by R. C. Martin
She shifts her attention to my hair, her tiny fingers grabbing a fistful, as if it’s the most fascinating sight she’s ever seen. Then she sneezes. Her whole body jolts and she tugs at the strands. I don’t mind. The little noise of her sneeze is too cute, and it makes me giggle. She shoots her eyes up at me at the sound, and then she smiles at me. Suddenly, I’m completely in love with her.
“See? You’re a natural.”
It isn’t until I hear Pepper’s voice that I realize the room has fallen completely silent. When I look up, I see that Sage has backed away from me, and he’s now holding his sister against his side—both of her arms wrapped around his waist as she smiles at me. Harry offers me an encouraging smile when my eyes find his, and Pepper looks quite pleased.
Sophia tugs at my hair again, winning my full attention. I rub her back gently, and she continues to play with my hair until a loud round of little-boy laughter fills her ears. Her head pops up, knowing exactly who those voices belong to, and then she squeals in delight.
“Sage, why don’t you show Millie to the table. She can hold Sophia while we serve dinner and get the boys ready to eat.”
“You got it. It’s through here, doll face.” He takes two steps and then stops. “You guys,” he says, turning to grin at his sisters. “You didn’t have to do all this.”
Very carefully, I close the distance between us in an attempt to see what he’s talking about. On the other side of the counter is their kitchen table, set up to accommodate all of us. Above the bay windows hangs a handmade banner with words strung together that say, Welcome Home Sage! It’s very colorful, and I can tell that some of the letters were filled in by a couple of young artists.
“Surprise!” Rose replies with a chuckle.
“This is why I love you. Star treatment, right here,” he says, making his way around the counter. I follow him and he pulls out a chair for me on the opposite side of the table, below the banner. As soon as I sit, Rosemary appears with my glass of wine. She puts it down in front of me with a wink.
“Just because you’re on baby duty doesn’t mean you can’t sip. Only, maybe don’t share— ‘cause, you know, backwash,” she teases before she breezes back into the kitchen.
“See, what’d I tell you?” Sage murmurs into my ear. “You’re doing great, baby.”
He presses a kiss against my temple and I close my eyes for a second, relishing this very moment. When he pulls away, leaving me at the table to go round up his nephews, I let myself relax a little bit. The truth is, he was right. His family is pretty great. From the oldest down to the youngest, they’ve welcomed me as if I belong. I’m not certain that I do—I’ve never really belonged anywhere—but I have to admit, right now, I don’t want to be anywhere else.
AFTER DINNER, WE abandon the dishes and head into the living room so that the boys can play while we hang out. Conversation while we were at the table was all about the tour—what I had seen and experienced during my six weeks away. When we settled into the comfortable couches and overstuffed armchairs in the next room, Pepper shifted conversation in Millie’s direction.
The first and only time Pepper was in the company of my girl, we were at The Brew Cycle for one of my shows. The environment was loud, the crowd and live music making it difficult for her to really get a chance to chat with Millie. I know how much she’s been looking forward to a night like tonight. It’s been a long time since I’ve claimed anyone as my girlfriend. The fact that Millie and I have been seeing each other for almost three months now says a whole lot. My sisters know it—and so do I.
Pepper starts off innocently enough, asking Millie about her job and what she likes best about teaching. Millie’s answers are simple and straight forward. I watch her as she speaks, realizing that she doesn’t talk about being a professor like I talk about Mountains & Men. She’s an advocate for higher learning, though I know she doesn’t judge me for being the college drop-out that I am. She’s got a thing for numbers, and she’s obviously good with them, but teaching them isn’t her passion.
I wonder what her dreams are. I wonder what drives her, my gorgeous girl.
It’s not the first time I’ve wondered about it. In fact, I remember asking her once, and she didn’t know the answer herself. I know there must be something that lays dormant inside of her—something that gives her life purpose and brings her happiness. Everyone dreams of something.
“What about your family? What are they like? Do they live around here?” Pepper asks casually, pulling me from my thoughts.
Fuck.
I actually see it as Millie shrinks back into the sofa at the mention of her parents. That right there—that’s what’s buried the dreamer inside of her. Her spirit has been crushed by the people who were supposed to love and encourage her. My parent’s aren’t in favor of my life choices, but they fostered my passion for music all my life. In a way, it’s their fault that I want the things that I want. It’s their fault that I dream as big as I do. They might not know it, but it is. For Millie—it’s the exact opposite.
I reach over and take hold of her hand. Her fingers grip mine tightly in return.
“Uh-oh,” Pepper murmurs. “Sore subject?”
“I don’t really know my father. He left when I was young,” Millie confesses, her gaze locked on our hands resting in her lap. “My mom lives in New Jersey. That’s where I’m from. We don’t get along.”
“Yikes,” says Rosy. “I think that’s definitely a sore subject.”
“Hey, babe,” Harry begins to say as he stands. “How about we save the rest of the inquisition for another time? I’ll put the boys down while you see to Sophia, and then Sage can tell us more about this label deal.”
“We’ll take care of the kitchen while you’re upstairs,” pipes in Rosy as she gets up to deliver goodnight kisses to Henley and Carter.
Pepper agrees, and the boys offer a very reluctant farewell. I let Maestro out back, and by the time I join the ladies in the kitchen, Millie’s already busy rinsing and loading the dishwasher while Rosy clears the table. I stand at the kitchen’s entrance, listening as Rosy chats idly with my girl about the end of her semester and what classes she intends to take next spring. Millie asks a couple of questions in reply, and Rosy is more than happy to answer. I know she’s loving this night just as much as Pepper is.
I won’t lie. I fucking love all of it.
Feels good to know that Millicent fits in with the people I’m closest to. It’s not that I doubted she would—but believing and seeing are two different things. I fall for her a little harder in this very moment, and I know without a doubt that what I told her earlier is fact. I’m not fucking letting her go.
Having withstood the distance between us for too long, I enter the kitchen, coming up behind her as I wrap my arms around her waist. I pull her back against me tightly and then reach up to move her hair away from her neck so I can kiss her there.
“Sage,” she states, as if my affection in present company embarrasses her.
She twists enough to look up at me, and I smile as I inform her, “I need a taste.”
“I don’t think right now’s—”
“Doll face,” I murmur, bringing my lips closer to hers. “I need a taste.”
I dart my tongue out, licking her bottom lip, and she sucks in a quiet breath, leaning back against me. “You’re not playing fair,” she whispers, her eyes traveling down to my lips and then back up to my eyes.
“I know,” I chuckle, grazing my nose along hers.
“Go for it, Millie,” says Rosy, totally interrupting us. “I’ve seen you two…well, I’m just saying, I can handle a little lip action.”
Millie groans softly, turning away from me and busying herself with the dishes.
“The fuck, Rosy?” I ask with a glare. “I’m going to need you to stop finding excuses to bring that shit up.”
“Geez. I just meant—” I scowl at her, and she breaks off her sentence with a huff before she furrows her brow at me. “Ugh. Yo
u’re annoying,” she says, stomping into the next room.
When we’re alone, I give Millie a squeeze around her middle. She ignores me, closing the dishwasher before wiping her hands on a nearby towel.
“Hey, sorry about that. She’s—”
“She was traumatized,” Millie states, spinning around to face me. “I’m sure you would be, too, if you walked in on her fucking someone in the middle of the day.”
“Whoa—don’t put that shit in my head, baby doll. And Rosy better not be fucking anyone, let alone in the middle of the afternoon.”
“All I’m saying is, it’s probably, unfortunately, an image that’s etched into her memory for the foreseeable future. Let’s try not to give her more ammunition.” She tries moving out of my grasp, but I hold her tighter, earning me a quirked eyebrow as her dark green eyes blaze with irritation.
Fuck, if it doesn’t make my dick jump.
“Wasn’t going to rip your clothes off in the middle of my sister’s kitchen, baby—but I sure as fuck need a taste, right now.”
“Sage—”
I slide my hands down around her ass, giving her a squeeze while simultaneously pressing her against the semi hidden in my pants. The look in her eyes softens just a little—just enough. I lean in and kiss her hard before she can attempt to move away from me again. I force my tongue into her mouth, and she sighs into mine as her hands reach up to grip the fabric of my shirt at my sides. The longer we kiss, the harder my dick becomes, but I don’t stop. She feels so damn good.
“Incoming,” Pepper announces. I pull away from Millie as my sister enters the kitchen. She takes one look at us and laughs softly, shaking her head as she turns back toward the living room. “I would invite you to rejoin us when you’re done making out, but from the looks of things, we might be waiting all night.”
Millie yanks her hands away from me and runs her fingers through her hair, pulling the long strands to one shoulder before she starts to go after my sister.
“Baby,” I say, stopping her with another squeeze of her ass.
“I don’t know why I let you kiss me like that here.”
“I do,” I reply with a sly smile, dipping my head to kiss the soft spot behind her ear. “And there’s more where that came from when I get you in my bed, doll face.”
She shivers and I chuckle before kissing her once more. When I lift my head to look into her eyes, her expression is gentle. I slide my hands up, pulling her against my chest as I hold her tight.
“We can be exactly who we are here, baby. They wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ll kiss you any time I want, any way I want. You taste good, Millie,” I whisper, bringing my lips to hers. “Needed a quick fix.”
“Sage,” she breathes, reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck. She pushes herself up on her tiptoes and tightens her grip, burying her face beneath my chin.
“What is it, baby?”
She shakes her head but holds me tighter. I’m not sure what she’s feeling, but I like the way she’s wrapped around me, so I let her have her moment. When she finally pulls away from me, I see that her eyes are glassy. I frown in concern, but she shakes her head once more before kissing my cheek and stepping away from me. I let her go and she reaches for my hand, leading me back into the living room.
AS I DRAG SAGE after me into the next room, I envision the look on Pepper’s face when she came into the kitchen a moment ago. Then, when Sage and I return to our seats on the unbelievably comfortable sofa in the Montgomery living room, I look over and see it again. It’s as if her knowing smile hasn’t left. Hasn’t and probably won’t until someone speaks, drawing her attention elsewhere.
I breathe a small sigh of relief when Rose says something. Though, I don’t know what it is. My mind is still back in the kitchen; my thoughts are still swirling around what Sage said to me…
“We can be exactly who we are here, baby.”
I force in a deep breath and lean into Sage’s side, curling my legs up beside me. He smirks at me, unaware of the ache in my chest, and then he wraps his arm around my shoulders and holds me close.
I’m overwhelmed.
Rosemary has, inadvertently, seen me riding her brother’s dick; Pepper has now seen me, a first time guest in her beautiful home, making out with him in her kitchen. While one is certainly less embarrassing than the other, neither of them has taken the opportunity to think less of me. To them, I’m not a whore or a stupid girl—I’m the woman in love with their brother.
“We can be exactly who we are here, baby.”
I could never do this with my mother. I can never take Sage to Jersey and introduce him to the only blood relative I know. We wouldn’t be able to sit cuddled together on my mother’s couch, talking and laughing about everything—about nothing. She wouldn’t be kind to him, and she definitely wouldn’t be kind to me. And for reasons I cannot adequately explain, being here, now, in the company of Sage’s siblings, I just want to cry.
“We can be exactly who we are here, baby.”
Here—here is home. At Sage’s side, in his arms, I’m home. And when I’m home, I can be exactly who I am; whether that be here, with his family by blood, or with the band, his family by choice. It doesn’t matter how different we are. It doesn’t matter what each of us has been through in our pasts. I’m accepted by these people—all of them—without judgment or condemnation.
I can love Sage as much as I want, as much as I do, and that love will not be damned.
I slip my arm around his stomach, holding onto his side, needing to feel close to my dreamer in order to keep myself together. He tilts his head and looks at me—studies me—trying to figure out what’s wrong. Of course. That’s Sage, capable of reading me and understanding me better than anyone I’ve ever met.
“You okay, doll?” He asks so softly that I’m sure only I can hear him.
“I will be,” I whisper back.
“Tell me later?”
“Yeah,” I barely manage.
He dips his head in a nod and then presses his lips against my forehead. I try immersing myself into the conversation in the room.
“I want to know more about Potential Records,” says Harry, leaning forward as he rests his elbows against his knees. “How does this whole thing work?”
“I’m sure there’s a bunch of logistical shit that needs to be ironed out, but I’ll know more about that on Monday. We’re heading down to Boulder to meet Greg, the owner, and we’ll go from there. Stefany’s done her research, though. Apparently this guy’s dad is a big time producer in the music biz. He started Potential Records because he didn’t like how the bigger labels were handling their bands—changing their sound and shit.
“Anyway, he seems to know what he’s doing, and he likes our music. Stef says she hopes that we’ll have a single off of our new album ready to release in January.”
“Oh, my gosh, this is so cool,” Pepper chirps with a wide grin.
“That, big sis, is a fucking understatement,” laughs Sage.
“So, does this mean your days with Brandon at Little Bird Café are over?” asks Rose.
“Actually, I need to talk to him about that. I know December is a crazy month for him, because he does a lot more baking—doing special orders and shit. I was going to see if I could help out until the New Year; then, yeah—I’ve got a little money saved up, but hopefully Mountains & Men gets some regular gigs. Stefany is a badass, and we’re her top priority right now, so I’m not worried.”
“And you’re going to fill mom and dad in about all of this…when?” Pepper asks, eyeing him warily.
“I’ll tell them soon,” he replies with a nonchalant shrug.
“Soon as in—before Christmas?” asks Rose.
“Sage, I swear to god, if you don’t tell them your plans before Christmas—”
“You guys, I’m a grown-ass man. I don’t need to answer to my parents.”
Harry chuckles and all eyes fall on him. He shakes his head, lifting up his hands as if t
o ward off our questioning stares. “Not saying you’re wrong, Sage—but even I get grilled by your old man.”
“Exactly!” says Pepper, pointing at her husband.
“You guys,” Sage starts with a groan.
“Just don’t ruin Christmas, big bro. Please? Please talk to them before Christmas.”
I peek up at Sage as he tilts his head back, resting it against the top of the couch. He frees a heavy sigh and then levels his gaze once more. “Fine,” he mumbles.
“Great. You have fifteen days,” announces Pepper. “Oh, and speaking of days until Christmas—we’re putting our tree up tomorrow night. We’ve been waiting for you, and the boys are getting antsy. Millie,” she says, her facial expression softening when her gaze meets mine. “You’re more than welcome to join us.”
“You want to join us,” Rose insists, leaning forward to look around Sage at me. “Pepper makes peppermint hot chocolate, and Harry pops a boatload of popcorn. He makes the best popcorn. He seasons half of it for us to eat, and then we string up the rest and put it on the tree.”
“Just a little tradition the four of us started after Harry and I got married,” Pepper informs, smiling at her siblings before reaching over to kiss her husband’s cheek.
“We welcome the strays, so Henley and Carter are in on the action. This will be Sophia’s first year—so you wouldn’t be the only newbie.” Harry teases.
“What do you say, doll face? You with us?”
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, biting down hard as I try my damnedest not to cry. I haven’t cared about Christmas in over twenty years. As a kid, and even now, it simply serves as an excuse to get some time away from school. I’m well aware how abnormal that is. People go crazy over the holiday—or crazy because of the holiday. Nonetheless, I never was one who latched onto the festiveness of the season. Now, I’m being invited into a Christmas tradition. Something special. Suddenly, the magic of Christmas doesn’t seem like such a foreign concept.