by Jessica Marx
I turn around and feel like the wind is knocked out of me. It’s Shane. He smiles back at Claire and walks toward us.
It can’t be Shane. My mind must be playing tricks on me. I look again. It’s him. This is real. This is not a drill. Holy shit. S.P.A. Construction - Shane Paul Andrews. Fuck.
I look around for someplace to hide and actually contemplate crawling under one of the tables. I’m being ridiculous. I’m not ready though - especially not here. Not now. Not with Chad and his parents.
“Mrs. Westbrook,” Shane addresses Claire, then Arnold, “Mr. Westbrook.”
He barely even acknowledges me and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
“Oh, please. Call me Claire,” Claire says in a flirty tone, raising her hand to her chest.
She was right - he is very handsome. The only time I’ve even seen Shane in a suit was at his prom. That was a much different time.
Shane’s dark hair is gelled back with a couple of strands falling loose around his forehead. He’s wearing a well fitted black suit and white collared shirt. The aqua blue tie draws all attention to his eyes which appear to be sparkling. That may just be in my head, but I still can’t stop staring.
“Well, Claire,” Shane replies with a killer smile, “you can call me Shane.”
There’s no denying it - he’s sexy as hell. Claire is blushing. He must have women dropping at his feet.
“Shane,” Claire repeats back to him, “Shane,” she pauses, “this is my son, Chad, and his girlfriend, Beth.”
Shane reaches out his hand and exchanges a firm handshake with Chad.
“Pleasure to meet you,” he says to Chad, “and you as well, Beth.”
Shane reaches out his hand for mine. He’s pretending he doesn’t know me. I can barely think so I just play along. I begin to raise my hand and realize I’m still holding a skewer. I fumble, unable to decide what to do. Without skipping a beat, Shane takes my other hand in his. He raises it to his lips and kisses it like a well mannered gentleman from another century.
“Thank you all for coming tonight. This project means a lot to me,” Shane says.
“It means a lot to us too,” Chad replies, “it’s our biggest undertaking yet, but it will pay off handsomely in the end.”
“I’m sure,” Shane answers, his smile fading slightly, “I just hope it will bring some life back into town and help the people that live there - especially the kids.”
“Yes. They need it,” Chad starts, “it’s become an eyesore. I can’t imagine anyone would live there by choice.”
“I grew up there,” Shane replies, “I have some very fond memories of my childhood.” He looks directly at me. Is anyone else noticing?
“I’m sure you do,” Chad says, “maybe we can talk about some of your plans later. I would love to run some of mine by you as well.”
“Sounds great. I would like to know what you have in mind.”
“We should let you get back to your other guests,” Arnold chimes in, “you boys can talk business later. I’m sure the ladies have no interest in the details.”
We each give a polite chuckle at Arnold’s comment.
“It was a pleasure to meet you both,” Shane says to Chad and I, “and please find me after dinner - we can speak further.”
“I will,” Chad responds and shakes Shane’s hand again.
“Nice to meet you,” I reply. I’m shaking. I wonder if it’s evident in my voice.
Shane walks away and greets another group. I watch the women raise their eyes at each other when he’s not looking. I bet he’s a total player. Why wouldn’t he be?
“He seems nice,” Chad comments, “a little too nice for this business. I wonder what his agenda is.”
“Who knows?” Arnold responds.
“Not everyone has an agenda,” I say in his defense, “maybe he genuinely cares about making a difference.”
Both men snigger - like believing someone is doing something for any reason other than money is a joke. Then again, who am I kidding? This is the same guy that took money from my father in exchange for leaving me. Maybe they’re right.
“Sure. That’s a possibility,” Chad says, putting his hand on my back. I can tell he’s making a sarcastic face without even looking. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
“Actually, I’m not feeling too well,” I answer, taking advantage of an excuse to leave this conversation, “excuse me.” I walk away, eyeing the room in search of a ladies room. I catch a glimpse of Shane entertaining another group of possible donors. When did the kid from the wrong side of the tracks become such a high class charmer?
I make my way to the ladies room. Inside, there’s a small mirrored lounge with some stuffed chairs. I take a seat and stare at myself. What the hell just happened?
I guess I should be thankful that Shane pretended not to know me. That would have made for an awkward conversation. It’s like he’s haunting me. He didn’t seem the least bit surprised to see me either. I wonder if he knew I was going to be here. How would he?
I have to get out of here. I can’t be here with Shane now. I don’t want to be. I especially don’t want Chad to figure out what’s going on. I don’t lie - not to him. I don't want things to get any weirder. I’m going to play sick and bail. I don’t think Chad will mind, he’s here on business anyway.
I stand up and fix my dress. I’m suddenly feeling self conscious. I put on some lipstick and tease out my hair. I shouldn’t care what I look like - but I do. Just in case I run into Shane on my way out. I need him to know what he gave up. Since I haven’t found the courage to tell him yet, this is the best I can do.
I push the door open with my new found self assuredness and take a long stride into the hallway. Then I stop dead in my tracks. Shane is leaning against the opposite wall. Asshole.
I try to ignore the fact that he’s there and walk past him.
“Beth.” My name rolls off Shane’s tongue and every ounce of confidence I had drains from my body.
I stop for a second but change my mind and decide to keep walking.
“Beth,” he calls again, “where are you going?”
I turn to face him, “I’m leaving,” I sneer, “you should know a lot about that.”
“Ouch,” he replies, wincing, “I deserve that.”
“That’s about all you deserve,” I snap back, “maybe a knee to the nuts, but I’m a lady. I’m not going to do that. Not here anyway.”
“I appreciate that,” he flashes a smile, “you look too beautiful to knee a guy in the groin tonight.”
“Don’t push it. I haven’t completely decided against it yet.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just pointing out the obvious. You’ve grown into a gorgeous woman. I mean, I always knew you would, but even I didn’t picture you this,” Shane gestures his hand up and down, “this…beautiful. Sexy. Amazing.”
I blush as much as I don’t want to acknowledge his complement. I’m only blind sided for a second though, “fuck you.”
“Beth, please.”
“No. Fuck you. You could have grown up with me but you chose to run away.
“Just give me a chance. I’m not going to go away until you do anyway.”
“Hmm. You seem to come and go as you please. This time, I’m actually hoping you will just go.”
“Fuck.” Frustrated, Shane runs his hand back through his hair, “I know you don’t mean that, Beth.”
“You don’t know anything about me anymore, Shane.”
“I know more than you think.”
“Well, that’s creepy,” I reply. I want to walk away, but I don’t.
“Let’s just talk,” Shane begs. I look around the corner at all the people in the hall - including my boyfriend and his family.
“Not here. Another time. Just you and me,” Shane continues.
I don’t answer. Instinctively, he knows my silence means I’m considering his offer, regardless of how much I don’t want to.
Sh
ane takes my hand. I feel the same familiar spark - like no time has passed. Like my heart never broke. He slips a business card into my palm.
“Call me. Any time. You choose when and where and I will be there,” Shane assures me.
The sensation of his hand in mine melts away all of my hostility. How does he still have power over me so many years later. I look up at him. He smiles back down at me.
An older woman excuses herself as she walks past us into the ladies room.
“Any time. I’m yours,” Shane assures me.
He squeezes my hand in his and releases his grip. I let my hand fall to my side. And with that, I’m alone - again.
I find Chad in the crowd. He’s immersed in a conversation with a group of other well dressed men. I recognize a couple of them from other events we’ve attended. I catch Chad’s eye and give him a weak smile. He excuses himself and walks over to me.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I don’t know. If you don’t mind, I think I’m going to go home.”
“Sure, hon.” He kisses my forehead, “do you mind if I stay, or do you need me at home?”
“I think I’ll be fine. I just want to curl up in bed.”
“Sure. Why don’t you take the car? I can get a ride home from my parents.”
“Thanks for understanding.”
“Of course. Let me walk you out to the valet.”
Chad takes my hand and leads me through the crowd. In the midst of all of these faces, I spy Shane. It’s like I have douschebag radar. He sees me and our eyes lock momentarily. I feel like I’m cheating on him by holding Chad’s hand which is completely insane. He goes back to his conversation and we continue through the hall.
“Tell your parents I said ‘good night’,” I say while we wait for the car.
“I will,” Chad assures me, “don’t wait up. I’m going to wait until this place clears out and try to catch this Shane guy’s ear. I want to try and work a few things out with him.”
Great. Perfect. Chad and Shane. If only he knew how strange that was. Luckily he doesn’t. I hope he never does.
The valet pulls up with the car.
“Feel better, hon,” Chad says as I get into the driver seat.
“Thanks. Good luck.”
I close the door and adjust the seat. As I grab a hold of the rear view mirror, I see Shane coming out the door. Chad stops him, seizing the opportunity to get Shane alone.
They exchange a few words. Then I see Chad place his hand on Shane’s back and they walk back inside together. Seeing the two of them together is enough to make me sick - for real this time.
I drive away wondering what they are talking about and hoping my name doesn’t come up. If Chad only knew he was about to make a deal with the devil.
Shane
Eight years of my life - gone. Well, not exactly gone - but without Beth, they might as well have been.
I’ve watched her grow up - seen her every move - but she doesn’t know. Thanks to modern technology and social media, it’s become fairly easy to do. I’m not watching her in a creepy way, just waiting for the right time or a good excuse to go back to Lawson. I’ll do whatever I have to to win Beth back. I’ve always loved her and I always will. Time and distance did nothing to change that.
Of course there have been other women, but they were just there to fill a void. I haven’t had a serious relationship since Beth. I don’t think I’m capable of having one. Maybe if I tried harder I could learn, but I don't want to. The night I left, I vowed to never give up on what we had - no matter how long it takes. I know somewhere inside she loves me too, but I have to break down the wall she put up first.
Starting my construction company has proved to be very lucrative for me. I never dreamed I would be so successful. Now, it’s also made my return to Lawson inevitable. Technically, I haven’t moved back yet, but I’m in the process. For now, I’m staying at a hotel in Manhattan. It’s midway between where I’ve been and where I’m going, so I have access to both for the time being. Once I know better what the future holds, I’ll work harder on finding a permanent place to call my own - or our own - if everything goes well.
As soon as I heard the land was for sale, I jumped on it. Luckily, I made my move just before Chad Westbrook got his hands on it. Of course, he bought up the rest of the land, but I have enough property to build the community center I’ve been dreaming of. What are the odds that the two of us would be working the same project? I took it as a sign.
The kids in that neighborhood need a place like this. I should know. Without the Kaminsky family, I would have had no one to count on and guide me as a child. Who knows where I would have wound up?
I do know. I have a good idea anyway. Leaving may have been the worst thing that ever happened to me, but there’s a chance that if I stayed, my life would have been very different - and not in a good way. I sure as shit wouldn’t be where I am now. I wish I could have changed the way it all happened but it’s too late. I can’t change the past. I can only try to shape the future.
Before I did anything, I contacted Tommy. Losing him, and the rest of the Kaminskys was almost as hard as losing Beth. For all intents and purposes, they were my family. Tommy was like my brother. I hated not being able to say good bye. Luckily, men are a little more forgiving than women. It will still take some time, but after one conversation, we were already laughing like long, lost friends should. He never even asked why I left - just what I’ve been doing. He didn’t want to know - not yet anyway. He told me he wasn’t going to tell anyone else in the family that I was back. He doesn’t want to clean up my mess from the past. I understand. I wouldn’t ask that of him anyway.
Fate works in mysterious ways. This time, it came in the form of me donating a community center right smack in the middle of Beth’s boyfriend’s building project. I couldn’t have asked for a better entrance back into my home town - and Beth’s life.
Throughout the process of buying that land and beginning my return to Lawson, I’ve also had the chance to learn more about Chad. He’s definitely a sketchy guy - from what I hear anyway. I plan to find out first hand before I make any accusations, but I’ll be damned if Beth is going to wind up with some scumbag - no matter how much money he has. Even if she doesn’t want to be with me, she deserves a real man - one that will love her and respect her.
Beth’s job as a real estate agent made it easy for me to come up with a plan to see her. When I finally got the balls to make that appointment with her, I had no idea what to expect. It could have gone so many different ways. I can’t say it was a great reunion, but it also could have been worse.
Even after all the Facebook photos and local advertisements with her picture on them, I was taken aback when Beth opened that door for me. Her body is still naturally thin but curvy in all the right places. Her long, blond hair was twisted up in a bun exposing her high cheekbones. She looks the same as she did in high school, just more mature and filled out. It was probably like the third time I’ve seen her in a dress and I enjoyed every second of it. I followed her long legs from that short but professional skirt down to her black high heels and it was an instant boner - still is when I picture it.
Which I did every day until a week later when I saw her again at my benefit. The sight of her in that tight little black dress was too much. Her hair was down this time and that dress hugged her in all the right places. Fuck. It took everything I had not to sneak up behind her, pull her head back by that beautiful mane of blond hair, push her skirt up and fuck her right there.
We’re no where near that point yet. We may never get there. But if and when I finally do get my hands on her, Beth will know for sure, how much I’ve missed her.
I knew she would be there. I’ve learned enough about the Westbrooks lately to know they would be in attendance. I assumed if Chad and his parents were there, Beth would be too, and my assumption was correct.
Of course Beth had no idea before the benefit that S.PA. Construction belongs to
me. If she did, she may not have come. Chad had no knowledge of our past, and the Westbrooks are too self absorbed to pay any attention to details like my name. That night had nothing to do with fate - that was carefully planned on my part. I knew I would get a few minutes with Beth - baby steps. It may take longer this way, but I think it will be easier to get through to her if I do it little by little.
I already made a small breakthrough. When I took her hand in mine, I felt an immediate connection. I know she did too. I saw it in her eyes. She can push me away, but the bond is there. It was never broken. Knowing that is all I need right now. Slowly but surely, the rest will happen.
The one thing I didn’t plan on, was how easy it would be to get to know Chad. I heard he was a shady guy and now he is looking to get on my good side.
After my conversation with Beth, I decided to go outside for some air. It took me a few minutes to work my way through the crowd. By the time I stepped outside, there was Chad, saying goodbye to Beth.
The car door barely closed before he was on me. He wants to meet with me and talk about the downtown revitalization project. He told me he can make things very profitable for both of us. Considering I am doing this project on my own dime, I don’t know exactly where he was going with that, but of course I will hear him out.
We are meeting for dinner at my hotel in Manhattan next week. I have a feeling it’s going to be the start of something great. I’m just not sure who for - yet.
Beth
In less than a week my world has been turned upside down. I had a hard enough time believing Shane was back. Now he’s some construction big wig and donating a community center to boot? Not to mention it’s right smack in the middle of my boyfriend’s project! I know it’s a small world, but this is ridiculous. What the fuck is going on?
Shane had to know. He told me he knows a lot about me. Maybe he planned this whole thing. Would he really drop all that money and build a building just to try and get me back? Is he crazy? No - that’s too far fetched - but this has to be more than a coincidence.