if it was his loss, it still hurt. I was grateful that this was the last month of school before summer break hit. At least once classes were out, I wouldn’t have to see Dylan all the time.
Nina sighed without another word, and we were soon joined by Beth and Gemma, two of the popular girls that Nina chummed around with. Grateful that Nina was distracted, I let my mind wander, trying to figure out what I’d actually seen in our house last night. I had the niggling feeling that the shadow was the same one from my childhood, just bigger. He was always about the same size as me. He seemed to have grown up over the years. Like me.
I tried figuring it all then and failed. It didn’t seem like much had changed in that respect.
“Ever?” Dylan’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I frowned up at him as he stood at our table.
“Hey.” He flashed me his perfect smile, his dusty brown hair falling across his forehead in a way I used to love. Now it only made my stomach churn. “Can we talk?”
“Talk?” I asked dumbly.
“Uh, yeah. Just us.”
“No,” I shook my head, the word tumbling from my mouth without me having to think about it. Beth looked at me like I was crazy to be blowing him off. Maybe I was. I mean, I thought I’d seen a shadow man with red eyes in my house last night. I imagined that he’d grown up with me. That would probably warrant a trip to the hospital for a psych evaluation.
“Ever, please. Just for a minute,” Dylan sighed, looking frustrated, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets.
“Fine,” I huffed, getting up and tossing my salad in the trash. I wasn’t hungry anyway. I followed him out of the cafeteria and wasn’t surprised when he pulled me into an empty classroom and closed the door.
“Ever, I really do want to apologize for what happened at Brit’s party. I know I made a huge mistake. I’ve been a jerk lately over it, and I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose you. Being without you this week has made me realize how important you are to me.”
“Are you feeling well?” I asked, shaking my head at him, my eyes narrowed. “Did you suffer a head injury lately?”
“Ever, come on. You know I care about you—”
“All I know, Dylan, is that I can’t trust you. That pretty much officially ends anything we had.”
“So that’s it? You’re really doing this?” he asked, a deep frown carving his features.
“I didn’t do it. You did when you decided I wasn’t enough. I’m just finishing what you started.”
“Ever.” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. As fast as lightening, his hands fell away from his head and landed on me, pulling me flush to his body. His mouth found mine and he kissed me deeply, his tongue pushing against my own. For a fraction of a second, I parted my lips for him until I realized what I was doing. He’d always had that effect on me. He knew it, too.
“No,” I said, shaking my head at him and pulling away. “No, Dylan. You don’t get to decide this. Not like this.”
“Ever, I love you, OK?” he said desperately. “Is that what you want to hear? I do.” He reached for me again and grasped my hands. “Please. Give me another chance.”
“Dylan—”
“Ever. Please.” His eyes flashed with sincerity.
“I’m sorry, Dylan. It’s not happening. Not right now anyway. I’m still really mad at you. I need time to figure out how I really feel.”
“How long do you need?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “It’s not really something I can put a time limit on. I’d rather us just be friends, OK?”
“You’re serious.” His face fell, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.
“Yes,” I nodded. “I’m serious. I can’t trust you. Why can’t you understand that?”
“I get it.” His eyes narrowed at me, his mouth turned down into a frown. “You’ve always thought you’re better than everyone.”
“What? How can you even say that?” I demanded, my temper flaring.
“I-I don’t know,” he groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Tell me, Ever. What do I have to do to make this right?”
“Well,” I breathed out, still irritated at his words. “Think about it like this, if I’d done this to you, what would you do if you were me?”
He grew quiet, a shadow of sadness covering his face.
“You’re right.” He took a step away from me. “You’re right. I screwed up. I wouldn’t trust you either. There’s probably nothing you could do to change that.”
“See?”
“I-I don’t even know what to say right now. I’m sorry. I really screwed this up. I-I can’t believe we’re over.”
I shrugged helplessly.
“I really do love you,” he murmured, his voice shaking. “Do you love me?”
“Dylan—”
“Ever, please. Did you ever love me?”
“I have to go,” I backed away from him, my chest aching from heartbreak. Maybe I had loved him. Funny, I realized it as I was walking away leaving him to stand there looking as devastated as I felt.
Chapter Four
The rest of the week was torture. The rumor mill churned out more stories, most of them even worse than before. There was one going around that I’d begged Dylan to take me back and was going to give it up to him, but he turned me down because he wasn’t into “pity lays”. That one probably came from one of his friends.
On the bright side, I hadn’t seen anything weird in my house the past few days, so I was able to sleep in my room again without incident. I counted that as a small victory.
My avoidance of Dylan was even greater than before. He’d angered me to the point where I was tempted to scream at him in front of the student population. Because despite saying he loved me and wanted me back, he didn’t bother to quell the nasty rumors. I wanted to confront him and roundhouse kick him in his face—a move I was rather good at—but that seemed like a bad idea, so I did my best to keep my head down. Instead, I took to beating my punching bag in the basement, imagining it was him.
Saturday night, I was sitting at home with my nose stuck in a book after a punishing workout session, where I beat the crap out of my punching bag and then proceeded to kick a lawn chair violently, when my phone rang with a
call from Nina.
“Party central,” I answered on the second ring.
“Yeah, right,” she laughed. “You must have been reading my mind, though. I’m headed over to Jax’s party. Come with me.”
“Thanks, but I’ll pass,” I said immediately. Jax was Dylan’s best friend and therefore guilty by association.
“Ever, you need to face these people so you can show them that none of the crap going on matters,” Nina stated evenly. “We don’t have to stay long. Just long enough to prove that you don’t care, and then we’ll leave.”
“But I don’t care,” I pointed out. “Really, I don’t. School will be out for the summer in less than a month. No one will remember any of this next year.”
“Ever, you do too care. You can lie to everyone else, but I know you. All this crap is bothering you. You know how people are. You need to take a stand. Something they’ll remember you for come next year. Come with me tonight. One hour and we’ll go. You can prove to Dylan you don’t care, too. Hell, maybe you’ll even meet a hot guy to move on with.”
“That’s the last thing I feel like doing,” I grumbled, closing my book, knowing I was losing the battle with her.
“Ever, please? I want to go to bed tonight knowing I tried to save my best friend from public humiliation.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “One hour. That’s it. I’ll leave without you. You know I will.”
“One hour. Two tops.”
“Nina—” I warned.
“I’m just saying, if you end up having fun then there’s no reason to leave, right?”
“You’re such a shit,” I grumbled, rubbing my eyes.
“But you love me anyway.”
“I do,” I admitted. She had a way of always trying to fix things, even when I just wanted to be left alone.
“Wear something cute. That jean skirt you just bought last weekend and that black off-the-shoulder number that shows off your fabulous assets.”
“Whatever,” I yawned. “Hurry up so we can get there and then leave.”
“I’ll be there in fifteen.”